Atramental
Banned
Maybe she could hook you up with one of her single friends. Now.. I wouldn't know how to ask such a favor from someone but that's definitely a possibility for you.Combine said:
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Hey Guest. Check out your NeoGAF Wrapped 2025 results here!
Girl/Dating Age: Where to begin?
- Thread starter Combine
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Silicon Knight
Member
Ok GAF, I've got some experiences to share with you. A little disclaimer before I begin: I'm not bragging or looking for advice. I just want to share a profound experience.
As some of you may know, I'm back in the dating game since my ex-fiancee left me over 8 months ago. Since then I've met this fantastic girl. We actually went to high school together, but I didn't really notice her then. I saw her again when she was working at a shop near my house and when I left the shop, I actually wanted to ask her out, but it was close to closing time, so I figured I would give it a shot the next time I would see her there.
Little did I know, that was her last day. I didn't her her number, but I did have her on Twitter, so I decided to do the unthinkable and ask her out via Twitter. Fortunately, she sad yes and since then, we've been on some dates. Even a movie date I've told you guys about and that went really well, so fuck the stigma about movie dates!
Anyway, I felt that she was a little physically (and emotionally) distant to me. When I was over at her place for some dinner, we got a little frisky after dessert and we started to take each others clothes off. Before I could take her shirt off, she told me she had "to tell me something". *cue alarm bells*
The reason why she was holding of the physical contact, was that she has some scars. Then she took off her shirt and bra and I saw some severe burn scars on her back, right upper arm and chest. She was in a car accident ten years ago and got seriously injured. I was the second guy she ever showed this to. She was really scared I would find it repulsive, but I assured her I still think she is drop dead gorgeous. The way she opened herself up really made an impact on me.
Mind you, this girl is really a looker. I think she looks a lot like Hayden Pannetierre, even a little cuter. Who would have thought she would carry a secret like that. We wound up having the most intense sex I've ever experienced. Wow.
Anyway, thanks if you read all this, I don't mind if you didn't. This thread has been of some help for me and I just wanted to share this.
Moral of the story; you never know what's behind a pretty face and every bit of love and confidence you give to someone will eventually be reciprocated.
As some of you may know, I'm back in the dating game since my ex-fiancee left me over 8 months ago. Since then I've met this fantastic girl. We actually went to high school together, but I didn't really notice her then. I saw her again when she was working at a shop near my house and when I left the shop, I actually wanted to ask her out, but it was close to closing time, so I figured I would give it a shot the next time I would see her there.
Little did I know, that was her last day. I didn't her her number, but I did have her on Twitter, so I decided to do the unthinkable and ask her out via Twitter. Fortunately, she sad yes and since then, we've been on some dates. Even a movie date I've told you guys about and that went really well, so fuck the stigma about movie dates!
Anyway, I felt that she was a little physically (and emotionally) distant to me. When I was over at her place for some dinner, we got a little frisky after dessert and we started to take each others clothes off. Before I could take her shirt off, she told me she had "to tell me something". *cue alarm bells*
The reason why she was holding of the physical contact, was that she has some scars. Then she took off her shirt and bra and I saw some severe burn scars on her back, right upper arm and chest. She was in a car accident ten years ago and got seriously injured. I was the second guy she ever showed this to. She was really scared I would find it repulsive, but I assured her I still think she is drop dead gorgeous. The way she opened herself up really made an impact on me.
Mind you, this girl is really a looker. I think she looks a lot like Hayden Pannetierre, even a little cuter. Who would have thought she would carry a secret like that. We wound up having the most intense sex I've ever experienced. Wow.
Anyway, thanks if you read all this, I don't mind if you didn't.
This thread has been of some help for me and I just wanted to share this. Moral of the story; you never know what's behind a pretty face and every bit of love and confidence you give to someone will eventually be reciprocated.
AmericanNinja
Banned
Silicon Knight said:Ok GAF, I've got some experiences to share with you. A little disclaimer before I begin: I'm not bragging or looking for advice. I just want to share a profound experience.
As some of you may know, I'm back in the dating game since my ex-fiancee left me over 8 months ago. Since then I've met this fantastic girl. We actually went to high school together, but I didn't really notice her then. I saw her again when she was working at a shop near my house and when I left the shop, I actually wanted to ask her out, but it was close to closing time, so I figured I would give it a shot the next time I would see her there.
Little did I know, that was her last day. I didn't her her number, but I did have her on Twitter, so I decided to do the unthinkable and ask her out via Twitter. Fortunately, she sad yes and since then, we've been on some dates. Even a movie date I've told you guys about and that went really well, so fuck the stigma about movie dates!
