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[TheVampire]

Whats the best way to progress to meeting girls in real life from online dating sites?

Ive never had a girlfriend before and ive started getting on dating sites like PlentyofFish and Okcupid.
I have been talking to 3 girls for the past 2 weeks, sending messages back and forward, so when do I take it to the next step?

As in talking on the phone to then meeting in real life?

Also when thinking about these next steps I feel a bit awkward when there are probably 30 other guys talking to the same girls aswell on the sites

 

[Wanace]

Whats the best way to progress to meeting girls in real life from online dating sites?

Ive never had a girlfriend before and ive started getting on dating sites like PlentyofFish and Okcupid.
I have been talking to 3 girls for the past 2 weeks, sending messages back and forward, so when do I take it to the next step?

As in talking on the phone to then meeting in real life?

Also when thinking about these next steps I feel a bit awkward when there are probably 30 other guys talking to the same girls aswell on the sites

2 weeks? I would've escalated it after 2 days, or less. Have you gotten a phone number or anything yet? Just write "Hey, let's go have coffee sometime. Here's my number, what's yours?" Then when she gives you her number, just call her or whatever and set up a meeting.

As far as talking to 30 other guys, those guys have either already gone out with them multiple times in the 2 weeks you've been sitting around, or they just don't exist.

 

[The Elite]

If any of you guys are really nervous about talking to a girl just imagine her taking a really nasty dump. Thinking about her muscles tensing and her face scrunching up as she forces out a particularly nasty turd.

Trust me, they've all been there. Now you're on an equal playing field.

To everyone with a low self esteem, here is a list of the following types of people who have girlfriends:
1) Murderers (including the serial variety)
2) Rapists
3) Pedophiles
4) Guys in a persistent vegitative state
5) Eunichs
6) Catholic priests who'll only do missionary after marriage (unless you're a 5 year old boy)

If you really don't think you are "a better catch" than any of those, then you need to rethink your self-image. To those who are like "what if I'm not good enough for her?" well what if you not dating her leads her to date some domestic abuser? Yeah, good going yo. The girl you're falling for is now getting beat on a daily basis.

But do you want to date anyone who would date one of these people.

 

[practice02]

rofl, love subtle humor.

I'm glad somebody got it.

 

[BladeWorker]

As far as talking to 30 other guys, those guys have either already gone out with them multiple times in the 2 weeks you've been sitting around, or they just don't exist.

Seriously. Divide by 10. That's a more likely number.

 

[Mike Works]

Whats the best way to progress to meeting girls in real life from online dating sites?

Ive never had a girlfriend before and ive started getting on dating sites like PlentyofFish and Okcupid.
I have been talking to 3 girls for the past 2 weeks, sending messages back and forward, so when do I take it to the next step?

As in talking on the phone to then meeting in real life?

Also when thinking about these next steps I feel a bit awkward when there are probably 30 other guys talking to the same girls aswell on the sites

I met my current girlfriend on Plenty of Fish. Meeting women through the site (and I assume Okcupid and others like it) has it's pros and cons, so you just have to recognize what they are and exploit the former while avoiding the latter.

When you say that you've been talking to a girl (or three) over the past 2 weeks, that period of time could be completely different for each of them. Some girls will message you (back) within hours. Some girls take days to get back to you. So 2 weeks could be 4 messages or it could be 40.

When it comes to the actual messages, I find it best to use them to:

A) Ask a girl about herself and her interests.
B) Display humor.
C) Repeat A) and B).

Start off making very light jokes (girls often get a TON of creepy fucking messages from creepy fuckers on these sites, so you might want to hold off on the dead baby jokes- AS FUNNY AS I'M SURE THEY ARE- until later) and getting to know each other's basic info (ie what she does for a living, what she enjoys doing... it's good to look at her profile and talk about something specific on there).

After you've done that for a short while, casually bring up meeting together. Fuck the phone number and phone calls, that's just a bloated, unnecessary step. Tell her that you're new to the whole online dating website thing and ask her if she is too. Then, regardless of her answer, propose that you two meet up for coffee. That's all you have to do.

It can be hard to "read" women online (ain't saying that it's easy in real life, but you know), but just try your best. After you've sent a girl a handful of messages, ask yourself if you're progressing toward meeting her, or if you're just having a pointless online conversation. If you're thinking that's the case, then man up and ask her out to coffee. It's really doable.

 

[mcrae]

So you're a pussy?

There aren't any games or pretending to be someone else. The most common advice is always be yourself. The problem is that it's not a universal solution. Being yourself will have you be more comfortable and will make sure she likes you for who you are. But for some people, being yourself means scaring everyone off with your manga collection and strange self-pity quirks, and you get no one.

