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Girl/Dating Age: Where to begin?

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So there's this girl I'm seeing who asked me out a couple times before I said yes. Anyway I had heard she really liked
loved
me, but she barely knew me so it's probably not true.

Anyway, some days she seems like she's really into me and we text each other a lot and she seems happy and normal. Other days she acts really distant and replies to any of my texts with like 1 word answers. It seems to be getting worse.

One night, she'll want me to sleep over at her place, and then the next day will cancel our plans and do nothing.

I don't know what to do, it's frustrating and I don't know what she wants. I'm going through my own issues of depression and anxiety. I don't think I can have a relationship with someone who has these weird mood swings because they make me feel like shit.

Any advice?
please be nice?
 
Combine said:
I just wish I could find someplace to get to know people. Although at the moment, I guess I still have numerous psych and self loathing problems (not to mention being unemployed still after all these months) that would probably interfere with that.

So in the end, I guess all that I accomplished, was going out.
Click to expand...

One step at a time. Start small and keep building on it. Every little victory counts as each one builds your confidence one bit at a time.

In regards to meeting people, why not look for events, gatherings etc. in your city that are aligned with your interests? You can't seriously tell me that there isn't a single event, gathering. etc. that deals with something your interested in. Look around.

Like I have and many others have said before, you need to deal with your inner-self first before you stand a chance with women.

Women have a 6th sense where they can detect things men can't detect with women. Women can detect your insecurities and whatever other problems and they see that as a warning and flee in an instant. Once your mind is in the right place, you'll notice how things will start to change around you.
 
Fuck I am a little in trouble. I met this chick at a bar at the beginning of this month and we've seen each other four times since then. Dinner twice, a movie, and happy hour. She's 22, and the absolutely *HOTTEST* girl I have ever dated. Like... she is unreal. That's the problem, she's so attractive and smart that I find myself liking her a lot more than I should for a month in. We have a good amount of things in common and I think that she is into me.

Anyway, we've kissed exactly three times and I just need to take this to the next level somehow, by next level I don't mean to fuck her I mean like, girlfriend type dealings. The first time was on our second date, I drove her home and it was a normal kiss. Second two times were the fourth time we went out, it was just two small pecks tho, I think it's because she had a cold.

I just want to ensure she's into me, 'cause I am sure am into her. I think the issue has been that the times we've been out it's been to things where we have such little interaction. Like I said above, two dinners, a movie, and a happy hour where we just sat back and talked shit. I just spoke to her and was looking to set up another meeting. "Thursday could work, I'm going out with my friend Friday for her birthday, maybe you can stop by. I would prefer if we met up Saturday, I will be well rested." I am debating whether or not to go on Friday night. I see it as an opportunity to impress her friends. If she mentions it again I think I will go, I'm a tall good looking guy, why the hell not.

Saturday I was thinking of taking her roller skating. We pretty much have to hold on to each other, should be good, yes?
 
Wellington said:
Fuck I am a little in trouble. I met this chick at a bar at the beginning of this month and we've seen each other four times since then. Dinner twice, a movie, and happy hour. She's 22, and the absolutely *HOTTEST* girl I have ever dated. Like... she is unreal. That's the problem, she's so attractive and smart that I find myself liking her a lot more than I should for a month in. We have a good amount of things in common and I think that she is into me.

Anyway, we've kissed exactly three times and I just need to take this to the next level somehow, by next level I don't mean to fuck her I mean like, girlfriend type dealings. The first time was on our second date, I drove her home and it was a normal kiss. Second two times were the fourth time we went out, it was just two small pecks tho, I think it's because she had a cold.

I just want to ensure she's into me, 'cause I am sure am into her. I think the issue has been that the times we've been out it's been to things where we have such little interaction. Like I said above, two dinners, a movie, and a happy hour where we just sat back and talked shit. I just spoke to her and was looking to set up another meeting. "Thursday could work, I'm going out with my friend Friday for her birthday, maybe you can stop by. I would prefer if we met up Saturday, I will be well rested." I am debating whether or not to go on Friday night. I see it as an opportunity to impress her friends. If she mentions it again I think I will go, I'm a tall good looking guy, why the hell not.