Anyway, I felt that she was a little physically (and emotionally) distant to me. When I was over at her place for some dinner, we got a little frisky after dessert and we started to take each others clothes off. Before I could take her shirt off, she told me she had "to tell me something". *cue alarm bells*
The reason why she was holding of the physical contact, was that she has some scars. The she took off her shirt and bra and I saw some severe burn scars on her back, right upper arm and chest. She was in a car accident ten years ago and got seriously injured. I was the second guy she ever showed this too. She was really scared I would find it repulsive, but I assured her I still think she is drop dead gorgeous. The way she opened herself up really made an impact on me.
Mind you, this girl s really a looker. I think she looks a lot like Hayden Pannetierre, even a little cuter. Who would have thought she would carry a secret like that. We wound up having the most intense sex I've ever experienced. Wow.
Anyway, thanks if you read all this, I don't mind if you didn't.
Moral of the story; you never know what's behind a pretty face and every bit of love and confidence you give to someone will eventually be reciprocated.
cool story, congrats man.
practice02
Banned
I like this story.Silicon Knight said:Ok GAF, I've got some experiences to share with you. A little disclaimer before I begin: I'm not bragging or looking for advice. I just want to share a profound experience.
As some of you may know, I'm back in the dating game since my ex-fiancee left me over 8 months ago. Since then I've met this fantastic girl. We actually went to high school together, but I didn't really notice her then. I saw her again when she was working at a shop near my house and when I left the shop, I actually wanted to ask her out, but it was close to closing time, so I figured I would give it a shot the next time I would see her there.
Little did I know, that was her last day. I didn't her her number, but I did have her on Twitter, so I decided to do the unthinkable and ask her out via Twitter. Fortunately, she sad yes and since then, we've been on some dates. Even a movie date I've told you guys about and that went really well, so fuck the stigma about movie dates!
Anyway, I felt that she was a little physically (and emotionally) distant to me. When I was over at her place for some dinner, we got a little frisky after dessert and we started to take each others clothes off. Before I could take her shirt off, she told me she had "to tell me something". *cue alarm bells*
The reason why she was holding of the physical contact, was that she has some scars. Then she took off her shirt and bra and I saw some severe burn scars on her back, right upper arm and chest. She was in a car accident ten years ago and got seriously injured. I was the second guy she ever showed this to. She was really scared I would find it repulsive, but I assured her I still think she is drop dead gorgeous. The way she opened herself up really made an impact on me.
Mind you, this girl is really a looker. I think she looks a lot like Hayden Pannetierre, even a little cuter. Who would have thought she would carry a secret like that. We wound up having the most intense sex I've ever experienced. Wow.
Anyway, thanks if you read all this, I don't mind if you didn't.
Moral of the story; you never know what's behind a pretty face and every bit of love and confidence you give to someone will eventually be reciprocated.
Mike Works
Member
...what?Silicon Knight said:
I think he's saying that even though girls can be pretty, maybe they have horrible scars somewhere on their body which makes your chances better than you'd ever guess.Mike Works said:
And the second part is obvious: quantity of love + level of confidence ÷ girl = equal proportion of love + time - reality.
Silicon, glad you're happy.
Silicon Knight said:Ok GAF, I've got some experiences to share with you. A little disclaimer before I begin: I'm not bragging or looking for advice. I just want to share a profound experience.
As some of you may know, I'm back in the dating game since my ex-fiancee left me over 8 months ago. Since then I've met this fantastic girl. We actually went to high school together, but I didn't really notice her then. I saw her again when she was working at a shop near my house and when I left the shop, I actually wanted to ask her out, but it was close to closing time, so I figured I would give it a shot the next time I would see her there.
Little did I know, that was her last day. I didn't her her number, but I did have her on Twitter, so I decided to do the unthinkable and ask her out via Twitter. Fortunately, she sad yes and since then, we've been on some dates. Even a movie date I've told you guys about and that went really well, so fuck the stigma about movie dates!
Anyway, I felt that she was a little physically (and emotionally) distant to me. When I was over at her place for some dinner, we got a little frisky after dessert and we started to take each others clothes off. Before I could take her shirt off, she told me she had "to tell me something". *cue alarm bells*
The reason why she was holding of the physical contact, was that she has some scars. Then she took off her shirt and bra and I saw some severe burn scars on her back, right upper arm and chest. She was in a car accident ten years ago and got seriously injured. I was the second guy she ever showed this to. She was really scared I would find it repulsive, but I assured her I still think she is drop dead gorgeous. The way she opened herself up really made an impact on me.