So if what you're saying is true and you really are just a pussy, give up with the gym and whatever else you're doing, and scare this girl away with who you really are.

Or, you know, keep your chin up, have a sense of humor about yourself, and let your balls drop. Why are you talking like you have to be different with her in social situations than you are with anyone else? She doesn't deserve or want that pedestal.

This thread could really do without all the "lol ur a nerd!? pretend not to be if u want women" shit. Self-pity quirks are pretty much a universal turn-off but manga collections aren't necessarily. If you're self-confident and don't automatically assume a manga collection will make people turn away in disgust, they probably won't turn away in disgust. Exude confidence and don't be a creep, and it doesn't matter how many nerdy hobbies you have. That's how it's always looked to me.

Actually, it's having the confidence to be YOU that matters. It's not she who should be proud of you, you must be proud of you.

It's not "lol ur a nerd" macho talk. In most situations, you're either deeply ashamed of your collection when it comes to a woman seeing it, or she'll be scared of it.

I guess I didn't make the connection stronger, but I put that there as sort of a tie to the self-pitying problem. There are so many guys on GAF in the cribs threads that have the nerdiest rooms, but they're doing totally fine with the ladies. It's because they're confident about it and well-rounded with other interests.

You know the best way to become a more well-rounded person while still keeping your nerd cred? Pick up cycling. You'll get in shape, you'll be doing something outdoors, and you'll have an icebreaker when you find other fit women riding. "Nice bike!" shouted to a stranger goes over much better than any of the other more creeper things you can yell at a woman.

It is all about self confidence, and its not easy to get, but when you do it works wonders. A large part of it, for me at least, is the certainty that no matter what life throws my way, I will deal with it somehow. Being confident enough to not really be scared of anything is great, although that doesn't for an instant mean not being worried or concerned if something bad is happening.

Ask her out. Whats the worst that can happen? She says no? Alright, so that makes things awkward between you for a few days, but its nothing that you can't deal with. It'll pass in less then a week, and then stuff will be mostly back to normal. And if she says yes? Then your gamble pays off!

you know, i've read the same thoughts for 20-30 of the last 100 pages, but it only really just now clicked. texted the girl from work who i wasnt sure about today, and she knows for sure that i'm interested, depending on whether she is, and i'm pretty confident with the way i worded it and while it would be nice for something to come of it... i'm ok if it doesnt, millions of fish in the pond

thx folks.

 

[Combine]

Oh boy, lots to answer to

Okay, here's your problem, honestly: From the way you described your night, you are giving off "creepy" vibes. It doesn't matter if you just say "hi" or "can I grab your titties?" Either thing will get you shut down. It doesn't matter what you say, it's HOW you say it.

I agree, thinking back on it now I probably was pretty creepy. I mean all I did was just either stand or sit in the same spot for a while, moving around sometimes, but no doubt extremely awkwardly and uncertain. If anyone happened to see me doing that throughout the night they probably would be wise to be extremely wary of me and not want anything to do with me. But, I guess I just have a hard time trying to fit in.

Talking to people is a lot like comedy, sure the content needs to be there, but everything is in the delivery and execution. If you can pull off the charm then people will stay interested in the conversation. Be irreverent, be aloof. Don't ever take the whole situation too seriously. Humour is your best friend. If you can people laugh, then it doesn't matter who you are, people will gravitate towards you. Also, I think you should post your picture here. At this point, I don't think we can do anymore unless we see what you look like. We need to know if girls are being turned off because you come off just as an awkward fuck, or if it's physical (your attire, posture, style etc.)

I'm not good at speaking when it comes to small talk and regular speak. I speak fine when I'm talking about work-related issues and such. At least, that's what I think, I don't know, I've never really received feedback on speaking before. I'm probably not very funny. I have little to no charm otherwise.

I still will not post my picture. I might be ok with the regular posters in this thread, but I'm not fine with all the lurkers. I send my pics out through PM's anyway.

Bullshit. I'd hang out with you.

(and no, not out of pity or something either.)

Well, that's very nice of you to say. It's sad I can only seem to garner these types of responses online though.

IDK just a thought. I think you need to practice before going to Bars by yourself. Honestly if someone just came up to me and a group a friends and just said "hi" i would be a little creeped out too. You can meet people in a lot of places, don't just settle for Bars because you're 29 and you think that's where everyone meets people. I've met while shopping before and I'm 25.

Just don't do groups of girls or girls with bfs/husbands with them. You will get get stares from the rest of the crowd, which isn't want you want.

I go shopping pretty frequently (need milk very often these days, lol), but I've never encountered anyone that way, other than the cashiers. Last cashier I encountered was a girl, but she was so busy and out of it she didn't look like she wanted to engage in small talk. I could only give her the usual polite sayings during the transaction. I've never seen an opportunity to talk to someone in a store. I don't know where you guys find them.

