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[sooperkool]

I know that now. Women really don't like men who wait or hesitate. Take my example: on the second evening I went out with this girl she pretty much did anything but say 'i want you to fuck me'. We get to her room and I hesitate because of her somewhat weird behaviour. I fell for this girl because she was incredibly sweet, hot as hell, smart, etc. the first time we met. I hesitated because she acted like, well simply put, a whore. It was surprising to me that this chick apparently thought that she needed to put herself out there like that to impress me. It's weird, but that behaviour had the opposite effect on me and I ended up doing nothing that night. Moron that I am, I even start telling a story on how I unsuccessfully chased a girl in high school, emphasizing how 'i never told anyone this'. I just wanted her to know something personal about me, but I later considered that WHAT i told her was making me very unattractive I overthink stuff all the time, but thát was something I told on a whim, that I should've kept to myself. Also, I subconsciously put her in the friendzone first by doing stuff like this.

I only remembered later that, as she showed me the door, the girl had covered her cleavage with a towel. She must've felt so embarrassed. I thought that she'd give me the time I needed because I was 100% sure she liked me, but next time, after she almost reluctantly went on another dinner with me, I got rejected and acted like a petulant child that didn't get what he wanted. How quickly the tables had turned: now she was in complete control and had no trouble giving me the hug of death.

That was what I was getting at in my previous post: how girls can throw themselves on you one evening, only to close the door the next, throwing away the key too.

I mean, let's reverse the situation: when a girl I'd like shows signs of hesitation towards my moves, but later lets me know she wants to see me again, I'd have no trouble at all giving her another chance. I don't get how women can be so ruthless in this. Even this chick had to see that I only hesitated because I liked her, but no, you get the boot.

Other women who I've told this to say that I'm not to blame for anything and that my behaviour'd be seen as admirable to a woman who was a bit more mature (so do my friends), but I don't know... I still have a hard time accepting that a girl who was all over me, now doesn't want anything to do with me.

I'm slowly understanding now that this chick wasn't nice or sweet, but just a bitch who only saw me as a fling and dropped me like a stone. I actually see myself as a pretty good guy, and I've never been treated like complete trash by a woman before It's something I don't to experience again though.

Because women are people too and you basically acted like a woman when she wanted to jump your bones.

You gave off some vibe that you wanted her and then asked her out. When she then threw herself at you, you rejected her and then you told her some story about another chick you 'friendzoned'. If the tables were turned how would you have reacted to all that?

 

[Creamium]

Because women are people too and you basically acted like a woman when she wanted to jump your bones.

You gave off some vibe that you wanted her and then asked her out. When she then threw herself at you, you rejected her and then you told her some story about another chick you 'friendzoned'. If the tables were turned how would you have reacted to all that?

eh, I was the one getting fz'ed in that story to be clear but! to confuse her even more, I also told a story about a friend I had for years that I actually fz'ed. She must've thought that I was sending signals or code, but I never do. I was rambling on because of the nerves prolly

Yeah I was a complete retard for acting that way and yeah to some extent I deserved that rejection. The evening I tried to hold her she said 'now i know you feel something for me'. I was a complete baffoon because of my insecurity and doubts, I'll give you that. But I don't know... I get a feeling that if she really liked me, she'd at least give me the time I needed, which she didn't. If the tables were turned, I certainly would've given her another chance. It's not like I'd meet a chick anytime soon, I really would've given her all the time she needed I really, really liked her dude. She pretty much could tell me anything and I'd still want to be with her. Until the point she turned me down and started acting like a total bitch that is.

Lessons learned, that's the most important part. This experience was so impactful to me, that I hope/know never to make these mistakes again

 

[Fantasmo]

Hey Combine,

Just a little FYI. You mentioned up there that you don't know if people WANT to talk to you or they are just making time pass, something like that.

The reality is that nobody does! Whenever you have a first conversation with somebody, you don't know what to expect. To one person you might be boring, to another, you might be the greatest/funniest person ever. It's all about preferences. That's why talking and moving subjects around is so useful. Because you may be awkward with someoen at first, but if you hit common ground, you may have just made a new friend.

