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[.GqueB.]

You just need to show her that you'll be there for her. You won't judge, blame or critcize her.

I don't have problems with raising your child with knowledge like "don't talk to strangers" but I think you need to be able to show that they can always come to you for anything.

The biggest focus on preventing rape should be education, not victim blaming.

I'll also add that you need to foster that relationship from the beginning. Make it a very open and honest household because just saying "you can come to me with anything" is useless without the environment to back it up.

My mom was very closed off when I was growing up but she would always give me this advice:

Don't leave your drink alone at the bar when you go to the bathroom. Someone can slip something into your drink then take you somewhere and bull you in the butt

As silly as that advice was I did heed it but at the same time, if something like that happened, I wouldn't feel all that comfortable talking to her about it because we never actually established that connection. To this day, I feel awkward even hugging her. Develop that relationship at a young age so she feels comfortable coming to you in the first place. That's my biggest goal when

Spoiler

if

I have children.

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

Are you really implying that teaching someone to defend themselves is setting someone else up to be victimized? I hope that's not what you're actually saying.

What else could you be implying? One person may be able to get away, but the conclusion of your logic is that everyone would need to have defense skills stronger than any rapist in order for this problem to stop.

 

[User 100115]

I'll say it here and now, because this is the easiest way to.

If Timedog wanted to rape me, he'd have no problem what so ever. He's 6'6 240, I'm 5'4 103 lbs. When you have this much disparity in size and he's your boyfriend, friend, coworker, you won't be able to do jack shit. And that's something I always have to contend with. I won't be able to fight my assailant off, I could give it a good effort but please. Not to mention my weapon or whatever isn't going to be in reach if I trust the person anyway.

Yep.

Our weapons are more likely to be used against us.

And women are in general smaller and less muscular than men. We have to deal with that reality all the time.

 

[Shinta]

What else could you be implying? One person may be able to get away, but the conclusion of your logic is that everyone would need to have defense skills stronger than any rapist in order for this problem to stop.

I didn't say it's the literal cure to all of society's problems.

They don't have to have defense skills stronger than ANY rapist, just the one that happens to attack them.

How can anyone really argue against being able to defend yourself? It's a good thing. I thought we're arguing gender equality here. Have you guys ever watched a female MMA fight before?

 

[Wazzy]

I'll also add that you need to foster that relationship from the beginning. Make it a very open and honest household because just saying "you can come to me with anything" is useless without the environment to back it up.

My mom was very closed off when I was growing up but she would always give me this advice:

Don't leave your drink alone at the bar when you go to the bathroom. Someone can slip something into your drink then take you somewhere and bull you in the butt

As silly as that advice was I did heed it but at the same time, if something like that happened, I wouldn't feel all that comfortable talking to her about it because we never actually established that connection. To this day, I feel awkward even hugging her. Develop that relationship at a young age so she feels comfortable coming to you in the first place. That's my biggest goal when

Spoiler

if

I have children.

I completely agree.

 

[.GqueB.]

Again, giving advice on a personal level with someone you love is great. Rock out. You should probably also let your loved one know that you're available if something does happen and it's not their fault, despite the advice you gave them. That the ultimate act is on the rapist involved and you'll always love and support them. That you'll back them emotionally and legally with everything you have. Risk mitigation on a personal level is only one part of the discussion, open support is the other. Because only talking about risk mitigation makes people think it's their fault if they get assaulted. And that leads victims to not report rapes.

But when you step out into the world and the larger discussion and say these things, you are not being useful or helpful. Simple as that.

Maybe I'm misunderstanding but I thought we were talking about giving this advice on a personal level.

 

[Devolution]

I didn't say it's the literal cure to all of society's problems.

They don't have to have defense skills stronger than ANY rapist, just the one that happens to attack them.

How can anyone really argue against being able to defend yourself? It's a good thing. I thought we're arguing gender equality here. Have you guys ever watched a female MMA fight before?

The issue isn't arguing over defending yourself, it's putting forth no solution, just an answer to an effect rather than a cause.

 

[Shinta]

The issue isn't arguing over defending yourself, it's putting forth no solution, just an answer to an effect rather than a cause.

The effect is pretty damn important though if you can stop it from happening to someone you care about.

In the meantime, the cause part will be worked on over a much longer period of time. And as some people have said, it'll never be 100% gone. Knowing how to at least stop the effect some of the time, in some situations is something that will always be useful, no matter the time we live in.

