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How did you get your shit together?

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I've always had it together academically, as long as I can remember. My life kind of fell into place as well -- great in school, married a month before graduation from college, immediately started a decent job (that I'm still in 22 years later), house, travel, and decent (relatively) kids.

Two areas where I didn't was my weight and laziness in my non-parenting / non-working hours.

Weight I had an epiphany moment on January 1, 2013. Was in the shower just thinking about the year ahead and how I felt tired all the time, tingly extremities, etc. I was 41 and worried about diabetes. Immediately resolved to get that sorted pretty much cold turkey. Went from 336 to 192 in the two following years (though now I've settled into a pretty comfortable 210ish range, would like to get that just under 200 again). So in that case it was how I felt and fear of future health. I so regret not getting that under control 10 years ago. I was so very tired all the time, I know I could've been a much more engaged father. =/

The other is my non-parenting / non-working hour laziness. My house has several big projects I've been putting off (due to not wanting to spend money and being lazy). I also have a ton of clutter I really need to get rid of / sell but... ugh... so much work. Lots of old Warhammer minis (unpainted, even), old RPG books, old video games, etc. I also regret not doing more stuff with my kids on the weekends -- and they've definitely picked up the "lazy weekends" pattern themselves.

With the kids at 16 and nearly 19yo I'll be having even more free time. I've GOT to channel my energy into decluttering, fixing the house, and prepping for empty nest and eventually a move to where my wife and I would like to retire. Every weekend I resolve will be the weekend I do that but every Monday morning I'm left wondering what happened.

So hopefully I'll figure out the key to this soon. Does NeoGAF have a declutter thread? I need inspiration. =)

I know it's pretty minor stuff but that's the main thing I need to work on.
 
Mysterious said:
What was an instance or moment in your life when you thought you were doing things "right", but realized you weren't, and "got your shit together"?

What precisely did you do to "get it together"?
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Even though I had crawled my way up to a development job in the video game industry, I realized smoking and drinking every day was having a terrible effect on myself and was setting a terrible example for my little brother. I looked around myself and at myself and didn't like what I saw. Even though I had achieved my dream, I wasn't happy.

So I went back to school. I walked home 6 miles every day after a 1.5 hour bus ride. I starved, living on $1 of food a day, growing so weak I passed out and experienced out of body sensations. I slept on couches and on the ground for two years. Eventually my financial aid came through and with it I was a ble to focus on my education. I learned how to learn and learned how to navigate the educational system.

I returned to work for awhile, but eventually realized I hated the office space cubicle life and that I very likely would never achieve the perfect game design job I had hoped of. So I started working on a career change into medicine.

Now I'm here and though it was incredibly difficult, I have no regrets. My life is already happier and more fulfilling than my software career. I'm also a better person for the struggle.
 
Joe said:
snip
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Bit LTTP here but this is a Fantastic post. I applied a couple of these things to my life a couple months ago and you would be shocked at how well some of them work. These two points in particular:
Joe said:
[*]I started going to sleep earlier. I am most productive during the day and staying up after midnight is just a waste. Learn to prioritize your time and be as efficient as possible

[*]I stopped ranking and comparing things, people, and places. Stop separating and ranking, it is NOT a good place to be in. Stop thinking (even subconsciously) that you're better than people or that they are better than you.
Click to expand...

They're little things which you wouldn't normally expect to help but they do in a tremendous way. People LOVE to rank, compare and organize "people" in theirs heads, but you really need to let that all go to see people for their different values and strengths rather than categorizing them as "winners" and "losers". And of course that goes for yourself. And when I stopped staying up until 2 am every night because I had to just watch "one more episode" of X series on netflix, I'm pretty sure my happiness and motivations doubled because I didn't feel tired all the time and didn't have to rely on coffee to get me through the day.
 
Mysterious said:
What was an instance or moment in your life when you thought you were doing things "right", but realized you weren't, and "got your shit together"?