Swap up topics, stay upbeat, and positive. You're allowed to leave a conversation as much as they are. It's nothing personal, you probably won't relate to most people. And if someone's being a jerk or annoyance, call them out on it or find someone else to talk to. That's the mindset you should have. It really is just that simple.

 

[Combine]

I was in the city today. I realized finally what I think is my biggest and most pressing problem with my personality. I am extraordinarily uncomfortable drawing attention to myself, because I start to have extremely paranoid tendencies when I begin to imagine such negative thoughts regarding how drawing attention to myself would end. Such as thinking that if I draw attention towards myself, I will become a victim of a crime of some sort.

I don't know where this comes from, it's one thing to just want to be left be, but it's an entirely other thing when you start dreaming up some pretty insane scenarios which of course, put you on edge and make you tense (which is probably why I'm so tense in public situations, because I'm actively trying to not draw attention towards myself). Again, I don't know where this came from, other than probably school bully stuff in the past.

I of course, really really want to overcome it, because I want to walk down a busy street in peace of mind and not be subjected to worries of some crazy scenario occurring that I dreamt up in my head. In the end, being at peace and not caring about drawing attention should only help me in these issues of the thread.

 

[TurboLibre]

I was in the city today. I realized finally what I think is my biggest and most pressing problem with my personality. I am extraordinarily uncomfortable drawing attention to myself, because I start to have extremely paranoid tendencies when I begin to imagine such negative thoughts regarding how drawing attention to myself would end. Such as thinking that if I draw attention towards myself, I will become a victim of a crime of some sort.

Really? I would think drawing attention to yourself will make you less likely to be a victim of a crime. If everyone is paying attention to you, this attacker (or whatever) would be putting themselves at a much larger risk then if they went after the shy/quiet guy sitting in the corner alone.

 

[Max@GC]

I was in the city today. I realized finally what I think is my biggest and most pressing problem with my personality. I am extraordinarily uncomfortable drawing attention to myself, because I start to have extremely paranoid tendencies when I begin to imagine such negative thoughts regarding how drawing attention to myself would end. Such as thinking that if I draw attention towards myself, I will become a victim of a crime of some sort.

I don't know where this comes from, it's one thing to just want to be left be, but it's an entirely other thing when you start dreaming up some pretty insane scenarios which of course, put you on edge and make you tense (which is probably why I'm so tense in public situations, because I'm actively trying to not draw attention towards myself). Again, I don't know where this came from, other than probably school bully stuff in the past.

I of course, really really want to overcome it, because I want to walk down a busy street in peace of mind and not be subjected to worries of some crazy scenario occurring that I dreamt up in my head. In the end, being at peace and not caring about drawing attention should only help me in these issues of the thread.

Smoke some weed with a person you´re comfortable with (e.g. your bro) then you both go to a public place you´re comfortable with (that bar maybe) and analyze the situation respectively the mindset you´re in. That positive "everyone is a friend" mindset I was in while being high helped me to understand my mistrust/control issues. Well you also could get even more paranoid while high but fuck it...you have nothing to lose.

 

[owlbeak]

I was in the city today. I realized finally what I think is my biggest and most pressing problem with my personality. I am extraordinarily uncomfortable drawing attention to myself, because I start to have extremely paranoid tendencies when I begin to imagine such negative thoughts regarding how drawing attention to myself would end. Such as thinking that if I draw attention towards myself, I will become a victim of a crime of some sort.

I don't know where this comes from, it's one thing to just want to be left be, but it's an entirely other thing when you start dreaming up some pretty insane scenarios which of course, put you on edge and make you tense (which is probably why I'm so tense in public situations, because I'm actively trying to not draw attention towards myself). Again, I don't know where this came from, other than probably school bully stuff in the past.

I of course, really really want to overcome it, because I want to walk down a busy street in peace of mind and not be subjected to worries of some crazy scenario occurring that I dreamt up in my head. In the end, being at peace and not caring about drawing attention should only help me in these issues of the thread.

This is called generalized social anxiety disorder. I have the same thing man. You need to start telling yourself that those kinds of thoughts are absolutely ridiculous and to be quite honest no one gives a fuck about you going on about your business. They are not paying attention to you.