No, imagine you posted a picture and some Gaffer saw you in real life, they would run toward you to help you. It's a reoccurring theme in this thread and to think that people out to get you is a bad case of paranoia. You really have some serious trust issues if you think posting a picture will destroy your social life...a social life you currently don't even have.

Spoiler

You can seriously can get some pity fucks out of this.

No, not my current social life obviously, since you accurately pointed out I have none. But any future opportunities, and not just socially, but also career-wise as well. Imagine if a recruiter found out about this thread and put it together that I was the applicant? Do you honestly believe any HR person wouldn't just chuck my application out right then and there?

 

[akachan ningen]

No, not my current social life obviously, since you accurately pointed out I have none. But any future opportunities, and not just socially, but also career-wise as well. Imagine if a recruiter found out about this thread and put it together that I was the applicant? Do you honestly believe any HR person wouldn't just chuck my application out right then and there?

Is this a normal thing with you? Thinking up scenarios that are incredibly unlikely? I'm not saying you posting your pic in necessary because it's not but you gotta be realistic in general instead of dramatizing every little thing.

 

[SpectreFire]

A) Ask a girl about herself and her interests.
B) Display humor.
C) Repeat A) and B).

Pretty much this.

Humour can work miracles. It's one thing to make a girl swoon, it's a whole nother story making them laugh. If you can get them to legitimately laugh, you're in the clear.

Also, Mike's right, I've talked to my fair share of (Vancouver)ladies from those sites, and the general consensus is that there's an obscene amount of creepy guys there. If you can come off as intelligent, not desperate, and funny, then you'll at least get a reply.

Also, I'd like to hear Mike's numbers on this, but from I've seen from personal experience and others, it's a numbers game. You'll probably send out 10 messages and maybe get one reply back. I think the best method of going about it, and this is at least how I do it, is to not go in expecting to find a girlfriend. Go in and just meet some new people, the less serious you take it, the more natural the conversations will flow and the less awkward it'll get for both parties involved.

 

[SpectreFire]

I'm not good at speaking when it comes to small talk and regular speak. I speak fine when I'm talking about work-related issues and such. At least, that's what I think, I don't know, I've never really received feedback on speaking before. I'm probably not very funny. I have little to no charm otherwise.

I still will not post my picture. I might be ok with the regular posters in this thread, but I'm not fine with all the lurkers. I send my pics out through PM's anyway.

PM me, your pic, I want to see what you look like, because like I said, I need to to figure out where exactly you're going wrong.

Also, here's a suggestion. Take improv classes. It'll be a great place to meet new people, you'll learn a sense of humour, and most importantly, improv is excellent at teaching you how to read people and react accordingly. You don't have to worry about looking like an idiot because that's the whole point, it's comedy, let loose, have fun and learn some very important lessons.

 

[CrushDance]

Right, so as I thought, she wasn't working today and I had no chance to talk. I didn't do anything over Myspace either and I'm happy as can be. But I've finally manned up after some inner thinking and looking back on the last two girls who hit on me and I never answered them. I don't want anymore "what ifs" as I'm 22 years old now and it's time I become a man about this.

I still am wondering what I'll do if she says no and how that'll affect our work relationship...I'm able to be mature about it myself. But I'm not sure how she'll take it, be it feeling put on the spot, thinking I talk about her behind her back or whatever. Really I don't want to make her feel uneasy at all.

So anyway. The next time we work together, I'm going to try and fine a single moment where there's nobody around us and ask her if she'd like to go out with me. I talked with one of my female friends and she told me that I should be blunt and TELL what I want and not give mixed signals. Apparently that's how she ended up with her boyfriend and past ones.

So I'mma do this shit. I'll just say it straight up and hope for the best.

 

[Aurelius]

Small update about my situation with the women at work.

Girl A who I just met but who is already in a relationship:
We talk often and send e-mails to each other. So our bound is getting stronger, but she is still undecided about her own relationship. She is honest with her boyfriend about spending time with me and that as already let to a fight between them. I told her I feel uncomfortable if us seeing each other is influencing her relationship. She has to make the decision to end or continue it for herself. She told me not to worry about it. Fine with me.

So basically, I stirred our relationship into the friends zone (for now). And that feels damn comfortable. For once, I’m in control. Taking this position as resulted in her taking the initiative to see each other more often than me. I’m not over thinking and planning everything but just going along for the ride. And not getting emotionally attached to soon and not putting the pussy on a pedestal. If she decides to end her relationship, I will move out of the friends zone. But if not, I’m comfortable staying in it for my own peace of mind. We have good conversations, we enjoy each others company and have a common hobby: photography. That’s enough with this girl.

