vitaminwateryum
corporate swill
grap3fruitman said:
:lol :lol :lol
Were you by chance IM'ing a 15 year old girl? :lol
-
Hey Guest. Check out your NeoGAF Wrapped 2025 results here!
Girl/Dating Age: Where to begin?
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- Start date
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:lol :lol :lol
Were you by chance IM'ing a 15 year old girl? :lol
grap3fruitman
Banned
"What's shakin'?"akachan ningen said:
"Do I know you?"
"No..."
Block.
??News Bot said:
grap3fruitman said:
You selected a random girl that you didn't know on facebook and did this? :lol
When you message someone you've never met before online, the first message should be more substantial than just "What's shakin'?" or any other greeting remark. In person its fine because the conversation is real time and dynamic. What reason are you giving someone online to message you back if all you can offer in your first attempt is a hello?
EDIT: Also, when she asked if she knew you, you could have elaborated on why she would want to get to know you (through demonstrating at least some form of personality) instead of "No..."
jamesinclair
Banned
So I signed up for plentyoffish and I dont like it at all.
The site design is absolutely terrible and ugly....but the worst part is you can see the status of your messages.
This one girl selected my picture in the meet thing, so I sent her a message.
Result?
"Read. Deleted"
Ice cold.
The site design is absolutely terrible and ugly....but the worst part is you can see the status of your messages.
This one girl selected my picture in the meet thing, so I sent her a message.
Result?
"Read. Deleted"
Ice cold.
Ether_Snake
å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®
dskillzhtown said:
That's not what I said by being the driver. I said women like men who take the lead, who will get shit done, etc. It doesn't mean they want to sit back and do nothing, but they don't generally like the idea of being in the lead hence why being "too nice" is bad because it often actually means "being too fragile" or "too passive".
grap3fruitman
Banned
Not completely random. This chick I've been "friends" with on FB for a while but never talk to. She's got this formspring thing where you can submit anonymous questions and I asked what someone could do that would like to get to know her better. Her response was to message her on FB, I did and that was the response I got.EzLink said:
And what if it was random or someone I didn't know? Am I supposed to say "Hi" to girls I know? That kind of doesn't really help me meet girls, now does it?
akachan ningen
Member
It works better in real life. You need the practice anyway. Even if you managed to get some girls on FB interested, if you don't have the RL experience to have a good time in person, you won't be able to get anywhere with her.grap3fruitman said:
grap3fruitman
Banned
Based on previous experiences I find that very difficult to believe.akachan ningen said:
Yeah, I kind of don't want every single woman to react to me in this same manner...akachan ningen said:
Just relax, talk to more girls.. its not hard and youll realise that soon enough..
Get used to rejection too because if your gonna get all cut up every time a woman rejects you or does something to piss you off your gonna have a hard life :lol
I mentioned in the last few pages about how I asked a girl to dinner.. she didn't reply.. I dont care, I know where I went wrong and im not wasting anymore time..
So dont dwell on getting called a creep by a single girl on Facebook and get out there more
Get used to rejection too because if your gonna get all cut up every time a woman rejects you or does something to piss you off your gonna have a hard life :lol
I mentioned in the last few pages about how I asked a girl to dinner.. she didn't reply.. I dont care, I know where I went wrong and im not wasting anymore time..
So dont dwell on getting called a creep by a single girl on Facebook and get out there more
BladeWorker
Member
It's possible she's just experiencing some doubts about her current relationship and is using you (though probably not intentionally) as a foil for everything she thinks she wants but isn't getting through her current circumstances (more space? something different? who knows.) It could be a phase, or it could be something that as a friend, it's okay to point out to her that she seems "off" and you hope she works through whatever's going on. May not even be her relationship - it could just be her "growing up" as it were, whatever that means...ngower said:
Good friend or not, if she makes an advance (and good on you for refusing to be the guy who breaks up a long-term relationship) then it's not out of line for you to say directly to her that you're not going to be that guy, and if she's actually serious about being with you (or anyone other than her current SO) then she needs to do right by her relationship and make a clean exit. Otherwise, you're incommunicado.