What precisely did you do to "get it together"?
Click to expand...

there's two times where i can point to my behavior and notice a big change

the first was in college, 3 months before graduation. i was pretty much just playing WoW non stop and other games occasionally, not doing much work because my shit was on par or better than a lot of other students. I got lucky enough to get an internship at a company and had an epiphany once I was there that my shit... was not good. like, at all. so if I wanted a chance to get a real job and actually not have wasted all my time in school, I would need to pump out some better work. I spent the next 3 months getting my work up to 'industry level' quality-ish and made better stuff in that time than anything I had done prior, by far. It basically lit a fire under my ass.


the second was last year or so, I think. I work... a lot. Too much. I pretty much didn't make time for much else. I realized I filled gaps in my time with facebook/twitter and used work as an excuse to not do much else. I moved recently and basically overhauled my schedule, forcing myself into a type of life I'm more interested in living. I deleted my twitter bookmark, I installed a facebook plugin that deletes my news feed, so even if I visit all I can see is if I got a message or not, then I leave instead of wasting more time there. I started taking piano lessons and an art class, started seeing a physical trainer. These each take time, but they were towards goals I was very interested in, and to be completely honest I don't regret doing any of it, even if it has hit my wallet a little. The best part? It hasn't noticeably effected my work output, so I'm getting roughly the same amount of stuff done but I'm much healthier, whereas before I would waste a lot of time browsing while 'working' and just essentially waste time.

so uh, I guess my point here is to be in charge of your life. if you have wants, needs, goals, go after them. Force yourself, make it a habit. Understand your needs and do your best to take care of them. Ask for help and advice of friends and family if you need be, and cut out destructive time wasting habits and/or friends if they are affecting your life in a negative way. go kick some ass.


Joe said:
...
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amazing post joe, everyone should read it.

also, someone also mentioned when you realize how time is the most valuable and rare asset you have. It's very true. I can hardly fathom being bored anymore, to be honest. It almost angers me when I hear my friends say how they're bored with nothing to do. I would slay some fuckin giblets for that extra time. There's too much to do!
 
I still have aspirations to quit my job, and basically live like a bum.

I love a girl more than I could have ever thought, and that made me keep my job, and have a life to share with someone.

Oh, and a dog
 
Was tired of being shy, overweight and lazy as fuck.

Forced myself to make an effort. Starting exercising, and talking to people. It was awful at first. Felt like Hell. But now, I'm rather extrovert, skinny (a bit of a chubby tummy, but far from 2 years ago) and I always want to move and do stuff, can't stand just doing nothing.

And I can't even remember the old me, even though it was less than two years ago. It feels like ages ago, almost like a bad dream.

Happy I did force myself to change. It was hard, but worth it, without a single doubt.
 
Everything has gotten to a point where I finally acknowledge that I am not ready for certain aspects of my life to be a certain way. I'm not as ready as I believed I was for the future I kept daydreaming about. For my own sanity I have finally prioritized making decisions to further my own growth as a human-being rather than focusing on the happiness of everyone around me. I'm taking care of what I need most right now and for me, that's a big step towards getting my shit together. I'm going to learn to love myself before anyone else because lately, I've been a fucking mess. So I haven't quite gotten my shit together but I'm definitely taking the steps necessary to do so now more than ever.
 
Taking constructive feedback
Having accountability
Realizing I am good at what I do
Realizing that no matter shitty your day is, there's someone else having an even shittier one
Stopped giving a shit about what people thought about me
The meaning of life is my personal happiness
 
Darren870 said:
I've always had it together.
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Same. Not trying to brag or say I am perfect by any means, but it's true. I usually made very logical choices since I was young and did what I could to get my career going early (started Community College while I was in HS, took on internships before graduation).
 
Stopped watching tv, got into martial arts and left pro wrestling, focused on finding a career with legs and not just trying to go deep into stuff I found fun, and going independent wtih game development and abandonong working for half assers who I had to make look better than their ideas were.