Girl B who I cheated with, feel in love with and got dumped by:
Complete opposite situation. Still in love with her and missing her terribly. I am still pursuing a friendship with her, and hoping for more. She says she still wants to be friends but is putting minimal effort in it. Short conversations and e-mails, or no reply at all. But every time I thinks “this is it, it’s over” she seems to feel that and sends me and e-mail or a text. This morning an invitation to have lunch on Friday.

I know she has her own problems and that she closes off people around her when she’s overwhelmed by them. So she is not hurting me on purpose, I’m just not that important to her anymore. I would basically do anything for her I she asked for help. If I asked for help, I would be lucky to get a reply. I realize I’m hurting myself by still clinging on to her. It’s very unhealthy but I can’t seem to stop myself.

But I’m noticing that even though I’m unable to stop it, I am beginning to treat this whole situation as a learning experience. To test how I reacted and still behave in certain situations. Basically, going through hell with Girl B is helping me to maintain a healthier relationship with Girl A (and hopefully future women I meet). In a way, I’m using her. And after the way she used me that kind of feels like payback. Or at least a small return on the emotional investment I put into her.

 

[SmokeMaxX]

But do you want to date anyone who would date one of these people.

You'd be surprised at the amount of good girls that fall for those kinds of guys.

 

[Aurelius]

I still am wondering what I'll do if she says no and how that'll affect our work relationship...I'm able to be mature about it myself. But I'm not sure how she'll take it, be it feeling put on the spot, thinking I talk about her behind her back or whatever. Really I don't want to make her feel uneasy at all.

Don’t worry about that. Listen to your female friend. Just make sure that your expectation match the way you ask her out. So ask her out because you want to have a drink with her and spend some time together. Do NOT ask her out with an undertone that you want to marry her and make babies. Women feel that shit and it creeps them out. And then it gets uneasy! Keep it casual! This will also help you enjoy your date a lot more.

If she says no, you haven’t lost a lot. Just brush it off and move on. You said yourself that you have to organize it if you want to see her at work. Don’t do that anymore. And If you run into each other, just say “Hi” and ask how she is doing. You are the only one who can make this situation uncomfortable. So don’t!

 

[profit]

GAF I need someone's neutral opinion on this. Next monday I'm going on a date with a girl. I actually know her for a quite a while but we had lost contact for a few years. A few months ago we met each other again and have been having some great times together. We have always joked together each time we went out that we were on a date again and again.

So these last couple of weeks she has been very busy with school but this saturday when I was at her place I said to her: You know what? next monday when you are done with school we are going on a real date, you decide what we do the entire day and at the end of the day we're going out for a romantic dinner! She immediately agreed and I returned home. The next day I texted her to see if she was still interested and she said she was thinking about what we could do that day.

Usually I'm quite a negative thinker, but she knows how I feel about her and I'm just thinking, if there is no interest at all, then she could have easily blown me off....

Sorry for the terribad english, if you guys need some kind of explanation, dont hesitate to ask!

 

[SmokeMaxX]

GAF I need someone's neutral opinion on this. Next monday I'm going on a date with a girl. I actually know her for a quite a while but we had lost contact for a few years. A few months ago we met each other again and have been having some great times together. We have always joked together each time we went out that we were on a date again and again.

So these last couple of weeks she has been very busy with school but this saturday when I was at her place I said to her: You know what? next monday when you are done with school we are going on a real date, you decide what we do the entire day and at the end of the day we're going out for a romantic dinner! She immediately agreed and I returned home. The next day I texted her to see if she was still interested and she said she was thinking about what we could do that day.

Usually I'm quite a negative thinker, but she knows how I feel about her and I'm just thinking, if there is no interest at all, then she could have easily blown me off....

Sorry for the terribad english, if you guys need some kind of explanation, dont hesitate to ask!

I'd personally say that if she doesn't think of something to do (and fast), you plan out the day. Most girls like guys that take command. Your willingness to give her the "choice" of what to do for your date seems noble, but in reality counts as a mark against you with girls.

 

[profit]

I'd personally say that if she doesn't think of something to do (and fast), you plan out the day. Most girls like guys that take command. Your willingness to give her the "choice" of what to do for your date seems noble, but in reality counts as a mark against you with girls.

You know, I was actually thinking about that... Thanks for the advice guess I have some planning to do

 

[Aurelius]

It's easy for me top be comfortable at work and talk to people. But everyday when I come home, all I do is game and maybe watch a movie or something to relax. I'm not sure if that's a lifestyle that must guys lead! And not to bring up the race thing again, but I'm also wary off knuckle heads saying shit and her getting involved. I don't drink and like I said, she's one of the cool girls and I'm the poor guy. Yes I make friends easily and I usually end up with friends of all types...but I can't help but think HOW to act if we were to go to a social outting, you know?

