• Hey Guest. Check out your NeoGAF Wrapped 2025 results here!

Have you ever fapped at work?

Status
Not open for further replies.
jakncoke said:
tumblr_mezqsqqyfL1rmh3jgo1_500.gif
Click to expand...

This always irritated me. Draw a better square, Uma Thurman.

"Don't be a rectangle" doesn't make any damn sense!
 
jakncoke said:
Maybe thats his end game ;)
Click to expand...

bb0357568420da93d6b58bc85cc8ed5f.png


But seriously, having sex at work was something I got over in HS. I mean sure the rush in the heat of the moment and then walking around constantly wondering if everyone knows is exhilarating, but it's not something I'd ever do to risk my livelyhood. The people who depend on me earning that paycheck and their futures are more important to me than satisfying some base fantasy.
 
One time I got a call in the middle of fapping. I didn't want to stop so I just answered it. Most shameful cumming I've ever experienced.
 
McLovin said:
One time I got a call in the middle of fapping. I didn't want to stop so I just answered it. Most shameful cumming I've ever experienced.
Click to expand...

My big fear, whenever I have my phone on me, is that I'll accidentally call someone, they hear noises, and they don't hang up....
 
Hell no. One time a coworker heard someone doing this at work in the stall next to him and was horrified. The guy doing it thought the restroom was empty, and my friend was too nervous to make a sound so he sat there for the entire performance. I though t this was pretty hilarious but he was mortified. We are pretty sure we know who it was and the guy is 60.
 
potam said:
I used to jerk off all the time in the Army. Mainly in the guard towers, so that doesn't really count. My favorite was when a buddy and I were guarding the trucks at night. He went in to go get our replacements, and I had like 5 minutes to jerk it out in the open and hope nobody manning any cameras saw me. It was glorious.
Click to expand...

image.php
 
Northeastmonk said:
Was it your friend or was it instant? Were you getting your hair cut and she said, "let's go have sex in the back room?".
Click to expand...
A secret hook-up. She used to cut my hair and it all kinda started from there really. I knew something was up when she'd force me to let her wash my hair eventhough I had showered and had no wax in my hair before going in. The manager would cut my hair too and always rub up on me. Come to think of it, it was totally a porno waiting to happen. God I was fucking stupid and oblivious when I was younger.

Edit: How it would go down is she'd text me nudes and tell me to come get my hair cut. Pretty awesome being a booty call AND get free hair cuts.
 
t's been a great weekend for threads here on GAF. I'm glad I have no life this weekend.

Does moderating count as work? I can unzip right here.
 
potam said:
I used to jerk off all the time in the Army. Mainly in the guard towers, so that doesn't really count. My favorite was when a buddy and I were guarding the trucks at night. He went in to go get our replacements, and I had like 5 minutes to jerk it out in the open and hope nobody manning any cameras saw me. It was glorious.
Click to expand...

Everyone jerked off in the army. I remember jerking off while in guard duty in the middle of a night. Just hacking it hard in the middle of a forest made me feel like I was the king of the world.
 
pa22word said:
Lol hardly.

But keep up with whatever makes you feel better by justifying your stupid behavior. I'm sure it'll all work out in the end and not totally blow up in your face.
Click to expand...

It didn't actually. I quit the place and moved on. Take your moral outrage somewhere else
 
I've whacked off in the control room of a Ohio class nuclear submarine while we were doing periscope operations and we were rigged for black. You can't see your fingers in front of your face. Ton of people in the same room but no one could see.
 
Rad- said:
Everyone jerked off in the army. I remember jerking off while in guard duty in the middle of a night. Just hacking it hard in the middle of a forest made me feel like I was the king of the world.
Click to expand...

wave_of_feels-18739.gif


It's kind of like being able to pee wherever you want as a guy. It's such a liberating feeling jerking off where you're not supposed to. I need to try public sex.
 
You gotta masturbate twice a day to be successful, one in the morning and one after lunch. This is a prescription.
workfap.gif
 
Nealand Liquor said:
A secret hook-up. She used to cut my hair and it all kinda started from there really. I knew something was up when she'd force me to let her wash my hair eventhough I had showered and had no wax in my hair before going in. The manager would cut my hair too and always rub up on me. Come to think of it, it was totally a porno waiting to happen. God I was fucking stupid and oblivious when I was younger.

Edit: How it would go down is she'd text me nudes and tell me to come get my hair cut. Pretty awesome being a booty call AND get free hair cuts.
Click to expand...
How hot were they?
 
Coins said:
I've whacked off in the control room of a Ohio class nuclear submarine while we were doing periscope operations and we were rigged for black. You can't see your fingers in front of your face. Ton of people in the same room but no one could see.
Click to expand...

Edit: Don't your other senses heighten in that situation? Like hearing and smell?
 
Coins said:
I've whacked off in the control room of a Ohio class nuclear submarine while we were doing periscope operations and we were rigged for black. You can't see your fingers in front of your face. Ton of people in the same room but no one could see.
Click to expand...

I don't know why but reading this cracked me up.

I have never had the urges to do it, why would anybody risk their job over a minute of sticky pleasure is beyond me, it's not that hard to save the load for home guys.
 
pa22word said:
Saying fucking at work is a stupid thing to do, and implying you're more of an "adult" for doing so is kinda childish is moral outrage?
Click to expand...

Yes, yes it is. You're morally outraged and it's going to be okay. Just sit in a corner and cry, let it all out.
 
Yep, several times. Sometimes in the bathroom stall, sometimes in my car on lunch break. Usually because my wife is being a bad girl, haha.

Bring forth the avatar quotes.
 
I almost did one time. Some guy decided to sit down in the bathroom stall next to me and unleash the seventh circle of Hell from his ass though so I was quickly put down.
 
Nope. I don't want to get fired. I'm convinced one of my coworkers does. He's always gone for suspiciously long stretches of time.
 
lol @ people being so surprised at this thread. I'm pretty sure we had the exact same topic as a thread more than once before on GAF.

Noobs.
 
I have. I worked on a small beach bar for a couple of years, and it was one of those that had glass as walls all around it, and the counter was positioned in a way that i could hear people coming in but they couldn't see me until they were near me. From the counter, i could see pretty much the entire extension of the road along the beach and the people walking by.

It was on a cold and rainy day, so my bosses left me alone for the whole afternoon. I was completely alone, and i knew that the likelihood of someone coming in was extremely low, so i began to masturbate. The sense of voyeurism and public display was a big turn on, but after five minutes it just didn't seem as fun anymore, so i stopped. It felt like... fapping, that's it, nothing special about it. So i decided to sit down and watch the surfers instead.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

Have you ever gone viral?
2
98
357
ReBurn replied
This article is the most perfect description of corporate work I have ever read
Business  2
61
2K
nush replied
Have you ever been embarrassed by your school's sports team?
9
522
Hookshot replied
Have you ever participated in potholing or cave diving?
2 3
127
3K
NeoIkaruGAF replied
  • Poll
Have you ever reported a post?
37
1K
Fbh replied
Top Bottom