For now, seeing her from time to time is fair enough - just make sure you keep being the good friend and continue to discourage her escapist fantasies. Reality may suck but it's the world we live in.
BladeWorker said:
She had texted me last night after I left her suite (college) that she's interested, but I told her to sleep on it and we can talk about it properly tomorrow (today). Basically she's in an open relationship and her boyfriend is aware of her interest and that she has had boyfriends before.
I essentially told her it 1) completely violates my moral code and 2) seems very much one-sided as for me I don't get to go home during breaks to anyone. I told her I tried to be very distant any time she showed interest as to not mislead her, which she was aware of.
I know things will be awkward for the time being, but I have been trying to be communicative and let her know that before being passive aggressive, just directly tell me what she is or is not upset about.
I think some repairs will be in order over the next couple of weeks, but we'll see how things play out.
[EDIT] She just sent a rather passive aggressive Facebook note, only moments after our little discussion. I tried to remain pacifist and strain from impulsivity, though I think she might interpret my response as arrogant. I suppose the reparations will be harder than I anticipated.
grap3fruitman
Banned
I'm not that fortunate the be able to.Shawsie64 said:
Yes, it is that hard.Shawsie64 said:
I thought I was, seeing as that's all I've gotten my entire life.Shawsie64 said:
Yeah, basically.Shawsie64 said:
Basically every girl I've ever tried talking to has come to the same conclusion and I don't know what I do to convey that.Shawsie64 said:So dont dwell on getting called a creep by a single girl on Facebook and get out there more
This just opened up old wounds and now I'm back to my usual depressed self.
I hate women.
Bam Bam Baklava
Member
grap3fruitman said:
This brings up an interesting question. Some guys get rejected some of the time but many guys get rejected A LOT of the time and probably have to go through like a hundred rejections to get somewhere. How do you deal with that.
Ether_Snake
å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®
Damn that girl is pretty. Love that hair.
edit: goddamnit your avatar changes. I mean the one that blows a kiss.
Aesius
Member
MiDNiGHTS said:
I work with a guy who gets rejected constantly. Like, 2-3 rejections a week. He just laughs about it. But he also bones a few girls every month. He's not attractive and about 5'5". He knows it's a numbers game, and rejection doesn't phase him at all.
He's my idol.
Aesius said:
Yeah it is a numbers game, gotta keep on going.. if everyone stopped trying after a few rejections the human race wouldn't be around
grap3fruitman said:
Why you not fortunate enough to talk to girls?
Stopped being down on yourself.. what you think no one gets knocked back often? harden up
Solideliquid
Member
What's with asking out girls at work?
grap3fruitman
Banned
I don't see any in my day-to-day.Shawsie64 said:
You'd think I'd manage to succeed at least once.Shawsie64 said:Stopped being down on yourself.. what you think no one gets knocked back often? harden up
Suicide is the usual antidote.MiDNiGHTS said:
So I feel like today i've reached my relationship peak
Im talking about the moment a person realizes theyll never find their ideal mate out there or anything even close to that. The moment a person realizes that theyre gonna have to either lower their expectations and settle for less or just be single for the rest of their life. Its kinda of disheartening.
I dont know what it is but for some reason women only see me as a friend and it is frustrating
I have decided to come to this topic for any sort of help
Im talking about the moment a person realizes theyll never find their ideal mate out there or anything even close to that. The moment a person realizes that theyre gonna have to either lower their expectations and settle for less or just be single for the rest of their life. Its kinda of disheartening.