You know, I’ve been where you are. And sometimes I’m still scared to dead to reverse back to that kind of behaviour. But it’s not that difficult to turn things around. Just take small steps. It's all about building self-confidence and stopping feeling sorry for yourself.

There is nothing wrong with have “nerdy” hobbies. I like playing videogames and watching movies myself. But like everything else in life, it’s wrong If you spend too much time at it and use it as a mean to compensate a feeling of unhappiness in your life. It’s all about balance. If I play a couple of hours of Red Dead Redemption or Left4Dead I feel fulfilled. In the past, when I played a whole day I felt like I had wasted that day (and my life).

Good that you are going to the gym. This will improve your self-confidence and give you more energy. Do not use and iPod while exercising. Concentrate on what you are doing at the moment. This will help you to change your behaviour to over think things. Also, it prevents you from shutting out other people at the gym. Try out some small talk, ask for advice, compliment females on their nice butts. Look at the notice board at the gym if people are offering lessons. I’m taking my first boxing lesson this Thursday. Good way to meet people!

Finally, get out of the house! I found out that picking up photography as a hobby is a great way to do that. Not only are you motivated to look for nice places in your surrounding area, It’s also apparently perfectly socially acceptable to go somewhere alone when you have a big ass camera around your neck.

 

[Darren870]

You know, I was actually thinking about that... Thanks for the advice guess I have some planning to do

Exactly, you are suppose to plan not her. If she doesn't think of something by the end of the week you should suggest something. Or say you have it planned out already and it will be a surprise.

 

[SmokeMaxX]

You know, I was actually thinking about that... Thanks for the advice guess I have some planning to do

Let us know how it goes!

 

[Gaaraz]

Pisses me off though, why can't they just let us know what they want to do?

 

[profit]

Exactly, you are suppose to plan not her. If she doesn't think of something by the end of the week you should suggest something. Or say you have it planned out already and it will be a surprise.

Well I was already thinking of planning something as backup. Letting her plan was actually something I was thinking of because her birthday was two weeks ago, but she was not able to do anything cause she really needed to study.

Let us know how it goes!

Will do! Thanks!

If someone has some ideas, please, share them! I have been out of the dating business for way to long (had a relationship for 2 years and a half; and the way it had ended really turned me off from dating again) and I'm really rusty

Edit:

Pisses me off though, why can't they just let us know what they want to do?

I hear you man! :lol

 

[norinrad]

I just applied for a charity job at a re-validation center by teaching HIV/AIDS patients how to play the Nintendo Wii. Yep the job description was Nintendo Wii Mentor wanted. Basically i get to hang out with them, play games for laughs and just keep them company a few hours in the weekend.

I saw the ad and said to myself, f**k yeah i get to help others and meet new people at the same time, so i went for it.

Combine/CrushDance, why don't you guys try for some charity jobs? You will feel good while helping others and it will help you get to know new people too.

 

[Gaaraz]

With regards to date ideas I have no clue. I was seeing a girl, everything was going well and she was really into me, took her to a theme park along with my mate and his gf which I thought would be a pretty ace idea for a date, but it went horribly and pathetically wrong after that, even though we seemed to have a really good day.

So maybe stick to the usual; cinema, a bar/pub, out for just a coffee, day out to the beach, a gig or something. idk what kind of stuff is she into?

 

[Mike Works]

Also, Mike's right, I've talked to my fair share of (Vancouver)ladies from those sites, and the general consensus is that there's an obscene amount of creepy guys there. If you can come off as intelligent, not desperate, and funny, then you'll at least get a reply.

Also, I'd like to hear Mike's numbers on this, but from I've seen from personal experience and others, it's a numbers game. You'll probably send out 10 messages and maybe get one reply back. I think the best method of going about it, and this is at least how I do it, is to not go in expecting to find a girlfriend. Go in and just meet some new people, the less serious you take it, the more natural the conversations will flow and the less awkward it'll get for both parties involved.

I gotta be honest, the main reason I joined Plenty of Fish is because, well, it was a great way to keep from getting bored whenever I had free time on the internet. I was pretty skeptical about online dating, especially considering I don't have much trouble with meeting girls in my (normal) social life, so I joined the site with next to no expectations in terms of getting anything substantial out of it.

So whenever I was online and bored, I'd skim through lots of profiles and send a quick message to any girl I found cute. Just a sentence or two, usually pertaining to something about their profile. I'd say your 1 in 10 reply stat was probably pretty accurate with me too. It actually is a lot like fishing: you're not going to get a bite every time you cast your line.