Klonopin helps, too. But exposure therapy and stuff is the best thing you can do. Get out there and it sucks at first, trust me. But you'll get over it. Just keep telling yourself the thoughts are ridiculous when you start to feel like that. And take a deep breath, exhale slowly for 10 seconds or so. It sounds really stupid but it'll calm you down and let you get your shit together.

 

[disappeared]

This is called generalized social anxiety disorder. I have the same thing man. You need to start telling yourself that those kinds of thoughts are absolutely ridiculous and to be quite honest no one gives a fuck about you going on about your business. They are not paying attention to you.

Klonopin helps, too. But exposure therapy and stuff is the best thing you can do. Get out there and it sucks at first, trust me. But you'll get over it. Just keep telling yourself the thoughts are ridiculous when you start to feel like that. And take a deep breath, exhale slowly for 10 seconds or so. It sounds really stupid but it'll calm you down and let you get your shit together.

Too true. I've suffered with it since about fifteen. Took meds, did the psychiatrist visits... didn't help.

Until finally one day I started to say, "fuck it." Horsebite is right, deep down nobody really gives a shit. The trick is convincing yourself of that. It can take years of self-discipline and building the courage to admit it. The catch is in body language. If you're nervous around people, it will show. And people are bastards and will prey on weakness. You need to reassure yourself that you're just as awesome as the next person. The first step you've taken is admitting that you're awkward and clumsy in these situations. Good. Now what's the next step? Analyzing who you are and what you believe in. Be positive (it sounds stupid, but let me finish). Be positive and respectful to everyone. Take a little pride in who you are and what you stand for. Do that, and it may take years of practice, but do that and you'll be on your way.

There's the old saying, "before you can love others you must learn to love yourself."

 

[SaskBoy]

Ok weird situation here GAF.

About a 8 months ago I got friendzoned' by this girl and felt hurt when she didn't feel the same way about me, blahblahblahblah yeah whatever.

So any I stopped hanging out with her and only see her once in awhile and we hardly talk. Today though I get a text from her saying that her parents want to have supper with mine. Which was weird. I asked why she said "they want to have supper with my friend's parents".

I think the whole situation is just weird and said they couldn't make it. But she seemed pretty insistent.

I don't even know what to think of the situation...

 

[owlbeak]

Too true. I've suffered with it since about fifteen. Took meds, did the psychiatrist visits........

This. Everything disappeared posted was also great advice. I can't really speak to it, and am probably in no position to give advice on the subject. I am currently seeing a therapist about it and trying meds. But the meds aren't going to fix it, I know that. I had OCD when I was in my early teens and had these stupid things I would have to do before going to bed but one night I said "this is so dumb, I am not going to do the ritual stuff tonight and just go to bed". Well, after that night I barely had the impulse to do them the next night, and after a few days I had no urge to do it and never have had an OCD problem since.

I am assuming the same thing with social anxiety. I still have a tough time going out in large social situations, primarily because I live somewhere where I don't know anyone. When I am at home with my friends, I have no problem being out in social situations. But people really could not care less about the fact that you are walking down the street. They don't even pay attention. They'll glance at you and won't even give you a passing thought, the same way you don't about them.

Will embarrassing things happen to you sometimes? Will you make an ass out of yourself sometimes? Yeap. That's part of life, and everyone does it. You just have to learn to laugh at yourself and not fear that something like that is going to happen, because it won't be the end of the world. And if you live in fear of things happening, you're never going to be happy. Trust me.

Once you get this stuff under control, you'll have confidence, and when you have confidence girls know it, and the rest falls into place. But your primary issue should be working on the anxiety and you'll be solid in every other aspect of your life.

 

[Toby]

So normal people aren't always afraid of people making judgments about them?
Is it a problem if you constantly are?

 

[The Technomancer]

So normal people aren't always afraid of people making judgments about them?
Is it a problem if you constantly are?

Yes and no. You should care what people think of you obviously, thats just a common social skill. Or: don't be a dick
But one important thing to realize is that the vast majority of people you run across during your day are never going to remember you. Don't freak out if you make a social blunder or come across as weird, because chances are they don't really care, and you shouldn't either.