Now, Im well paid, stable, making whatever I want, healthy, and secure where as before I was always broke, overworked, and usually suffering due to either my indie partners poor planning or my wrestling partners poor work. Adventuring around in both game development and pro wrestling was fun for certain but the fun stops when you realize that you re not getting ahead and largely because your partners arent as dedicated as you. Said screw wrestling entirely, and left to do my own stuff in gaming. Never been happier. Im using my stable fallback career to keep me happy and secure now and Im approaching the exit point for middle class tax brackets already after 2 years and my game is now in full production.

Sometimes you have to just realize hanging out in some circles was holding you back. They were fun times, but things eventually were only fun in smaller and smaller instances as more and more shit just wasnt going anywhere the more I did for people. Sometimes you just gotta admit youve outgrown some folks and leave them behind to move ahead.
 
I'm 27, and up until this time last year, I had two major problems. One, despite having graduated from college in 2012, I still couldn't find a steady salaried job as an artist. Two, I had a notable compulsive spending problem. I was taking a decent chunk of what little money I was making from the occasional freelance project and spending it on stuff. Not stuff I needed, mind you, but stuff that would make me (temporarily) happy and would take my mind off of my unemployment. But of course that good feeling wouldn't last, and eventually I'd by more damn stuff to bring that good feeling back. Amazon became both my best friend and worst nightmare.

Regarding employment, I hit a wall in January of last year after being turned down for another job yet again (and this job in particular felt like a sure thing). I just couldn't do it anymore, I couldn't write another damn cover letter or reorganize my resume again for jobs I only wanted/needed because I had loans to pay. After a great conversation with my older sister in which I told her about an idea I'd had for my own non-profit business - one where would I draw illustrations of kids with chronic diseases as superheroes, I decided to throw caution to the wind and just do it on her advice. As of next week, the project - called 'You Are the Hero' - will officially be one year old and has been a resounding success. I'm making almost no money and rely almost entirely on donations but I could not be happier doing it, this is quite literally what I want to do for the rest of my life. I've just recently gotten the name trademarked and found a non-profit fiscal sponsor to help it grow as well, so as YATH enters its second year, I could not be more excited to see where things go.

As for the compulsive spending problem, after frankly years of trying various methods of dealing with it, a couple months ago I discovered the minimalism movement that's currently gaining a lot of traction thanks to the likes of The Minimalists and Marie Kondo. I think I've finally found the answer and I cannot tell you how liberating it feels. I've come across a handful of other solutions over the years that I tried and failed at, not one of them felt anywhere near as transformative as embracing minimalism has. I've spent the last month getting rid off all the superfluous stuff in my life and I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
 
The death of my father gave me a kick up the ass and finally made me want to become a responsible adult. Felt like I owed it to him.
 
The minute I discovered introspective though. That led to me shedding the "victim mentality". The day I stopped blaming others for the problems in my life and started thinking about what I could do to actually have control over my life was the best day ever.
 
Dad dying unexpectedly while I was out of the country, coupled with the birth of my first child.

I had no choice but to get my shit together.
 
I was addicted to drugs and had serious mental issues, I decided I didnt want to die or end up totally insane so I got sober, now I got a girl a dog and a job, so I cant complain
 
I'm getting there.

