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[Xun]

Spoke to her tonight. She knows my name now!

I've still got to ask her out, but it really honestly is easy speaking to chicks when drunk.

I'm slowly getting there.

Just to flesh it out a bit.

Man, I was on fire last night in terms of overcoming confidence. Alcohol really did help out a great deal. I introduced myself to a few people, though they'll just forget me in the alcohol haze from the night (it was free booze). I am however still having trouble asking anyone out, such as the case with the girl, but the fact I even said "I didn't actually introduce myself, I'm Tom btw" shocked me. Quite a while back I would've just have left it, so I am honestly making progress.

I aim to try and speak to her again at the party next week, hopefully asking her out or some shit. I also managed to find out she's a regular at one of my favourite pubs, so I'll probably see her around.

Baby steps! And it's working, I've just got to take things further the more confident I become of myself. It also helped when the night started with getting a few smiles from women, pathetic to mention I know but whatever!

 

[Critical Jeff]

So I've been fucking this girl for about 2 weeks now. We met a few months ago and never really told each other that we're exclusive. The other night she goes out drinking and ends up drunk texting me. "I am really in 'like' with you." and later around 5am she texts, "I just made a horrible mistake, I hate myself now." Well today, I text her because I'm worried that she might have forgot to take her birth control pills and didn't tell me or something. (shoulda been a sign from the beginning) Yet, she tells me that she slept with another guy that night she was drunk texting me. Now, we were never we're going out officially, but I figure if you're absolutely "in like" with someone, that you'll not fuck someone else randomly when you're drunk. I dunno if I can trust this girl to not cheat on me if we ever do become official. advice?

 

[Squall ASF]

So I've been fucking this girl for about 2 weeks now. We met a few months ago and never really told each other that we're exclusive. The other night she goes out drinking and ends up drunk texting me. "I am really in 'like' with you." and later around 5am she texts, "I just made a horrible mistake, I hate myself now." Well today, I text her because I'm worried that she might have forgot to take her birth control pills and didn't tell me or something. (shoulda been a sign from the beginning) Yet, she tells me that she slept with another guy that night she was drunk texting me. Now, we were never we're going out officially, but I figure if you're absolutely "in like" with someone, that you'll not fuck someone else randomly when you're drunk. I dunno if I can trust this girl to not cheat on me if we ever do become official. advice?

Wait, your contemplating having a serious relationship with a fuck buddy? Do you have more of a relationship than that currently?

 

[Solideliquid]

Do you even have to ask?

 

[Squall ASF]

Do you even have to ask?

Not sure if you're referring to me or him.

 

[Critical Jeff]

Wait, your contemplating having a serious relationship with a fuck buddy? Do you have more of a relationship than that currently?

I mean, she wasn't ever labeled a fuck buddy. She just wanted sex and I complied. Thats about all we do next to watch movies.

 

[Squall ASF]

I mean, she wasn't ever labeled a fuck buddy. She just wanted sex and I complied. Thats about all we do next to watch movies.

So if you are honest with yourself, how do you really view her? Are you growing deeper feelings for her through sex? Do you really like her personality? If you're only watching movies and banging, doesn't sound like you have much of a well rounded relationship. If you think you do have some feelings for her and want to explore them, try doing other activites together besides movies and see what develops from there. Between how limited your activities are together and that you haven't labled your relationship status, she doesn't owe you anything at this point. Though I'd be concerned about regularly tapping a girl that is baging random dudes on drunk nights. She may be waiting for you to try to expand the relationship further and take it on another level. You need to figure what you want from her.

Edit: In terms of her cheating on you, I don't think it's fair to judge that just yet when nothing is official. Based off your limited description, sounds like your relationship is pretty damn casual. If you take it to the next level and your relationship becomes official, hopefully she would act accordingly.

 

[Critical Jeff]

So if you are honest with yourself, how do you really view her? Are you growing deeper feelings for her through sex? Do you really like her personality? If you're only watching movies and banging, doesn't sound like you have much of a well rounded relationship. If you think you do have some feelings for her and want to explore them, try doing other activites together besides movies and see what develops from there. Between how limited your activities are together and that you haven't labled your relationship status, she doesn't owe you anything at this point. Though I'd be concerned about regularly tapping a girl that is baging random dudes on drunk nights. She may be waiting for you to try to expand the relationship further and take it on another level. You need to figure what you want from her.

