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[RefigeKru]

This one is hard.

Met a girl on Friday/Sat morning. Chatted to her for a while. Grabbed her boob jokingly, she kinda liked it. Added her on facebook.

Gets interesting here. Instantly after adding her and saying we should go skating sometime, she messages me her number, I log in during the night and she instantly starts chatting to me (This has happened everytime I'm on facebook). I leave at one point after she doesn't respond and she texts me during the night asking me if I'm awake.

That's all cool though. Until the monday where she begs me to go out to jam with her and her friends, which I eventually do, we jam all day, end up going to her friends house and sleeping in a bed with her and a friend of mine. Lots of holding hands, etc. About 3 hours after I leave with her the next day and head home, she's messaging me via facebook + phone multiple times. I woke up yesterday to a missed call from her during the night.

She's 3 years older than me and constantly brings this up by saying how young I am and how she can look after me like a big sister. Now, I've missed a lot of details but the jist of the matter is; 1) Is she too eager or am I just avoiding girls like I usually do? 2) I'm not sure if I actually like her or if I find her interest in me obvious enough to flatter me.

:x

Been a month since I've seen her -- told her about 3 weeks ago that nothing is going to happen.

Okay. Despite this, she still manages to message me everytime I log into Facebook with some banal crap while also attempting to invite herself into my home, or me around to hers. It is sad.

Best part is earlier today I logged in and got a message saying "elts make love <3". I logged out as soon as I saw that. It's moved from incredibly annoying and sad --> oh shit I'm gonna end up in her dungeon.

Solutions?

Edit; I refuse to hit it.

 

[Gaaraz]

So, I went out last night wanting to use some of Puddle's advice, made a fair bit of effort, had more confidence than usual, and... it was packed, but there were hardly any girls there at all, World Cup match night probably wasn't the greatest of ideas on hindsight Depressingly, it seems I managed to attract the wrong sex too, the barman. I tried to avoid him, even though he kept trying to stare/smile or talk to me, but then I realised there's a really fine line between showing you're not interested at all, and doing that thing that I'm told you should do to chicks, like don't show you're keen to make them more interested. But I hope the message got across, heh.

Also with regards to the drink thing, it's not just confidence, it's the fact I act like a complete fucking idiot when I'm drunk, and it seems that's maybe not such a bad thing. My mate is fat, bald, talks like a spastic where he slurs so much, is practically an alcoholic and is genuinely very, very ugly. Yet he pulls some amazingly good looking girls. He just gets so drunk, spends the whole night dancing around, singing on karaoke (worse than anything you've heard before) dancing on tables with the mic, thrusting his groin in people's faces and generally acting like a right cunt.

But chicks seem to fucking love that shit. I don't really get it though, we all just stand there scratching our heads as he seems to get with a real nice girl whenever he's out.

@RefigeKru - pics pls so we can judge

 

[JackWallabee]

Been a month since I've seen her -- told her about 3 weeks ago that nothing is going to happen.

Okay. Despite this, she still manages to message me everytime I log into Facebook with some banal crap while also attempting to invite herself into my home, or me around to hers. It is sad.

Best part is earlier today I logged in and got a message saying "elts make love <3". I logged out as soon as I saw that. It's moved from incredibly annoying and sad --> oh shit I'm gonna end up in her dungeon.

Solutions?

Edit; I refuse to hit it.

When you said "nothing is going to happen," what did you say exactly?

 

[Mt Heart Attack]

So I went out last night wanting to use some of Puddles advice, I made a fair bit of effort, looked pretty good for once (I'm not ugly, just very lazy), had more confidence than usual, had a single drink just to help me along a bit, and... well, there were pretty much no girls in the pub at all! It was packed, but maybe a world cup match night wasn't the best idea. Annoyingly I seemingly managed to attract the wrong sex too, the barman. I tried to avoid him, even though he kept trying to stare and smile at me, or talk to me, but then I realised there's a really fine line between showing you're not interested at all but being polite, and doing that thing that I'm always told you should do to chicks, like don't show you're keen at all to make them more interested. But I hope the message got across, heh.

Also with regards to the drink thing, it's not just confidence, it's the fact I act like a complete fucking idiot when I'm drunk, and it seems that's maybe not such a bad thing. My mate is fat, bald, talks like a spastic where he slurs so much, is practically an alcoholic and is genuinely very, very ugly. Yet he pulls some amazingly good looking girls. He just gets so drunk, spends the whole night dancing around, singing on karaoke (worse than anything you've heard before) dancing on tables with the mic, thrusting his groin in people's faces and generally acting like a right cunt.

But chicks seem to fucking love that shit. I really don't get it. We all just stand there scratching our heads as he seems to get with a real nice girl whenever we go out.