 

[APF]

I don't know. With the way people are talking, it sounds like you should tell her that at some point she's going to be raped and there isn't much she can do about it but she'll cross that bridge when she get's there.

The problem is, you're asking for practical solutions to a situation for which practical solutions do not necessarily apply. How does one, for example, advise their daughter in practical methods to prevent a boyfriend from hitting her? Should you advise her to not speak her mind? Should you advise her to not "nag" her boyfriends? Should you tell her the best method to prepare sandwiches? The reality is that these "practical" solutions are red herrings perpetuating the idea that other people's bad actions towards her are in fact her fault.

 

[Devolution]

The effect is pretty damn important though if you can stop it from happening to someone you care about.

In the meantime, the cause part will be worked on over a much longer period of time.

I think you're putting a lot of faith in self-defense which I already noted is not going to help most women given the circumstances of most rapes. And yes women could go get them, I'm told it helps in certain situations but then she'd have to gauge when and where it could save her. Again, the responsibility would fall on her.

 

[Takuan]

I didn't say it's the literal cure to all of society's problems.

They don't have to have defense skills stronger than ANY rapist, just the one that happens to attack them.

How can anyone really argue against being able to defend yourself? It's a good thing. I thought we're arguing gender equality here. Have you guys ever watched a female MMA fight before?

I think the main point he's trying to make is that practicing "common-sense" precautions ultimately does nothing to actually address the problem that rapists exist, and if we're to understand why rape is a thing make a real effort toward minimizing rape we need to look at the rapist, first and foremost.

 

[Kano on the Phone]

I think you're putting a lot of faith in self-defense which I already noted is not going to help most women given the circumstances of most rapes. And yes women could go get them, I'm told it helps in certain situations but then she'd have to gauge when and where it could save her. Again, the responsibility would fall on her.

Nonsense. If you were an MMA fighter, you'd never be raped, because every rape is a man attempting to overpower you with only his fists. It's like you aren't even reading this thread. If only we'd known all this sooner...

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

I didn't say it's the literal cure to all of society's problems.

They don't have to have defense skills stronger than ANY rapist, just the one that happens to attack them.

How can anyone really argue against being able to defend yourself? It's a good thing. I thought we're arguing gender equality here. Have you guys ever watched a female MMA fight before?

Rape is a bigger problem in some countries than it is in others, and it's not because the women in some countries know how to beat up a dude.

 

[Shinta]

I think you're putting a lot of faith in self-defense which I already noted is not going to help most women given the circumstances of most rapes.

Not every rapist is 6 ft 6 inches, 240 lbs. And if you get a shot in the eyes and can at least free yourself enough to get away or call attention to what's happening, it can help. At the very least, it would probably leave some wounds on them which you can use as evidence in a conviction.

Will it work every time? No. Can it be dangerous sometimes if you're massively overmatched or outnumbered? Of course, and that's the situation in any fight ever.

Does that mean no one should ever learn to defend themselves ever?

 

[Zornack]

The problem is, you're asking for practical solutions to a situation for which practical solutions do not necessarily apply. How does one, for example, advise their daughter in practical methods to prevent a boyfriend from hitting her? Should you advise her to not speak her mind? Should you advise her to not "nag" her boyfriends? Should you tell her the best method to prepare sandwiches? The reality is that these "practical" solutions are red herrings perpetuating the idea that other people's bad actions towards her are in fact her fault.

There are some things in life you can't prevent.

There are some things in life you can prevent.

Just because there is overlap doesn't mean you should ignore what you can prevent.

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

Does that mean no one should ever learn to defend themselves ever?

Clearly.

 

[MHWilliams]

Maybe I'm misunderstanding but I thought we were talking about giving this advice on a personal level.

The literal beginning of the thread was having the discussion on a radio show, as I just posted. For many of the women in your life, they already know about risk mitigation because they've lived with it drilled into their heads their entire lives. You're saying nothing of value. And talking about how they can mitigate the risk of sexual assault is only once small silver of the overall discussion you should be having.

But once you participate in a larger discussion about rape and you say "women should .... to prevent being raped" you're wasting time and effort. Common sense knowledge doesn't really prevent rapists.

 

[Orayn]

Not every rapist is 6 ft 6 inches, 240 lbs. And if you get a shot in the eyes and can at least free yourself enough to get away or call attention to what's happening, it can help. At the very least, it would probably leave some wounds on them which you can use as evidence in a conviction.

Will it work every time? No. Can it be dangerous sometimes if you're massively overmatched or outnumbered? Of course, and that's the situation in any fight ever.