Honestly, I really feel like I'm only wanting to see her because we'll prolly end up having sex. I don't even want to have to deal with a relationship, but the sex is nice.

 

[Squall ASF]

Honestly, I really feel like I'm only wanting to see her because we'll prolly end up having sex. I don't even want to have to deal with a relationship, but the sex is nice.

....Sounds like a fuck buddy to me haha In that case, you need to sit down and have that conversation. Fuck buddy relationships need a few ground rules and it's up to the two of you on what you each find important. I had a girl before that wanted one and one of her rules is you don't sleep with anyone else. If we're going to be regularly sleeping together, she doesn't want me going around with the potential of brining something back to her. So if her being with other guys bother you, that's something you bring up. If this isn't what she wants, you can't expect her to keep such a casual relationship with you and not pursue anything else. I'll warn you right now, ninety something percent of the time, one person wants more at some point. She may be there already.

 

[ErasureAcer]

So NeoGAF question time...

I've been inside a woman before, twice actually, but neither time did I get off. The first time she stopped me after 2 minutes or so due to the fact I didn't have a condom(it was fucking great although really different from masturbation) and the second time I had been awake all night the night before and despite my best efforts wasn't really in the mood...so I stopped it.

So am I a Virgin or not cuz I didn't ejaculate or having been inside can a claim non-virgin status?

 

[Bam Bam Baklava]

So NeoGAF question time...

I've been inside a woman before, twice actually, but neither time did I get off. The first time she stopped me after 2 minutes or so due to the fact I didn't have a condom(it was fucking great although really different from masturbation) and the second time I had been awake all night the night before and despite my best efforts wasn't really in the mood...so I stopped it.

So am I a Virgin or not cuz I didn't ejaculate or having been inside can a claim non-virgin status?

Achieving penetration is all it takes if you ask me.

 

[Squall ASF]

So NeoGAF question time...

I've been inside a woman before, twice actually, but neither time did I get off. The first time she stopped me after 2 minutes or so due to the fact I didn't have a condom(it was fucking great although really different from masturbation) and the second time I had been awake all night the night before and despite my best efforts wasn't really in the mood...so I stopped it.

So am I a Virgin or not cuz I didn't ejaculate or having been inside can a claim non-virgin status?

You're not a virgin. The definition is along the lines of penetrating an orifice. Some will argue only the vag, some include oral. Personally, I only count vag.

 

[jooey]

So NeoGAF question time...

I've been inside a woman before, twice actually, but neither time did I get off. The first time she stopped me after 2 minutes or so due to the fact I didn't have a condom(it was fucking great although really different from masturbation) and the second time I had been awake all night the night before and despite my best efforts wasn't really in the mood...so I stopped it.

So am I a Virgin or not cuz I didn't ejaculate or having been inside can a claim non-virgin status?

just in case anyone thought this thread might be getting back to its original topic.

 

[ErasureAcer]

just in case anyone thought this thread might be getting back to its original topic.

yeah, I jumped the tracks with my question. Should have hunted down the virgin thread. :lol

 

[Aurora]

I almost threw up reading those texts.

 

[Pyke Presco]

Just want to pipe in for Critical Jeff here:

I was seeing this girl for about 3-4 months, I posted about her a couple pages back. It was a friends with benefits arrangement, "no strings attached". Needless to say, there are always strings. I started to really get interested in her, and we would basically act as if we were dating:dinner, movies, hanging out, spending the night, going out to get-togethers with some friends and very clearly being together...BUT, we were not dating and we were not exclusive.

I asked her out, she said no, and now we see each other very seldomly, maybe a couple hours every two weeks or so, and just as friends now. If you want things to be exclusive with her, ask her out. She will make her intentions very clear, and then you can either continue with things well informed of where you actually stand with her, or you can bail out and move on to someone who is looking for the same things as you are. There's no point dragging your ass chasing a one-sided relationship, which is the advice I was given by GAF (Bladeworker, I believe?), and they were absolutely right.

You have to do what is right for you mentally and emotionally. If you are getting upset by your fuck-buddy's actions when she isn't with you, then you need to reevaluate where exactly things stand between the two of you, and if you guys are seeing eye-to-eye. Best of luck with however it works out.