*sigh* I had to have the "oh....you like me....I'm sorry, I don't really like you back" talk today. I never enjoy those, but she took it well enough.

 

[G-Bus]

Ohh man. I really really don't get this one girl I've been interested in for almost a year now. I typed up a big wall of text a page back (if your 50) about my troubles with her. Her being really into me but me not making a move and her getting frustrated with me.

We still talk but I seem to be the one who initiates it. I say I'm doing something or mention something coming up and she always jumps at it and says we should go. Make the plans than she backs out right before. Happened twice over the weekend and I finally told her that if she doesn't want to do anything than just say so. She actually blamed me for one occurrence where we were supposed to meet up when she got off work and asked what time I wanted to go. I asked if 5-6 was good for her and she never replied. Apparently she never got my text..... right! I asked her why she just didn't text me when I supposedly didn't reply and I can't remember what she said exactly, but I couldn't help but roll my eyes. Now if she doesn't reply I'm supposed to bug her a bit.

Now I mentioned I was stoked for fireworks this year because I missed them last year and she said lets go and watch them Saturday. At this point I'm not even taking it seriously. I'm going either way so I don't really care. I'm just trying to figure this girl out. What in the fuck does she want.

If she blows this one off I'm done with her. Just plays with my head way to much. If we do end up hanging out I'm going to fucking destroy her :lol

 

[BronzeWolf]

Ohh man. I really really don't get this one girl I've been interested in for almost a year now. I typed up a big wall of text a page back (if your 50) about my troubles with her. Her being really into me but me not making a move and her getting frustrated with me.

We still talk but I seem to be the one who initiates it. I say I'm doing something or mention something coming up and she always jumps at it and says we should go. Make the plans than she backs out right before. Happened twice over the weekend and I finally told her that if she doesn't want to do anything than just say so. She actually blamed me for one occurrence where we were supposed to meet up when she got off work and asked what time I wanted to go. I asked if 5-6 was good for her and she never replied. Apparently she never got my text..... right! I asked her why she just didn't text me when I supposedly didn't reply and I can't remember what she said exactly, but I couldn't help but roll my eyes. Now if she doesn't reply I'm supposed to bug her a bit.

Now I mentioned I was stoked for fireworks this year because I missed them last year and she said lets go and watch them Saturday. At this point I'm not even taking it seriously. I'm going either way so I don't really care. I'm just trying to figure this girl out. What in the fuck does she want.

If she blows this one off I'm done with her. Just plays with my head way to much. If we do end up hanging out I'm going to fucking destroy her :lol

Don't even try to figure out this girl. She is being flaky.

Time to eject dood

 

[G-Bus]

Don't even try to figure out this girl. She is being flaky.

Time to eject dood

I know I know. It's just that if we do hang out I'm getting some. It's how it's always worked out. My dick needs this :lol

But yea, flake. Great way to put it. Dammit.

 

[Furio53]

I know I know. It's just that if we do hang out I'm getting some. It's how it's always worked out. My dick needs this :lol

But yea, flake. Great way to put it. Dammit.

Don't say if you don't want to go then just say so. Just call her out for being a flake. Call her a flake, is the situation going to get any worse than it is? no.


On a side note**

Finally hitting my stride here in Tokyo. Had an epic 3 day weekend, brought a girl home at 9 AM friday night/sat morning, then sunday night went to a club and hooked up with 2 girls in a VIP lounge with bottle service. They were friends and had no idea i was hooking up with the other one haha. Fingered both of them within an hour time span, then at 6am brought the sexier one home with me. Somehow it is all just clicking for me, i barely have to say anything, I just take action. It's pretty incredible

 

[Ultima_5]

Ok weird situation here GAF.

About a 8 months ago I got friendzoned' by this girl and felt hurt when she didn't feel the same way about me, blahblahblahblah yeah whatever.

So any I stopped hanging out with her and only see her once in awhile and we hardly talk. Today though I get a text from her saying that her parents want to have supper with mine. Which was weird. I asked why she said "they want to have supper with my friend's parents".

I think the whole situation is just weird and said they couldn't make it. But she seemed pretty insistent.

I don't even know what to think of the situation...

Maybe she has over protective parents, and they like to screen the parents and you before the will let her date you?