Yeah girls love stupid. It's pretty simple, the hardest thing is managing to be stupid without you know... feeling stupid.

 

[owlbeak]

Been a month since I've seen her -- told her about 3 weeks ago that nothing is going to happen.

Okay. Despite this, she still manages to message me everytime I log into Facebook with some banal crap while also attempting to invite herself into my home, or me around to hers. It is sad.

Best part is earlier today I logged in and got a message saying "elts make love <3". I logged out as soon as I saw that. It's moved from incredibly annoying and sad --> oh shit I'm gonna end up in her dungeon.

Solutions?

Edit; I refuse to hit it.

What a fuckin' creep. Girls like this are insane. Period. Tell her to back off then stop responding to texts, don't pick up the phone when she calls, and ignore her if she starts chatting at you on facebook (I'd suggest adding her to a custom group and turning your online status off to that group so she never even sees you as online).

 

[RefigeKru]

When you said "nothing is going to happen," what did you say exactly?

Got it out of the way that I didn't want to start a relationship and that I feel like I put across the wrong message and she said she was fine with that, we did meet at a party after all and didn't do anything physically. I said I'd probably catch her after my exams since I've got a lot of work to do.

What a fuckin' creep. Girls like this are insane. Period. Tell her to back off then stop responding to texts, don't pick up the phone when she calls, and ignore her if she starts chatting at you on facebook (I'd suggest adding her to a custom group and turning your online status off to that group so she never even sees you as online).

Bold is gooooood. I think I'll just have to reiterate what I've already said. One of my friends said she'll appear to be my girlfriend on Facebook for like a month just so that she'll back off :lol

 

[Puddles]

Proud of myself, gaf. I'm a longtime member of virgin-gaf (23, and I've never so much as kissed a girl). Went out last night and totally chatted up this girl who was a friend of a friend. Turned out she was going to the same university as me in the fall, and even staying in the same graduate residence as me, so conversation flowed easily. Ended up exchanging numbers, she said she'd add me of facebook. It wasn't even so much that I was interested in her (she was okay looking), I was just really happy that I could hold a reasonable conversation with a girl at a bar, and get her number.

Congratulations. You've taken your first step into a larger world.


As for me, the blind date went okay. The girl was fairly attractive, and I liked her personality, although it seems that she's not as much into the party scene as I'd like. Her English was quite good.

I took her downtown to one of my favorite Italian places. I like the place because you can get a bottle of wine for cheaper than just about anywhere else in this city aside from a supermarket. We had a good dinner, got to chatting, then went to a bar afterwards. I commented on her fingernails and watch, used that as an opportunity to kind of hold her hand for a bit. After awhile, things looked to be getting somewhere, so I asked if she wanted to come watch a movie at my place. She said yes.

When we got back, she commented on my guitars, so I played a little bit for her. She liked that. We put on a movie. After awhile, I leaned in to kiss her, and she went for it. We kissed for awhile. But that's when she finally became conservative Korean. She said it wasn't really the Korean way to kiss on a first date and asked me if I always did that. I didn't really know what to say there. She ended up leaving a little while later, saying that she had to get up in the morning to go do something with her sister. We did kiss one more time before she left, and she did kind of invite me to do something with her next weekend. We'll see.

I don't see what I really could have done differently; I think she was a little freaked out because she hasn't really been with a guy, especially not a foreign guy, in awhile. I wasn't overly touchy or anything.

Oh well. Third consecutive weekend getting to at least first base with a girl.

 

[Shanadeus]

. I wasn't overly touchy or anything.

Puddles
The Marie Antoinette that brushes up against you and let it lingers
(Today, 12:45 AM)
Reply | Quote

 

[Puddles]

Well, I did do that... Fuck!!!

 

[Shanadeus]

Well, I did do that... Fuck!!!

Tone down the kino a bit maybe?
It sounds like it's the weakness in your game.

 

[soultron]

I'm not close with my family, and my GF (of 7-8 months) constantly brings up the fact that she never sees or is involved with my family. The guilt trips bother me, since she is in such a rush to be close with my family when I barely see them myself. Of the three times I've spent good quality time with my family this year, she's been there for one of them.

So, GAF, do you think it's commitment issues I have? Is she right to be bothered about how she never sees my family is a sign that "she's not that important to me," since I don't go out of my way to do family things and include her in every single event?

I just want to know if I'm right feeling a little frustrated with this issue.

 

[CrushDance]

Okay GAF I'm at work and we've talked a little but I'm chocking. I'm not sure what to say to start it up...

 

[akachan ningen]

Okay GAF I'm at work and we've talked a little but I'm chocking. I'm not sure what to say to start it up...

Tell her a funny story, even if it's totally made up.

 

[Puddles]

Tone down the kino a bit maybe?
It sounds like it's the weakness in your game.