Saturday I was thinking of taking her roller skating. We pretty much have to hold on to each other, should be good, yes?
Click to expand...

You seem to have it. Don't jump at the Friday thing, but if she urges try and show up, but don't overstay your welcome.

Make moves. Skating could work. Unless she's a better skater than you.
 
Magik said:
In regards to meeting people, why not look for events, gatherings etc. in your city that are aligned with your interests? You can't seriously tell me that there isn't a single event, gathering. etc. that deals with something your interested in. Look around.

Like I have and many others have said before, you need to deal with your inner-self first before you stand a chance with women.
Click to expand...
Seeking events and such. Unfortunately, I really don't have any interests outside of videogames, try as I pretend to think otherwise, it just isn't so. And the one event that had to do with videogames that I did attend (GDC) I couldn't get anything out of that.

But I think now, I'm reaching a breaking point. I am feeling more and more like nothing and am starting to truly break down physically (see the fitness thread and my complete failure there) and mentally to the point where it's obvious to everyone around me. So, it is likely I really will have to seek out professional help, barring any divine intervention or similar thing.

I just hope it doesn't end up as the last time which changed nothing, except for spending lots of money on a shrink who prescribed me meds that turned me into a robot with no care in the world about myself or anyone else (and being truly content with that).
 
Dipper145 said:
I don't know what to do, it's frustrating and I don't know what she wants. I'm going through my own issues of depression and anxiety. I don't think I can have a relationship with someone who has these weird mood swings because they make me feel like shit.

Any advice?
please be nice?
Click to expand...

I don't know your entire history with this girl (ie how long have you guys been together?), but if the relationship makes you feel like shit especially when you're going through your own issues with depression and anxiety, why stay together?

I mean, whats the point of keeping this relationship if you feel like shit at the end of the day? Aren't you supposed to be enjoying each others company rather than making each other feel terrible?
 
Combine: Social workers, at least the ones that have treated me, do not have the power to prescribe drugs. I wish you lived out here. I know a great one that I see every Friday.

Unrelated note: I'm noticing a lot of girls around me getting out or have already gotten out of a "serious relationships." Serious relationships seem to indicate that they like to flirt, send mixed signals, and be flaky. I've dated two girls, back to back, who suffered from this. In fact, I had to cut off myself from one girl who was crying over the phone today because I dated another woman after she "not ready for another relationship" after making out with me in a car all night. Anyone else getting this shit?
 
Wellington said:
"Thursday could work, I'm going out with my friend Friday for her birthday, maybe you can stop by. I would prefer if we met up Saturday, I will be well rested." I am debating whether or not to go on Friday night. I see it as an opportunity to impress her friends. If she mentions it again I think I will go, I'm a tall good looking guy, why the hell not.

Saturday I was thinking of taking her roller skating. We pretty much have to hold on to each other, should be good, yes?
Click to expand...
Skip Friday, let her have a night out with her girls, go nuts, and let her fill you in on Saturday. If you can't resist, call or text her with a "wish your friend a happy birthday for me! Hope you're all having a blast". Take her hint about preferring Saturday (as she'll be well-rested, which means she'll have energy to spend on you).

If you want to go blading, arrange it so that you can grab some coffee and give each other massages afterwards.

A month in, get to second base already. If that doesn't work, there's no spark.
 
Dipper145 said:
So there's this girl I'm seeing who asked me out a couple times before I said yes. Anyway I had heard she really liked
loved
me, but she barely knew me so it's probably not true.

Anyway, some days she seems like she's really into me and we text each other a lot and she seems happy and normal. Other days she acts really distant and replies to any of my texts with like 1 word answers. It seems to be getting worse.

