Combine said:
Being shoved around by that giant douche wasn't helping either. That guys "encouragement" came off looking more like taunting and berating.
The world is really a big, scary, and mean place for you isn't it?
Here's something that I think can help you. When my son (age 6 now) started showing signs of having confidence issues, he and I started taking Taekwondo together. It's done wonders for him, and he's really come out of his shell after only about a year. It's helped me too. While I'll admit that taking a martial arts class probably won't directly help you meet single women, I think it'll do wonders for you on a personal development level, and make you an all around better, more dateable, man.
Some reasons I think it'd help you personally:
1)
Low entry expectations - You've shown anxiety about not already being an expert on something before joining a new club. You are not expected to already know martial arts when you sign up for a class. The instructors are expected to teach you everything from the very beginning. That's the point. You're expected to be a clumsy and awkward white belt when you start. It's extremely common for new students in MA classes to be troubled kids, ADD kids, kids that need discipline, the physically weak, the meek, and the disabled. MA instructors expect those type of students, and they specialize in being patient with them. Within the last year our network of schools has awarded black belts to an 80 year old man, and a dude in a wheelchair.
2)
Overcome performance anxiety. - An average martial arts class amounts to you and a bunch of other average Joes flailing around and trying to perform spin kicks in unison while wearing Halloween costumes. At first you'll probably look like a jackass, and you are probably going to fall on your face at least a few times. But the only people that are seeing you do this are people that have fallen exactly the same way, and struggled with the same things. They've been there.
3)
Physical contact - You've mentioned that you have huge issues with touching people and being touched. A martial arts class would rip this barrier right down and give you physical contact in a non-sexual context. As part of the class you'll be paired up with people to practice wrist locks, hold, throws, blocking attacks, etc. It's done in non threatening, constructive way, and will get you used to actually being in someone else's personal space.
4)
Physical fitness - You'll sweat your ass off. I'm at the gym 5-8 times a week, and it still kicks my butt. Sparring for a few minutes will gas you out faster than you'll imagine. It's a great workout.
5)
Physical confidence - Feeling deep down inside that you can defend yourself if necessary is going to help alleviate some of the fear that you have. The world isn't all that scary.
6)
Expanded social circle - Like I said, you're probably not going to meet a lot of chicks this way, but you will meet new people and it'll be hard to not become friends with them after seeing them twice a week for 6+ months. Just by showing up and participating every week you'll gain a rapport with the other students and maybe some of the instructors, and you may start to hang out and relate to each other the way members of a high school basketball team do. At the very least, you'll be able to talk about a "sport" with another dude when the need arises.
7)
A conversational piece. - Let's be honest, no woman is going to date you just because you know freaking judo, and they probably don't want to hear you drone on and on about it either. :lol But you will notice that fewer of your stories will start with "So I was sitting on my couch watching TV..." and more will start with "So a few guys from class and I were..." or "I was watching this TKD tournament in LA last weekend...." This thread is full of people saying "What do I talk about? I have no idea what to say!" People generally have nothing to talk about because they are doing nothing worth talking about. Having something going on in your life makes you more interesting.
8)
Regular progression and personal victories - A regular theme in your posts is "I've failed at everything I've ever done." You need to start Taking a martial art will give you regular progress and progression, much leveling up in a RPG. In martial arts you level up ever 3-12 months, and reaching the next level is never that much of a stretch once you've reached the previous level. You'll probably pass your first belt promotion test if you manage to show up to the test wearing pants.
Seriously, look into it. I'm completely satisfied with the changes I'm seeing in my son, and I don't regret taking the classes myself either.