Mind you, this girl is really a looker. I think she looks a lot like Hayden Pannetierre, even a little cuter. Who would have thought she would carry a secret like that. We wound up having the most intense sex I've ever experienced. Wow.
Anyway, thanks if you read all this, I don't mind if you didn't.
Moral of the story; you never know what's behind a pretty face and every bit of love and confidence you give to someone will eventually be reciprocated.
Alright so there's more to heaven and earth than we know of. Good luck. she sounds like a keeper, take it easy
Yeah, sounds like a keeper to me too, n1 
Yeah good point, idk, she's really cool so I'll just see how it goes. I can't see it ending well though, not for me anyway.Ashes1396 said:
Heh, um yeah that could be kinda awkward though, since we both live with our parents, and by the time I move into my new place she'll already have moved away I think. Hmm, don't text her then?will52 said:
Just what I said above really, kinda messed up the timing and it was all a bit 'meh', but it's better than nothing I guess. Hmm, text her this afternoon then?practice02 said:
Silicon Knight
Member
Never judge a book by its cover and give and thou shall receive. That's it. Sorry I had to make it sound so convoluted.Mike Works said:
I'n not really sure what you're getting at...Socreges said:
AmericanNinja said:cool story, congrats man.
practice02 said:
DY_Nasty said:
Thanks for all the kind words everyone! She really is a keeper and I do intend on taking it easy. A day at a time, baby steps.Norwegian Wood said:
Thanks dude! Ik had eerst niet door dat jij het was trouwens, goed je hier te zien!Dina said:
Finally I just want to say that I think it's a great thing a thread like this can exist. It's fantastic seeing how people help one another and see how experiences unfold over time. I'll chip in with some advice whenever I can.
Silicon Knight
Member
As much as we possibly can. Right now we average 4 times per night.Kingsora said:
Don't worry, it will wind down over time. Enjoy it while it lasts.
Vigilant Walrus
Member
There is this girl who is messing with my mind. I don't know if I am friend zoned or if its because I havent given her enough attention.
She travelled for several hours to visit me for a weekend, where we had fun.
We slept in spoon, laid practically on top of each other half naked in bed watching films(500 days of summer) and the following morning after I had run 15 km, I come back, all sweaty, and she still allowed me to lay down with her, even though I was covered in my sweaty clothes.. granted it was the morning and we still had to shower, both of us.
later that night, I get the impression that she is really into one of my friends. she saw several of my guy friends, but is hooked on this one friend who is a major player. I withdraw a bit, and allow her to her way with him if thats what she wants.
eventually we end up all three of us laying in my friends bed(the major player). first the girl lays down, then my friend, and then I... I laid down with them, to not make it to intimate between them. I guess I was a bit jealous. I thought she came to visit me, because she liked me. I was a bit startled that this guy(even though he is great with women) could make this girl I had been friends with for 6 years, fall in love with him, in an evening.
Another friend is at the hallway, and I run up the bed and into the corridor to yell for him...
A few days later according to the major player friend, they had a exchange of words akin to something like "we can't fuck now.. hes right outside the room" (of course refering to me).
anyway, I come back, and be and the girl go to sleep for the night. she senses that I am a bit sad, and I find out that she is mad at me for not being good at coming on time to our appointments and gatherings in the past, but that she thought I was attractive(which must be a lie, because I am ugly as sin.. and fat) but was not in love with me. She asks me, if I was in love with her... and I said something stupid like "I always have" and then we went to bed.
She went home the next day, and the following weekend my major player friend came to her city and visited her.
I never talked about her to my major player friend again.
and now the girl wont talk to me on FB anymore. it might be because I have been away or havent had time, but I am really confused.
I seriously suck ass.
I dont think I would given much thought about it, except this girl is like one of my best friends.
She travelled for several hours to visit me for a weekend, where we had fun.
We slept in spoon, laid practically on top of each other half naked in bed watching films(500 days of summer) and the following morning after I had run 15 km, I come back, all sweaty, and she still allowed me to lay down with her, even though I was covered in my sweaty clothes.. granted it was the morning and we still had to shower, both of us.
later that night, I get the impression that she is really into one of my friends. she saw several of my guy friends, but is hooked on this one friend who is a major player. I withdraw a bit, and allow her to her way with him if thats what she wants.
eventually we end up all three of us laying in my friends bed(the major player). first the girl lays down, then my friend, and then I... I laid down with them, to not make it to intimate between them. I guess I was a bit jealous. I thought she came to visit me, because she liked me. I was a bit startled that this guy(even though he is great with women) could make this girl I had been friends with for 6 years, fall in love with him, in an evening.