I dont know what it is but for some reason women only see me as a friend and it is frustrating
I have decided to come to this topic for any sort of help
I've decided to post here just to vent a little of my frustration. simply put, a girl who I liked as a friend, has now become a roommate and after living together for a little while I've found that she has qualities that make me really like her as more than just a friend. However I hesitate to bring anything up because if she doesn't feel the same way I can't have her living with me due to the awkwardness, and I don't want to be forced to kick her out of my place just cause of my feelings.
I just can't seem to give up. So I didn't send the confrontational text. I've decided to do the most rational of the irrational things to do and that's to wait it out for a bit and try again. Be it texting her out of the blue after awhile or seeing her in person. I don't know. But if it's been awhile, if I show up in person, that should be okay right?
Dabookerman
Member
Tell me about it. I've sent 10 messages roughly. 2 replies back. One of the girls I really like. But they take ages to reply. Like 2 days or something. I just find it odd. I normally reply within an hour ( I get email alerts on my iPhone so.. ). If they were busy then fine.. But that isn't the case it may seem. Seems they're playing some sorta waiting game... Its kinda stressing me out, I thought the whole point of online dating was to remove all the annoyances.. Or most of them from real dating.jamesinclair said:
jamesinclair
Banned
Dabookerman said:
Yeah, the only girl replying to me seems sort of dumb, and her replies are like two words long.
Im like "Blah blah blah....What are you studying"?
She says "business"
And nothing more.
Thats not how conversations work damnit!
Ask her out for dinner or whatever and take it from there.Insaniac said:
Keep asking her out and she's bound to say something
edit: If people are being silly about things (not replying for ages/one word replies) don't bother. You can't have a nice/enjoyable relationship with someone who doesn't care about conversation so early on and can't be bothered to try.
Online dating is rough in general. Girls hardly message back, and then they do it's usually in the form of some automated 'No' message, or not at all. I think this is because most girls get absolutely swamped on those websites by guys, so they can afford to be picky.
At least, that's how it was with me and my gf, whom I met at such a site. I would send out messages, not automated ones but written ones with references to girl X's account and profile and such. I've gotten a few dates out of it, but boy did I get flatout rejected or ignored a lot. My GF, on the other hand, got absolutely swamped by guys and she didn't even have a picture on that website, which is what turns most people off replying. Guys shoot themselves in the foot on those websites by spamming every chick they see, but on the other hand you gotta make yourself known somehow. Still, building an attractive profile and see what happens is better then messaging your brains out.
At least, that's how it was with me and my gf, whom I met at such a site. I would send out messages, not automated ones but written ones with references to girl X's account and profile and such. I've gotten a few dates out of it, but boy did I get flatout rejected or ignored a lot. My GF, on the other hand, got absolutely swamped by guys and she didn't even have a picture on that website, which is what turns most people off replying. Guys shoot themselves in the foot on those websites by spamming every chick they see, but on the other hand you gotta make yourself known somehow. Still, building an attractive profile and see what happens is better then messaging your brains out.
jamesinclair
Banned
Dina said:
Yeah, Ive gone on a date with an internet girl, and she said she got 30 replies as soon as she created her profile.
Enco said:
I agree. If thats my first impression of you....no thanks, you suck.
On the other hand, Ive got time to kill, so I simply refuse to get hopeful and play along.
POWERSPHERE
Member
Whoompthereitis said:
Good lad.
Online dating is bullshit. As previously stated, girls seem to have way more opportunities than us. We are more... implusive. They are more selective. That's the impression I get.
Anyway, I'm 27 and have never been in a relationship. Thing is, I really don't want to! The thought of damn near living with someone scares me. I am used to making my own rules, I guess. I just do not like the idea of being in a relationship anymore.
Now, a girl that I can get to know as a friend and have sex with would be nice, but really, that's not easy to do unless you wanna hook up with a chick who has 10 STD's. So, I get frustrated and give up. Plus, my new job requires me to work very late M-F, not exactly ideal if you are looking for a girl.
Anyway, I'm 27 and have never been in a relationship. Thing is, I really don't want to! The thought of damn near living with someone scares me. I am used to making my own rules, I guess. I just do not like the idea of being in a relationship anymore.