 

[Slo]

Ok weird situation here GAF.

About a 8 months ago I got friendzoned' by this girl and felt hurt when she didn't feel the same way about me, blahblahblahblah yeah whatever.

So any I stopped hanging out with her and only see her once in awhile and we hardly talk. Today though I get a text from her saying that her parents want to have supper with mine. Which was weird. I asked why she said "they want to have supper with my friend's parents".

I think the whole situation is just weird and said they couldn't make it. But she seemed pretty insistent.

I don't even know what to think of the situation...

What does it matter? You don't hang out with her anymore, so why bother jumping through hoops for her?

 

[AFreak]

On a side note**

Finally hitting my stride here in Tokyo. Had an epic 3 day weekend, brought a girl home at 9 AM friday night/sat morning, then sunday night went to a club and hooked up with 2 girls in a VIP lounge with bottle service. They were friends and had no idea i was hooking up with the other one haha. Fingered both of them within an hour time span, then at 6am brought the sexier one home with me. Somehow it is all just clicking for me, i barely have to say anything, I'm just white. It's pretty incredible

fixed for you. i've got the same special powers in china

 

[Furio53]

fixed for you. i've got the same special powers in china

:lol :lol I know. Before I moved here I was like, yeah sure, whatever. I'd heard it. Now... I embrace my whiteness.

 

[AFreak]

:lol :lol I know. Before I moved here I was like, yeah sure, whatever. I'd heard it. Now... I embrace my whiteness.

Nothing wrong with that. I mean, 500 million asian chicks in china. someones got to provide what they really crave. And I don't mind jumping on that grenade for the good of our species.

 

[Resilient]

Guys, word of advice to all of you in relationships and who will soon be in them (because I know how boss you guys are from your stories). Never go back to an ex, ever ever ever. In my experience it is always completely nasty. Just don't ever go back. Even if it's to be friends. Steer fucking clear :lol

 

[Wanace]

Guys, word of advice to all of you in relationships and who will soon be in them (because I know how boss you guys are from your stories). Never go back to an ex, ever ever ever. In my experience it is always completely nasty. Just don't ever go back. Even if it's to be friends. Steer fucking clear :lol

I usually stay away, but sometimes it's fine. As long as either party has no hidden agenda or expectations.

Nothing wrong with that. I mean, 500 million asian chicks in china. someones got to provide what they really crave. And I don't mind jumping on that grenade for the good of our species.

I'm going to China as a student in August. Now THAT will be fun. No work to hold me back!

 

[AFreak]

I usually stay away, but sometimes it's fine. As long as either party has no hidden agenda or expectations.



I'm going to China as a student in August. Now THAT will be fun. No work to hold me back!

BUT BUT BUT...it's my grenade damnit. sorry, but just not enough to go around.

 

[Wanace]

BUT BUT BUT...it's my grenade damnit. sorry, but just not enough to go around.

:lol I think there will be plenty of grenades thrown in both of our directions that we don't need to worry about it.

 

[Mr.City]

Dating two women at once is very interested yet tiring.

 

[EzLink]

Dating two women at once is very interested yet tiring.

I feel the same way about dating zero women at once

Spoiler

oh wait, no I don't

 

[Wanace]

Dating two women at once is very interested yet tiring.

Yeah it gets old fast.

Especially when they pass each other in the stairwell of your apartment complex. Luckily they didn't realize the connection they both had to me. :lol

 

[Resilient]

Well after a very shitty breakup, but a totally needed one, I am now a free agent. The best thing about that relationship was how fucked up it was - that's a bit sad really. All the nasty shit that happened taught me so many things that I would've been unable to learn anywhere else. It was a very solid learning experience, but that is now the book closed on high-school relationships. So thankful that it did not last any further than 19 :lol

 

[EzLink]

Yeah it gets old fast.

Especially when they pass each other in the stairwell of your apartment complex. Luckily they didn't realize the connection they both had to me. :lol

So you were dating two women at once and they didn't know or find out about the other? Damn, I would constantly be on edge if I were trying to pull something like that. That shit sounds really unstable

 

[Furio53]

BUT BUT BUT...it's my grenade damnit. sorry, but just not enough to go around.