The actual "kino" seemed to work out well with her. She didn't have any problems until we were actually in my apartment making out. I guess I moved too fast for her, but with other girls that would have been the right speed. I don't know. It's all very situational sometimes.

 

[Mr.City]

Congratulations. You've taken your first step into a larger world.


As for me, the blind date went okay. The girl was fairly attractive, and I liked her personality, although it seems that she's not as much into the party scene as I'd like. Her English was quite good.

I took her downtown to one of my favorite Italian places. I like the place because you can get a bottle of wine for cheaper than just about anywhere else in this city aside from a supermarket. We had a good dinner, got to chatting, then went to a bar afterwards. I commented on her fingernails and watch, used that as an opportunity to kind of hold her hand for a bit. After awhile, things looked to be getting somewhere, so I asked if she wanted to come watch a movie at my place. She said yes.

When we got back, she commented on my guitars, so I played a little bit for her. She liked that. We put on a movie. After awhile, I leaned in to kiss her, and she went for it. We kissed for awhile. But that's when she finally became conservative Korean. She said it wasn't really the Korean way to kiss on a first date and asked me if I always did that. I didn't really know what to say there. She ended up leaving a little while later, saying that she had to get up in the morning to go do something with her sister. We did kiss one more time before she left, and she did kind of invite me to do something with her next weekend. We'll see.

I don't see what I really could have done differently; I think she was a little freaked out because she hasn't really been with a guy, especially not a foreign guy, in awhile. I wasn't overly touchy or anything.

Oh well. Third consecutive weekend getting to at least first base with a girl.

You should of said that's how you do things. You don't be afraid of your sexuality.

 

[Deadly Cyclone]

I enjoy the help session going on here, so I'll post my bit for some input.

I am 24, and living in Iowa in a town I went to college in. My best friend still lives here with his fiancée (I am good friends with her as well) and two of my other college buddies are still in town, but other than that the rest of the crew is in other states.

The issue arises that my best friend isn't a bar guy and doesn't go out a ton because he has little reason to, and my other two friends go out from time to time, and I go along, but they are gone a lot and also hang out with some of their friends from school (I go from time to time with them as well, but it doesn't happen a ton) so there is quite a bit of time I spent hanging around my apartment.

The issue that arises is there aren't a ton of women that hit the bars here as well (even though it is a college town) and those that do are usually with a group of guys. Also there aren't really hang out spots besides hitting up the bars and I am not sure if the random bar chick is what I am looking for. Where else should I go? Wander the isles of Target? :lol

So basically I get out, but not a ton (hang out with friends more), and the women seem to all be somewhere else besides where I am generally at. Any suggestions? I am not too worried about it because I know opportunities will arise, but any advice would be great.

 

[CrushDance]

Look the whole point is I'm paralyzed right now on how to ask her for some shit together. She was standing there for like 10 minutes working beside me and I was freaking, trying to think of something to say.

Tell her a funny story, even if it's totally made up.

 

[Puddles]

You work on Saturdays?

 

[soultron]

Any suggestions? I am not too worried about it because I know opportunities will arise, but any advice would be great.

Join a co-ed sports team and make friends!

 

[Deadly Cyclone]

Join a co-ed sports team and make friends!

Been looking into this, I am good at talking to people and meeting people, it's just finding where the women I actually want to meet are.

 

[CrushDance]

Still In school

You work on Saturdays?

 

[Mr.City]

Look the whole point is I'm paralyzed right now on how to ask her for some shit together. She was standing there for like 10 minutes working beside me and I was freaking, trying to think of something to say.

Invite her out for a drink, you pussy

 

[akachan ningen]

Look the whole point is I'm paralyzed right now on how to ask her for some shit together. She was standing there for like 10 minutes working beside me and I was freaking, trying to think of something to say.

dammit, you just gotta say "what's up, you've been ignoring me for 10 minutes." let her do all the talking. just ask questions.

 

[whitehawk]

wow... um. looking back at what happened last night, i cant believe that happened :lol

I'm 18 (grade 12) and last night I was at a huge park party. I somehow hooked up with two grade 9s or 10s (age 15, maybe 16 i think) and made out with them, at the same time... wow :lol

im still saying wtf to myself.

Yeah, I feel really weird about this. I'm going to keep it on the down low.

 

[Jayge]

Yeah, I feel really weird about this. I'm going to keep it on the down low.

Don't feel weird about the 16 year old but neglect to mention that a 15 year old initiated a make-out session with you and you went along with it. Although I think you're that one dude who looks 3 years older than you are... I don't know if that changes things.

 

[whitehawk]

Don't feel weird about the 16 year old but neglect to mention that a 15 year old initiated a make-out session with you and you went along with it. Although I think you're that one dude who looks 3 years older than you are... I don't know if that changes things.