Now, a girl that I can get to know as a friend and have sex with would be nice, but really, that's not easy to do unless you wanna hook up with a chick who has 10 STD's. So, I get frustrated and give up. Plus, my new job requires me to work very late M-F, not exactly ideal if you are looking for a girl.
hydragonwarrior
Member
Diablos said:
In that case, you got nothing to lose so you might as well give it a shot.
Aesius
Member
It's 3 a.m. and I've been tossing and turning for the past two hours, thinking about relationships and women.
Finally calmed down, and starting re-reading bits and pieces of The Game. And beat the hell out of myself mentally for being nearly 24 years old and still letting opportunity after opportunity pass me by. I'm a fairly good looking dude. I'm tall. I'm funny. I actually sort of have game. I'm reasonably confident, and can fake it when necessary. There is absolutely no reason for me to not be at least somewhat successful with women.
But I don't fucking try. I take the girls who fall into my lap, and that's it. I've never pursued a girl. I've never "pulled" a girl. All of my past girlfriends have been sure things. That's probably why I latch onto them, despite not being 100% attracted. I approach cautiously, and by the time I make my move they've already almost given up on me.
And the ones I am 100% attracted to? Well, they come and go, because I don't do a god damn thing about it. I have three different girls throughout my life who could qualify as "the one who got away", and I probably had a good shot at landing all of them. But they were dangerous and uncertain. So I backed off and hid.
I've been feeling kind of shitty about being dumped and having to be single again, but fuck it - she gave me the greatest gift anyone could possibly give me. A chance to redeem myself and actually get out there and see what I'm capable of. A chance to find someone I'll be truly happy with. Or hell, just a chance to date. To put myself out there, face potential rejection, and finally know what it's like to be a typical 20 something male in the dating world.
I just pray to god that this attitude change/epiphany lasts beyond tonight, because I really need it.
Finally calmed down, and starting re-reading bits and pieces of The Game. And beat the hell out of myself mentally for being nearly 24 years old and still letting opportunity after opportunity pass me by. I'm a fairly good looking dude. I'm tall. I'm funny. I actually sort of have game. I'm reasonably confident, and can fake it when necessary. There is absolutely no reason for me to not be at least somewhat successful with women.
But I don't fucking try. I take the girls who fall into my lap, and that's it. I've never pursued a girl. I've never "pulled" a girl. All of my past girlfriends have been sure things. That's probably why I latch onto them, despite not being 100% attracted. I approach cautiously, and by the time I make my move they've already almost given up on me.
And the ones I am 100% attracted to? Well, they come and go, because I don't do a god damn thing about it. I have three different girls throughout my life who could qualify as "the one who got away", and I probably had a good shot at landing all of them. But they were dangerous and uncertain. So I backed off and hid.
I've been feeling kind of shitty about being dumped and having to be single again, but fuck it - she gave me the greatest gift anyone could possibly give me. A chance to redeem myself and actually get out there and see what I'm capable of. A chance to find someone I'll be truly happy with. Or hell, just a chance to date. To put myself out there, face potential rejection, and finally know what it's like to be a typical 20 something male in the dating world.
I just pray to god that this attitude change/epiphany lasts beyond tonight, because I really need it.
Are you guys struggling with online dating just copying and pasting the same message to everyone? My girlfriend said she got around 20 messages a day, but I was the only person she actually went on a date with because my message was unique and personal (in fact it was kinda weird, I accidentally hit a 'like' button to something I really didn't want to and then emailed to apologise!) - we've had problems (who doesn't?!) but generally things are pretty amazing right now, very happy, so thank you GAF!
(edit) I'm 25 btw, and was single between 21-25... no way is 26 too old to find someone, not even close (no age is too old, but too old at 26 is a joke!)
(edit) I'm 25 btw, and was single between 21-25... no way is 26 too old to find someone, not even close (no age is too old, but too old at 26 is a joke!)
