Ok, i have to talk about this with someone, i'm shaming myself for what i've done and i don't want to talk of this with people that actually knows me.
Let's start from the begin.
There is this girl, i'm 2 years older than her, she's a common friend of another girl i know.
Lately in the past six months we met quite often due to shared friends, a couple of time we also hang out togheter for a drink and went to the beach on a sunday.
She's quite cute, but i never thought about her as a dating-age girl.You know, just friends.
A month ago my boss told me that i will be on vacation on a week of july, the day after i went out with this girl and another girl that i just saw a couple of time, and talking about vacations we realized we share the same time period of july, so they both asked me to join them in their holiday trip (i didn't had any program yet for my holiday). So i accepted.
In the month that passed i met regularly the two girls, and i start appreciating the first girl (let's call her K.) and actually started thinking of her of something that could be more than a friendship.
8 days ago we left for holidays, and travelling and enjoying beautiful places with K., i really start liking her. At the opposite, the relation with the other girl (let's call her J.) was quite cold, and i mean we tolerate each other, act kindly one to another but never really get in touch.
So, the 5th day of our trip, we went to a party in a disco, atmosphere was were enjoyiable and we start drinking some cocktails. We danced, had fun a keep drinking. At this point we were quite drunk, and while we were on the dancefloor, a guy started (i don't know the word...well he was dancing behind K. touching her butt with is penis, but with his pants still on
), K. quit from him and started kissing J. (DAMN!), but from what i can tell they are not lesbians , they were just "joking".
I watched all this happening and i continued dancing like nothing was happening.
A minute later, the guy came back and started toching K. again.
At this point, i don't know what happended to me.i was very drunk, but i usually keep control of myself. However, i embraced K. and told her " cast him away!", she smiled and said "no!". When she said no i was about to take the guy and beat him straight to the face, but i controlled myself, turned around and went to leave the dancefloor.
J., the other girl, was watching the scene, she stopped me and asked me, totally shocked "but...are u jealous? do you like K.?", i answered "yes", and she told me "than beat the guy with a punch!", i replied "no, i'm don't want to beat anyone, so i'm leaving".
I went out of the disco, and start walking around shamed for what i did.
I had to wait for the girls cause we were with J,'s car.
K send me a text asking "where r u", i replied " out of the disco walking around, i'll wait at the car".
They came out and J. came and told me that she never tought a second i liked K.
The day after we wake up and made breakfast in almost total silence, i was very embarassed and didn't know what to say.i didn't know if K remembered what happened cause she were drunk, bu i didn't ask her.
in the afternoon we went to the beach, and when we were alone, J. asked me why i was so silent. "you know why,i'm ebarassed, did you told K. of yesterday?", she replied "yes, sorry but i was drunk. She came down of knowhere, she too never tought u liked her". she suggested me not to talk about this thing with K. during our vacation, she told me to act normally, like nothing happened, and to have a talk with her once we came back home.
The problem is that i couldn't act like it was nothing, i closed myself in almost total silence for the remining two days.
I can see the ebarass in both the girls.
Now, came back home 6 hours ago and i don't know what to do. I don't have J. phone number to ask her, and i'm too shamed of me for calling K.
We will probably met later due to our common friends, but in the meantime i feel the pain of acting like a total imbecile.
GAF, my ears are open.
