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Girl/Dating Age: Where to begin?
- Thread starter Combine
- Start date
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so im talking to this girl on fb that i know from school i really hardly know her and i have to see her tomorrow for some school thing and were talking on fb and she said "brb 10 min k?". how will it look on me if i actually wait for her to get back. im on my comp with nothing better to do. im fucked up
nvm
nvm
Epic Tales of Penis
Banned
Her bf came over.Zoltrix said:
Dragoon X Omega
Member
Aurora said:
*A little update from my last post*
Okay today I told her "Maybe, we should see each other once a week" and she said "okay" and then I said "I'm tired of misunderstanding of your behavior and you confuse me, *friend's name*, alot"
and she said "I? I?" and I said "I don't want to get hurt, okay?"
and she got up and left my apartment.
This sucks. I felt manipulated by her.
For those struggling with confidence, episode 96 of the Pickup Podcast focuses on that. Highly recommend it if that's something you need to work on. Also goes over being well-rounded and not letting any one thing define who you are,whether it's the girl you're dating, your job, or working out at the gym.
Whether that was the right thing to say or not, I don't know. But the way you said that makes you sound like a bit of a pussy. Use man words! No maybes. No "okay?". Be assertive. You're the man, man.Dragoon X Omega said:*A little update from my last post*
Okay today I told her "Maybe, we should see each other once a week" and she said "okay" and then I said "I'm tired of misunderstanding of your behavior and you confuse me, *friend's name*, alot"
and she said "I? I?" and I said "I don't want to get hurt, okay?"
and she got up and left my apartment.
This sucks. I felt manipulated by her.
So gaf, I went out with a girl and we had a great time. She sent me text telling me she had a great time and we should most definitely go out again. The next day she calls me and we talk a while and everything is going good, she tells me shes a painter and I say I would love to see her work which to she responds she would love to show me them. Skip 2 days later I try calling and texting her to set up another date but I've gotten no response yesterday or today. What do you think gaf? Was she just being nice? Or am I just looking to deep into this?
So I just found out my girlfriend of a year and change is genuinely psychotic. She's the hottest I've ever been with though, unfortunately.
Does obsessive/totally insecure behavior come off as unattractive to everyone else?
I also think I have "doesn't believe there are better fish in the sea" syndrome.
Does obsessive/totally insecure behavior come off as unattractive to everyone else?
I also think I have "doesn't believe there are better fish in the sea" syndrome.
BladeWorker
Member
Ball's in her court. Give it the weekend. If you don't hear from her, and you're not in a relationship, put on the brain prep to move on.NIGHT- said:
It's possible she's busy or got stuck with an emergency family sitch or something, or trying to obey some shit-stupid 48-hour rule. Regardless, classy people return their calls and keep their promises.
You don't want to be with people who aren't at least a little classy.
BronzeWolf
Banned
I found the ultimate ASD today.
Took a girl to dinner. YEAH YEAH I know. Well I am good enough not to make a dinner date suck. And it didn't. She had a lot of fun. I took her back to uni. Talked a bit in my car. Caressed her, touched her leg, a little bit of hair. All good fun.
Good Bye time. Kissed her.
She runs off. SMS after
"why did you kiss me?"
"I thought it was the right time, didn't you like it?"
"no!"
What
the
fuck
This shit is bananas, crazy people, wtf
Took a girl to dinner. YEAH YEAH I know. Well I am good enough not to make a dinner date suck. And it didn't. She had a lot of fun. I took her back to uni. Talked a bit in my car. Caressed her, touched her leg, a little bit of hair. All good fun.
Good Bye time. Kissed her.
She runs off. SMS after
"why did you kiss me?"
"I thought it was the right time, didn't you like it?"
"no!"
What
the
fuck
This shit is bananas, crazy people, wtf
Sounds like my first girlfriend. :lolBronzeWolf said:
If she still wants to hang out then that is probably still a good sign. Then again she could also just jam you straight into friendzone in person or not. Not much you can really do about it besides keep your cool (or just call it off yourself).
BronzeWolf
Banned
Boogie said:
Zanken said:
Meh I don't really care about this girl... at all
It's just fucking disgusting that she thinks she can lie in my face like that and pretend I can take it like a fucking idiot.