How do you expect to attract a woman when you say things like this? I suspect you mean it, and if that's the case, it's going to show in your body language. Most women are really keen on picking up on that, so there is a good chance you are repelling them with your first impression.grap3fruitman said:
I barely know you, but your Internet posts seem very abrasive. You walk around with a chip on your shoulder like the world owes you something. Do you think you're going to find success in dating (i.e., being with someone) with a hostile attitude? If not, then look to change that. Become more self-aware and work on addressing your flaws... or continue doing what you've been doing and getting the same results.
Dabookerman said:
You're replying too early and appearing needy. People with a lot going on in their lives don't stare at their inbox waiting for a reply to pop up and then reply right away. Try waiting 8-12 hours before replying, and don't be surprised if girls reply to you a week or two later. Online dating should be a possible means to getting a date, not the only method you try. If you have a full schedule between seeing friends, going on dates, school/work, skydiving, you don't have time to reply to every message right away, and neither should your girl (assuming she is also high value).
Dabookerman
Member
Ugh. This is exactly what I hate. The fact that I have to do something I don't normally do. I am used to replying to people asap, it's not just limited to dating sites. If I get a reply, I reply back, it's nothing to do with being needy. So fecking annoying.Eggo said:
SpectreFire
Member
Bull-fucking-shit.Eggo said:
In the age of iPhones and Blackberries, everyone's checking their emails and facebooks every 10 minutes. If you're purposely waiting 8-12 hours to reply in order to not seem needy, then sorry to break it to you, but that makes you even more needy.
I hate the 'high value' rubbish too. Sounds like something fresh from some crappy PUA forum.
I have a great job, as well as some contract stuff on the side that earns me a lot of extra cash. I see my mates often, play sports, go out to a lot of gigs and am generally a pretty busy guy - but if I reply quickly because I get a message on my phone (that's always with me) I'd be perceived as 'low value'?
It's a bollocks term anyway. I'm so glad I'm with someone who doesn't give a fuck how big my house is, how good my job is, and how good my 'status' is (particularly because I kinda got into the mindset that these things were the only way I'd ever find a decent girl, thanks to comments like the above! ^^)
I have a great job, as well as some contract stuff on the side that earns me a lot of extra cash. I see my mates often, play sports, go out to a lot of gigs and am generally a pretty busy guy - but if I reply quickly because I get a message on my phone (that's always with me) I'd be perceived as 'low value'?
It's a bollocks term anyway. I'm so glad I'm with someone who doesn't give a fuck how big my house is, how good my job is, and how good my 'status' is (particularly because I kinda got into the mindset that these things were the only way I'd ever find a decent girl, thanks to comments like the above! ^^)
So. GAF. It is 4AM and I'm horrifically jet-lagged waiting for a batch of chicken strips to finish in the oven, so let me relay my girl-age tales as some kind of slightly motivational update to things I posted thousand and thousands of posts ago, before the thread took a seemingly dick-ish turn.
Back in May-June, after a two-week trip to Japan for work and another trip immediately after for a friend's wedding, I began to really contemplate how much I had grown to dislike most aspects of my life (excluding Work itself, which was going the best it ever ). I had been single for years, with pretty much nothing in the five years since starting my first attempt at graduate school, a combination of no opportunity and a lack of trying.
So over the subsequent months, I (among some other drastic life changes) lost 25+ (now 30+) pounds (195->165) and really tried to turn around my luck with women, to decent success.
Like others have said, internet dating has its problems, but it isn't at all hopeless (OKCupid, at least). Low response rates, slow responses, and the huge dis-proportionality between Men and Women that send first messages leads to an often demoralizing feeling of disinterest from the opposite sex.