I consider myself very lucky. I wasted so much time in school trying to figure out what I wanted to do and when I finally found something I enjoyed and was good at I stuck with it. I spent months trying to get into my field but luckily a friend of mine who was in the business reached out to me and got me a gig. From there I took off. I've only really got my foot at the door. I'm at the part where I'm proving myself not just to others but to me. Working in my desired field really did wonders to my self-esteem and my overall happiness. Everything else clicked in place. Before all this I was frightened that I was too behind to accomplish anything. Now that I'm actually in my field I realized how easily attainable my goals are if I work hard at it. It motivates me.
 
wamberz1 said:
Bit LTTP here but this is a Fantastic post. I applied a couple of these things to my life a couple months ago and you would be shocked at how well some of them work. These two points in particular:


They're little things which you wouldn't normally expect to help but they do in a tremendous way. People LOVE to rank, compare and organize "people" in theirs heads, but you really need to let that all go to see people for their different values and strengths rather than categorizing them as "winners" and "losers". And of course that goes for yourself. And when I stopped staying up until 2 am every night because I had to just watch "one more episode" of X series on netflix, I'm pretty sure my happiness and motivations doubled because I didn't feel tired all the time and didn't have to rely on coffee to get me through the day.
Click to expand...

You are 100% right about sleep. I am currently trying to kick a coffee/caffeine habit I developed from studying in college and staying up taking care of my kids. I've been trying to go to sleep earlier every night and it's made dramatic improvements to my mood. I find myself depending on caffeine less and less.
 
In high school I was almost too sick to graduate and I was struggling with depression. I almost didn't graduate high school. My parents never let me settle, though. They encouraged me to keep going, no matter how much money and time it took. I eventually finished and "woke up", realizing I was behind on every goal in my life, and my illness didn't need to rule over me.

This highlights the important positive influence parents can be on a teen.

So then I went to college and graduated with honors in chemical engineering and got a job at an amazing company and now I'm working on my masters degree.

So I'd say that was the turning point for my life. Life is fun and comfortable now.
 
Still working on it. But I will be approaching a whole year of weightlifting once June comes around and I gotta say I love the results so far.
 
A series of things actually.

When I made a decision that I will not be a loser in life and try hard to make life a decent one.

When I wanted to make my parents proud.

When I wanted to give back to the community.

When I looked at my group of friends (at that time) and said these guys were not going to help me get anywhere.

When I decided to take health seriously.

It just snowballs, once you decide and commit and some success / wins come your way, you will keep going. You will want to get better.

Hardest part is deciding and taking that first step.
 
2 years ago I learned that studying is actually more important than partying and trying to get laid. I also learned that blaming my father's lack of a stable job for everything in my life (despite his ungodly efforts to give me a good life) was pathetic.

Started to give a crap about college, stopped trying to get out of friendzones and decided to help my father.

Now I have good grades, a job and I get laid with a great girl.

I'm really proud of myself ATM. Just wish I wasn't so far behind with my degree
 
I became a teacher because I love kids and English was my strongest subject. I got absolutely destroyed when I did my student teaching, because I wasn't ready for:

A) The clear realization that I am an adult and no longer a child

B) Being a teacher and working with kids is in no way a way to avoid growing up like I thought it would be, because you still have to develop a skillset

C) The reason that there's so few "cool teachers" in public schools is because the administration is usually draconian about professionalism

D) Even if you feel a kinship with the kids, you can't tell them you think an assignment is dumb or crack a joke because it distracts them from actually learning and retaining information, and most of them even want a clear divide between teacher/student and become uncomfortable when you show too much of your "humanness"

E) Simply being strong in a subject does not mean you have a detailed knowledge of the rules used in teaching it, which you need to know because everyone learns differently

Basically I went in expecting to be the cool teacher who was more of a friend than an adult, but I got rekt holding onto that philosophy. I still try to balance professionalism with amiability, but it's hard to do. It has helped immensely in learning how to exercise restraint and realize my weaknesses as a human being, however.

I speak like I have my shit together now, but I don't. It's an ongoing process.

Just in general, realizing that people love me and want me to be happy and do well has also given me a drive that caring about myself for selfish reasons could never do. I always used to let people walk all over me, but it's not fair to let them when there's people out there who are both counting on me and people who want to see me live respectfully and happily.
 