Another friend is at the hallway, and I run up the bed and into the corridor to yell for him...
A few days later according to the major player friend, they had a exchange of words akin to something like "we can't fuck now.. hes right outside the room" (of course refering to me).
anyway, I come back, and be and the girl go to sleep for the night. she senses that I am a bit sad, and I find out that she is mad at me for not being good at coming on time to our appointments and gatherings in the past, but that she thought I was attractive(which must be a lie, because I am ugly as sin.. and fat) but was not in love with me. She asks me, if I was in love with her... and I said something stupid like "I always have" and then we went to bed.
She went home the next day, and the following weekend my major player friend came to her city and visited her.
I never talked about her to my major player friend again.
and now the girl wont talk to me on FB anymore. it might be because I have been away or havent had time, but I am really confused.
I seriously suck ass.
I dont think I would given much thought about it, except this girl is like one of my best friends.
Vigilant Walrus said:
This is a simple case of putting the pussy on the pedestal, and you not taking the right amount of initiative. The fact that you've been in love with a girl for 6 years is a really bad sign. Move on. It can be done, even if you claim she's your "best friend". There are tons and tons and tons and tons of girls out there. No one deserves all this hype.
Vigilant Walrus said:
(1) Don't put this female on a pedestal
(2) Grow a spine and some balls
(3) Don't be melodramatic with a girl like this, you won't win her heart by saying things like that. If she's the type who likes players, then saying stuff like that = perception of spineless
Now move on. Have fun, find other friends, have a great time with other females. Don't get caught up in this.
Sometimes I feel though, that messages like these fall on deaf ears because these are lessons you learn and understand post-hoc.
practice02
Banned
from the sounds of it you aren't to keen on her but as a wise man once said to me " What else do you have going on?"blizeH said:Yeah, sounds like a keeper to me too, n1
Yeah good point, idk, she's really cool so I'll just see how it goes. I can't see it ending well though, not for me anyway.
Heh, um yeah that could be kinda awkward though, since we both live with our parents, and by the time I move into my new place she'll already have moved away I think. Hmm, don't text her then?
Just what I said above really, kinda messed up the timing and it was all a bit 'meh', but it's better than nothing I guess. Hmm, text her this afternoon then?
Silicon Knight
Member
I only cum the first two times mostly. My little sperm factory can't keep up I guess.alterno69 said:
TMI, I know.
practice02
Banned
twice in a day is all you need after that its just pain and powdered jizzSilicon Knight said:
Silicon Knight
Member
Yeah. Women have it a lot easier in that regard.practice02 said:
I noticed people mentioning not to uh..mention video games. Isn't that kind of unfair though? Many of us do play games as a hobby. I seriously think it's a bigger issue to be ashamed of your hobbies enough to skip around them, and it's going to come out sooner or later. I can't see the point of dancing around the subject, isn't that just being insecure?
Her knowing that you play games is fine, so long as that isn't your "identity". Only one type of girl (gamer girls) might even be interested in that.
It's like computers. Knowing how to use computers is good, but being thought of as "the computer guy" doesn't wet too many panties.
It's like computers. Knowing how to use computers is good, but being thought of as "the computer guy" doesn't wet too many panties.
Mike Works
Member
First off, I want to clarify that I think your story is awesome.Silicon Knight said:Never judge a book by its cover and give and thou shall receive. That's it. Sorry I had to make it sound so convoluted.
However, "never judge a book by it's cover" isn't applicable to your story, because you judged her (by her cover) to be an attractive girl that you liked, and she wound up actually being... an attractive girl that you liked.
Secondly: "Every bit of love and confidence you give to someone will eventually be reciprocated" is simply not true on a wide scale. It can happen, and when you do find that person who fully reciprocates what you expend and provide, then it's great. But it doesn't happen every time, and thus is baseless advice for this thread.
The number of times is incredibly inconsequential. For some guys, having sex constitutes 10 minutes. For other guys, it's an hour and ten minutes.Kingsora said:
For your personal situation, if you feel like you're having sex too much, then just communicate that. After the third or fourth or whatever number'ed time, after you finish just say something like, "Fuck, I'm spent. That was amazing." Then just suggest lying down or watching a movie or something else intimate.
Find a different girl that you haven't been in love with for 6 years.Vigilant Walrus said:
Also, change your perception of love. For example, this:
"I was a bit startled that this guy(even though he is great with women) could make this girl I had been friends with for 6 years, fall in love with him, in an evening."
..is idiotic. She didn't fall in love with him. She found herself attracted to him.
The sooner you go after someone new, the sooner your warped perceptions of love and attraction will meld into a stable outlook on relationships. Repeat, go after someone new.