Does that mean no one should ever learn to defend themselves ever?

Stop this straw man bullshit, nobody said that. Devolution said it wasn't an adequate solution because it's looking at the problem the wrong way.

 

[.GqueB.]

The literal beginning of the thread was having the discussion on a radio show, as I just posted. For many of the women in your life, they already know about risk mitigation because they've lived with it drilled into their heads their entire lives. You're saying nothing of value. And talking about how they can prevent sexual assault is only once small silver of the overall discussion you should be having.

But once you participate in a larger discussion about rape and you say "women should .... to prevent being raped" you're wasting time and effort. Common sense knowledge doesn't really prevent rapists.

Gotcha.

 

[Devolution]

Not every rapist is 6 ft 6 inches, 240 lbs. And if you get a shot in the eyes and can at least free yourself enough to get away or call attention to what's happening, it can help. At the very least, it would probably leave some wounds on them which you can use as evidence in a conviction.

Will it work every time? No. Can it be dangerous sometimes if you're massively overmatched or outnumbered? Of course, and that's the situation in any fight ever.

Does that mean no one should ever learn to defend themselves ever?

Your answer for more women to take self-defense isn't actually tackling the problem. It's a "hey we failed you so protect yourselves" bandaid for a huge gaping wound.

 

[Takuan]

Not every rapist is 6 ft 6 inches, 240 lbs. And if you get a shot in the eyes and can at least free yourself enough to get away or call attention to what's happening, it can help. At the very least, it would probably leave some wounds on them which you can use as evidence in a conviction.

Will it work every time? No. Can it be dangerous sometimes if you're massively overmatched or outnumbered? Of course, and that's the situation in any fight ever.

Does that mean no one should ever learn to defend themselves ever?

Self-defense works best when you're expecting to defend yourself. Problem with rape is that it often happens when the victim has his/her guard down.

 

[Wazzy]

Not every rapist is 6 ft 6 inches, 240 lbs. And if you get a shot in the eyes and can at least free yourself enough to get away or call attention to what's happening, it can help. At the very least, it would probably leave some wounds on them which you can use as evidence in a conviction.

Will it work every time? No. Can it be dangerous sometimes if you're massively overmatched or outnumbered? Of course, and that's the situation in any fight ever.

Does that mean no one should ever learn to defend themselves ever?

I would say most rapists are going to be bigger. It's one of the best way for them to have control over you.

The biggest problem is that most women know some form of defense. It's the fact of how useful it's actually going to be when put in the situation?

What if you go over to a friends house who you're perfectly comfortable around and they decide to rape you? What preperation will ever help with something like that?

 

[Shinta]

Stop this straw man bullshit, nobody said that. Devolution said it wasn't an adequate solution because it's looking at the problem the wrong way.

Who said it's a solution though? I didn't. I said it's not 100% effective.

It's still a good thing to know. There's zero reason to argue against that simple statement, because it's the truth.

 

[Kano on the Phone]

Who said it's a solution though? I didn't. I said it's not 100% effective.

It's still a good thing to know. There's zero reason to argue against that simple statement, because it's the truth.

Calculus is a good thing to know too. So what?

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

Who said it's a solution though? I didn't. I said it's not 100% effective.

It's still a good thing to know. There's zero reason to argue against that simple statement, because it's the truth.

Your need for everyone to validate your silly ideas is not as important as the issue itself. It's obvious what you actually care more about.

 

[Shinta]

I don't need anyone to validate common sense.

You guys can have the thread, I'm done with it.

 

[APF]

There are some things in life you can't prevent.

There are some things in life you can prevent.

Just because there is overlap doesn't mean you should ignore what you can prevent.

So you would advise your daughter not to talk back to her boyfriend, lest he hit her in response.

 

[Wazzy]

I don't need anyone to validate common sense.

You guys can have the thread, I'm done with it.

No, basically you don't have a proper answer therefore you're backing out.

 

[.GqueB.]

I don't need anyone to validate common sense.

You guys can have the thread, I'm done with it.

Without you there is no thread.

 

[Shinta]

No, basically you don't have a proper answer therefore you're backing out.

Proper answer to what? Snarky attempts to equate Calculus with MMA?

I've been in this thread for hours, and I need to do something else with my day.

Call me "chicken" and bawk bawk if you want. I'm just tired of wasting my time here.

 

[Jorok Goldblade]

I was listening this morning on the radio where they discussed this and it is so bizarre, I can't find anywhere else where you blame the victim in this sort of way in anything.

