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Hemorrhoids are the worst thing ever.

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Had one. Sneezed in the middle of class, popped it...worst pain ever for weeks.

Now, high fiber + lots of water + TUCKS pads. I highly reccommend using them.
 
I have suffered with them on or off for the past 2-3 years.

Don't know what caused it for me since I work out quite a bit and a result watch my diet pretty much all the time.

My diet was already high fiber and higher protein. Drank tons and tons of water. Haven't had soda in over 10 years. Still don't know what triggered it other than maybe excessive working out.

Went to a specialist but they thought it was an anal fissure only. Gave me some prescription ointment which helped ease the pain but didn't help get rid of the problem.

After tons of experimenting and research here are the things that worked for me:

  • Witch Hazel pills and cream from Hemclear.com
  • Witch Hazel extract to "clean up" after a bowel movement. Helps ease the pain and cools the muscle around the area: http://www.thayers.com/store/?main_page=index&cPath=3
  • Increase fiber in take. But don't force or strain. Only go when you have to go. Don't sit on the toilet for prolonged periods as it only hurts the situation
  • Look into this stepping stool type device they have to put in front of you to rest your feet while on the toilet so that when you are sitting it makes you body sit in a squatting position. squatting > toilet seat so this helps bend your body into that position
  • If none of the above works, which it might not if you have something more severe go to a doctor. I did and he prescribed proctocol or whatever its called which is designed for this very thing. I used it and cleared everything up. Recentel it flared up again and I put it out again using the same medicine. I have told myself if it happens again I might opt for Surgery

Found the stool I was talking about:

http://www.squattypotty.com/Default.asp?gclid=CMTYxJaXoLUCFYLd4AodHy8ARQ
 
Pretty sure I have one. It flares up every now and then. I think it's popped a couple times. Each time made me nervous, since that's a pretty bacteria rampant area. It's been a while since it's been back though. Knock on wood.
 
Ill admit I'm tempted to slide an icecream sandwich between my cheeks (still in the wrapper) but its my girlfriends Icecream sandwich and I'm sure she's going to ask me why it's all melted funny squashed.

Pain has gone a bit now... Well until I farted. Bad idea!

Off the the chemist to see what they have in stock.

I had a colostomy bag after an operation once. I'd consider that as a viable option now.
 
vas_a_morir said:
Ignore this idiot. You gotta go to a doctor's office and have a professional taste it for you.
Click to expand...

This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever read on NeoGAF. Obviously, there is no need to seek a medical professional until your entire family poops into a big gulp and everyone of course takes turns sipping on it until a consensus is reached.
 
When I was a kid I was a big fan of the Yankees and the Manager Billy Martin was a well known miserable cuss, even to my 10 year old self. Turns out he suffered from hemerroids. Poor bastard.

I hope you find some relief op
 
My doc game me Proctofoam. Prescription stuff. It usually works great but right now.. hrm. Not so great. Time to get some senna capsules.
 
Jet Jaguar said:
Friend had them, because his shit became too hard and caused a fissure.

He would bleed slightly every time he took a shit. (And when walking he would get anal leakage).

He eventually cured it because at a family birthday, he was forced to drink cheap Tesco Champagne mixed with a chestnut flavoured syrup all day. This gave him diarrhea for the following week and as his shit became so soft (basically liquid), his fissure was able to heal.

I don't advocate the cheap Tesco Champagne + Chestnut syrup, BUT he did tell me if I ever got an anal fissure, I should go for that combo.
Click to expand...

Fissures are completely different, diarrhea actually makes hemorroids get worst.

I don't mind the jokes though
because statistically 50% get one, so at least half of the jokers will get to know them :p
 
I got a small "hemi" right now.

Got it after loading 5 cords of firewood (in 6 foot lengths) into my pickup here in Canada. Too much bearing down pressure I guess. Only hurts right after I dump and if I intentionally pucker my asshole. Usually goes away by itself after a week or so if I take it easy. They really do suck, but I only get one once a year or so.
 
Naw, pylondial cysts are the worst thing ever as far as that region of the body is concerned.
 
Don't think I've ever had one but constipation, even for like a day or two is like a living hell for me. I used to think that my parents keeping Ducolax, Kaeopectate and other medicine around the house was funny until I was constipated for like three days. The Dulcolax was a godsend to have and by the fourth day, I was able to get the ball rolling.

Been eating a hell of a lot more fiber since then, though I've already stuck to a mostly high fiber/high protein diet for the most part prior to this.
 
I had a bad one once. Very, VERY, uncomfortable. I had mine removed by a doctor. Felt so good....until the anesthesia wore off an hour or so later while I was sitting at work. That pain was not as bad as the pain and discomfort of the roid though.
 
I had a brief bout with them, but thankfully the two I had went away after about a week. Unfortunately, I have a chronic fissure, which is a whole other little hell but prevention is similar for both plagues.

Here's what works for me:

Go buy some Miralax or a generic. Start with half a cap a day instead of the full dose; if you find you need softer stool afterward, up the dosage a little but I wouldn't recommend exceeding the full dosage unless you want diarrhea. From my understanding, unlike other laxatives, Miralax isn't habit forming due to the way it works (don't hold me to this though). I've been using it for a few months now after having no success with regular stool softeners like dulcolax.

Avoid dairy, white bread, white rice, large amounts of pasta, large amounts of meat.