I was working at Walmart at 19. I worked in electronics with a bunch of fun people. We had a blast at work and I actually looked forward to it. As time went on, people started going separate ways. It started to get worse with shitty hours, several bullshit write-ups (one for acting "unmotivated" at work) and multiple desperate pleas to have a steady schedule so I could maybe go back to school.

My managers pulled me into the back and said they could tell I was unhappy at work. I told them I wanted to continue my education and work in IT. They both LAUGHED at me and said I would never make more than 30k doing that and I was better off just working towards being a walmart manager. I ended up walking out about a week later and never looked back.

I signed up for school and got an IT job pretty quick. It was late night helpdesk and I loved it. My co-workers and I would just play roms or settlers of catan over LAN. There were 5 of us on call rotations with an average of about a call an hour. So tons and tons of free time to goof around.

After that I got contracted to work on the air force base and after that kept furthering my career. I am now at a place where I need to get my shit together again. I got laid off in October and am still unemployed. My girlfriend has kidney disease and can't over stress herself. She's going to school full time right now and is about to graduate. We have a house together and the $428 I make every week is not helping us get by. The IT field is way over saturated and I can't find any work despite my awesome work experience. It is a struggle and now I'm trying to figure out how to get my shit back together again. History repeats itself
 
gainful employment. Its crazy how a decent paycheck turned me into adult really quick. Okay, still not really an adult but it was a huge step.
 
BigWeather said:
With the kids at 16 and nearly 19yo I'll be having even more free time. I've GOT to channel my energy into decluttering, fixing the house, and prepping for empty nest and eventually a move to where my wife and I would like to retire. Every weekend I resolve will be the weekend I do that but every Monday morning I'm left wondering what happened.

So hopefully I'll figure out the key to this soon. Does NeoGAF have a declutter thread? I need inspiration. =)

I know it's pretty minor stuff but that's the main thing I need to work on.
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Get a friend and a dumpster to help to get rid of stuff. Tell them to be brutal. If you haven't used something in over a year, you probably don't need to keep it.
 
No where near. And i don't think i will ever be able to either.

I seen glimmers of a future, and that has been with someone i became friends with over the last few years, it is like a piece in the jigsaw that may elevate the rest of me to be the best person i can be.

But at the same time, crossing the 30 barrier i am also in the midst of an identity criss which is frightening. My teenage years and twenties were a piece of piss compare to now. Add to that 1 friend married last year, i was best man, and this year 3 of my other close mates are getting married too, that should may be spur me on, or give me hope, but i seem to be on a fast track in the opposite direction.

I had dreams when being a teenager, and through most of my twenties, of travelling, meeting new people, being creative , focusing on my photography, maybe running a cinema or a darkroom, but i don't know whether i am that person anymore. I just grown to be so cynical or.. not even cynical, i'm just existential about everything.

So it kind of hard to get your shit together when you are totally at odds with yourself, when you are unsure of who you are anymore, and don't feel stable enough to tackle life head on.

On a positive i am cycling now, so on that side i am probably healthier than i ever have been.
 
I like this thread!! It's so motivating to see that people are working hard to get what they want in life desite any hardships or troubles. And I'll say to those that have no idea what to do, it takes a lot of thinking and action and failure to realize what you need to do for you. Sometimes it takes a while, and that's okay, and even if you don't know me, I am supporting you all the same. /barfinducingpositivity

- I hit rock bottom with my depression and anxiety and went into a program at a hospital in 2014. Group therapies and art therapy and all that. Learned I had alienated my mother and brother, the only family that truly supported me and didn't push me to the side (because 'crazy'), due to my mental health issues, which pushed me to get better and work on working through my problems. I learned healthy coping habits, and I have since apologized to them and talked to them about it and clarified that I wasn't truly myself, and I wasn't thinking straight, and have made an effort to repair the relationships. I am very close to them now, and also to my friends. I call my mom almost every day and I love hanging out with her, even if it's just running errands with her. Learning to openly communicate and to express appreciation for the people in my life is a lesson I am so glad I got.