I seem to recall a certain cable newsman blaming a shooting death on a hoodie...

 

[Kano on the Phone]

Proper answer to what? Snarky attempts to equate Calculus with MMA?

I've been in this thread for hours, and I need to do something else with my day.

Call me "chicken" and bawk bawk if you want. I'm just tired of wasting my time here.

I really actually hope you're just a struggling MMA teacher and this thread was your hope to turn business around.

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

I don't need anyone to validate common sense.

You guys can have the thread, I'm done with it.

I'd think when you noticed almost every single person telling you you're wrong and posting really good reasons for why you're wrong, you'd realize what you're saying isn't common sense, but is instead a half-assed solution that has no relevance or impact on the actual problem.

You care more about someone eventually cracking and telling you you're right through an extended semantic argument than you care about rape problems.

 

[Devolution]

I don't need anyone to validate common sense.

You guys can have the thread, I'm done with it.

Common sense is realizing you're just placating your own ego with non-solutions that don't even skim the surface of the problem and instead address an effect. Everyone could take more self-defense classes but those also involve time, travel and money that plenty of women in dire socio-economic strata don't have. If you took the time to think about this more honestly, you might realize that. Once again, you're putting the onus on women to save themselves from a problem made manifest by society and their insipid instruction that "women help themselves." And your tireless efforts so far are "women can help themselves sometimes", great, thanks.

 

[Wazzy]

Proper answer to what? Snarky attempts to equate Calculus with MMA?

I've been in this thread for hours, and I need to do something else with my day.

Call me "chicken" and bawk bawk if you want. I'm just tired of wasting my time here.

So because a couple posters have been snarky suddenly that means you need to ignore all the legitimate comments by other posters?

If you're going to argue a point, you need to back it up. Leaving the thread is only proving that your argument is weak and has no legs to stand on.

 

[Zornack]

So you would advise your daughter not to talk back to her boyfriend, lest he hit her in response.

No, of course not, because that's not a reasonable prevention technique. Her life would be much more hindered by being taught not to speak her mind and to not be herself compared to the the risk that her boyfriend is a psychopath who hits her when she talks back.

If I never want to die in a car I would never get into a car, but that's not reasonable so instead I wear a seatbelt.

What if you go over to a friends house who you're perfectly comfortable around and they decide to rape you? What preperation will ever help with something like that?

No, and no one is saying it will. There are scenarios where there is literally nothing the victim could do to escape.

But there are also situations where the victim could escape. If I have a daughter and if teaching her a self defense technique increases her chance of not getting raped in that specific scenario by even a tenth of a percent then I will try to get her interested in self defense.

 

[Zen_Arcade]

Stop this straw man bullshit, nobody said that. Devolution said it wasn't an adequate solution because it's looking at the problem the wrong way.

Unless I missed it, he never said it was a solution. Merely something to aid in protecting themselves. Saying people should know how to protect themselves is in no way blaming them if something bad happens to them. The only way that would apply is if after the person got raped/beaten you say something like "Well you should have known how to defend yourself from this, you had all that training." THAT would be blaming them. It's saying that the world is cruel and unpredictable and it doesn't hurt to know how to protect yourself. Yes, we would all love to live in a world where we don't have to worry about how to protect ourselves because no one makes any threats, but we are not at that point in history yet, and should not pretend that we are.

If I ever have a kid, boy or girl, they will damn well know how to defend themselves against violence.

 

[.GqueB.]

No, basically you don't have a proper answer therefore you're backing out.

I see what he's getting at though.

I mean speaking realistically here, any solution we come up with for rape that's preventative will take... I don't know... forever. It certainly won't happen any time soon because it's such a complicated problem. But saying that people shouldn't try to defend themselves in the mean time because it's not a real solution (and it isn't) is a bit odd don't you think?

 

[Takuan]

I don't need anyone to validate common sense.

You guys can have the thread, I'm done with it.

I don't blame you. I feel you lost steam with the self-defense argument, but generally, I understood what you were getting at.

 

[grumble]

The idea is that if a woman is dressing in a sexually provocative way then it's implied that she is interested in sexual activity. If a guy misinterprets that or sees it as a green light to be more aggressive, then she is complicit in the outcome to some degree.

Obviously bullshit. The victim is not to blame. What a lot of posters here seem to not get is that a lot of times rape isn't violent, like some guy is following a girl home in the bushes. Some of the time the guy has no idea he coerced a girl into having sex. There is a line between strongly encouraging someone to have sex and forcing them to. Rape is confusing and whenever there's a grey line as to the legitimacy of the rape women will get penalized for wearing promiscuous clothing.