Use Quick Match. It's the system that cycles you through pictures and snippets of their profile and prompts you to give a rating, then if you both have given 4 or 5, it sends you a message telling you. It's a good indication of what women would be willing to meet and/or fuck you, and the response rate is going to be much, much higher if you are only messaging women that have seen your profile and pictures and already liked them. I went 4 weeks on the site without any meetings, but then got some with 48 of starting to use Quick Match (and, actually, she messaged me first, saying that I "seem cute/awesome".) I also have another tentative date for this weekend or something from Quick Match, and (as soon as the girl actually logs in and checks her messages) will probably have plans to meet somebody from the city (she had actually apologized for not responding to my previous message quickly). There's also a decent stack of good Quick Match results in my inbox that I intend on responding to, and a cute undergrad that messaged me outside of that system with book recommendations (which I ask for in my profile), and saying she really likes that I bake (which I also mention).
Weight is the issue with OKCupid though. Cute, cool, and often rather successful women, that weigh 20, 30, or more pounds over what I would prefer.
Which brings me in to meeting women in RL. Work is essentially all dudes, and all of those dudes only know dudes, and said dudes and their wives have mostly moved across the country or world to work here and don't really know anybody at all, so it's mostly a waste when it comes to finding women. Likewise, being a science nerd with other engineering friends none of them or their wives and girlfriends really know any single women either. So I'm left in really peculiar position of having to really pick up some more activities or start hitting bars alone in any hopes of actually meeting available women in person, and having to go to a drastic extreme to actually increase the numbers enough to have chances to genuinely practice and improve my game. Now that I'm living off-campus (a commuter school in the country), nearby social prospects have died even further.
But that's not the whole story. There have been some women I've met in person, just that they've been complete disasters.
I was at a two-week school program. 55 guys, 10 women, horrific pile-ons on the few moderately attractive women. Would have made a move on the only American one, but the program had ~14 hour days leaving no free time for dates, and she quickly grew close to some dude from overseas.
A tiny Asian girl with glasses blatantly fell for me, but I wasn't interested, and any attempts by her to confess her love fell through for various reasons (when I turned around from a group walk due to being excessively cold and drunk, she really wanted to walk back together with me, but I turned her down, and on the final night she wanted to stop by my hotel room to say goodbye before the early flight the next day, but I didn't get back until very, very late). And I did get along with and elicited plenty of laughs and smiles from most of the other women there, so the one real "rejection" doesn't hurt as much.
And there was a hot and cute girl at my work's board game night that rejected me yesterday. She's an intern leaving in a few weeks that travels pretty much every weekend, and just fed me BS line about being "pretty busy" when I tried to make plans with her. Not that I really did anything that would have made her interested in me anyway; it's a work-related game night where we are surrounded by 40~50 year-olds or socially awkward graduate students focused on playing the games on hand, so there's not much room for any real conversations. I knew going in that it was a long-shot, but I had been wanting to ask her out for over a month but never got the chance for various scheduling or timing reasons. I'm kind of just glad I asked and got it over with so I can purge that hope from my mind ("the worst that can happen is that you'll never know," a friend once told me in High School).
After all this, it kind of feels like internet dating is more normal than the fucked up social and work life that I have to deal with for "regular" dating.
At this point, 5 months after deciding to change my life, I've accepted that, yes, there are women interested in me, and that I offer meaningful things to relationships or friendship. But if I can't attract the women that I'm interested in, what is the point? Now I have a second wind to improve myself further. Lose more weight, buy a better wardrobe (kind of necessary after losing 30 pounds), be more positive, sign up at the local pool and dance lessons, and get more game. I really have my work set out for me, daunting but manageable.
EDIT: The chicken was quite good.
Yes, I agree, it is dumb. Punctual responses can be considered a bad thing? What a fucking load of bullshit. I'm Mr. Super Punctual and Timely, and a world that regards those as bad things, like, ever, is quite a shitty world indeed.