Eat more whole wheat, oats, brown rice, beans, veggies, fruits (any fruit that start with a "P" will soften stool -- pears & peaches are especially good. Apples and bananas may bind you up actually, depends on ripeness and the individual), try switching to olive oil, lastly drink lots of water and never allow yourself to get dehydrated.

Make sure every time you eat, you are getting some sort of fiber. If you don't currently get much fiber, probably not a good idea to go whole hog right away, slowly increase it and see how you do.

Also, go see a doctor!
 
Ifrit said:
Word of caution, whatever you do, DO NOT SEARCH FOR HEMORROID ON WIKIPEDIA
Click to expand...

The grapes of wrath.



...

Anyway, I've had a couple hemorrhoids and it fucking sucks. The first time I saw a small amount bright red blood in the toilet after pooping I freaked the fuck out.

Thank God this only seems to happen once every couple of years, I suppose as I get older it will happen more often...
 
I think most of you confuse anal thrombosis with hemorrhoids.

I had an anal abscess once btw and a fistula afterwards as a result. That was way worse and needed surgical treatment. Afterwards i had a big open wound on my asshole for a couple weeks. Fun times!
 
Ifrit said:
Word of caution, whatever you do, DO NOT SEARCH FOR HEMORROID ON WIKIPEDIA
Click to expand...

I did this. Best of luck Router, I hope everything goes alright for you.

I need to start getting more exercise... don't need one of these damn things.
 
Sub_Level said:
Naw, pylondial cysts are the worst thing ever as far as that region of the body is concerned.
Click to expand...

I had one of those once, a BAD one. Let it go too long and it got nasty. Was off work an entire month after surgery to let it heal since it had to heal from the inside out.
 
Dave_6 said:
I had one of those once, a BAD one. Let it go too long and it got nasty. Was off work an entire month after surgery to let it heal since it had to heal from the inside out.
Click to expand...

Dude before the surgery they cut my cyst open. Slow deliberate cuts. Bunch of puss and blood was all over the table I was being operated on, and the smell was horrific. For the surgery itself I had to apply gauze for months afterwards.

I did get a copious amount of hydro though lol...they must've prescribed me with 20+ highs....
 
I've never had a hemorrhoidal problem but I've had the occasional fissure or something causing bloody stool. If that doesn't scare you into changing your diet, nothing will. I eat lots of oatmeal now and other fruits.
 
Ive had some crazy shit going on down below the last couple of weeks (think I might have a fissure). And my left testicle has been throbbing in pain for two days now. Thank fuck Ive got a doctors appointment tomorrow morning.
 
Got any rubber bands handy op ?
From wikipedia:

Rubber band ligation is an outpatient treatment for second-degree internal hemorrhoids.

In this procedure, a small band is applied to the base of the hemorrhoid, stopping the blood supply to the hemorrhoidal mass. The hemorrhoid will then shrivel and die within 2 to 7 days. The shriveled hemorrhoid and band will fall off during normal bowel movements.

Rubber band ligation is a popular procedure, as it involves less pain than surgical treatments of hemorrhoids, as well as a shorter recovery period. Its success rate is between 60 and 80%.
 
Yes, got my first one this summer. Internal, had to use prescription cream (in there) and change some habits:

-drink more water, i got used to barely drink and my logs were like concrete.
-less sitting, which was hard as i work with computers.
-more fiber, both supplement and fruits. Kiwi is the best one for that.
-drink less coffee.
-spicy and fatty foods are a no-no.
-Stress messed up my stomach which messed up my intestines. Always a good idea to take time for yourself so you can chill.
-Alcohol affects the blood vessels in a really bad way for hemis. Avoid alcoholic drinks at all costs.

Having to finish a programming project knowing that my hemi was getting worse from so much time sitting down was horrible.

Now I feel much better and drink beer, eat pizza, etc. But I avoid overdoing it.
 
For the posters mentioning fiber pills and mixes ... why not ... you know ... actually change to a healthy diet.
 
I've had external ones twice. Both went away twice within a week. Pain wasn't too bad either, more like a constant irritation/itch/burn. I've heard mixed information with regards to their cause. Could be pushing too hard. Could be diet. Could be wiping too much. Howard Stern used to talk about this. He showers if after three wipes he isn’t clean and swears he hasn't had one since. If you're lucky and they do recede, they will fill with scar tissue making them less likely to appear. If you’re not lucky, they don’t recede and you have to get them removed.

Raistlin said:
For the posters mentioning fiber pills and mixes ... why not ... you know ... actually change to a healthy diet.
Click to expand...

This is a recomendation. I started taking this, which can be found at trader joes:

trader-joes-psyllium-fiber-husk-digestive-supplement-244x300.jpg
 
Raistlin said:
For the posters mentioning fiber pills and mixes ... why not ... you know ... actually change to a healthy diet.
Click to expand...

Changing to a healthy diet is great. I am doing a lot better than I was before, but I still take fiber as a precaution. Also, it is nice that things run smoothly down there, fiber pills or not. I just know I never want to have to go through that again, so whatever keeps me regular, I am all for it.
 
You should get a colonoscopy at your age anyway to screen for colon cancer. Your doc will take care of the hemorrhoids then.
 
I blast my asshole with a Water Pik shower massage every AM. Keeps things squeaky clean, I never have issues, and I'm pushing 40 myself.
 
Holy shit this thread. I thought I had some bad roids before but some of this shit is the stuff of nightmares.

POPPING ONE IN CLASS!?!?! DaFUK!?

I promise to never complain about a slightly itchy asshole ever again. I'll just apply some cream and be glad it's nothing like you people have endured.
 
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