Yeah but the added bonus of working here is that we get to jump on that grenade with plenty of money in our pockets

 

[djtiesto]

If you had a great time, let her know by giving her a kiss. I didn't on one of the best dates of my life and that girl slipped through my hands like sand.

So, if you had fun, let her know. Chances are, if you get a kiss, second date is 99% a go, and she had a great time with you too. If not, well, that's the easiest phone call for a second date you didn't have to make.

I remember going on a whole bunch of first dates, where I made out at the end of the night with the girls... but when I called them, they never called me back... another reason why I don't bother with online dating anymore (thankfully I'm not single now).

if you don't want mental troubles.. stay away from Italiaan girls (most noatable Italian-American and Italian Canadian)

lots of beating around the bush and time wasting going nowhere with too many conditions
just stay away

Totally agree with you... I'm Italian-American and the women are total drama queens... I don't want to date a girl that reminds me of my mother unfortunately, where I live most of the girls are Italian.

 

[BronzeWolf]

I wish I had the energy to date many girls at once

I don't I want to do that right now because

1) it's too much of a hassle
2) I can't even find ONE girl I really like, let alone 2 or more. And it';s not even a "get it together" problem. It's just that I am extremely picky

It's an empowering feeling though, dating many girls at once

 

[Wanace]

Yeah but the added bonus of working here is that we get to jump on that grenade with plenty of money in our pockets

I've got plenty of money in my pocket from my 2 years in Korea and I get a stipend from this scholarship.

So you were dating two women at once and they didn't know or find out about the other? Damn, I would constantly be on edge if I were trying to pull something like that. That shit sounds really unstable

Yeah, I'd like to say I had sex with them both on the same day but I never did. I did make out with them and feel them up on the same day though. :lol

It didn't last long because one girl was a total prude. Plus I couldn't handle spending so much time juggling both relationships.

 

[SaskBoy]

Maybe she has over protective parents, and they like to screen the parents and you before the will let her date you?

But I don't want to date her anymore.

I just thought it was weird that she asked considering I flat out ignored her for months.

 

[Wanace]

But I don't want to date her anymore.

I just thought it was weird that she asked considering I flat out ignored her for months.

Don't go to dinner, it'll be awkward and probably some sort of an ambush.

 

[EzLink]

GAF! Question time

I was out for dinner with my mom tonight, and the hostess that seated us was incredibly cute. Over the course of the meal my mom asked if I noticed how she was "checking me out" while seating us (I hadn't noticed, because she was behind me). But on the way out she had this look when I said bye, and golly gee was she gorgeous.

Unfortunately since I was with my mom I didn't do anything. But it was only a couple hours ago... would it be totally ridiculous to call up the restaurant and try to describe the chick, and see if I could talk to her and ask her out over the phone? I feel like I don't have anything to lose, but it seems like an unconventional thing to do and I'll probably never run into this chick again otherwise

 

[demon]

Unfortunately since I was with my mom I didn't do anything. But it was only a couple hours ago... would it be totally ridiculous to call up the restaurant and try to describe the chick, and see if I could talk to her and ask her out over the phone? I feel like I don't have anything to lose, but it seems like an unconventional thing to do and I'll probably never run into this chick again otherwise

Definitely, please do. And post results.

 

[Xun]

Definitely, please do. And post results.

Don't listen to this guy.

I'm sure there are other things you can do, but it's 2:37 am and I'm absolutely shattered so I can't think right now.

 

[EzLink]

Definitely, please do. And post results.

this is one of those times where i'm not sure if you want me to do this for the lulz or because it is legitimately a good idea :lol

Granted it was my mom saying she was checking me out, so of course I had to take it with a grain of salt. But like I said, she did seem to have a particular look in her eye when I left, and I was feeling and acting confident today anyway so it's very possible she took notice of me

Don't listen to this guy.

I'm sure there are other things you can do, but it's 2:37 am and I'm absolutely shattered so I can't think right now.