 

[Max@GC]

You are on the right track. Be yourself, have confidence in who you are and you will be fine. Not knocking anyone's hustle, but people who have to come up with total bullshit seem not to be looking for something that serious. Nothing wrong with that at all. People want different things in life.

Me and my brother are a great example of that. He is trying to get every piece of ass he can, while I have always tended to have longer lasting relationships. We are seeking totally different experiences. The way that we interact with women are totally different as well. He will lie, cheat, steal for some ass. He will say and do the most corny and ridiculous things to get ass. He will totally transform who he is for ass.

That is his choice, but at the end of the day I am not sure how happy he is. I mean, I think that it tells me that he thinks that who he really is isn't good enough to attract women. Plus he goes through all that trouble for someone he is talking to for maybe a month or two. Really?

Again, he has his style, I have mine. I never had any problem finding women. Be yourself, but be confident in who you are.

That´s interesting cuz a friend of mine is just like that. When hes in the club in order to get some quick ass he´s sweet talking like crazy but is never really serious or honest about it. Also he´s never himself when he acts like that. He then acts like a calm and soothing father figure who pretends to have seen it all and been through all spitting countless anecdotes filled with 'wisdom' while making a lot of sexual innuendos...the thing is that he is rather sensitive and insecure. But since hes tall and well built like 95% of the girls fall for that scam.

Anyway he once told me that he´s just looking for one night stands because his first gf cheated on him in a really fucked up way and he wants some strange sort of pay back for that. But he also told me that he´s not happy with that since he feels still alone even with all the ass he´s getting.

 

[Formless]

Saw my ex inadvertently today. Talked, shared some laughs surprisingly and we had a good short time, but of course things don't look too bright on the serious front. Knew what to expect but still; feels bad, man.

 

[Max@GC]

This, ladies and gentlemen, is the downfall of the modern man. He has been conditioned into thinking his sexuality is a bad and evil thing. Here this man is afraid of being labeled a rapist even after the woman in the example gave herself willingly to him. Why are you afraid of your dick, Max?

Btw. I thought about your statement again and I think you´re right. It could have something to do with a childhood trauma I had when I was around 9 years old. But I´m not sure if I should talk about it here since it´s really personal...in fact I´ve never talked with anyone about it.

 

[Ultima_5]

This is what I was thinking, I am one who cannot pull off a lie, especially about something that hits so close to home like this does. I mean, when the time actually comes, then it's going to be so so very obvious that I am a virgin that she probably will freak at that point for certain, and then with the lying that will only make things really end up horribly.

I didn't tell my first girlfriend that I was a virgin until after we had sex... If you kind of know what's going on (you should... you have the internet :lol ) then most of the awkwardness will be attributed to it being your first time with that person.

 

[Combine]

Seriously, I'll chip in $100 for a plane ticket so a gaffer can go to wherever Combine is and get him some pussy. Shit I'll even through another $100 in for the prostitute and coke.

Heh, that sort of thing doesn't happen. I think most people here know where I live (at least the general area) and unless there's a complete lack of GAF in this area, there ain't no one who's going to want to help me out, I've learned that from experience, no one would ever bother to help me in person out of the "kindness of their heart" (if such a thing really exists) anyways.

I don't think I'd be wanting a one-night stand or prostitute for my first time either. Certainly not the latter most of all.

I didn't tell my first girlfriend that I was a virgin until after we had sex... If you kind of know what's going on (you should... you have the internet :lol ) then most of the awkwardness will be attributed to it being your first time with that person.

How old were you and did she not freak out afterward?

 

[Antagon]

Just got back from another Salsa party. Talked/danced with a couple of girls but I keep having trouble to keep a good conversation going, let alone flirting. With most of the girls it's also quite clear from their body language while dancing that they're not interested in me at all (mainly evading eye contact). I feel like theres some pressure on me to try and score at these parties that makes it harder. One plus is that I've gotten a lot more confident about my dancing lately, which has made it pretty easy for me to step up to a random girl and ask her if she wants to dance.

Right now I don't really have a way to meet new women outside of parties (theres almost no girls at my work and the only girl in my salsa class that I'm interested in already has a boyfriend), so I need to find some way to get a bit more relaxed when I'm talking to girls. Anyone got any tips?