Yeah. I think I'm just not going to tell anyone, at least not right now. I'll probably bring it up with my buddies when night when we are drinking, but for now it's on the down low. And yeah, I do look much older than I am. I'm 18, but I rarely get carded when buying alcohol. And one time this 26 year old was hitting on me at a party thinking I was around 25. Then she found out I was 18 and said "Well I didn't do anything inappropriate yet". Yeah. I think if I was in a better state of mind, I wouldn't have done the same thing. This is why I need to get less drunk :lol Oh and I just remembered as we dispersed one of them said "I want to suck your dick". Don't worry we didn't go that far, and I had no intention of doing so.

 

[Jayge]

Yeah. I think I'm just not going to tell anyone, at least not right now. I'll probably bring it up with my buddies when night when we are drinking, but for now it's on the down low. And yeah, I do look much older than I am. I'm 18, but I rarely get carded when buying alcohol. And one time this 26 year old was hitting on me at a party thinking I was around 25. Then she found out I was 18 and said "Well I didn't do anything inappropriate yet". Yeah. I think if I was in a better state of mind, I wouldn't have done the same thing. This is why I need to get less drunk :lol Oh and I just remembered as we dispersed one of them said "I want to suck your dick". Don't worry we didn't go that far, and I had no intention of doing so.

Ironically they're probably going around talking about how they got some 23 year old to make out with them :lol

A friend of mine knows a girl (I know her but I'm not friends with her) who had sex with a 25 year old. Guy thought she was 20. He still doesn't know she was 15 (16 now, maybe 17). That still creeps me out.

 

[whitehawk]

Ironically they're probably going around talking about how they got some 23 year old to make out with them :lol

A friend of mine knows a girl (I know her but I'm not friends with her) who had sex with a 25 year old. Guy thought she was 20. He still doesn't know she was 15 (16 now, maybe 17). That still creeps me out.

I'm sort of worried about that :lol

Woah.. Yeah I had a friend who made out with a 23 year old while he was 16 or 17. Ugh, I really regret doing what I did. I don't remember it that well, but I know it happened. I'm actually going to deny it if people find out :lol

 

[CrushDance]

What a disaster.

So I finally decided that today would be the day, where I finally become a man and talk to a woman without being awkward. Well after freaking initially and you guys bolstering me up, I went back and caught her as she was putting some files away and asked her if she'd like an iced starbucks since I was going to get one anyway (I started off by mentioning how hot it was). She said that was a kind thought but that she already had coffee in the morning and too much made her hyper, she was really cool about it and playful. But then requested to be off early (Office people can do that if projects are ahead. But I've bhatt seen her do that before...)

I kept my cool and told her that was fine and maybe another time. Yet for some reason I feel crushed beyond belief as if that were a "no". After that my mood has totally changed and here I am at work wondering what the F just happened. I feel like she said no.

 

[akachan ningen]

What a disaster.

So I finally decided that today would be the day, where I finally become a man and talk to a woman without being awkward. Well after freaking initially and you guys bolstering me up, I went back and caught her as she was putting some files away and asked her if she'd like an iced starbucks since I was going to get one anyway (I started off by mentioning how hot it was). She said that was a kind thought but that she already had coffee in the morning and too much made her hyper, she was really cool about it and playful. But then requested to be off early (Office people can do that if projects are ahead. But I've bhatt seen her do that before...)

I kept my cool and told her that was fine and maybe another time. Yet for some reason I feel crushed beyond belief as if that were a "no". After that my mood has totally changed and here I am at work wondering what the F just happened. I feel like she said no.

Great job. Now just keep doing that until rejection doesn't bother you at all. Trust me, it'll happen(and soon). After that, you'll be able to talk to girls without getting nervous at all and that's half the game.

 

[S1lent]

What a disaster.

So I finally decided that today would be the day, where I finally become a man and talk to a woman without being awkward. Well after freaking initially and you guys bolstering me up, I went back and caught her as she was putting some files away and asked her if she'd like an iced starbucks since I was going to get one anyway (I started off by mentioning how hot it was). She said that was a kind thought but that she already had coffee in the morning and too much made her hyper, she was really cool about it and playful. But then requested to be off early (Office people can do that if projects are ahead. But I've bhatt seen her do that before...)

I kept my cool and told her that was fine and maybe another time. Yet for some reason I feel crushed beyond belief as if that were a "no". After that my mood has totally changed and here I am at work wondering what the F just happened. I feel like she said no.

You ever consider that she answered honestly? Give it another shot another day, maybe didn't see it as you asking her out and so didn't think she'd be hurting your feelings by declining.

 

[DTLIONS1013]

So I was at a concert tonight and me and my friend are standing next to two cute girls. We start talking to them until we realize the man standing behind them is there father. Owned

 

[Mr.City]

What a disaster.