Here's what you do: Don't mention videogames when you're on your first date or whatever. There's no point. If the girl asks you what you like doing for fun, and you find yourself wanting to say PLAY VIDEOGAMES AND READ GAF, then just mention whatever you do (ie play a sport, reading, etc), and then when it comes time to mention the videogames, just say, "..and sometimes I just like relaxing: staying in and watching a movie or whatever."MoxManiac said:
Then, when you bring her back to your place for the first time, don't mention your Playstation or XBox, wait for her to do it. If she brings them up in a normal tone, then you can just say, "Oh yeah, I like playing games sometimes when I want to wind down."
However, if she brings them up using a really judgmental tone (ie "Oh... you play.. videogames......"), then just equally confront her (judgmentalness) by saying something like, "Yeah, is that a problem?"
No woman is worth cutting something enjoyable like videogames out of your life, especially not one you're just meeting for the first time.
And hell, who knows, maybe you'll have found a girl who likes playing games!
Solideliquid
Member
^
Epic.
Epic.
MMaRsu
Member
EzLink said:
At least you're asking chicks out though. Some people would just sit and mope around and not try to do anything about it. Keep at it man
Yeah I know.. and yeah I am asking chicks out and I'm supposed to go out with this girl when she comes back from vacation,, asked her out about a week and a half ago.
I think I'm gonna try to ask more girls out.. if I see a flirt or a possible connection there. But damnit I'm so sick of being alone.. sure it's not as bad as some guys in here but once you know what you are missing it's even worse basically.
Kingsora
Would rather have no penis than have to show his to a medical professional
And ohw it`s not that I really think: wow we have just too much sex, I just thought that maybe it is weird.
Let us say that when she is 12 hours with me, we have sex about 4 times and sex lasts at least an hour every time, most of the time it's even much longer.
I just wondered if it was weird, that`s all =)
Let us say that when she is 12 hours with me, we have sex about 4 times and sex lasts at least an hour every time, most of the time it's even much longer.
I just wondered if it was weird, that`s all =)
yeah I know man. It's a pretty big hobby for me though. I mean, i'm not LOL INTERNAT GAMER bad, but I mean like I do go to Street Fighter tournaments and shit. Ah well.
I'm not really sure how bitching about the screenshots of the new HoMM game in another thread while at work when I should be working reflects on me as well. I guess what goes on GAF stays on GAF, hopefully :/
I'm not really sure how bitching about the screenshots of the new HoMM game in another thread while at work when I should be working reflects on me as well. I guess what goes on GAF stays on GAF, hopefully :/
Jamesfrom818
Banned
DominoKid said:
I have the same philosophy. I mentioned it to my friends and they said it was brilliant. My friend's fiancee just looked at me and said "Really? Really!?"
Smelly Tramp
Member
practice02 said:
i blew off sex with the gf to play assassins creed 2
who gives a fuck
practice02
Banned
exactly i did the same with me2 with my last girlfriend she couldn't hang. being a gamer is a pretty solo hobby you need to find someone who understands that.Smelly Tramp said:
I always try to be myself around people, even women.MoxManiac said:
For example there's this girl I was talking to recently, and I was talking to her about how excited I was when I got some new comic books or video game or something. She then started asking me questions about them. She doesnt read comics or is a gamer. Today she came over and I showed her all of my video games and comic books. I have about 400 video games, 20+ systems (with some duplicates), and my comic books (just a fucking ton of them). She didn't seem to phased, and even thumbed through some of the games and commented on the box covers she liked :lol . We then made out during the movie. Being nerdy doesn't have the negative stigma it used to.
Just be yourself, and people will appreciate you for being honest. If they dont want to be with you because of how you like to spend free time, fuck 'em.
Finally, the time is here. After 20 years, I'm moving out of the house and into the dorms of a college campus. I will be on my own, independent. For years I have been thinking about what this time in my life would be like, and ever since high school I've had the notion that all my shit would be together by now and I would finally realize all of my dating goals when going away to school. I've been looking forward to this for so long, been planning so decisively to take an aggressive approach to the dating scene at school, but now that it's finally here all of my insecurities are rising pretty strongly to the surface.