 

[Boogie]

Maybe you're not that good at lying :lol. If someone asks just say "we were together for a year and it didn't work out." if they ask why say, "I just didn't feel the passion with her. I'm a real romantic guy and love to give my all to the ladies, I just couldn't get that with her. I just want someone to love......"

Girls eat that bullshit up. Matter fact yesterday I was using some cheesy lines on a chick I met at a club last week and she was eating that bullshit up

You can't get any cornier than that, but they love it for some strange reason....

:lol

only you brothas can get away with some of those lines. Us pasty white boys can't really pull off calling a chick "sugar"

aside: Yeah, any woman who has a sig for her fucking text messages would be a write off, I don't care how hot she is. There's a certain level of fucking-retarded that I just couldn't bring myself to sleep with. :lol

 

[Mecha_Infantry]

I don't even wanna ask in this thread anymore...it seems nothing is working out for me at the moment..

Bah

Girls..

New possible girl on the horizon, but she is friends with a girl I tried to get with, but wasn't feeling me, and that girl recommended to me that she'd be interested in me..and she is infact quite smoking..

Only thing is, me and the girl who was going to hook me up with the girl, we had a fall out...and now it seems as if she is cock blocking me. The friend is over from US for a week and leaves on Wednesday...I haven't met her since, but I sent her a msg on FB and she said we should meet up on the weekend..

Ummmmm

I shouldn't even mention my John Terry situation

 

[Magik]

Heh, that sort of thing doesn't happen. I think most people here know where I live (at least the general area) and unless there's a complete lack of GAF in this area, there ain't no one who's going to want to help me out, I've learned that from experience, no one would ever bother to help me in person out of the "kindness of their heart" (if such a thing really exists) anyways.

The fuck?

 

[Combine]

The fuck?

What's hard to understand? When it comes to in-person (not online) situations, I've learned time and time again that no one is going to come to my aid to give help or anything of the sort in regards to social problems like the ones I suffer from, unless of course I pay them exorbitant prices (therapists/shrinks).

I'm not throwing aside all the advice and assistance from this and other threads online. I'm talking in real-world scenarios here, which is what bdizzle brought up. If this is not a satisfactory answer, feel free to PM me with further questions. I always respond to PM's.

Still haven't found a therapist yet either FYI for those that care, they're so damn expensive, last one was asking for nearly $200 an hour.

 

[Magik]

What's hard to understand? When it comes to in-person (not online) situations, I've learned time and time again that no one is going to come to my aid to give help or anything of the sort in regards to social problems like the ones I suffer from, unless of course I pay them exorbitant prices (therapists/shrinks).

I'm not throwing aside all the advice and assistance from this and other threads online. I'm talking in real-world scenarios here, which is what bdizzle brought up. If this is not a satisfactory answer, feel free to PM me with further questions. I always respond to PM's.

Still haven't found a therapist yet either FYI for those that care, they're so damn expensive, last one was asking for nearly $200 an hour.

What I find hard to understand is your constant need to bring yourself down at every moment possible. You're only doing yourself harm. Its almost as if you find some sort of enjoyment out of it as if you met your daily quota for the day.

Nobody has helped you out in the past because you haven't developed any meaningful friendships/relationships, which is why everybody in this thread has told you that you needed to work on yourself first before anything else. You got to break those chains that are holding you down so that as you move forward in life with a clearer mindset you start to attract those meaningful friendships/relationships.

 

[Combine]

What I find hard to understand is your constant need to bring yourself down at every moment possible. You're only doing yourself harm. Its almost as if you find some sort of enjoyment out of it as if you met your daily quota for the day.

It's odd, since I find it strange that you do not understand. You said it yourself after all, I've lived for this long and have never developed any meaningful relationships in life, still do not even know what a proper definition of a "friend" really is either, so I do not know if I ever really had one (I guess if I was more certain than I'd know). That coupled with past abuses and current failures is more than enough for me to look at myself and be "disheartened" with what I am. Because I cannot imagine someone such as I being thought of with any kind words with all I've done, or not done. As I've probably said before, it's hard to think of myself and think of things that would make anyone proud or uplifted.

 

[AFreak]

My girl is really pissing me off right now. It's been 3 weeks since she's let me touch her down there and last night we drank together, went back to my apartment, and she fell asleep. When she woke up she said she had to go home.

I'm getting really fed up, so I'm giving her an ultimatum today: either come back to my apartment today when you wake up, or break up with me.