So I finally decided that today would be the day, where I finally become a man and talk to a woman without being awkward. Well after freaking initially and you guys bolstering me up, I went back and caught her as she was putting some files away and asked her if she'd like an iced starbucks since I was going to get one anyway (I started off by mentioning how hot it was). She said that was a kind thought but that she already had coffee in the morning and too much made her hyper, she was really cool about it and playful. But then requested to be off early (Office people can do that if projects are ahead. But I've bhatt seen her do that before...)

I kept my cool and told her that was fine and maybe another time. Yet for some reason I feel crushed beyond belief as if that were a "no". After that my mood has totally changed and here I am at work wondering what the F just happened. I feel like she said no.

Good God, society has compressed you into a small cube of a man.

 

[Puddles]

What a disaster.

So I finally decided that today would be the day, where I finally become a man and talk to a woman without being awkward. Well after freaking initially and you guys bolstering me up, I went back and caught her as she was putting some files away and asked her if she'd like an iced starbucks since I was going to get one anyway (I started off by mentioning how hot it was). She said that was a kind thought but that she already had coffee in the morning and too much made her hyper, she was really cool about it and playful. But then requested to be off early (Office people can do that if projects are ahead. But I've bhatt seen her do that before...)

I kept my cool and told her that was fine and maybe another time. Yet for some reason I feel crushed beyond belief as if that were a "no". After that my mood has totally changed and here I am at work wondering what the F just happened. I feel like she said no.

What does "bhatt" mean?

Also, you're thinking about this way too much. Why didn't you ask her out for a drink instead? You said you're 22, right? Just take her to a bar.

 

[Mr.City]

So I was at a concert tonight and me and my friend are standing next to two cute girls. We start talking to them until we realize the man standing behind them is there father. Owned

How old were the girls?

 

[CrushDance]

Great job. Now just keep doing that until rejection doesn't bother you at all. Trust me, it'll happen(and soon). After that, you'll be able to talk to girls without getting nervous at all and that's half the game.

Man I really don't know what happened, I had it all worked out in my head and thought she wouldn't say "no".

You ever consider that she answered honestly? Give it another shot another day, maybe didn't see it as you asking her out and so didn't think she'd be hurting your feelings by declining.

That's what I was thinking right after, but now I'm thinking that I'm totally not in her league.

What does "bhatt" mean?

Also, you're thinking about this way too much. Why didn't you ask her out for a drink instead? You said you're 22, right? Just take her to a bar.

Typo, was typing on my phone, and I don't drink.

Good God, society has compressed you into a small cube of a man.

Yeah I'm fucked. I know it. She's way out of my league in a sense, I mean we're pretty cool together but I just knew it wasn't going to work out.

 

[S1lent]

Yeah I'm fucked. I know it. She's way out of my league in a sense, I mean we're pretty cool together but I just knew it wasn't going to work out.

Dude she was flirting with you hardcore before, right? Stop worrying about whether she is in your league or not and just go for it. You're going to be kicking yourself down the road if you give up now.

 

[SpectreFire]

Yeah I'm fucked. I know it. She's way out of my league in a sense, I mean we're pretty cool together but I just knew it wasn't going to work out.

...

You're just a fucking drama queen.

Seriously... what?

You asked her if she wanted coffee, she gave you a perfectly good explanation why she doesn't want any.

You run out with your fucking tail between your legs crying like a bitch.

Oh my god.

You're worse than Combine.

 

[undrtakr900]

What a disaster.

So I finally decided that today would be the day, where I finally become a man and talk to a woman without being awkward. Well after freaking initially and you guys bolstering me up, I went back and caught her as she was putting some files away and asked her if she'd like an iced starbucks since I was going to get one anyway (I started off by mentioning how hot it was). She said that was a kind thought but that she already had coffee in the morning and too much made her hyper, she was really cool about it and playful. But then requested to be off early (Office people can do that if projects are ahead. But I've bhatt seen her do that before...)

I kept my cool and told her that was fine and maybe another time. Yet for some reason I feel crushed beyond belief as if that were a "no". After that my mood has totally changed and here I am at work wondering what the F just happened. I feel like she said no.

Don't think of it as a rejection cause the way you worded it made it sound like you were just going to go buy her a starbucks and she was declining the drink(not you). Next time why don't you invite her to go to starbucks with you instead.

 

[HappyBivouac]

I enjoy the help session going on here, so I'll post my bit for some input.

I am 24, and living in Iowa in a town I went to college in. My best friend still lives here with his fiancée (I am good friends with her as well) and two of my other college buddies are still in town, but other than that the rest of the crew is in other states.