She got what she asked for:
"look, don't act stupid, we both know what happened. You let me touch you, laughed at me, looked me in the eye. You got your face close enough for me to kiss you. Don't treat me like an idiot, because that only shows you are a bigger one"
Fucking stupid
BronzeWolf
Banned
Zanken said:
You are right... it's just... weird lol
back to usual me-whore mode
BronzeWolf
Banned
Eggo said:
meh, sorry about that. I am not used to being asked such stupid questions.
When I kiss a girl, they usually like it and don't come back with such childish questions.
Dully noted though
BronzeWolf
Banned
Yoboman said:
exact wording
Mike Works
Member
Are you sure she knew it was a date?BronzeWolf said:
I can't shake these feelings. And they seem to always intensify when I drink. The feeling that, no matter who I talk to, I just cannot help but feel that I'm always an "outsider" or someone who just doesn't "fit in". That those who talk to me do so out of mere politeness and nothing more, that there's no one who would genuinely be happy, let alone interested in having my company.
I always get the feeling when I even go up to people who I'm acquainted with and say "hi" only for them to nod and then quickly move away. Either that or completely ignore my presence altogether. But then, I also feel guilty talking to people, and ashamed, because I have nothing of interest to say to them. Everyone looks like they're having such a fun time hanging out, who am I to ruin that by injecting myself into things.
I always get the feeling when I even go up to people who I'm acquainted with and say "hi" only for them to nod and then quickly move away. Either that or completely ignore my presence altogether. But then, I also feel guilty talking to people, and ashamed, because I have nothing of interest to say to them. Everyone looks like they're having such a fun time hanging out, who am I to ruin that by injecting myself into things.
Combine said:
I'd say we have similar feelings except I don't really give a fuck if people accept me or not. I go in, make a little small talk, and go out. I don't really crave social interactions very much as I'm pretty much completely happy with myself.
I am pretty social though, when it comes down to it. I guess my advice is to open yourself up a little. If you get burned, you get burned. Who cares? As long as you show other people that you don't care, nobody else will either.
If you really want to make friends, here's some great advice: Do It. Go up to some people who look lonely (preferably people that you'll see everyday like people you work with or go to school with) and just start talking. If you feel there's a connection there or similar interests, invite them somewhere. This is important in real friendships because you can't just bond with someone by making small talk, even if it's everyday. You have to share fun experiences that you can reflect back on at a later time.
BronzeWolf
Banned
Mike Works said:
I knew it, she knew it, the waitress knew it.
Who cares, she still put her face in front of mine and our lips "miraculously" joined.
Who cares if it was a date lol
Well, not being at school and unemployed kind of makes that difficult. It's not that easy just to make friends, especially for someone like me who's never had any before. I agree that "small talk" and "pretty words" alone cannot create a friendship, but unfortunately, that's all I currently have to offer anyone.SmokeMaxX said:
Combine said:
Well, as stated many times in this thread, I think first you need to work on your self esteem. Doesn't mean you can't make friends along the way. You're not alone in your thoughts. There are quite a few of us that have all traveled down this road before. Have you ever found anybody that you've felt "compatible" with? That you've felt there was some kind of connection there? Maybe they accepted you for who you were or something? If so, then you don't really need to have similar interests to be good friends with them. I've had friends that had completely different interests than me. In fact, my girlfriend has the complete opposite of me, which is very frustrating by the way. I don't know how anybody could like such garbage music. Anyway, that's besides the point. The point is, you don't really need X, Y, or Z to have a friendship with someone. You just have to be able to have a good time with them, whether it be by discussing politics, taking walks together, or talking about your own insecurities with one another. There isn't some secret technique to bonding, it just happens. And it has little to do with looks, but very much to do with personalities.
Mike Works
Member
Was she responding positively to you "caressing" her?BronzeWolf said:
I dunno, it sounds like (given your description of the events) she didn't think it was a date, your advances (caressing, hair, etc) were more subtle than you perceived them to be, and when the moment of truth came, she was shocked and didn't want things to be that way.
But all I've got to go on is text, so there's no way to say for sure.