One night, she'll want me to sleep over at her place, and then the next day will cancel our plans and do nothing.

I don't know what to do, it's frustrating and I don't know what she wants. I'm going through my own issues of depression and anxiety. I don't think I can have a relationship with someone who has these weird mood swings because they make me feel like shit.

Any advice?
please be nice?
Click to expand...
She's doing the hot/cold thing because she's not sure that she should be jumping your bones this quickly and/or doesn't think you're both on the same page and/or isn't sure of what she wants.

Converting crush to date is a difficult task, takes time, bla bla bla.

Let her know the hot/cold thing isn't cool, as it's not fair and is sending you mixed signals. Let her know what your intentions are "I like you and would like to keep seeing you" or whatever, no need to get the tissue box, then leave the ball in her court. You've told her how you feel and at that point, she has to make the next move.

She will either make the move, or she won't. Either way, you save your energy for more productive tasks. Hint, hint.
 
Dipper145 said:
So there's this girl I'm seeing who asked me out a couple times before I said yes. Anyway I had heard she really liked
loved
me, but she barely knew me so it's probably not true.
Click to expand...
Cancel plans on her. If she stops asking you to do things, you know for sure. Time to play a little hard to get. Start working on other potentials if you're into that at the moment.
 
I didn't realize how much I liked this girl. It's been a couple weeks since she cut it off (and we only dated for a few weeks) and I'm still not over it...
 
whitehawk said:
I didn't realize how much I liked this girl. It's been a couple weeks since she cut it off (and we only dated for a few weeks) and I'm still not over it...
Click to expand...
You need to start dating more. A few relationships under your belt and you'll realise things aren't worth getting worried over.

I just broke things off with my (favourite, thus far) GF of six months because she gets in the way of my Engineering studies. It sucks but I'm over it already, pretty much.

If it helps, talk about yourself in the third person and talk shit about yourself.

Example; "Guess what? Soultron broke up with his GF of six months and he's still moping 2 weeks after!"

"Wow. What a bitch."

Works for me.
 
Poimandres said:
Oh, here's one:

Girl I'm just freshly getting it on with, it's her birthday this weekend. Suggestions for a gift?
Click to expand...
Just take her somewhere. No gifts.

Take her some place for dinner, perhaps.
 
whitehawk said:
I didn't realize how much I liked this girl. It's been a couple weeks since she cut it off (and we only dated for a few weeks) and I'm still not over it...
Click to expand...
Throw pebbles at her window during a rainy night. While you wait soaking wet under the moonlight. It works in movies.
 
whitehawk said:
I didn't realize how much I liked this girl. It's been a couple weeks since she cut it off (and we only dated for a few weeks) and I'm still not over it...
Click to expand...

You are unaware of your talent and your position in this world as a human being. To be bound to one person, especially one who does not return the feeling, is to shift to your vision from the horizon to a brick wall.
 
I know, it doesn't make any sense. I'm not crying at night or anything, just realizing I really like her, and am bummed it didn't work out.

I have one more inquiry though. I'm a little ticked at my friend, would you say I'm justified? Basically:

- Went out with this girl
- Broke it off with me, find out because she went for my friend
- She tells me that she wish she hadn't broke up with me
- Friend eventually breaks up with her, over skype
- At this party over the weekend he's drunk and he says a lot of stuff.
- That he slept with her the day before he broke up with her, and he said a bunch of mean stuff about her

So I'm just thinking, you took this girl away from me, fucked her dumped her, treated her badly and.. yeah. I'm not extremely mad or anything, just that I did like this girl and I'm a little upset he messed it up and then treated her badly. yeah. I'm not gonna start anything with him, he's usually a cool guy, just venting a little i guess.
 