The past several weeks I've been spending way too long just looking at myself in the mirror. "Am I handsome enough to get with an attractive girl? Have I lost enough weight to where only super shallow bitches will care that I'm not in great physical condition? Have I seen other guys that look worse than me with pretty girls?". Is it a healthy thing to do? Of course not. But I've had such a warped self-image for so long that it's hard to stay away from this
I had a conversation with a friend a while back about "leagues". He said leagues don't really exist unless you are only looking to hook up for some casual fun. Part of me wants to just get experience and hook up with chicks for my first semester of college. But maybe, since I won't be down to my ideal weight for another 3 to 4 months or so, I should give up that notion and just try to find a serious relationship? Maybe I shouldn't even try hard to look until I've reached all of the self-image improvement that I feel I need? Or maybe my head is just screwy from years of negative and unhealthy thought patterns and these things aren't as big of a deal in the real world as they seem to be in my head
I'm confident enough in my personality and sense of humor. I get people complimenting those aspects of me all the time. But will it be enough? Someone I was talking to a few days ago told me that the college I'm going to has a really big reputation for having lots of parties and lots of easy girls. "Excellent" I thought. But is it realistic for me to think that I'll be able to get in on that with attractive girls when there will be so many attractive guys there who AREN'T flabby with 20 extra pounds hanging off of them?
Basically my whole life I've wanted to experience relationships and dating, but I've never done anything about it. I've never asked a girl out, and I oftentimes get self-conscious around women I'm attracted to (although by this point I'm really able to ignore that to the point where none of it comes through in how I act around them... so I'm at least thankful for that fact) This thread has been a huge help in letting me understand how to talk to women and what to do, but I've still put none of it into practice. I've just been trying to bide my time until college.
I don't know, I guess I'm just afraid that I'll fail and go another 20 years being lonely and full of regret. That maybe isn't the most logical line of reasoning, but overcoming self-image issues can be hella hard. It's difficult to escape vicious unhealthy thought patterns, even if you know they are wrong.
The good news is that I've lost fifty lbs over the past year and I take much better care of myself than I used to. I'm still losing weight and I'm not going to stop working hard at that until I reach my goal. I just wish I would already achieved my ideal weight by this point. I do have some recent pictures of myself, if anyone would be interested in offering constructive criticism of what I could do to improve my look in the meantime until my body weight is where it is supposed to be? (PM only)
This kind of came out as a long winded emo rant about my insecurities (whoops :lol), but it's kind of nice being able to collect my thoughts and get them out there, even if they aren't all healthy or accurate.
Maybe I'll go and realize people aren't as shallow as I'm imagining, and I'll have a high success rate with the girls I ask out. But man, I would definitely be lying if I said nerves aren't starting to get to me. I feel like these next couple of years will be my best opportunities to get experience with dating, and I'm really scared I'm going to ruin or mess it up somehow. Romantic relationships are such an integral part of the human experience that I've been totally missing out on for the entirety of my life, and I really want that to change
EDIT: Also how big of a detriment is it having red hair? I've always liked my red hair but I just got a new laptop that finally has a webcam, and I've been spending far too long on chatroulette and have gotten a very high amount of "LOLOLOL GINGER" responses. Of course I'm not taking the opinions of internet trolls to heart, but I've just been surprised that out of all of the things they could criticize me on that one is by far the most common
The past several weeks I've been spending way too long just looking at myself in the mirror. "Am I handsome enough to get with an attractive girl? Have I lost enough weight to where only super shallow bitches will care that I'm not in great physical condition? Have I seen other guys that look worse than me with pretty girls?". Is it a healthy thing to do? Of course not. But I've had such a warped self-image for so long that it's hard to stay away from this
I had a conversation with a friend a while back about "leagues". He said leagues don't really exist unless you are only looking to hook up for some casual fun. Part of me wants to just get experience and hook up with chicks for my first semester of college. But maybe, since I won't be down to my ideal weight for another 3 to 4 months or so, I should give up that notion and just try to find a serious relationship? Maybe I shouldn't even try hard to look until I've reached all of the self-image improvement that I feel I need? Or maybe my head is just screwy from years of negative and unhealthy thought patterns and these things aren't as big of a deal in the real world as they seem to be in my head
I'm confident enough in my personality and sense of humor. I get people complimenting those aspects of me all the time. But will it be enough? Someone I was talking to a few days ago told me that the college I'm going to has a really big reputation for having lots of parties and lots of easy girls. "Excellent" I thought. But is it realistic for me to think that I'll be able to get in on that with attractive girls when there will be so many attractive guys there who AREN'T flabby with 20 extra pounds hanging off of them?
Basically my whole life I've wanted to experience relationships and dating, but I've never done anything about it. I've never asked a girl out, and I oftentimes get self-conscious around women I'm attracted to (although by this point I'm really able to ignore that to the point where none of it comes through in how I act around them... so I'm at least thankful for that fact) This thread has been a huge help in letting me understand how to talk to women and what to do, but I've still put none of it into practice. I've just been trying to bide my time until college.
