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Have you ever had ghost poop?

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You know I have a dog and it seems to me that my dog has clean cuts like 95% of the time. She doesn't even eat all that healthy maybe I need to work on my technique.
 
Miracle/ghost poops are always a pleasant surprise.

An unpleasant surprise, on the other hand, would be the dreaded splashback.

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Ghost poop is created when you have a fart that wants to come out at the same time. The fart surrounds the poop and acts as a barrier. Your poop never touches the walls of your asshole because the fart is acting a a cushion.

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Think of the wiener as your poop and the crescent roll as the fart. See how it cushions the poop and prevents it from touching the walls of the asshole.

my stomach just churned...
 
It's called a no-wipe. The likelihood is roughly similar to obtaining a no-hitter in baseball.

It's called a 'no wipe' and they are glorious.

Having trouble pushing one out? Put one of your feet onto the other legs knee as if you were on a park bench reading a paper. Thank me later as it somehow accelerates out of your hoop.

There's no such fucking thing as a "no-wipe". Bare minimum is one-wipe. Because you have to wipe at least once in order to discover that the wipe may or may not have been necessary. Running under the assumption that a wipe isn't necessary based on sensation alone is highly dubious.
 
While I agree that this is one of the greatest feelings, a better feeling is that of when you "clutch a flush". This is when your finished and there's so much poop and toilet paper in the bowl that you don't even know if it's going to go down and in the back of your head you're already thinking of bringing out the plunger. But then you flush and the toilet gives 110% and somehow manges to keep everything down with a last second gasp.
 
While I agree that this is one of the greatest feelings, a better feeling is that of when you "clutch a flush". This is when your finished and there's so much poop and toilet paper in the bowl that you don't even know if it's going to go down and in the back of your head you're already thinking of bringing out the plunger. But then you flush and the toilet gives 110% and somehow manges to keep everything down with a last second gasp.

A tear rolled down my eye :)
 
I remember as a teen one time struggling with what must have been the king of all shits. Seriously, felt like 20 minutes of pushing an anaconda out my ass. I looked down to see my adversary and it was gone. No evidence of its existence, no need to wipe, bowl was completely clean.
 
I've always been partial to the "snake charmer" where you drop an especially long log, and it falls into the drain and stands straight up, staring right back at you.
 
I usually ghost poop (My dad calls them "Angels") about four times a year. Might have something to do with my many arse hairs reaching out and clinging to (Or "combing") as much faeces from the turgid torpedo as possible. It would appear that my bum is Slender Man :(

Also, as a care assistant, let me introduce you to the actual chart I use every day in my work.

Presenting -

epaOu.png
 
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