But yeah, for anyone considering it, I'd totally consider it a backup; concentrate on meeting women in real life, and just do the online thing for kicks. That way you'll do it with lowered expectations, which in turn should potentially increase your odds of properly connecting with someone (ie not fuck up).

I gotta be honest, I kinda miss using that site now. It was a great way to waste 10 minutes.

Right, so as I thought, she wasn't working today and I had no chance to talk. I didn't do anything over Myspace either and I'm happy as can be. But I've finally manned up after some inner thinking and looking back on the last two girls who hit on me and I never answered them. I don't want anymore "what ifs" as I'm 22 years old now and it's time I become a man about this.

Great line of thinking. This is confidence you're starting to create for yourself, and it's invaluable.

I still am wondering what I'll do if she says no and how that'll affect our work relationship...I'm able to be mature about it myself. But I'm not sure how she'll take it, be it feeling put on the spot, thinking I talk about her behind her back or whatever. Really I don't want to make her feel uneasy at all.

You really, really don't seem like the kind of guy that people (would assume) might talk about others behind their back. Don't worry about any of this: you've made up your mind to ask her out, so 100% of your concentration should be on succeeding with this goal.

So anyway. The next time we work together, I'm going to try and fine a single moment where there's nobody around us and ask her if she'd like to go out with me. I talked with one of my female friends and she told me that I should be blunt and TELL what I want and not give mixed signals. Apparently that's how she ended up with her boyfriend and past ones.

That's very good advice your friend gave you. Let me expand on this and give you some more advice:

Telling her what you want is good, but make sure you do it in a very short amount of time. Do not give her some long spiel about how you've had feelings for her for a long time, how you've thought about doing this for a while, etc. No elongated explanation allowed.

Remember, all you need to tell her is that if she's free on [specific day], you want to take her out on a date. You can add a little quip about how you probably/maybe should have done this sooner, but that's it; let her respond.

The more succinct and casual you are, the less big of a deal (you asking her out) will seem like to you in her eyes, and that's a good thing, that's what you want.

So I'mma do this shit. I'll just say it straight up and hope for the best.

Good luck dude. If you have second thoughts about this between now and when you're planning on doing this, that's okay. Let those thoughts happen, and then once you're ready to renegotiate whether or not you're ready to do this, just look back at the post you made today.

Every guy has to go for it sometime. Why wait?

 

[Mike Works]

GAF I need someone's neutral opinion on this. Next monday I'm going on a date with a girl. I actually know her for a quite a while but we had lost contact for a few years. A few months ago we met each other again and have been having some great times together. We have always joked together each time we went out that we were on a date again and again.

So these last couple of weeks she has been very busy with school but this saturday when I was at her place I said to her: You know what? next monday when you are done with school we are going on a real date, you decide what we do the entire day and at the end of the day we're going out for a romantic dinner! She immediately agreed and I returned home. The next day I texted her to see if she was still interested and she said she was thinking about what we could do that day.

Usually I'm quite a negative thinker, but she knows how I feel about her and I'm just thinking, if there is no interest at all, then she could have easily blown me off....

Sorry for the terribad english, if you guys need some kind of explanation, dont hesitate to ask!

Don't be a negative thinker about this situation. You asked her out, suggested a date and a romantic dinner, and she immediately said yes. No matter how worried you are about the date suggestion portion, she said yes to a romantic dinner. Remember that.

As for the date portion aspect, here's what I think you could do:

Next time you see her, ask her if she's come up with an idea for the date part yet. Give her a few seconds to reply and read her response. Unless her eyes light up and she says yes and presents a specific idea, then it's time for you to step up.

So if she says something like "well, I don't know" or "I'm still not sure" or something along those lines, this is what I want you to say:

"Alright, this is what we're going to do. [point form date details that you will come up with go here]. And then after we're done that, I'm going to take you to [specific restaurant] so we can have that dinner together. Sound good?"

That should work.

As for actual date ideas, you're in a somewhat unique position in that you're not meeting this girl for the first or second time, so the usual coffee shop type ideas might not work. Plus, even though you of course do still want to talk to her, that aspect of the date might not be as vital as it normally is; physical contact may be more important since she already feels comfortable around you.

I'll let others offer up suggestions in this thread, but as a fall-back, remember this: going for a walk in a nice area of your city is rarely a bad idea. But, given that you already know this girl's interests, maybe you can come up with something more specific to her. Good luck.

 

[profit]

Don't be a negative thinker about this situation. You asked her out, suggested a date and a romantic dinner, and she immediately said yes. No matter how worried you are about the date suggestion portion, she said yes to a romantic dinner. Remember that.