This helped me learn that I cannot blame my past for everything. I am not my past, I am not the things people have called me or have done to me. I am me, right now, and I don't want to hurt people anymore. I am my actions, and I decide where I go from here. When I would blame others for my problems, I was giving up control of myself. I was giving up myself. I didn't want that anymore.

I didn't like who I was. I was given the tools and opportunity to fix this, and only I can improve myself and my behavior. No one can put in the work but me. And it's so fucking worth it. Being introspective and asking yourself, "Why am I feeling the way I am feeling?" helped me so much. Also, if you have the resources to see and talk to someone, like a therapist, I highly recommend it. Never be afraid to admit there is a problem. Never be afraid to seek the help you need. Talking to someone can help you sort it all out. Counselors aren't just for people with deep-rooted issues or mental health issues. They're there to help everyone.

- Due to going to the hospital, I had to drop out of the college I was at. I was doing awful anyway, but it still filled me with anxiety. When I moved back home and got on my feet, I moved in with my SO and I enrolled back in school. Realizing how lucky I was to get the opportunity to get a do-over, I am now doing my best to focus on it and take it very seriously. I know it's a stepping stone to what I want to do in life, and it's an investment I am willing to take. Thinking about how close I was to just never returning (if my health didn't get better) motivated me a lot. I don't have a set plan for what I want my career to be, but for right now I am doing my best to get my general classes done so I can transfer to a university in a year or so.

- A few months back, I was diagnosed with two chronic illnesses. I had been struggling for a while, but this really hit me. Before that it was all guessing. I was hoping it was something I could just take a pill for. At that point, I was really having a hold on my depression and anxiety and making great strides. Then... well it was kind of a slap in the face. You never expect your body to betray you.

I am still struggling, but it's a great lesson in balance. What I can handle, and how much I can push myself. I have started a medication that gives me more energy and helps me focus. When the weather lets up (the cold hurts my joints and stuff), I want to start walking and hopefully work my way up to running again. It was something that my illnesses took away from me that I miss very much. I am working on fixing my diet. The whole situation shed a lot on my health, which I never really thought about. I thought I'd always be fine. I try to appreciate my good days, and I try not to get frustrated on my bad days. It's a long road ahead of me, but it's motivated me to really take stock in my health and to focus on getting myself in a good place, there. Plus the medical bills suck and anything I can do to alleviate them would be just great.

For me, it was a lot of introspective thinking and not so great situations that made me realize I had to get my shit together. I was given the tools and opportunities to do so, and it might be a while before I am where I want to be.

A piece of advice I can give to whoever made it this far (sorry I ramble) is that you need to recognize and be proud of any steps you take towards being the person you want to be. It takes a lot of hard work, and even if no one else notices, you have to notice and congratulate yourself. It sounds and feels corny, but you have to be your biggest supporter. It took me years to figure that out and it'll be years before I fully like myself, but I am proud of how far I made it.

Something that helped me a lot is writing down my plans, even if it's just idly on a day off. It helps jumpstart your thinking and gets you thinking about HOW to tackle those plans. Getting your shit together is hard, and it takes a lot of work and planning. But once you get the ball rolling, it feels great, and you want to continue feeling great.

Also I start paying more attention to finances and started keeping a planner for appointments and homework assignments. There's lots of planners out there that fit every kind of lifestyle, and I've seen some people even make their own and print it out and put the pages in a binder.

Also stop drinking soda and drink more water.

I think I rambled enough. There's a lot of good advice in this thread!!
 
Middle of 2015 I had my shit together. Happily single, lost weight and a lot healthier and deleted all my negative social media (Tumblr). Now I'm in a relationship and I've gotten a bit too comfortable. :P
 
Joe said:
First: be sure that you really want to get your shit together. Don't waste your own time flirting with it if you already know that you're not going to do it. For me personally, it was: I was done and bored with partying, hanging out with friends, and just wasting days at a time. There was person I wanted to be and things I wanted to accomplish in life and I was tired of letting time just fly by. It's like changing diets vs. changing lifestyles. There is no quick-fix diet for getting your shit together. It's a lifestyle change in your most basic aspects of life.