Not sure what else I could do. Unless I want to drive 20 minutes back to the restaurant and just hope that she is there, but that would be really awkward, maybe even worse than calling

I can be confident on the phone though, and not sound like some desperate freak who didn't have the balls to do it in person. I, in fact, would have done it if I was alone or with a friend

 

[~Kinggi~]

this is one of those times where i'm not sure if you want me to do this for the lulz or because it is legitimately a good idea :lol

Granted it was my mom saying she was checking me out, so of course I had to take it with a grain of salt. But like I said, she did seem to have a particular look in her eye when I left, and I was feeling and acting confident today anyway so it's very possible she took notice of me

You cannot trust hostess or waitress types. They are getting paid to check you out.

 

[Xun]

You cannot trust hostess or waitress types. They are getting paid to check you out.

Badum tsh.

 

[EzLink]

You cannot trust hostess or waitress types. They are getting paid to check you out.

She looked young and fairly innocent, but yeah of course this could be the case. Not the vibe I got, but I've never even been on a date so what the hell do I know? :lol

I also went to my campus again today, so excited to move in next month. Gorgeous ladies left and right. I WILL HAVE A SUCCESS STORY BY THE END OF THE YEAR DAMMIT

 

[SephCast]

Girl that I asked to become my girlfriend, that denied me, asked me to go get drinks tonight. I said no, that I had some stuff to do already. Sure it was just going to the gym, but I'm not going to change my schedule on a whim like that.

At the same time, I said maybe on Thursday, just to keep it open.

In other news, I set up a date with this other girl for this weekend.


My new motto: No hype. No girl is worth the hype. Hype kills.

 

[Pterion]

Girl that I asked to become my girlfriend, that denied me, asked me to go get drinks tonight. I said no, that I had some stuff to do already. Sure it was just going to the gym, but I'm not going to change my schedule on a whim like that.

At the same time, I said maybe on Thursday, just to keep it open.

In other news, I set up a date with this other girl for this weekend.


My new motto: No hype. No girl is worth the hype. Hype kills.

Bail out.

 

[whitehawk]

Am I overthinking this? I'm going to a cottage August 1st and I can easily lose my virginity if I want to, but for some reason I feel weird about it since I've only met this girl once. I think I'm putting too much pressure on the "you always remember your first time" thing, when in reality it doesn't matter too much.

2nd part: I'm really confused about this one (this is a different girl). Same one that I've talked about how we made out a few times and I fingered her, then she made out with another guy and apologized to me. I asked her to hang out, and things came up and we only managed to grab coffee instead of a movie at my place. I asked her if she wanted to hang out again, and she said sure, and she would text me when she knows shes free. It's been about a week since then and no text. I don't understand how she says over and over she wants to hang out, but then puts no effort into making it happen.

 

[Socreges]

Question, guys

Minor update. Messaged the girl four nights ago about going out this Thursday and I haven't heard from her. She agreed to the date initially, so I'm not sure what's going on now. She's been online, too.

How would you handle that? Message her now? Wait until Thursday and then say something (what?)? Or just take this as indication of lack of interest and back off?

I'll probably just shoot her a message tomorrow - not sure what I'd say, though. But she's awesome so I don't want to let this opportunity slip away easily.

 

[Ether_Snake]

Bail out.

How do you bail out of the sea?

 

[Magik]

This is called generalized social anxiety disorder. I have the same thing man. You need to start telling yourself that those kinds of thoughts are absolutely ridiculous and to be quite honest no one gives a fuck about you going on about your business. They are not paying attention to you.

Klonopin helps, too. But exposure therapy and stuff is the best thing you can do. Get out there and it sucks at first, trust me. But you'll get over it. Just keep telling yourself the thoughts are ridiculous when you start to feel like that. And take a deep breath, exhale slowly for 10 seconds or so. It sounds really stupid but it'll calm you down and let you get your shit together.

Listen to Horsebite, Combine. He has it right. At the end of the day, nobody gives a shit about you and what you're doing because everybody has their own business they need to contend with.

Unless you are purposely trying to draw attention towards yourself, or you just happen to be at the wrong place at the wrong time, you'll be fine walking down busy streets.

Start by walking down slightly less busy streets to build up your confidence till you can walk down the busiest streets in your city with ease.

 

[SephCast]

Bail out.

Yeah, seriously? There's nothing to bail out from? I'm playing the field.