Back in May-June, after a two-week trip to Japan for work and another trip immediately after for a friend's wedding, I began to really contemplate how much I had grown to dislike most aspects of my life (excluding Work itself, which was going the best it ever ). I had been single for years, with pretty much nothing in the five years since starting my first attempt at graduate school, a combination of no opportunity and a lack of trying.
So over the subsequent months, I (among some other drastic life changes) lost 25+ (now 30+) pounds (195->165) and really tried to turn around my luck with women, to decent success.
Like others have said, internet dating has its problems, but it isn't at all hopeless (OKCupid, at least). Low response rates, slow responses, and the huge dis-proportionality between Men and Women that send first messages leads to an often demoralizing feeling of disinterest from the opposite sex.
Use Quick Match. It's the system that cycles you through pictures and snippets of their profile and prompts you to give a rating, then if you both have given 4 or 5, it sends you a message telling you. It's a good indication of what women would be willing to meet and/or fuck you, and the response rate is going to be much, much higher if you are only messaging women that have seen your profile and pictures and already liked them. I went 4 weeks on the site without any meetings, but then got some with 48 of starting to use Quick Match (and, actually, she messaged me first, saying that I "seem cute/awesome".) I also have another tentative date for this weekend or something from Quick Match, and (as soon as the girl actually logs in and checks her messages) will probably have plans to meet somebody from the city (she had actually apologized for not responding to my previous message quickly). There's also a decent stack of good Quick Match results in my inbox that I intend on responding to, and a cute undergrad that messaged me outside of that system with book recommendations (which I ask for in my profile), and saying she really likes that I bake (which I also mention).
Weight is the issue with OKCupid though. Cute, cool, and often rather successful women, that weigh 20, 30, or more pounds over what I would prefer.
Which brings me in to meeting women in RL. Work is essentially all dudes, and all of those dudes only know dudes, and said dudes and their wives have mostly moved across the country or world to work here and don't really know anybody at all, so it's mostly a waste when it comes to finding women. Likewise, being a science nerd with other engineering friends none of them or their wives and girlfriends really know any single women either. So I'm left in really peculiar position of having to really pick up some more activities or start hitting bars alone in any hopes of actually meeting available women in person, and having to go to a drastic extreme to actually increase the numbers enough to have chances to genuinely practice and improve my game. Now that I'm living off-campus (a commuter school in the country), nearby social prospects have died even further.
But that's not the whole story. There have been some women I've met in person, just that they've been complete disasters.
I was at a two-week school program. 55 guys, 10 women, horrific pile-ons on the few moderately attractive women. Would have made a move on the only American one, but the program had ~14 hour days leaving no free time for dates, and she quickly grew close to some dude from overseas.
A tiny Asian girl with glasses blatantly fell for me, but I wasn't interested, and any attempts by her to confess her love fell through for various reasons (when I turned around from a group walk due to being excessively cold and drunk, she really wanted to walk back together with me, but I turned her down, and on the final night she wanted to stop by my hotel room to say goodbye before the early flight the next day, but I didn't get back until very, very late). And I did get along with and elicited plenty of laughs and smiles from most of the other women there, so the one real "rejection" doesn't hurt as much.
And there was a hot and cute girl at my work's board game night that rejected me yesterday. She's an intern leaving in a few weeks that travels pretty much every weekend, and just fed me BS line about being "pretty busy" when I tried to make plans with her. Not that I really did anything that would have made her interested in me anyway; it's a work-related game night where we are surrounded by 40~50 year-olds or socially awkward graduate students focused on playing the games on hand, so there's not much room for any real conversations. I knew going in that it was a long-shot, but I had been wanting to ask her out for over a month but never got the chance for various scheduling or timing reasons. I'm kind of just glad I asked and got it over with so I can purge that hope from my mind ("the worst that can happen is that you'll never know," a friend once told me in High School).
After all this, it kind of feels like internet dating is more normal than the fucked up social and work life that I have to deal with for "regular" dating.