Mike Works said:
To me it sounds like she had buyer's remorse afterwards. Instead of assuring her that they both lost control in the heat of the moment (which is what she wanted), he basically affirmed her worst fears that she is a slut by saying, "you know you wanted it..."
BronzeWolf
Banned
Eggo said:
lol live and learn
so there's this girl in my lab group that I don't really see out much. I saw her at a flag football game maybe 2 weeks ago and we chatted it up, conversation was going really well. we had sat next to each other for our tests, so we were talking earlier that day too for a bit.
I didn't really see her again until 3 days ago coming out of a quiz. I saw she had a haircut, so i complimented her on it, as it did look cute. i got a nice smile out of it. so later that night, my buddies down the hall throw a party. I walk in and she's there looking cute as hell with her roomies. we talk for pretty much the entire time she's there, joking back and forth, conversation goes really well so i get her number. when i ask she says "oh, trying to be mr. smooth?" so i think she knows why i got her number. anyways, the next day i see her outside the cafeteria at school and we chat it up for a long time, well over an hour. her roomie passes by too and joins for a bit.
now, i feel like things are going really well, almost toooo well. i always kind of need a chase and a bit of a struggle to be interested. i think she's real cute and i want to talk to her, so i'm kinda struggling with how to proceed. i'm going to be down the hall from her place getting dinner tonight, and i wanted to maybe swing by and see what shes up to, chill for a bit, but not sure if it's too much too soon.
are you guys usually cognizant of when you feel like things are going too fast? do you try to take things slow? I'm just scared of forcing the issue i guess...
I didn't really see her again until 3 days ago coming out of a quiz. I saw she had a haircut, so i complimented her on it, as it did look cute. i got a nice smile out of it. so later that night, my buddies down the hall throw a party. I walk in and she's there looking cute as hell with her roomies. we talk for pretty much the entire time she's there, joking back and forth, conversation goes really well so i get her number. when i ask she says "oh, trying to be mr. smooth?" so i think she knows why i got her number. anyways, the next day i see her outside the cafeteria at school and we chat it up for a long time, well over an hour. her roomie passes by too and joins for a bit.
now, i feel like things are going really well, almost toooo well. i always kind of need a chase and a bit of a struggle to be interested. i think she's real cute and i want to talk to her, so i'm kinda struggling with how to proceed. i'm going to be down the hall from her place getting dinner tonight, and i wanted to maybe swing by and see what shes up to, chill for a bit, but not sure if it's too much too soon.
are you guys usually cognizant of when you feel like things are going too fast? do you try to take things slow? I'm just scared of forcing the issue i guess...
My new gf and I had sex for the first time last night/this morning/this afternoon. And it was good, but...I couldn't get off!
I don't ever remember having this problem before, but we were at it for hours on 3 separate occasions and I just couldn't get off. It can't be a sensitivity thing with the condoms, because I've always used condoms and never had this be an issue before.
help me gaf!
I don't ever remember having this problem before, but we were at it for hours on 3 separate occasions and I just couldn't get off. It can't be a sensitivity thing with the condoms, because I've always used condoms and never had this be an issue before.
help me gaf!
Scarecrow
Member
Crap. I think I'm emotionally broken. Maybe it's a self defense mechanism, but I can't seem to get emotionally attracted to anyone. Every girl I've tried asking out was more out of seeing if I could, as opposed to genuinely liking the girl. I haven't felt attached to anything in forever. The last girl I can remember having a crush on was in freshman year in high school, back around 2000. I hardly even felt anything when my mom and grandmother died in the past few years.
Pretty sure I'm not gay, either, as I don't have any physical/emotional attraction to dudes.
Any advice (besides professional help)?
Pretty sure I'm not gay, either, as I don't have any physical/emotional attraction to dudes.
Any advice (besides professional help)?
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
Nervousness and stress.Blader5489 said:
I think most people think mental blocks are like fake things that don't really do anything to your body and only bother your mind, but what's going through your mind absolutely can have a beneficial or detrimental effect on your physical body and general health.
I don't know what I should do. There's this girl in two of my classes that's kind of cute, and I have a few reasons to believe she may be interested in me. She's very intelligent, but I've yet to have a really enjoyable conversation with her. Granted, we don't get too much time to talk, but I'm not sure if I should pursue it.
