This is such condescending bullshit. It's not about the kiss, it's about the break in trust.
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Girlfriend kissed her ex-boyfriend
- Thread starter peanutbutterlatte
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This is such condescending bullshit. It's not about the kiss, it's about the break in trust.
You're right. I apologize for the condescending tone of what I said. But I'm still on this side. Breaks in trust can, and have been forgiven.
Ian
Banned
They are completely separate, on that we agree. However, one thing leads to another and if you have a monogamous relationship (or you think you do) then neither are acceptable.
BishopLamont
Banned
Sometimes you just gotta take the L, if you wanna stay sane, the quicker he can get over all of it, the better, stringing it along won't help that one bit.
GhostWriter24
Member
Mistakes happen. Take her word for it that she'll never see him again, but if it happens once more you know what to do.
BishopLamont
Banned
Thats the thing, you don't "just" kiss an ex, what kinda bullshit is that? Oh I "just" accidentally fucked him, I "just" let him put his hands down my pants, whats the difference?
People never confess 100% truth, thats the thing that ruins relationships, which is understandable but fucked up none the less, for all we know she fucked him.
Ian
Banned
But that's just the thing. I wouldn't do that to a girlfriend. If I felt like I wanted to do that I would end the relationship myself as it obviously isn't working.
there is no such thing as "just" kissed her. Even so, the bigger mistake is even spending time with the ex at all in the first place.
Trust broken, she clearly haven't let go of the ex. Best to get out.
Epsilon-delta
Banned
I wouldn't do that in the first place and if I did, I'll make the decision for her by ending it myself.
Yes.
Is it that hard to understand? Have you been in a monogamous relationship before?
I think it's a break of trust, but I also believe trust can be rebuilt, it just takes an enormous amount of time, effort and patience.
Nothing will ever be the same. That bit of information will stay with her forever and she'll have her doubts from then on.
My first two relationships were, but the first ended because she cheated on me, and the second ended because I cheated on her. And before you say anything, the situations in those cases were very different from this.
But yeah, every relationship I've had since has been polyamorous. Because of my past, and my experiences and my peers and friends, I don't think in monogamy anymore. I do have some trouble understanding the thinking here. :/
triplestation
Member
Be a fucking man and do what needs to be done
Move on from that ho and find someone loyal
Move on from that ho and find someone loyal
BishopLamont
Banned
Talking about this shit is getting me riled up, lol im outta here.
Good luck to you OP, only you know her best (keyword best, you yourself can be fooled). If you're gonna stay with her, get this shit straight and make sure you can still trust her moving forward.
Good luck to you OP, only you know her best (keyword best, you yourself can be fooled). If you're gonna stay with her, get this shit straight and make sure you can still trust her moving forward.
Its very simple, she kissed her ex, so obviously there's feelings involved, and to be honest girls are more opportunists then guys are, they're gonna move on the next much quicker than you do, ending it is for the OP's sake coz it seems like he cares enough about her, and it isn't just about sex to him. I'm not really sure why you're so confused if you've been through it.
Yeah and the funniest thing of all is that they eventually give out more information when they think the time is right, eg. when their care factor outweighs their guilt.
I don't even have to understand the situations you were in to tell you "cheating" is about a break of trust. If both of your relationships ended due to this, what else is there to understand?
MemoryHumanity
Member
End it.
BigEvilTurtle
Banned
It doesn't matter if the situations were different. It's cheating, plain and simple, and apparently two of your monogamous relationships ended because of that. It shouldn't be difficult for you, then, to understand why OP's relationship is in jeopardy. Cheating in any shape or form can and usually will ruin relationships.
No, but I would not blame her if she did. Even in this scenario where I cheated on her and I truly mean it that I will never do it again, it doesn't change the fact that it happened. And it's going to sour the relationship because it's going to be brought up again and again.
The forgiving is the easy part, not the forgetting.
CrudeDiatribe
Member
Maybe the OP can give her your email address.
Because in those two cases it wasn't just a kiss built up upon nostalgic and happy feelings with a past ex, and feeling guilty about it. It was spiteful, angry revenge sex, with a stranger that was public knowledge and embarrassing.
Indeed.
The thinking is that once trust is broken you can pretty much never go back to the way things were. That uncertainty will always be there to some degree, and in the long run more often than not will make things miserable for both you and her. She will always have some suspicions and you will feel bad for being someone that cant be fully trusted in the eyes of the one person you want to have complete trust in you.
On this, I guess we will just have to agree to disagree.
Don't see what's difficult to understand, let's call a spade a spade. She cheated. And broke the trust that he had for her. He's obviously hurt. And deep down, he's contemplating that he should end it because she was unfaithful. It's simple. Lol.
Should he stay? That's clearly up to him. But not everyone has the same tolerance for what they consider cheating. I know I wouldn't, and I'm glad other people feel the same. People should have the foresight for situations like that. It's heartache that could've been avoided.
Should he stay? That's clearly up to him. But not everyone has the same tolerance for what they consider cheating. I know I wouldn't, and I'm glad other people feel the same. People should have the foresight for situations like that. It's heartache that could've been avoided.
TheContact
Member
be a man, OP dump your cheating GF
Epsilon-delta
Banned
Your past experiences must have rocked you to your core in order to make such a drastic change in ideals. I almost feel bad for you.
Yeah. If I could go back, I don't know if I would do it the same way. But I'm happy now. Polygamy, open relationships, cuckolding. It all fascinates me and it is a part of my life now that won't go away.
-COOLIO-
The Everyman
Well done sir
However you decide to wrap it, it's still cheating. You do not get intimately involved with other people, in any way shape or form when you're involved in a monogamous relationship. Trust is such a vital component that you easily will jeopardize everything you have going with your partner, if you decide to break it. It's a sacred bond you just don't mess with.
This is just my opinion, but If you can't trust the person you're with, then there honestly isn't a reason to be with that person at all.
I H8 Memes
Member
No not half the population. Just the hot ones. Men are perfectly capable of being just friends with an ugly girl.
She was honest enough to admit it immediately. Sounds like trust to me.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
I would never be stupid enough to start kissing exes while in a relationship. You make it sound like it's some common thing.
OP, I hope the choice you make is a wise one. Don't let her tears and her saying she regrets it dictate how you truly feel about the situation. If you're gonna forgive and forget, then do so and get to working. Just when you do that, make sure you mean it. It wouldn't be healthy if you secretly kept that resentment inside for the whole relationship.
Perhaps in France
Epsilon-delta
Banned
You're confusing trust with honesty.
No, it sounds like someone to justify or admit their break of trust, which isn't necessarily bad.
That's not what trust means. If the relationship was predicated on "don't kiss anyone else unless you tell me afterwards" THEN it wouldn't be a breach of trust.
Or they have a context for relationships you have admitted to lacking.
D
Deleted member 125677
Unconfirmed Member
Shit happens, the important thing is she told you. You can still trust her.
It's not a big deal, but you're allowed to feel upset and bad about it. If things are great between you otherwise, just remember she told you when she fucked up.
So basically : trust is more important than slip-ups in relationships
It's not a big deal, but you're allowed to feel upset and bad about it. If things are great between you otherwise, just remember she told you when she fucked up.
So basically : trust is more important than slip-ups in relationships
BigEvilTurtle
Banned
The more I think about this situation, the more I start to see both sides. A lot of people are seeing this a breach of trust which is totally true, but we're missing a big part of the picture. She was kissing her ex-boyfriend. This may confirm that she still has feelings for or may even love him. This is almost as big an issue as the breach of trust in my opinion. Not only can she not control her sexual urges, but she can't control her emotional ones either. Bad bad bad situation, OP.
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