At this point, 5 months after deciding to change my life, I've accepted that, yes, there are women interested in me, and that I offer meaningful things to relationships or friendship. But if I can't attract the women that I'm interested in, what is the point? Now I have a second wind to improve myself further. Lose more weight, buy a better wardrobe (kind of necessary after losing 30 pounds), be more positive, sign up at the local pool and dance lessons, and get more game. I really have my work set out for me, daunting but manageable.
EDIT: The chicken was quite good.
Dabookerman said:
Yes, I agree, it is dumb. Punctual responses can be considered a bad thing? What a fucking load of bullshit. I'm Mr. Super Punctual and Timely, and a world that regards those as bad things, like, ever, is quite a shitty world indeed.
JORMBO
Darkness no more
blizeH said:
This is my experience as well. At most I normally send out 2 messages to 2 different girls at a time. I always make sure the girl really interests me, then I take time and send over a nice message. My profile is well written too. I almost always get a response back. There are some times when weeks go by and no profiles really catch my eye at the time, so I just don't message anyone.
I think every girl I've been out with has mentioned they get tons of messages, but mine was the rare one that showed I read her profile and was genuinely interested in getting to know her more.
Dabookerman said:
I'm this way too. If I get a message and I have time to read it I reply then. It might be the next day, it might be 10 minutes later. If that bothers someone that I've responded too quick then they aren't the right person for me.
grap3fruitman
Banned
And maybe some women that don't find me repulsive.Ezalc said:
I've kind of given up on expecting that at this point.Eggo said:
Internet tough guy, I was picked on as a kid and now I'm a dick online to compensate.Eggo said:
No.Eggo said:
I don't treat women like this. If I manage to, I awkwardly confront them and then get told I come off as creepy.Eggo said:
Except I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing wrong. I won't even get to really talk to a girl, not that I have anything to say, but I always get the same reaction with every single person.Eggo said:
grap3fruitman
Banned
Did you miss the post right above yours? The one where I state:Magik said:
andgrap3fruitman said:
grap3fruitman said:
Did you seriously not read the multiple times where I state that I don't treat women like dicks and that I'm afraid to approach them and the few times I do I get shot down immediately?Magik said:
WyndhamPrice
Member
grap3fruitman said:
How about you stop trying to compensate and just be yourself? Zero yourself out and start over. Nobody likes an internet tough guy.
grap3fruitman
Banned
That helps with women how? And to be fair, I'm very bitter in this thread because of the constant "advice" that doesn't work.WyndhamPrice said:
Jedeye Sniv
Banned
Not been in this thread for a while, it seems to me that Grap3fruitman is our new Combine which is kinda sad. I understand how frustrating it is looking for a girl, but really whining about it on a message board is not the way to go about it. People have given you loads of very reasonable advice, you need to find a way to make it work for you.
In my experience, focus more on making friends in your real life. Men and women. If you have a large enough social group then women literally do just come along. Find local interest groups, go to pub quizzes, make sure when you get invites to stuff on FB you go along. You mihgt not find a girl right away, but friends you make might know women and so on.
Also, if you like music get in a band, this worked wonders for me. It's the tried and tested rule to get girls to like you. Can't play guitar, play bass instead. It's 10x easier and looks cooler (unless you're a tiny man, in which case it looks a little silly...)
EDIT: also, being an 'internet tough guy' is just silly. Be nice, people respond to it well.
In my experience, focus more on making friends in your real life. Men and women. If you have a large enough social group then women literally do just come along. Find local interest groups, go to pub quizzes, make sure when you get invites to stuff on FB you go along. You mihgt not find a girl right away, but friends you make might know women and so on.
Also, if you like music get in a band, this worked wonders for me. It's the tried and tested rule to get girls to like you. Can't play guitar, play bass instead. It's 10x easier and looks cooler (unless you're a tiny man, in which case it looks a little silly...)
EDIT: also, being an 'internet tough guy' is just silly. Be nice, people respond to it well.
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