The issue arises that my best friend isn't a bar guy and doesn't go out a ton because he has little reason to, and my other two friends go out from time to time, and I go along, but they are gone a lot and also hang out with some of their friends from school (I go from time to time with them as well, but it doesn't happen a ton) so there is quite a bit of time I spent hanging around my apartment.

The issue that arises is there aren't a ton of women that hit the bars here as well (even though it is a college town) and those that do are usually with a group of guys. Also there aren't really hang out spots besides hitting up the bars and I am not sure if the random bar chick is what I am looking for. Where else should I go? Wander the isles of Target? :lol

So basically I get out, but not a ton (hang out with friends more), and the women seem to all be somewhere else besides where I am generally at. Any suggestions? I am not too worried about it because I know opportunities will arise, but any advice would be great.

Ames, by any chance?

 

[vitaminwateryum]

...

You're just a fucking drama queen.

Seriously... what?

You asked her if she wanted coffee, she gave you a perfectly good explanation why she doesn't want any.

You run out with your fucking tail between your legs crying like a bitch.

Oh my god.

You're worse than Combine.

^

 

[Aurelius]

Don't think of it as a rejection cause the way you worded it made it sound like you were just going to go buy her a starbucks and she was declining the drink(not you).

That's how I read it. Stop overanalyzing the situation and making it larger in your head than it is. Also, you are not yet a part of her descision making process. So what if she asked to go home early? I doubt you are the reason for that.

Next time, ask her to come with you to have a cup of coffee outside of the office. Keep at it. She will either go out with you or flat out reject you. Even if this happens, you will have shown confidence and perseverance.

 

[CrushDance]

The whole point is...I feel "butthurt" for lack of a better word. I'm confused as to where I'm supposed tot take this now. One of my friends said that I should keep asking her like you guys are saying, but how am I supposed to do it without being seen as a creep or desperate? I don't understand why this has to be so complicated. A simple YES or NO would suffice.

All I know now though is that I'd like to befriend her even more and actually start doing things together instead of just saying "lets go out". That's the whole reason I did the coffee thing. I was going to ask her to a dinner and movie but then realized I was way in over my head and choked. I came and told you guys and with some encouragement I went back and took a breather and then thought of the iced coffee idea.

I don't feel comfortable asking her out right now since I barely know her(We only started clicking the last couple months). But I don't want to risk the thought of another guy going after her while I'm trying to make friends>do things together>ask her out. I know I also risk the chance of being put in the "best boyfriend" zone if I do that.

But I am telling you guys that I am incapable. Talking to her the way I did today made my friends jaw hit the floor, I have never, ever been so straightforward with a girl before. And trust me, it took a lot of heart for me to do what I did without stuttering or looking like a moron.

I will agree though that I may be over thinking the whole "no thanks" thing since she was laughing and joking with me about it. But that makes me even more scared that if, when, I do ask her out on a DATE that I will freaking crash if she says no.

I almost want to wait until her last week here is over before initiating any dating plans just because I wouldn't want any awkwardness if she says no. Yes I have to think positive but I'm also being realistic. I'm not even frontin when I say she is a bombshell, this isn't some nerdy shit where any girl=OMG. I can talk to girls fine and have many female friends, just when I like a girl I freeze. That's what makes it so much more difficult for me personally.

I grew a little today but I know that I have a long way to go, until the point where I can talk to her or any other girl without trembling. It's hard. So how do I go about keeping her interested and talking without asking her if she wants a coffee everyday? Act like normal?

 

[SephCast]

The whole point is...I feel "butthurt" for lack of a better word. I'm confused as to where I'm supposed tot take this now. One of my friends said that I should keep asking her like you guys are saying, but how am I supposed to do it without being seen as a creep or desperate? I don't understand why this has to be so complicated. A simple YES or NO would suffice.

All I know now though is that I'd like to befriend her even more and actually start doing things together instead of just saying "lets go out". That's the whole reason I did the coffee thing. I was going to ask her to a dinner and movie but then realized I was way in over my head and choked. I came and told you guys and with some encouragement I went back and took a breather and then thought of the iced coffee idea.

I don't feel comfortable asking her out right now since I barely know her(We only started clicking the last couple months). But I don't want to risk the thought of another guy going after her while I'm trying to make friends>do things together>ask her out. I know I also risk the chance of being put in the "best boyfriend" zone if I do that.

But I am telling you guys that I am incapable. Talking to her the way I did today made my friends jaw hit the floor, I have never, ever been so straightforward with a girl before. And trust me, it took a lot of heart for me to do what I did without stuttering or looking like a moron.

I will agree though that I may be over thinking the whole "no thanks" thing since she was laughing and joking with me about it. But that makes me even more scared that if, when, I do ask her out on a DATE that I will freaking crash if she says no.