I don't know, I guess I'm just afraid that I'll fail and go another 20 years being lonely and full of regret. That maybe isn't the most logical line of reasoning, but overcoming self-image issues can be hella hard. It's difficult to escape vicious unhealthy thought patterns, even if you know they are wrong.
The good news is that I've lost fifty lbs over the past year and I take much better care of myself than I used to. I'm still losing weight and I'm not going to stop working hard at that until I reach my goal. I just wish I would already achieved my ideal weight by this point. I do have some recent pictures of myself, if anyone would be interested in offering constructive criticism of what I could do to improve my look in the meantime until my body weight is where it is supposed to be? (PM only)
This kind of came out as a long winded emo rant about my insecurities (whoops :lol), but it's kind of nice being able to collect my thoughts and get them out there, even if they aren't all healthy or accurate.
Maybe I'll go and realize people aren't as shallow as I'm imagining, and I'll have a high success rate with the girls I ask out. But man, I would definitely be lying if I said nerves aren't starting to get to me. I feel like these next couple of years will be my best opportunities to get experience with dating, and I'm really scared I'm going to ruin or mess it up somehow. Romantic relationships are such an integral part of the human experience that I've been totally missing out on for the entirety of my life, and I really want that to change
EDIT: Also how big of a detriment is it having red hair? I've always liked my red hair but I just got a new laptop that finally has a webcam, and I've been spending far too long on chatroulette and have gotten a very high amount of "LOLOLOL GINGER" responses. Of course I'm not taking the opinions of internet trolls to heart, but I've just been surprised that out of all of the things they could criticize me on that one is by far the most common
Well, in terms of choosing to go for the first long term relationship you get: If you truly want to improve yourself, both physically and psychologically, don't commit to a serious relationship. It just makes you lazy regarding these aspects (Why work out? You got a girl anyway). Staying single keeps you on the edge, and motivated (not saying stay alone - you should of course go for hook ups and such)
Ok, I normally don't come to this thread for advice, but I figured I'd try and get some reactions because this was so damn weird. Really long story incoming.
I'm asst. manager at a store in a shopping mall. Outside of our store, there's a cable company's booth set up with TVs and such where people can sign up for cable, etc. At this booth works a FINE ass woman. Tall, blonde, etc. She apparently does some freelance modeling on the side. So anyway, my manager and I go out and talk to the people working at the booth a bunch whenever the mall is slow, etc., so we're familiar with each other. She is/was (more on this in a second) in a 3+ year relationship with her boyfriend, who she also lives/lived with. I never tried to make a move on her, because even if I was successful, I wouldn't really want to intrude on a relationship like that.
Friday afternoon, as I was about to get off and my manager was about to go on his lunch break, someone proposed that the three of us go to Red Robin for happy hour. I figured why the hell not, it's a Friday and I'm almost off. We head over and have enough drinks to get us buzzing, share plenty of laughs, and have a good time overall. We return to the store, keep watch for a bit while my manager goes and smokes. When he gets back, she grabs me by the arm and says "Let's go, we're leaving." At this point I'm beginning to feel the drinks, so I'm not really in a position to even consider objecting. We leave the mall and walk over to her apartment across the street. This is where it gets confusing.
A few facts to keep in mind before I go on:
-She's been in a 3+year relationship and lives with her BF
-Her BF is out of town, she's supposed to pick him up that night
-I found out the next day talking to her that she was one drink away from blacking out (at the apartment) and was so drunk she forgot to pick up her BF until an hour after she was supposed to
We get to the apartment, I sit down on the couch, and she goes to change out of work clothes. She comes out wearing a T-shirt and the shortest pair of shorts I have ever seen. She then asks if I want some wine (she drinks almost exclusively wine). I say sure, why not, not wanting to be rude :lol So she pulls a half-full bottle of wine out of the fridge and we then proceed to kill said bottle. At this point I'm pretty well sloshed, but not yet sloppy. She then tells me that she was really glad I came to happy hour, because she didn't want to be stuck by herself with my manager (he's cool but kinda crazy and overexuberant) and that I was "her rock," probably because I'm pretty level-headed and "normal" for someone who works at a mall. I've heard her use this phrase before regarding her stepdad, so at this point I'm thinking I'm now planted deep in the friendzone, but it's not really a big deal since she's got a BF anyway. She then proposes that we go eat at the Jimmy Johns nearby.