I'm still a virgin, and I'm trying not to be picky, but should I really try to ask her on a date? If I decide it doesn't feel right, it will make all of our future classes kind of awkward.
The thing is, it is possible that she's acting the same way I typically would - keeping some distance in order to avoid the friendzone - do girls do this too? This is why I'm curious as to whether she would open up in the future.
Suggestions?
I'm still a virgin, and I'm trying not to be picky, but should I really try to ask her on a date? If I decide it doesn't feel right, it will make all of our future classes kind of awkward.
The thing is, it is possible that she's acting the same way I typically would - keeping some distance in order to avoid the friendzone - do girls do this too? This is why I'm curious as to whether she would open up in the future.
Suggestions?
Tim the Wiz
Banned
Awkward is always better than missed opportunity and regret - unless it's a workplace situation, wherein a whole lot more than mere awkwardness could potentially be at stake.
Ether_Snake
å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®
Combine said:
The most important advice in this thread was for you to do something in your life, a hobby, trips, etc. It takes time, but it's the only good advice. It's the only way to build yourself a life and over time make friends, and then you won't feel like an outsider. I myself have been working on this, and while in many ways I still haven't made as much progress as I wanted to, I made some. I traveled, I have something to talk about, and since recently I'm more likely to go out with friends, so it's a start. If I got rid of my acne problem I would have no excuse not to make progress on the other ends, but at least I made progress by going out of my comfort zone (traveling on my own) and talking to people, trying to keep contacts instead of letting them go. That's the only way you're going to get anywhere, THE ONLY WAY. Just talking to people will do nothing.
Talking is sharing yourself to someone else. You need to build yourself by living your life. You need life experience to share with others, and it is exponential. Starts with something small like "I saw that movie" or "I read that book" or "I visited this place", and it builds up from there. Eventually you make friends, and then you can suggest going to the movies or doing some other activities, etc. Then you meet someone, and voilà.
BladeWorker
Member
If I were to wager a guess I'd say you're attracted to the hunt without any real idea of what you're hunting for.Scarecrow said:Crap. I think I'm emotionally broken. Maybe it's a self defense mechanism, but I can't seem to get emotionally attracted to anyone. Every girl I've tried asking out was more out of seeing if I could, as opposed to genuinely liking the girl. I haven't felt attached to anything in forever. The last girl I can remember having a crush on was in freshman year in high school, back around 2000. I hardly even felt anything when my mom and grandmother died in the past few years.
Pretty sure I'm not gay, either, as I don't have any physical/emotional attraction to dudes.
Any advice (besides professional help)?
If you're actually looking to have something other than a phone number at the end of a night, I'd suggest holding off on the hunting until you know what it is you want in a lady. And then relax. Stay open to the opportunities, but don't dive in to the deep end of a hunt right away. Forcing it tends to make you think too hard and flushes all chemistry down the toilet.
All that said, it's entirely possible that the girls you're going after just aren't the ones that you would hit it off with, chemistry-wise. It happens. You chat, you realize there's no spark, you move on. This would suggest that you try something different...go after someone you wouldn't normally go after, that sort of thing.
Good luck, dude.
I'm trying to figure out how to do that. It's tough right now. Especially since I'm still unemployed/live with parents/don't even have a good cell phone/etc. and that doesn't seem to be changing. My main hobby now is working out at the gym, but that doesn't seem to do much for my self esteem, as I continue to compare myself to others who are better than me.SmokeMaxX said:
I have zero clue how that sort of thing works. I'm pretty certain that I have never "bonded" with anyone at all. Because I don't even know what that would mean or how that would feel. Probably in the same respect that I don't know how it is to have a friend.
That's the sort of thing that is difficult for me. Again, my situation pretty much prevents that sort of thing. And I just cannot get myself to figure out what it is in life that I want to do. I know that makes me a horrible person, which is why I'm not surprised I've turned out the way I have. I've ended up as a 30-year old virgin for crying out loud. That alone makes puts me in a special circle of total fuck-up.Ether_Snake said:
And yes, I've been drinking again.
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