I've been way too patient about this thing, and I can't stand it anymore. I'm serious about her, and that kind of thing comes with the territory.

 

[Mr.City]

So this girl blew me off a few days ago and never called me back. I decided to block her on Facebook today. I have a shitty phone and it turns out she did call me back to let me know stuff had come up. This is going to be interesting.

 

[industrian]

My girl is really pissing me off right now. It's been 3 weeks since she's let me touch her down there and last night we drank together, went back to my apartment, and she fell asleep. When she woke up she said she had to go home.

I'm getting really fed up, so I'm giving her an ultimatum today: either come back to my apartment today when you wake up, or break up with me.

I've been way too patient about this thing, and I can't stand it anymore. I'm serious about her, and that kind of thing comes with the territory.

This will be interesting.

 

[thespot84]

So this girl blew me off a few days ago and never called me back. I decided to block her on Facebook today. I have a shitty phone and it turns out she did call me back to let me know stuff had come up. This is going to be interesting.

this. Technology has fucked me over so many times I'm temped to send letters to girls now. Some people are phone-impaired and some just have shitty service. I once got a 'come over right now' text delivered at 4:30 am while I was sleeping, she sent it at 10pm, FML. It's like playing tennis blindfolded...

Afreak: Just tell her how you feel. It's sounds lame but we men are terrible at it, and so much shit would go more smoothly if we weren't. If you don't actually want her to dump you (it sounds like you don't) then don't even put the option on the table. No need for ultimatums.

 

[Mr.Squirrel]

:lol

only you brothas can get away with some of those lines. Us pasty white boys can't really pull off calling a chick "sugar"

aside: Yeah, any woman who has a sig for her fucking text messages would be a write off, I don't care how hot she is. There's a certain level of fucking-retarded that I just couldn't bring myself to sleep with. :lol

:lol you can do it man, you just gotta believe in yourself! I learned a long time ago that as long as you do something with authority, the majority of people will fall in line and obey.

 

[NZer]

Ok, this may or may not give hope to the older virgins who posted in these past couple of pages: I have been with 3 girls in my time, each a few times, and tbh I've learned almost nothing about sex. As in, how to have/give good sex. I know all the GAF non-virgins seem to be, or at least talk like, sex gods, but fuck if I know what I'm doing. You mentioned the scenario of a pretty girl offering herself to me: I wouldn't know where to begin. (But, hell, I'd at least give it a go!) It's embarrassing, and in my mind it is all tied up with my inability to dance or really be overtly or physically... romantic/sexual. (My charm, I suppose, is that I can get a girl to laugh. Physical comedy comes naturally to me, as does conversation with girls, but not this stuff.) So - and this is the part that's supposed to give hope - I'm sure that you, even if it's your first time, won't be distinguishably more awkward than me as I am now. And I can't be the only one in my position. Heaps of guys are awkward, goofy, whatever, and getting laid a few times with other people (who also may not know what they're doing) won't magically change you into a perceptibly different person. Or lover. It definitely WILL for SOME, I understand, but surely not everyone. And don't see it as some catch-22, where you need experience to get laid, but only get experience by getting laid. This isn't entirely true. It's not the not having had sex part that's holding you back, it's the baggage you're carrying around from worrying about not having had sex.

It's the making your virginity explicitly clear before the fact. It's telling them these things like you're at a confessional. It's the obvious fear in your eyes that she is now judging you as a freak. It's the lack of self-belief. IF you can get to the sex stage, and it's bad because of inexperience, trust me that you can laugh it off afterwards.

(By the by - this time to GAF sex gods - how DO you get better at sex? Having had a fair few goes, don't tell me it's just experience, coz then I'm fucked.)

 

[Shouta]

I almost threw up reading those texts.

Yeah, seriously. I'll slam my head into a wall if I ever find myself texting like that.

 

[Puddles]

People say that experience is the main thing, but I don't think that's the case. You will get better at sex as you do it more, but you don't have to completely suck at it when you start.

I wasn't having sex as frequently as some of my friends during my early years, but I was able to catch up to the point where girls pretty much universally tell me that I'm one of the best, if not the best, that they've ever been with. It helps that I'm packing decent heat, but knowing how to use it is really the main thing.


Good sex is all about getting a good feel for your partner. You need to pay attention to things like her breathing and her subtle reactions to what you're doing.