Keep in mind that I did not consciously make one advance this entire time. We go to eat and she buys me a sandwich since I paid for everyones' drinks at happy hour. I then give her a hug and say goodbye, and I head home. Later that night, I went out and got pretty sloshed again (after a nap) and came home and (I'm 95% sure) added her on Facebook. I'm pretty sure she declined the request, since it doesn't say friend request pending (I think she knows my last name, etc.) but it's not a big deal. I'm not going to make a big deal about it either way. As I said before, I talked to her the next day, and it wasn't awkward or anything, so it's possible I just imagined that part or she didn't know it was me or something like that.
Fast forward to today. I find out from my manager that her and her BF got into a huge fight and broke up yesterday-ish. This doesn't really change anything, but it's interesting. I was planning to just chill and not really commit toward or away from going after her, and I'm pretty sure that's still my plan, since even if she did indeed break up with him, if I go after her I don't want to be the rebound or the shoulder to cry on.
I'm just really baffled and I have no idea what's going on. Was she just being really friendly when she invited me over? Did I have a shot at getting in her pants but didn't take it because I missed the signals/didn't want to get with a girl in a relationship? Was she looking for attention because she knew her relationship was on the rocks? Was she just really fucking drunk and didn't know what she was doing? :lol
I'm asst. manager at a store in a shopping mall. Outside of our store, there's a cable company's booth set up with TVs and such where people can sign up for cable, etc. At this booth works a FINE ass woman. Tall, blonde, etc. She apparently does some freelance modeling on the side. So anyway, my manager and I go out and talk to the people working at the booth a bunch whenever the mall is slow, etc., so we're familiar with each other. She is/was (more on this in a second) in a 3+ year relationship with her boyfriend, who she also lives/lived with. I never tried to make a move on her, because even if I was successful, I wouldn't really want to intrude on a relationship like that.
Friday afternoon, as I was about to get off and my manager was about to go on his lunch break, someone proposed that the three of us go to Red Robin for happy hour. I figured why the hell not, it's a Friday and I'm almost off. We head over and have enough drinks to get us buzzing, share plenty of laughs, and have a good time overall. We return to the store, keep watch for a bit while my manager goes and smokes. When he gets back, she grabs me by the arm and says "Let's go, we're leaving." At this point I'm beginning to feel the drinks, so I'm not really in a position to even consider objecting. We leave the mall and walk over to her apartment across the street. This is where it gets confusing.
A few facts to keep in mind before I go on:
-She's been in a 3+year relationship and lives with her BF
-Her BF is out of town, she's supposed to pick him up that night
-I found out the next day talking to her that she was one drink away from blacking out (at the apartment) and was so drunk she forgot to pick up her BF until an hour after she was supposed to
We get to the apartment, I sit down on the couch, and she goes to change out of work clothes. She comes out wearing a T-shirt and the shortest pair of shorts I have ever seen. She then asks if I want some wine (she drinks almost exclusively wine). I say sure, why not, not wanting to be rude :lol So she pulls a half-full bottle of wine out of the fridge and we then proceed to kill said bottle. At this point I'm pretty well sloshed, but not yet sloppy. She then tells me that she was really glad I came to happy hour, because she didn't want to be stuck by herself with my manager (he's cool but kinda crazy and overexuberant) and that I was "her rock," probably because I'm pretty level-headed and "normal" for someone who works at a mall. I've heard her use this phrase before regarding her stepdad, so at this point I'm thinking I'm now planted deep in the friendzone, but it's not really a big deal since she's got a BF anyway. She then proposes that we go eat at the Jimmy Johns nearby.
Keep in mind that I did not consciously make one advance this entire time. We go to eat and she buys me a sandwich since I paid for everyones' drinks at happy hour. I then give her a hug and say goodbye, and I head home. Later that night, I went out and got pretty sloshed again (after a nap) and came home and (I'm 95% sure) added her on Facebook. I'm pretty sure she declined the request, since it doesn't say friend request pending (I think she knows my last name, etc.) but it's not a big deal. I'm not going to make a big deal about it either way. As I said before, I talked to her the next day, and it wasn't awkward or anything, so it's possible I just imagined that part or she didn't know it was me or something like that.
Fast forward to today. I find out from my manager that her and her BF got into a huge fight and broke up yesterday-ish. This doesn't really change anything, but it's interesting. I was planning to just chill and not really commit toward or away from going after her, and I'm pretty sure that's still my plan, since even if she did indeed break up with him, if I go after her I don't want to be the rebound or the shoulder to cry on.
I'm just really baffled and I have no idea what's going on. Was she just being really friendly when she invited me over? Did I have a shot at getting in her pants but didn't take it because I missed the signals/didn't want to get with a girl in a relationship? Was she looking for attention because she knew her relationship was on the rocks? Was she just really fucking drunk and didn't know what she was doing? :lol
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