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[beto]

It fucking sucks dick!

I just finished up a serving on a two week medical malpractice trial. Some 73 year old guy was suing about his penile prosthesis. So two weeks of looking at 73 year old cock and balls. Then having to listen to him and his wife talk about how they have sex; (oral, manual, vibrators, sex w/the prosthesis, diff positions too). I felt like I was in an anatomy class, I can tell you all about how male sexual organs work, and recommend a type of prosthesis if you ever become organically impotent.

Anyone else serve on a shitty trial?

 

[xsarien]

No, I get out of it.

 

[cvxfreak]

My dad, who's an immigrant, pretended not to have good English. And it worked! :lol

 

[bionic77]

It fucking sucks dick!

I just finished up a serving on a two week medical malpractice trial. Some 73 year old guy was suing about his penile prosthesis. So two weeks of looking at 73 year old cock and balls. Then having to listen to him and his wife talk about how they have sex; (oral, manual, vibrators, sex w/the prosthesis, diff positions too). I felt like I was in an anatomy class, I can tell you all about how male sexual organs work, and recommend a type of prosthesis if you ever become organically impotent.

Anyone else serve on a shitty trial?

Who won?

 

[xsarien]

I basically just said to the lawyers, "This case is stupid, and there's no way in hell I could judge it on its merits because it has none to stand on." (It was some personal injury thing, between *relatives*, no less.)

They let me go.

 

[beto]

We sided with the doctors. The plaintiff had to prove all four points by the rule of law. He only proved a couple, is was an all or nothing type of thing. The guy was suing for close to a million dollars too, his lawyer didn't look too happy when they read the verdict. I personally think the wife was controlling the whole thing. When he was up on the witness stand he couldn't remember a thing and kept looking over for a nod or wink from her.

 

[Ninja Scooter]

i had to serve on a child molestation case a few months ago. Worst. Week. Ever.

 

[Wario64]

I had to report in August for some pedophile case, but the two sides settled for an agreement and I didnt need to make a bullshit excuse to get out of it

 

[beto]

Looking at old people privates doesn't sound so bad anymore

 

[3phemeral]

I was the alternate Jury for this car accident case where an elderly Jewish couple were suing this (very pretty) children's book author. The case was so absurd when I first got into that trial, but it was damned funny at the same time. I enjoyed going there everyday for this very reason alone, and I will never forget how the plaintiff owned himself while examining the defense's witness.

Anyway, the elderly couple hit the car in front of them and they blamed her for breaking too suddenly, so technically it was "her fault" that they were so irresponsible. The lawyer they hired was some hack they found out of a cracker box who didn't know left from right, and used sorry smirks and nonsense conclusions to try and persuade the jury. One Japanese guy thought it was so hilarious that he literally burst out laughing in the middle of the court, so the judge dismissed him temporarily so he could take a breath and control himself. We all thought it was pretty worthless being there; the case had no merit whatsoever.

Moving on, though. The true OWN3D moment came when the plaintiff was examining an expert on vehicular forensic science. He continually quoted an article that he read about car accident possibilities, damage studies, and the like. He would say things like, "According to so and so survey done in 1996, damage to the rear end of the vehicle showed no significant damage when... etc etc". He would always quote that study like it was the bible, but the forensic expert interrupted him and said that he was interpreting it wrong. Finally, the lawyer looked back at the forensic expert with his head cocked and a smile and said, "I don't believe you know what you're talking about... are you even familiar with this study... at all?!" To which then the forensic expert looked at him and said, "Yea, I'm familiar with it. I wrote the study." The Japanese guy had to be excused again for excessive laughter shortly thereafter.