Even when tere is no grey line and it's clear people just don't get why it happened. Instead of saying that the perp is a monster they try to explain it away as a misstep. It's easier on the psyche. No one is ever asking to be raped.

 

[xBladeM6x]

@OP's question: It's typically brought up when using risk assessment. Example, I shouldn't exactly walk into a tiger den with a bunch of sausages just freshly cooked around my neck. It's likely I'm going to be mauled. Did I deserve it? Absolutely not. But risk assessment would tell you that maximized my risk of being mauled by doing so. Same with predator type rapists and women using risk assessment to do what's possible to avoid it.

 

[Devolution]

@OP's question: It's typically brought up when using risk assessment. Example, I shouldn't exactly walk into a tiger den with a bunch of sausages just freshly cooked around my neck. It's likely I'm going to be mauled. Did I deserve it? Absolutely not. But risk assessment would tell you that maximized my risk of being mauled by doing so. Same with predator type rapists and women using risk assessment to do what's possible to avoid it.

Clothing or lack thereof has not been established as rape bait.

 

[Marty Chinn]

You tell her once or remind her of what she can do, but you also tell her to not tolerate sexism, not to condone or encourage pro-rape-culture stuff, and importantly, teach that to your sons, teach that to your friends, make sure they raise their sons and daughters right so consent and respect between genders is important, discourage others around you from treating rape as a thing that happens because women didn't xyz. It's a societal issue so it has to be approached from all fronts.

So it's just not about how you treat your daughter, but also tell and model to your wife and family and friends and coworkers your expectations of them as well. Think about it on a kind of level as how you would stamp out racism. You don't just tell your daughter what ways to best act and speak and dress to minimize people being huge racist jerks to her. You need to also make sure everyone around your family treats the issue properly and treats everyone with respect, you ask for and support changes to policies and lessons/programs that encourage and promote a healthy attitude, you ALSO model the behavior you want to see happening. Otherwise you risk just raising children in a poison environment no matter how well you individually instruct them.

And I know that's even harder to do and I am lazy too, but we all gotta try and chip in if we want to live in a better world (and I guess for the kids lol).

This is great in principle, and I completely agree with it, but to some degree it doesn't help with what I'm asking. Telling her and my family these principles won't change the fact that I likely didn't tell the guy who might rape her. Doing this won't eliminate rape overnight or in the near future. It'll certainly help, even if to a small degree, but rape isn't something that is going to go away fast and I'm looking for advice on how to address it with my daughter if I even address it at all. If the theory is you do more damage than good by telling her stuff, then fine, I won't, but I'd at least like to know the things I can do to at least reduce the probability.

You can tell her many things if you want to mitigate the risk. She's your daughter. Many of those things have already been stated. But also be cognizant of the fact that many of those may not do a damn bit of good if someone decides to assault your daughter or another family member. Because the reality is it can happen anywhere and come from people you and her may trust. It's a scary reality, but there you go.

Risk mitigation is a personal discussion. that's something that happens between individuals. When the conversation begins to take on broader, wider implications, then risk mitigation is a useless talking point.

See this is my problem where we say we can't talk about it but then how am I supposed to learn when it's something that we're not supposed to talk about unless it's personal? I'm a father of a two year old girl and never had to deal with the issue the way that she will so there are things in life that I'm not as well versed that will now be an issue when it comes to her. Having a discussion to me at least gets information out there so that people can understand what is good advice and what is bad advice. If we simply leave it to, that's up to you, it's personal, I can go under the misguided sense of don't dress a certain way which is being looked down upon in this thread as something you should say. Letting people know it's misguided, but these are better tips while at the same time emphasizing that nothing is full proof and in the end nothing is still your fault seems like a better. That to me seems like a better idea than saying, we don't talk about it and that's between you and your family.

In reality, you should absolutely teach her to be very cautious of her surroundings, to not go to unfamiliar places by herself, to not lose control at parties or when experimenting with drugs and alcohol because the consequences can be much more severe than when teenage boys do it, to surround herself with reliable friends.

You could also enroll her in a self-defense class at a very young age and encourage her to stick with it, for good. Encouraging physical fitness definitely helps. You might also consider getting her a tazer or some other kind of weapon, and actually training her to use it.

As far as rape from people that she knows, the advice of not being alone is good advice.