Second: "getting your shit together" does not equal you in a suit, nice car, with a house, wife, and kids. Getting your shit together means cleaning up all of the literal and figurative crap in your life and giving yourself a rock-solid foundation to work on so you can do everything possible to help yourself accomplish whatever it is that you want to accomplish.

These are the steps I took in the past 10 months:

  • I started keeping a physical calendar/planner and writing down appointments, due dates, to-do's, and even passwords. Stop carrying around all this information in your brain. It takes up fuel, time, and space, and also creates stress from trying to remember it all. Get it out of your brain. For the first time since I was a kid I am going to sleep at night relatively carefree without the stress of wondering if I will remember all these things that I have to remember. (Writing registers more deeply with the brain than typing it in an electronic calendar. The calendar on your phone is better than nothing but a physical planner is best).
  • I bought a journal to write down thoughts that wouldn't go away. This isn't to document my life but instead to "brain dump" obsessive and useless thoughts that were taking up space and time.
  • I made a list of attributes for "the person I want to be in life" and "the person I don't want to be in life". This helps you to outline, and form your future self. Personal and internal goals to work towards. It's important to know who you are AND who you are not. For example, I tried really hard for a really long time to be the bachelor/one-night-stand guy. It wasn't until I started laying out the truths on paper that I really don't want that and it's probably why I failed so miserably at it (self-sabotage). I truly don't care THAT much about money and I really have almost no true desire for a mansion. I setup baseless goals for myself for a long time (and always used to wonder why I never worked towards them).
  • I made a giant list of short-term, medium-term, and long-term goals. This is a big deal because you get to see, in a top-down aerial view, all the goals you've accumulated throughout the years all together for the first time. It's a good perspective to see on paper the person you've always wanted to be and how far you actually are from being that person.
  • I've always had ADHD but only in the past year did I diagnosed by a professional for it. I'm prescribed Adderall and take it several days a week. Adderall is not a magic pill. It will not transform your life. IF you have ADHD then it is a tool to help you. A hammer doesn't magically build you a house, but it is a tool to help you build a house.
  • I use post-it notes on my computer monitor to remind me, yet again, of the short-term things I need to do. I am very forgetful and I need many, many reminders. Once I start slipping it all snowballs very quickly and then I get overwhelmed. I need to stay on top of my responsibilities.
  • I turned off all notifications on my computer and phone besides calls, texts, and alarms. The 5 micro-questions you subconsciously ask yourself every time you get a menial notification adds up to a big-time brain energy vampire. Save that energy for stuff that matters. (Setup specific email times throughout the day if you have to access email for work)
  • I got my finances in order. I set up electronic payments for all my bills so I don't have to worry about due dates, websites & passwords, and balances. I checked all my credit reports. I set up a monthly budget.
  • I gathered all my documents, separated and sorted them, bought bankers boxes and folders, and filed everything away. I bought a desk bin for all new documents I receive and once a month I go sort it all and file it away. Everything is now in one easy-to-find location. You may never need to access these documents but even saving 1% stress by having the peace of mind knowing that your documents aren't spread out over several locations is worth it.
  • I started going to sleep earlier. I am most productive during the day and staying up after midnight is just a waste. Learn to prioritize your time and be as efficient as possible
  • I stopped ranking and comparing things, people, and places. Stop separating and ranking, it is NOT a good place to be in. Stop thinking (even subconsciously) that you're better than people or that they are better than you.
  • Baby steps. If a project, task, or goal seems too daunting then break it up into as many bite sized bullet point to-do's as possible. A large ship that changes its direction by just 2 degrees will be in a very different place over a long period of time.