A lot of girls can't orgasm through regular intercourse, so in many cases you should manually and orally get her to orgasm before you stick it in. You'll also want to turn her on with good foreplay. There are a lot of factors, but I'll give you some general advice:

While you're making out, you should be touching her all over her body, but with a sense of purpose, not just randomly. Almost every girl likes it if you kiss her neck, and most girls like it if you nibble slightly on their ears. If she lets you get to the breasts, usually that's a good sign that she's willing to let you go all the way, although it's not guaranteed. If the shirt comes off, you're in. Licking around the nipples and over the nipples themselves is almost always a good thing. Don't be too rough with her breasts, but don't have a limp grip either. Once you've licked her nipples and gotten them moist you can use your fingers to play in circles around the areola - this has always been a big hit when I've done it. If her nipples get really erect, that's a great sign.

Eventually, you're going to want to be spending a lot of your time on the inner thighs. This is a big turn on for most girls. Start out a few inches above the knees and work your way up. You can use a firmer touch here than you would for the breasts.

Once you get into the panties, start out slowly and softly. Some girls like it rough, but you don't start with that. The clit is very sensitive. Don't even go for the clit until you've turned her on sufficiently. Start by rubbing around the outer lips. One good technique is to assign your middle finger to the clit and your index and ring fingers to each labia and rub up and down softly and slowly, but keeping the middle finger elevated so you don't actually touch the clit during this part. You want to get her nice and wet. I've found that most girls don't mind at all if you lick your fingers and use that moisture to expedite the process.

When you get to the clit, you have to pay attention to her breathing and reactions more than ever. She will let you know how hard and fast she wants it without saying anything if you know what to pay attention to, but if you don't, don't be afraid to ask her how she wants it. Keep in mind that what she wants will probably change quite a bit as this progresses - you don't always fap with exactly the same rhythm and motion for the entire time, do you? Usually, by the end, she'll want it pretty hard and fast. But again, start out gently. Rub around the clit first before you start rubbing directly on it.

The same advice applies for oral, except with your tongue in place of your fingers.

Once you're inside of her, having actual intercourse, the main issues are lasting long enough and not being too rough. If you're packing good heat, you don't want to go too hard too soon - you'll get her pretty tender. If you're average to below average size, I guess it doesn't matter as much. Make sure she's properly wet before you try to enter. It helps to have some lube on hand if she loses wetness, or you can use saliva. If you've already brought her to orgasm before you enter, it's okay if you don't last as long, but you should try to go for 15+ minutes at a MINIMUM. If she's going to orgasm vaginally, it could take anywhere from 20-45 minutes, possibly longer.

The key to lasting longer is controlling your excitement levels. It's best if you've already busted a nut at least once that day, ideally about 4 hours before you're going to do the dirty. You'll probably last longer if you're wearing a condom. It's kind of cheating, but if you're getting too close, you can try to distract yourself a bit, or maybe go slower. One great trick is to switch positions if you find yourself getting close. I can go for hours in doggy-style, but I usually nut pretty quickly in missionary, so if I find myself on the verge, I just flip her over and keep going from there.

A lot of girls like it if you rub their clits with one hand while you're thrusting into them, although this is harder to pull off in some positions. If you can do it, you can get her to orgasm faster. If she's comfortable enough with you, she may rub herself while you're thrusting. Don't be freaked out by this.

SOME girls like it if you put a finger in the butt while in the doggy position. This is probably not a move you bust out on the first date though.

 

[Shaneus]

SOME girls like it if you put a finger in the butt while in the doggy position. This is probably not a move you bust out on the first date though.

I could picture Combine pulling that shit, though

 

[Magik]

It's odd, since I find it strange that you do not understand. You said it yourself after all, I've lived for this long and have never developed any meaningful relationships in life, still do not even know what a proper definition of a "friend" really is either, so I do not know if I ever really had one (I guess if I was more certain than I'd know). That coupled with past abuses and current failures is more than enough for me to look at myself and be "disheartened" with what I am. Because I cannot imagine someone such as I being thought of with any kind words with all I've done, or not done. As I've probably said before, it's hard to think of myself and think of things that would make anyone proud or uplifted.

I understand that you have had a lot of bad experiences in the past and I am sorry that it happened to you. But guess what, you're not the only person who has been abused or had major failures in their life.