Poimandres said:
Oh, here's one:

Girl I'm just freshly getting it on with, it's her birthday this weekend. Suggestions for a gift?
Click to expand...

timberlake-samberg-dick-box-pepsi.jpg
 
Combine said:
Seeking events and such. Unfortunately, I really don't have any interests outside of videogames, try as I pretend to think otherwise, it just isn't so. And the one event that had to do with videogames that I did attend (GDC) I couldn't get anything out of that.
Click to expand...

I hate to say this, but you have to find more interests. Go running, biking, pay attention to sports, get a pet, get into politics, religion, philosophy, yoga, something other than video games. To be fair, I'd say the same to someone who's only pastime was sports. It helps to diversify no matter what sort of person you are. Back in high school I only really got into video games, and as a result I didn't have all that much to talk to people outside of my little circle of friends about. Senior year was a kick in the nuts, and I started forcing myself to expand what I was interested in. I started running, paying more attention to international events, reading more philosophy, doing more with sports than watch the occasional game, and suddenly I had things I could talk to people about. You've got to think about it in those terms; right now, you don't have all that much material to spur a conversation with the average person, and by definition meeting someone involves having conversations.
 
whitehawk said:
I know, it doesn't make any sense.

I have one more inquiry though. I'm a little ticked at my friend, would you say I'm justified? Basically:

- Went out with this girl
- Broke it off with me, find out because she went for my friend
- She tells me that she wish she hadn't broke up with me
- Friend eventually breaks up with over, over skype
- At this party over the weekend he's drunk and he says a lot of stuff.
- He slept with her the day before he broke up with her, and he said a bunch of mean stuff about her

So I'm just thinking, you took this girl away from me, fucked her dumped her, treated her badly and.. yeah. I'm not extremely mad or anything, just that I did like this girl and I'm a little upset he messed it up and then treated her badly. yeah. I'm not gonna start anything with him, he's usually a cool guy, just venting a little i guess.
Click to expand...

grow some balls and hit the guy, then never speak to him again.
 
MCX said:
Unless it's a graduate school/professional school ring or a Super Bowl ring, I'd advise against this unless you want to be seen as an Ed Hardy-esque douche.
Unless you are one, then by all means, go for it. Disclaimer: 'you' in a general sense.
Click to expand...

Disagreed 100% with LOTS of anecdotal experience to back it up, every woman I've dated in the last few months is a professional with a masters degree or PhD and every single one has complimented my ring and I've had women start conversations with me based on it.

I'm talking something like this:

http://www.buy.com/prod/titanium-8m...q/listingid/42877235/loc/64934/211105897.html

Not this:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B002A9JXGQ/?tag=neogaf0e-20

School rings seem poserish and juvenile to me.

A good ring also draws attention to the fact that you are single, i.e. the shiny object on your hand is on the right hand middle finger, not left hand ring finger. Yeah, I know some women like married guys, but I don't let them touch my dick.
 
Poimandres said:
I've been hanging out with her for a month or two, but things only really boiled over the weekend that just past. Don't even know if we're going out or not. So yeah... very fresh.
Click to expand...
Again, don't get her a gift. Take her out some place, but just let her know; "Hey, I was wondering if I could treat you to a birthday dinner/movie/sex/whatever?"

You're not officially an item yet, so steer clear of the material gifts just yet.
 
soultron said:
Again, don't get her a gift. Take her out some place, but just let her know; "Hey, I was wondering if I could treat you to a birthday dinner/movie/sex/whatever?"

You're not officially an item yet, so steer clear of the material gifts just yet.
Click to expand...

Already going with her for a birthday dinner (with other friends), but I'll take her out some other night I think.

Her other friends will most certainly be getting her gifts though, so I feel like I should give her a little something at least!
 
soultron said:
Again, don't get her a gift. Take her out some place, but just let her know; "Hey, I was wondering if I could treat you to a birthday dinner/movie/sex/whatever?"

You're not officially an item yet, so steer clear of the material gifts just yet.
Click to expand...

this.