I think I'm more afraid that I am already to much in to a "friend" zone if you know what I mean. Guess I dont want to get my hopes up to much.

As for actual date ideas, you're in a somewhat unique position in that you're not meeting this girl for the first or second time, so the usual coffee shop type ideas might not work. Plus, even though you of course do still want to talk to her, that aspect of the date might not be as vital as it normally is; physical contact may be more important since she already feels comfortable around you.

I'll let others offer up suggestions in this thread, but as a fall-back, remember this: going for a walk in a nice area of your city is rarely a bad idea. But, given that you already know this girl's interests, maybe you can come up with something more specific to her. Good luck.

Well we already have gone to the cinema together, loads of walks and talks. The first time we saw each other again we were only going to a small chrismas "party" in the city where you can drink and buy small things (something like a market), and ended up walking the entire night and nothing but talking and we even went out to a club that very night. We share a lot of interests. We met each other for the first time when I was like 17 (22 soon to be 23 now) and even then we had a lot of the same interests and always liked each other a lot. We actually dated back then but for a very short time, but when I was on holiday some "friends" of mine were spreading rumors I was only using her for sex (even though we didnt even do anything at that time). She agrees that she was very naive back then though.

With regards to date ideas I have no clue. I was seeing a girl, everything was going well and she was really into me, took her to a theme park along with my mate and his gf which I thought would be a pretty ace idea for a date, but it went horribly and pathetically wrong after that, even though we seemed to have a really good day.

So maybe stick to the usual; cinema, a bar/pub, out for just a coffee, day out to the beach, a gig or something. idk what kind of stuff is she into?

I'm sorry to hear about that girl ...

We have done the usual stuff loads of times, I'm really trying to think of something special to do here.....

Thanks a bunch everyone for the advice, its helping me a lot here! Still a bit blank on ideas though....

 

[Mr.Squirrel]

Maybe. I'm not sure. I think it's a pretty valid term yeah, and no doubt a very useful thing to be good at (something I certainly wish I was better at, and am hoping to improve on) but it just seems a bit of a crappy and almost degrading way of putting it. I dunno.

People have a bad perception of what "game" is. They think game is toying with emotions, telling lies, and being deceitful. The definition of game is a contest with rules to determine a winner. If you know the rules (be confident, stop sweating bitches, don't be ether_snake) you'll have a good chance of winning. If you go in not knowing the rules of the game (like writing a crown of sonnets :lol) you'll lose.

People just need to disassociate "game" with a guy going around lying to women. Everyone I know always had the same policy that I had, 100% honesty.

 

[Mr.Squirrel]

But do you want to date anyone who would date one of these people.

I think you totally missed his point. Unless you're being sarcastic in which case >.>

 

[Mr.Squirrel]

Pisses me off though, why can't they just let us know what they want to do?

It'll never happen. IMO it goes back to them wanting to for a man to be in control, despite how independent and strong they say they are. Just accept it and move on with your life :lol

 

[SephCast]

People have a bad perception of what "game" is. They think game is toying with emotions, telling lies, and being deceitful. The definition of game is a contest with rules to determine a winner. If you know the rules (be confident, stop sweating bitches, don't be ether_snake) you'll have a good chance of winning. If you go in not knowing the rules of the game (like writing a crown of sonnets :lol) you'll lose.

People just need to disassociate "game" with a guy going around lying to women. Everyone I know always had the same policy that I had, 100% honesty.

B, I think you should tell us your top 5 or 10 rules.

 

[Magik]

Combine/CrushDance, why don't you guys try for some charity jobs? You will feel good while helping others and it will help you get to know new people too.

The idea of Volunteer work has already been suggested. I don't know why they don't try it.

 

[practice02]

With regards to date ideas I have no clue. I was seeing a girl, everything was going well and she was really into me, took her to a theme park along with my mate and his gf which I thought would be a pretty ace idea for a date, but it went horribly and pathetically wrong after that, even though we seemed to have a really good day.

So maybe stick to the usual; cinema, a bar/pub, out for just a coffee, day out to the beach, a gig or something. idk what kind of stuff is she into?

How many dates into the "relationship" was this?

 

[whitehawk]

Ugh a friend found out I hooked up with those 2 girls. Luckily he believes me that i didn't do it, and the girls aren't 100% sure it was me. FML.

 

[mcrae]

Ugh a friend found out I hooked up with those 2 girls. Luckily he believes me that i didn't do it, and the girls aren't 100% sure it was me. FML.

wait, so you're sad the friend found out, then you're happy he believes you when you said you didnt, then you're sad that the girls arent sure it was you?

 

[SmokeMaxX]

wait, so you're sad the friend found out, then you're happy he believes you when you said you didnt, then you're sad that the girls arent sure it was you?