Believe it or not, I've had very similar problems you had in the past as well so I am not looking at your situation from the outside and simply throwing random advice to you.

I've been in your shoes before. Got laid off, poor relationships with everybody, low self-esteem etc. What changed for me was taking the time to change myself for the better. It was hard as fuck, heck its still hard, but at least I am at the point where I am optimistic at life rather than being depressed about it.

I guess the only thing I can ask is what are you going to do to change your life? Are you going to continue to let life beat you down or are you going to start to retake control and achieve the life you want and feel you deserve? Go back over this thread, there is a goldmine of great information for you.

That said, I hope everything works out for you.

 

[Ether_Snake]

Fantastic. Why is it that you have difficulty connecting with women over there? I travel to a different country every year and have found that foreign girls are quite enamored with us. Are you not intrested in the locals? Ofcourse you will find girls hanging out with their friends like anywhere else, but you can find women by themselves shopping, walking down the street, or at a public establishment. Waitresses are a great way to go because you already have a legitimate reason to talk to them and you can make small talk while reading their body language to see if you should ask them to hang out after work. They tend to not fake emotions for the sake of looking polite as many girls here do. You can tell if they are into you. There's not even any pressure as to figuring out what to do on a date because your a 'tourist' and the onus is on them to show you around.

The waitress are either men or old women. I don't go to Starbucks really. I just have had very few opportunities to just talk with a girl. If they are tourists with their girl friends, a conversation won't lead to me hanging out with them.

I think my only chances would be with a female solo traveler, which there is almost none of. And sincr I keep moving from one location to another this limits my chances even more because that meand something must happen on a very short term.

If I spent my whole vacations trying to get pussy mayve I'd have gotten some, but otherwise it's not as easy as one would think.

 

[Mr.Squirrel]

Ok, this may or may not give hope to the older virgins who posted in these past couple of pages: I have been with 3 girls in my time, each a few times, and tbh I've learned almost nothing about sex. As in, how to have/give good sex. I know all the GAF non-virgins seem to be, or at least talk like, sex gods, but fuck if I know what I'm doing. You mentioned the scenario of a pretty girl offering herself to me: I wouldn't know where to begin. (But, hell, I'd at least give it a go!) It's embarrassing, and in my mind it is all tied up with my inability to dance or really be overtly or physically... romantic/sexual. (My charm, I suppose, is that I can get a girl to laugh. Physical comedy comes naturally to me, as does conversation with girls, but not this stuff.) So - and this is the part that's supposed to give hope - I'm sure that you, even if it's your first time, won't be distinguishably more awkward than me as I am now. And I can't be the only one in my position. Heaps of guys are awkward, goofy, whatever, and getting laid a few times with other people (who also may not know what they're doing) won't magically change you into a perceptibly different person. Or lover. It definitely WILL for SOME, I understand, but surely not everyone. And don't see it as some catch-22, where you need experience to get laid, but only get experience by getting laid. This isn't entirely true. It's not the not having had sex part that's holding you back, it's the baggage you're carrying around from worrying about not having had sex.

It's the making your virginity explicitly clear before the fact. It's telling them these things like you're at a confessional. It's the obvious fear in your eyes that she is now judging you as a freak. It's the lack of self-belief. IF you can get to the sex stage, and it's bad because of inexperience, trust me that you can laugh it off afterwards.

(By the by - this time to GAF sex gods - how DO you get better at sex? Having had a fair few goes, don't tell me it's just experience, coz then I'm fucked.)

It's experience. Just keep going at it, you'll get better

 

[AFreak]

Ok, ended up not needing an ultimatum. All went well again. we did almost everything, BUT! when I talked her into going all the way again, I had the same damn problem as last time. Ugh, I really need to get over the virgin jitters.

All was fine, i was up, she agreed to it, but she wasn't wet anymore. I did some more oral for her to get it going, then when it came time i was limp as a wet noodle.

Shit is annoying, and I feel terrible about it.

 

[Wanace]

Ok, ended up not needing an ultimatum. All went well again. we did almost everything, BUT! when I talked her into going all the way again, I had the same damn problem as last time. Ugh, I really need to get over the virgin jitters.

All was fine, i was up, she agreed to it, but she wasn't wet anymore. I did some more oral for her to get it going, then when it came time i was limp as a wet noodle.