A guy at my work spent £300 on Christmas gifts for his GF of a few weeks. needless to say, she never did the same and they were over after an further two months. he was actually in the process paying for a holiday for the two of them.
 
Kowak said:
this.

A guy at my work spent £300 on Christmas gifts for his GF of a few weeks. needless to say, she never did the same and they were over after an further two months. he was actually in the process paying for a holiday for the two of them.
Click to expand...
Yeah, you don't know how many girls come to my work and cash in their jewelry. 90% of them say this money was the best thing to come out of that relationship.
 
kaskade said:
Yeah, you don't know how many girls come to my work and cash in their jewelry. 90% of them say this money was the best thing to come out of that relationship.
Click to expand...

The most a guy should be spending within the first 3-5 months is £30-50. That way you cant get burned too badly. jewelry is never a good idea, its one of those things that just say "I am am willing to be taken for a ride". My friend spent half the money on a watch and I thought "you fool" and told him as much.
 
Poimandres said:
Jeez, now I'm definitely not getting her anything substantial :lol

Think I might get her a CD and promise her a dinner out.
Click to expand...

Don't buy her legit gifts unless your relationship is serious. Don't get her something unless it smells good and goes in a vase -- that or something that can be eaten.
 
Kowak said:
The most a guy should be spending within the first 3-5 months is £30-50. That way you cant get burned too badly. jewelry is never a good idea, its one of those things that just say "I am am willing to be taken for a ride". My friend spent half the money on a watch and I thought "you fool" and told him as much.
Click to expand...
Agreed. I think something thoughtful would be much better. Jewelry to me is a, I just went to the store and got you this since I didn't know what else to get, kind of gift. If you've been going out for a while and it's her birthday or Christmas or something then I think it's better there.
 
whitehawk said:
I didn't realize how much I liked this girl. It's been a couple weeks since she cut it off (and we only dated for a few weeks) and I'm still not over it...
Click to expand...

I'm in a similar situation... Kind of. My ex ended it in a really shitty immature way, and has been completely awful towards me the last few days. The best advice that i've been given is to ignore her, but when I have an opportunity, be a dick (In all honesty, I know I won't do this, because I like to think I'm a better person than that. but thinking about it helps alot)

If she handled the break up nicely, then I have nothing. Best of luck though
 
Combine said:
Unfortunately, I really don't have any interests outside of videogames, try as I pretend to think otherwise, it just isn't so. And the one event that had to do with videogames that I did attend (GDC) I couldn't get anything out of that.
Click to expand...

Yeah, as others have said it's probably time to expand your interests. I completely understand that sometimes you get in a rut and feel like there's nothing else out there for you -- but there's gotta be something you'd like to try doing or learning more about. There's movies, books, TV, etc.....as a direct result of GAF I've been looking into both skydiving and fencing.

If you really can't find anything beyond videogames, then I guess try looking into anime and game clubs. But it'd really behoove you to go beyond geeky hobbies.
 
All right, this is the first time I've ever asked anyone for advice about girls, in real life or online. So be gentle. I realize I've been an idiot so far at this point so abusing me won't make it any better. Unless you use some funny GIFs on me, I'll laugh with those. :lol

I've had this girl chasing me for about a month now, give or take. (Red flag #1) I've gone out with her a few times and quite frankly I think she's really hot and she seems to have things together in her life. I'm going to mention one other thing at the end but I'm saving it for a reason. She had been dropping some pretty serious hints from around the 2nd or 3rd date that she was pretty seriously interested in me, and if I were a smarter man I would have just said "Fuck it" and kissed her a few times by now. (Red flag #2) Anyways, the last time I was with her, I'm thinking she was getting a little impatient with me not apparently being in a hurry to be physical with her, and well, honestly I should have, but oh well. What's done is done. Or, not done, amirite? :lol

So I think I might have pissed her off a bit and now she's been ignoring me for the last 2 weeks. I'm trying to figure out what to do here, it's clear at this point that I'm doing it wrong and I'm not sure what to do going forward. We were supposed to do something tonight but she's been ignoring my texts and I don't know if I should just call her and ask her what's going on or what.