In his defense,

 

[whitehawk]

wait, so you're sad the friend found out, then you're happy he believes you when you said you didnt, then you're sad that the girls arent sure it was you?

Because I'm in grade 12, the girls are in grade 9. (i just turned 18 this year, i think they were 15/16) I feel like shit thinking about it, I hardly remember it. I just wish I could erase what happened. I'm just going to deny it whenever it comes up. It will eventually blow over, but for now I feel like an idiot.

 

[mcrae]

Because I'm in grade 12, the girls are in grade 9. (i just turned 18 this year, i think they were 15/16) I feel like shit thinking about it, I hardly remember it. I just wish I could erase what happened. I'm just going to deny it whenever it comes up. It will eventually blow over, but for now I feel like an idiot.

so shouldnt you be happy that they arent sure it was you?

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

Because I'm in grade 12, the girls are in grade 9. (i just turned 18 this year, i think they were 15/16) I feel like shit thinking about it, I hardly remember it. I just wish I could erase what happened. I'm just going to deny it whenever it comes up. It will eventually blow over, but for now I feel like an idiot.

What the fuck?

A lot of people get nostalgic about high school, but the best part about getting out of it is the stupid reactions to awesome things. Fall in line or the whole school finds out and ostracizes you for doing things older people find amazing.

 

[Pinko Marx]

Ugh a friend found out I hooked up with those 2 girls. Luckily he believes me that i didn't do it, and the girls aren't 100% sure it was me. FML.

Are they ugly girls or something?
Oh. So you fucked a few freshmen. You realize thats what ALL the seniors are doing, right?

 

[whitehawk]

so shouldnt you be happy that they arent sure it was you?

Yeah, I am.

Are they ugly girls or something?
Oh. So you fucked a few freshmen. You realize thats what ALL the seniors are doing, right?

lol no. Just made out with them, at the same time. And I don't really remember what they looked like. Luckily they don't remember what I looked like that well either.

 

[sazabirules]

Are they ugly girls or something?
Oh. So you fucked a few freshmen. You realize thats what ALL the seniors are doing, right?

All he did was kiss them.

 

[Pinko Marx]

So I repeat, are they horribly ugly or something? Otherwise, I don't get what you're getting all worked up over.
You got it on with 2 chicks dude. At the same time.

 

[whitehawk]

So I repeat, are they horribly ugly or something? Otherwise, I don't get what you're getting all worked up over.
You got it on with 2 chicks dude. At the same time.

As far as I remember, no, they were not ugly. But I just feel weird about the whole thing considering I'm quite a bit older than them.

 

[Pinko Marx]

As far as I remember, no, they were not ugly. But I just feel weird about the whole thing considering I'm quite a bit older than them.

Yeah, you'll get over it. Enjoy that young poontang while you still can.

 

[Mr.Squirrel]

B, I think you should tell us your top 5 or 10 rules.

1. Stop caring what woman think
2. Stop lying to yourself
3. Stop caring what woman think
4. Be confident in yourself
5. STOP CARING WHAT WOMAN THINK

As soon as you stop caring what these woman think (OMG she might not like the fact that I play video games T______T) the sooner you'll understand you don't have to impress anyone. Makes talking to women a million times easier.

EDIT Oh and rules 6-10 are whip your dick out :lol

 

[profit]

Ugh, offcourse a complication....
To explain in short, her best friend works in the same building as me, so sometimes I drive her to work.

I just called her best friend to ask which days she wanted to drive together to work and I was talking about the date and her friend goes: Yeah she told me, but she also told me you guys were going out to dinner afterwards, and we actually already had plans for that night she must have forgotten...

So, the date during the day goes on, but I dont want to rush anything, I dont want to cut dinner short or whatever. On one side I should stand up for myself a bit and say: you made plans with me, but on the other hand she already had other plans with her best friend which she goes waaaaaay back with, and I do not want to come between that.

So I called the girl and I explained to her I dont want to rush the day. I do not want to constantly keep watching the clock I just want to relax together and have good time. She replied that we can still do everything but I heard from the sound of her voice she was feeling guilty towards her friend.

well..... I'm absolutely torn. Maybe I should grow some balls, but it just doesn't feel right with me forcing her.

 

[whitehawk]

Yeah, you'll get over it. Enjoy that young poontang while you still can.

Eh.. I hope so. I just feel like this is going to make me look bad if this gets out (ugh yes I know, highschool). This is making me worry too much, ugh.

 

[owlbeak]

Yeah, I am.lol no. Just made out with them, at the same time. And I don't really remember what they looked like. Luckily they don't remember what I looked like that well either.

Since when is "hooking up" just making out? Did I miss something?