Shit is annoying, and I feel terrible about it.

What is SHE doing to get YOU excited? Is she rubbing your cock and balls, giving you a BJ, licking your nipples or is she lying there like a fuck doll waiting for you to get inside?

Don't put it all on yourself.

 

[AFreak]

What is SHE doing to get YOU excited? Is she rubbing your cock and balls, giving you a BJ, licking your nipples or is she lying there like a fuck doll waiting for you to get inside?

Don't put it all on yourself.

Well, she had given me a BJ and what not while I was trying to get her to agree to it, but after the fact, no, she wasn't doing anything when I was getting her excited again.

 

[Wanace]

Well, she had given me a BJ and what not while I was trying to get her to agree to it, but after the fact, no, she wasn't doing anything when I was getting her excited again.

I really don't know what to tell you. I've never had the "problem" and can't make any suggestions on how to get over it. I'd probably just break up with her :lol

 

[AFreak]

I really don't know what to tell you. I've never had the "problem" and can't make any suggestions on how to get over it. I'd probably just break up with her :lol

Yeah, well it's only when we are about to have sex that I can't get it up. Any other time it's good to go. Shit is annoying.

I think my nerves are just terrible, I always over-analyze shit, and I'm probably doing the same damn thing here when she says "ok" I just think about what I should do, and it just goes away never to return.

 

[Max@GC]

I understand that you have had a lot of bad experiences in the past and I am sorry that it happened to you. But guess what, you're not the only person who has been abused or had major failures in their life.

Believe it or not, I've had very similar problems you had in the past as well so I am not looking at your situation from the outside and simply throwing random advice to you.

I've been in your shoes before. Got laid off, poor relationships with everybody, low self-esteem etc. What changed for me was taking the time to change myself for the better. It was hard as fuck, heck its still hard, but at least I am at the point where I am optimistic at life rather than being depressed about it.

I guess the only thing I can ask is what are you going to do to change your life? Are you going to continue to let life beat you down or are you going to start to retake control and achieve the life you want and feel you deserve? Go back over this thread, there is a goldmine of great information for you.

That said, I hope everything works out for you.

I think I´ve said it before but move the fuck out asap Combine! After I moved out of my parents house I felt a lot better and not like a child anymore, acted more independently and actually found the motivation to look for a gf/sexual experience. My parents have always been fucking prudes unsatisfied with their relationship and their own sexuality so everytime a sex/gf related topic came up they used to put me down by saying negative shit like "there are more important things in life" or were simply embarrassed that I have sexuality too.

 

[Antagon]

I think I´ve said it before but move the fuck out asap Combine! After I moved out of my parents house I felt a lot better and not like a child anymore, acted more independently and actually found the motivation to look for a gf/sexual experience. My parents have always been fucking prudes unsatisfied with their relationship and their own sexuality so everytime a sex/gf related topic came up they used to put me down by saying negative shit like "there are more important things in life" or were simply embarrassed that I have sexuality too.

Moving out is definitely a good thing and an important step in growing up. However if you move out and start living on your own, finding stuff to do is even more important then now.

Combine, it is good that you signed yourself up for that event, but it is not enough. Try to find stuff to do out of your house for at least 1-2 times a week. And as others said, something like a martial art or dance class would be ideal as you'll start out with others that have never done it before.

Also, as I said before I've been in a situation like you. No friends, never got outside, huge social and self esteem issues, etc. And right now my life might not be perfect but I'm feeling better then ever and am pretty contempt with how everything is going.

 

[BronzeWolf]

.

 

[whitehawk]

So what does it mean when a girl says "so who do you have a crush on?", or "so I heard you hooked up with 'x' girl". Note that we dated for a month but she said she wasnt looking for a relationship. This is also the girl I asked to prom, and she seemed happy when I asked (she was even asked by someone else who she said she might have said yes to, but decided to say yes to me instead).

 

[Mr.City]

So what does it mean when a girl says "so who do you have a crush on?", or "so I heard you hooked up with 'x' girl". Note that we dated for a month but she said she wasnt looking for a relationship. This is also the girl I asked to prom, and she seemed happy when I asked (she was even asked by someone else who she said she might have said yes to, but decided to say yes to me instead).

In my experience, she doubts your faithfulness and/or has been hurt in the past and is screening you.