Together, all of these minor practices have drastically changed my life. For the first time ever I actually feel like I have a handle on my life and I am incredibly prepared to meet the challenges in life that I want to meet.
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Beautiful post.
 
AlphaDump said:
Going to the gym helped teach me a routine for my day. Which then evolved to also include studying.

Doing both made me realize that much of life is actually easy, it is just about showing up consistently and putting in some effort. You can learn anything as long as you try.

It is amazing to see where you land in life 14 years later still following that structure.

Where would you be if you could dedicated 30min-1hour to something nearly 4-5 days a week for the next 20 years of your life?
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This mirrors my thoughts. Out of college I kind of let myself slip a bit with all my new found free time. I was regressing in pretty much every category though (physically, mentally, etc).

I read these blog posts one day and they changed my life - http://waitbutwhy.com/2013/10/why-procrastinators-procrastinate.html http://waitbutwhy.com/2013/11/how-to-beat-procrastination.html

First I wrote down all physical and mental qualities I wanted to obtain. Translate these into goals.

Started going to the gym again and sticking to the schedule and that introduced structure and forced you away from your house (and all the distractions within). If you can teach yourself to consistently go to the gym, anything you desire in your life is possible.

Identified drinking as a detriment to where I wanted to be as a person. Saves money + creates more free time between weekend nights and the hangovers the next day.

Next I dedicated an hour to a coursera class everyday (usually becomes much longer than an hour).

Still working on it, but I am young (22). Whenever I start to stray from my path I read these articles

Still feel like I need to accomplish more at work for example. Also I have a banjo I want to learn gathering dust in my room.
 
Both my parents died within an 18 month period.

I had gone through life knowing that if I was ever in trouble, my parents would help me. I was lazy and lacked motivation as a result. All of a sudden my "safety net" was gone, I struggled to cope at first, but it forced me to grow up, get a "proper job", and become an adult.

I'm far from being wealthy, but I've worked for what I have, and I take pride in that. Apart from a 3 month period after my mother died (I was really messed up by it) I've had a job ever since.

I was forced to grow up by circumstances, but I am a much stronger person now.
 
Shit it hit me pretty recently, started sophomore year of college. I couldn't register for my classes due to issues with the financial aid department, so seeing all my friends go to school and me not attend class actually was a kick in the ass. Also, I had a discussion with a friend of mine around the same time about growing up. The fact that we're the ones now whom are driving people around in cars, have part time jobs alongside school and have a lot more independence and responsibility, it shows that we're maturing little by mature on a daily basis.

These two events enabled me to actually prioritize school and actually put in the work to get high grades, get my first official job
retail can eat a dick
, actually start my career path of film directing and overall take a step back and evaluate my current situation. I don't have my shit together, no 19 year old does but actually doing all these things are super fulfilling and I'm glad I had this moment of self-actualization.
 
Way back when I was in 8th grade. I saw my brother starting to bum off of my parents while dropping out of tech school, living at home rent free, and doing nothing with his life. At that time I was doing rather poorly in school. After that, I told my parents that I was going to start making good grades and try hard in everything I do. All that hard work paid off 20 years later, and my brother is finding out the hard way what happens when you constantly make bad decisions and then blame others for your shortcomings.
 
Breaking up with my X.

After i broke up with her everything is back to normal.

I appreciate the good times but damn i dodged a bullet.

I got back to my normal self and money is right, job is right, debt free and mentally at ease.
 
Stopped waiting to make money as a pro in game animation and got a different career so that I could do game stuff independently. Now I can make whatever the hell I want with no compromise, and still get a steady paycheck, benefits, and a nice stable life with job security.

Had to leave the "pro" side of the industry to get to the parts of it I wanted from the beginning which was to do my own thing and work on only the kind of games I dreamed of. Outside of licensed projects I wish I could be a part of someday this is all I ever asked for.
 
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