Okay, the thing I was saving until the end. She has a son. He's just a few years old.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to nip off and dunk my head in cold water. If I'm lucky, by the time I'm back I'll have gotten a GIF of Chuck Norris roundhouse kicking me in the face as a reply. :lol
 
soultron said:
Don't buy her legit gifts unless your relationship is serious. Don't get her something unless it smells good and goes in a vase -- that or something that can be eaten.
Click to expand...

I think I might have tripped myself up here though. I asked her if there was something specific she wanted for her birthday, and she said she likes surprises if I feel in the gift buying mood.

So... if I turn up with nothing.... yeah, might not look too good now.
 
Poimandres said:
I think I might have tripped myself up here though. I asked her if there was something specific she wanted for her birthday, and she said she likes surprises if I feel in the gift buying mood.

So... if I turn up with nothing.... yeah, might not look too good now.
Click to expand...

Well if you feel you must get her something, get her something thoughtful and inexpensive. Get her something based on her interests. It could be something clever or funny or based on an inside joke you guys have. Again, inexpensive! It'll show that you can surprise her and make her happy without dropping an exorbitant amount of cash.
 
disillusion386 said:
Well if you feel you must get her something, get her something thoughtful and inexpensive. Get her something based on her interests. It could be something clever or funny or based on an inside joke you guys have. Again, inexpensive! It'll show that you can surprise her and make her happy without dropping an exorbitant amount of cash.
Click to expand...

This
 
Poimandres said:
I think I might have tripped myself up here though. I asked her if there was something specific she wanted for her birthday, and she said she likes surprises if I feel in the gift buying mood.

So... if I turn up with nothing.... yeah, might not look too good now.
Click to expand...
A CD might be good then, since it's under $20.
 
Unknown Soldier said:
All right, this is the first time I've ever asked anyone for advice about girls, in real life or online. So be gentle. I realize I've been an idiot so far at this point so abusing me won't make it any better. Unless you use some funny GIFs on me, I'll laugh with those. :lol

I've had this girl chasing me for about a month now, give or take. (Red flag #1) I've gone out with her a few times and quite frankly I think she's really hot and she seems to have things together in her life. I'm going to mention one other thing at the end but I'm saving it for a reason. She had been dropping some pretty serious hints from around the 2nd or 3rd date that she was pretty seriously interested in me, and if I were a smarter man I would have just said "Fuck it" and kissed her a few times by now. (Red flag #2) Anyways, the last time I was with her, I'm thinking she was getting a little impatient with me not apparently being in a hurry to be physical with her, and well, honestly I should have, but oh well. What's done is done. Or, not done, amirite? :lol

So I think I might have pissed her off a bit and now she's been ignoring me for the last 2 weeks. I'm trying to figure out what to do here, it's clear at this point that I'm doing it wrong and I'm not sure what to do going forward. We were supposed to do something tonight but she's been ignoring my texts and I don't know if I should just call her and ask her what's going on or what.

Okay, the thing I was saving until the end. She has a son. He's just a few years old.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to nip off and dunk my head in cold water. If I'm lucky, by the time I'm back I'll have gotten a GIF of Chuck Norris roundhouse kicking me in the face as a reply. :lol
Click to expand...


if she has a kid and she was doing all the moves then you just passed up guaranteed sex.
 
disillusion386 said:
Well if you feel you must get her something, get her something thoughtful and inexpensive. Get her something based on her interests. It could be something clever or funny or based on an inside joke you guys have. Again, inexpensive! It'll show that you can surprise her and make her happy without dropping an exorbitant amount of cash.
Click to expand...

Perfect advice. Now I just need to think of something clever.... shit!
 
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