I almost want to wait until her last week here is over before initiating any dating plans just because I wouldn't want any awkwardness if she says no. Yes I have to think positive but I'm also being realistic. I'm not even frontin when I say she is a bombshell, this isn't some nerdy shit where any girl=OMG. I can talk to girls fine and have many female friends, just when I like a girl I freeze. That's what makes it so much more difficult for me personally.

I grew a little today but I know that I have a long way to go, until the point where I can talk to her or any other girl without trembling. It's hard. So how do I go about keeping her interested and talking without asking her if she wants a coffee everyday? Act like normal?

1. Quit hyping this up so much. The hype is half the problem. Guys like us hype up these girls and we end up putting so much stock into one girl. It's unhealthy and can only lead to bad things.

2. She didn't even reject you, she just didn't want any coffee.

3. You don't want to ask her out because you don't know her that well? That's the point of dating someone, to get to know them better.


Just ask her to go get some dinner or to a bar or anything. In the end, she's just a girl. Don't hype it up. If it doesn't work out, who cares? Move on. Not a big deal. This is all a huge problem in this thread. Put simply, we're all putting the pussy on a pedestal. They're human beings and there's tons of them.

I'm speaking from experience man. I was dating this girl from work for a while, and then I asked her if she wanted to make it official. It was one of the hardest things for me to do. She said no, and I've pretty much moved on. I now have learned not to hype up these girls. It does us no good to be like "Oh man this girl is so awesome and I really like her and we have amazing chemistry." You're setting yourself up for heartbreak. If you go into with an attitude of "whatever, it'd be cool, but if it doesn't work out, it's not the end of the world."

 

[Aurelius]

The whole point is...I feel "butthurt" for lack of a better word. I'm confused as to where I'm supposed tot take this now. One of my friends said that I should keep asking her like you guys are saying, but how am I supposed to do it without being seen as a creep or desperate? I don't understand why this has to be so complicated. A simple YES or NO would suffice.

All I know now though is that I'd like to befriend her even more and actually start doing things together instead of just saying "lets go out". That's the whole reason I did the coffee thing. I was going to ask her to a dinner and movie but then realized I was way in over my head and choked. I came and told you guys and with some encouragement I went back and took a breather and then thought of the iced coffee idea.

I don't feel comfortable asking her out right now since I barely know her(We only started clicking the last couple months). But I don't want to risk the thought of another guy going after her while I'm trying to make friends>do things together>ask her out. I know I also risk the chance of being put in the "best boyfriend" zone if I do that.

But I am telling you guys that I am incapable. Talking to her the way I did today made my friends jaw hit the floor, I have never, ever been so straightforward with a girl before. And trust me, it took a lot of heart for me to do what I did without stuttering or looking like a moron.

I will agree though that I may be over thinking the whole "no thanks" thing since she was laughing and joking with me about it. But that makes me even more scared that if, when, I do ask her out on a DATE that I will freaking crash if she says no.

I almost want to wait until her last week here is over before initiating any dating plans just because I wouldn't want any awkwardness if she says no. Yes I have to think positive but I'm also being realistic. I'm not even frontin when I say she is a bombshell, this isn't some nerdy shit where any girl=OMG. I can talk to girls fine and have many female friends, just when I like a girl I freeze. That's what makes it so much more difficult for me personally.

I grew a little today but I know that I have a long way to go, until the point where I can talk to her or any other girl without trembling. It's hard. So how do I go about keeping her interested and talking without asking her if she wants a coffee everyday? Act like normal?

Your problem is that you are massively overthinking things. Not only are you bringing in past experiences, you are letting in your own fears and insecurities that you think are being confirmed by her responses to you. Even though there are a lot of more plausible explanations for it.

You are also already thinking about the future and her place in it! Stop it! Just concentrate on the here and now. Ask her out. If she says yes enjoy that moment. If she doesn’t, laugh about it and learn from it. Off course you should have some idea where you want to go with that girl, but don’t plan out everything in you head. That will only lead to dissapointment.

If you keep this behavior up she will definatly get creeped out!

Concentrate on the thing she is doing, and not on the things she’s not doing. She asked to have dinner with you. She rejected the coffee, not you. She hasn’t rejected you yet or laughed in your face.

Keep asking her out and don’t be afraid to be clear about you intentions so you won’t end up in the friends zone. If she doesn’t think about you in that way she will say that to you. Than you will know and move on to the next girl and have learned some things and grown in confidence. Sometimes it’s hard to believe, but being rejected by a girl is not the end of the world.

In short: lighten up! Have fun!

 

[akachan ningen]

The whole point is...I feel "butthurt" for lack of a better word. I'm confused as to where I'm supposed tot take this now. One of my friends said that I should keep asking her like you guys are saying, but how am I supposed to do it without being seen as a creep or desperate? I don't understand why this has to be so complicated. A simple YES or NO would suffice.