I would teach all aspects of how to minimize assault along with other things you teach like how to minimize exposure to STDs, or birth control, or anything else. It's your job to teach her.

Of course, none of this is 100% fool proof, and its not her fault if she's ever attacked.

Ya, I understand nothing is 100% fool proof, but I feel like I can't just say nothing. It's unintuitive to just let it slide because we need to focus on the other end. Thanks for the advice.

You just need to show her that you'll be there for her. You won't judge, blame or critcize her.

I don't have problems with raising your child with knowledge like "don't talk to strangers" but I think you need to be able to show that they can always come to you for anything.

The biggest focus on preventing rape should be education, not victim blaming.

I'm not trying to victim blame. Not one bit. But let's be realistic here, we may be able to reduce, or maybe not the number of instances of rape, but we will never be able to eliminate it. Have we ever in the history of our species eliminated a basic crime? We can try to understand and educate all we want, but it's still going to happen so I have to think that giving some advice to help reduce the odds in the near term while striving for things to be better in the long term is a better way to go. Thanks for the advice too.

 

[JesseEwiak]

@OP's question: It's typically brought up when using risk assessment. Example, I shouldn't exactly walk into a tiger den with a bunch of sausages just freshly cooked around my neck. It's likely I'm going to be mauled. Did I deserve it? Absolutely not. But risk assessment would tell you that maximized my risk of being mauled by doing so. Same with predator type rapists and women using risk assessment to do what's possible to avoid it.

The difference is, not having a bunch of sausages around your neck actually lowers your risk. There's no evidence that pushing women not too walk in dark places or not wear skimpy clothing has more an effect on the rape rate than say, creating a society where rape is seen as a bad thing.

 

[Wazzy]

I see what he's getting at though.

I mean speaking realistically here, any solution we come up with for rape that's preventative will take... I don't know... forever. It certainly won't happen any time soon because it's such a complicated problem. But saying that people shouldn't try to defend themselves in the mean time because it's not a real solution (and it isn't) is a bit odd don't you think?

I understand why people think it's a solution. The problem is we've been doing defense lessons for years to prevent rape and yet it still happens frequently and has solved nothing.

We're so focused on what women can do to prevent rape rather than educating people on what constitutes rape and information on how it can happen to anyone in any location.

No, of course not, and no one is saying it will. There are scenarios where there is literally nothing the victim could do to escape.

But there are also situations where the victim could escape. If I have a daughter and if teaching her a self defense technique increases her chance of not getting raped in that specific scenario by even a tenth of a percent then I will try to get her interested in self defense.

But the problem is, most scenario's are the one I'm describing.

 

[ABC]

What if you go over to a friends house who you're perfectly comfortable around and they decide to rape you?

Just because you are surprised by an attack doesn't mean you can't successfully fight back. Rape is not a one hit knife kill to the back, you CAN fight back, maybe it will work, maybe not. Doing nothing will definitely not help you to get out of the situation.

I sleep better knowing that my sister can defend herself, I can tell you that.

 

[Devolution]

The difference is, not having a bunch of sausages around your neck actually lowers your risk. There's no evidence that pushing women not too walk in dark places or not wear skimpy clothing has more an effect on the rape rate than say, creating a society where rape is seen as a bad thing.

The way to reduce rape is feminism. But I know how so many people think we're past that or it's garbage.

 

[JesseEwiak]

The way to reduce rape is feminism. But I know how so many people think we're past that or it's garbage.

I was trying to say feminism without saying feminism because as we all know, feminism is full of crazy woman who want to destroy male's self esteem.

 

[APF]

No, of course not, because that's not a reasonable prevention technique. Her life would be much more hindered by being taught not to speak her mind and to not be herself compared to the the risk that her boyfriend is a psychopath who hits her when she talks back.

Or more importantly, there is no real connection between "talking back" and whether or not your boyfriend is abusive.

 

[Wazzy]

Just because you are surprised by an attack doesn't mean you can't successfully fight back. Rape is not a one hit knife kill to the back, you CAN fight back, maybe it will work, maybe not. Doing nothing will definitely not help you to get out of the situation.

I sleep better knowing that my sister can defend herself, I can tell you that.

You're missing the point.

Many people look at rape as a stranger going after you in the middle of the night and that with preparation you can prevent being raped. The problem is, most scenario's do no involve this setting.

Another problem is the fact we're focusing on what to teach women to prevent rape when in most cases it happens unexpectedly. If someone more powerful than you has you pinned, you're very unlikely to get out.

We need to focus on educating people.