All I know now though is that I'd like to befriend her even more and actually start doing things together instead of just saying "lets go out". That's the whole reason I did the coffee thing. I was going to ask her to a dinner and movie but then realized I was way in over my head and choked. I came and told you guys and with some encouragement I went back and took a breather and then thought of the iced coffee idea.

I don't feel comfortable asking her out right now since I barely know her(We only started clicking the last couple months). But I don't want to risk the thought of another guy going after her while I'm trying to make friends>do things together>ask her out. I know I also risk the chance of being put in the "best boyfriend" zone if I do that.

But I am telling you guys that I am incapable. Talking to her the way I did today made my friends jaw hit the floor, I have never, ever been so straightforward with a girl before. And trust me, it took a lot of heart for me to do what I did without stuttering or looking like a moron.

I will agree though that I may be over thinking the whole "no thanks" thing since she was laughing and joking with me about it. But that makes me even more scared that if, when, I do ask her out on a DATE that I will freaking crash if she says no.

I almost want to wait until her last week here is over before initiating any dating plans just because I wouldn't want any awkwardness if she says no. Yes I have to think positive but I'm also being realistic. I'm not even frontin when I say she is a bombshell, this isn't some nerdy shit where any girl=OMG. I can talk to girls fine and have many female friends, just when I like a girl I freeze. That's what makes it so much more difficult for me personally.

I grew a little today but I know that I have a long way to go, until the point where I can talk to her or any other girl without trembling. It's hard. So how do I go about keeping her interested and talking without asking her if she wants a coffee everyday? Act like normal?

Yeah just focus on relaxing and having fun conversations with her for a while. Ask her out once more sometime later and if she says no again, move on to someone else.

 

[SpectreFire]

The whole point is...I feel "butthurt" for lack of a better word. I'm confused as to where I'm supposed tot take this now. One of my friends said that I should keep asking her like you guys are saying, but how am I supposed to do it without being seen as a creep or desperate? I don't understand why this has to be so complicated. A simple YES or NO would suffice.

All I know now though is that I'd like to befriend her even more and actually start doing things together instead of just saying "lets go out". That's the whole reason I did the coffee thing. I was going to ask her to a dinner and movie but then realized I was way in over my head and choked. I came and told you guys and with some encouragement I went back and took a breather and then thought of the iced coffee idea.

I don't feel comfortable asking her out right now since I barely know her(We only started clicking the last couple months). But I don't want to risk the thought of another guy going after her while I'm trying to make friends>do things together>ask her out. I know I also risk the chance of being put in the "best boyfriend" zone if I do that.

But I am telling you guys that I am incapable. Talking to her the way I did today made my friends jaw hit the floor, I have never, ever been so straightforward with a girl before. And trust me, it took a lot of heart for me to do what I did without stuttering or looking like a moron.

I will agree though that I may be over thinking the whole "no thanks" thing since she was laughing and joking with me about it. But that makes me even more scared that if, when, I do ask her out on a DATE that I will freaking crash if she says no.

I almost want to wait until her last week here is over before initiating any dating plans just because I wouldn't want any awkwardness if she says no. Yes I have to think positive but I'm also being realistic. I'm not even frontin when I say she is a bombshell, this isn't some nerdy shit where any girl=OMG. I can talk to girls fine and have many female friends, just when I like a girl I freeze. That's what makes it so much more difficult for me personally.

I grew a little today but I know that I have a long way to go, until the point where I can talk to her or any other girl without trembling. It's hard. So how do I go about keeping her interested and talking without asking her if she wants a coffee everyday? Act like normal?

Fuck.

I always tell people, the rule is that nothing good ever jumps into your arms, if you want something, you have to work for it.

But you, you son of a bitch, you got the fucking exception to that rule. According to you, that girl just literally jumped into your arms. If this happened to anyone... anyone else, they wouldn't here on NeoGAF right now asking "what should I do?".

No, they would be in bed, with her, doing the god damn nasties.

All you need to do is say yes. Stop thinking, just stop and just go and say yes to her. That is all you need to do.

Either hit that this week, or someone else will.

 

[CrushDance]

You realize I'm a virgin right? I got low esteem? am overweight? This isn't easy for me and just the though of sex makes me want to faint. Let alone going all out in bed >_>

 

[Aurelius]

You realize I'm a virgin right? I got low esteem? am overweight? This isn't easy for me and just the though of sex makes me want to faint. Let alone going all out in bed >_>

You haven't been on a first date with her yet.
Stop thinking about sex.

 

[SpectreFire]

You realize I'm a virgin right? I got low esteem? am overweight? This isn't easy for me and just the though of sex makes me want to faint. Let alone going all out in bed >_>

And you have what you're stating is a super attractive girl hitting on you. Hard.

If that doesn't boost your confidence, nothing will.