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How Do I Get My GF to stop asking me for food?

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I had a gf like this before. She was the same way because she was always afraid of ordering something out of her comfort zone and not liking it. Wasn't really expose to lots of different food growing up. It was cool sharing and expanding her taste.
 
Ha, I had the same thing with my GF though at least she literally only wanted a bite.

I explained that asking for food is basically saying "I'm having some" since anyone who says no looks like a complete dick, and that it bugged me a bit since it was nearly everything I had. It would be nice to just finish a meal and eat all of it.

So now she asks from time to time and I offer some more often.
 
Taking a second to be a bit more serious than I think OP is being, some of these posts are silly.

Not every couple shares their food like every meal is a fucking picnic on a bright floral quilt on a grassy hill in the French Riviera. Believe it or not, a lot of mature and healthy couples have these things called "boundaries" that loving partners tend to do this thing called "respect."

It's almost not even about the food. OP has made it clear to his girlfriend that this thing she does, this thing she could easily stop doing (unless she has a weird compulsion to eat food off of other people's plates, which...ew), makes him uncomfortable, and she continues to do it, again this thing she could very easily stop doing, despite that. Could be a trivial matter to some, but it does show a lack of consideration and respect for your partner.
 
Order something you know she won't eat. Preferably something that will give you stink breath and gas. Although, that could also go terribly, terribly wrong.
 
Maybe something is wrong with her diet. Does she have regular meals? Is she starving herself? Does she feel full enough or she eats tiny things and so hunger strikes when she sees you eating? There's something going on here that isn't just her miscalculating how much food she needs for her meal.
 
My girlfriend always wants to try what I order. I usually don't want what she ordered, or I would have ordered it. I give her a bit, but she isn't getting a significant portion of my food.
 
Sharing a bite here and there is fine, but for every damn meal sounds annoying.

Sounds like she has weird boundaries issues.
 
royalan said:
Not every couple shares their food like every meal is a fucking picnic on a bright floral quilt on a grassy hill in the French Riviera. Believe it or not, a lot of mature and healthy couples have these things called "boundaries" that loving partners tend to do this thing called "respect."
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You're insane and mean. Tumblr has taught me that all couples should be like that!
#relationshipgoals
#menaretrash

I got dumped for bringing up a talk about boundaries and respect. Kudos to you for bringing this up. To this day I think that if I had suggested a threesome with her sister and best friend, she wouldn't have gotten so fucking angry. Good god.
 
By laying down the law before you officially start dating.

I start out all my dates out by first clearly establishing that I don't like sharing, i don't like texting, i like sex, and small talk bores me.

IM SO LONELY T___T
 
DragonKnight said:
(funny because she used to call me an indian giver)
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Okay well first off, she sounds like she sucks if she says "indian giver."

Secondly, I honestly do not see what the big deal is. My wife eats my fries or whatever at dinner. Order stuff to share. If you feel like you need to make a post complaining about this as a straw that broke the camel's back you should break up. And then spend some time evaluating yourself before you date someone else because this seems like a pretty fucking petty thing to get so bent out of shape over.
 
royalan said:
Taking a second to be a bit more serious than I think OP is being, some of these posts are silly.

Not every couple shares their food like every meal is a fucking picnic on a bright floral quilt on a grassy hill in the French Riviera. Believe it or not, a lot of mature and healthy couples have these things called "boundaries" that loving partners tend to do this thing called "respect."
Click to expand...

He came across pretty uptight in the OP; he elaborated a bit more later in the thread..it sounds like she can be extreme with it. I do agree some of the responses here are silly; occasionally downright sad (GAF always has a few 'le sigh, just be happy you have someone let them do what they want' posts.)

I'll counter your post though; sometimes people desire "boundaries" not for positive reasons. People's psychologies are far more complex than that; this same OP could find himself not minding at all if his gf scarfs down half his plate every time they eat with a different partner.

I've seen it happen; I've experienced it happening. Across numerous fairly serious relationships lots of things my significant other's have had in common; but didn't always bother me. That might have been because I was subconsciously looking for things to be annoyed with; or may have been due to my own relative happiness/unhapiness with life.

Either way when someone does annoy you, and a lot of people seem to think you are being uptight.. it's good to examine the emotions. See if there is an external factor causing this annoyance.

After all; being happy when your partner takes food off your plate is a more desirable place to be in life isn't it? Not every boundary is so important that you shouldn't at least consider thinking about freeing yourself of it.
 
I think people didn't read the OP after he posted his first post.
He said that his girlfriend doesn't just take a bite but can eat his whole share.
The second part is a problem, imo because then OP doesn't have anything to eat left.

Maybe he should eat her share instead ?
Like exhanging plates ? So that way she will maybe annoyed too ("hey my food!") ?
 
I had a girlfriend who used to do this. It used to annoy the shit out of me, because I knew I didn't want what she was having. It's not like I am getting the best of both worlds, I'm just getting less of what I want. It stopped bothering me at some point, though.

It's funny because my wife likes to take the best bite of the sandwich now. It doesn't bother me, I let her get that bite and joke about it with her. You get over it, you get used to it. I think as long as you understand she wants some of what you're having, then you know how to deal.
 
DragonKnight said:
Hey, GAF. I have an otherwise awesome girlfriend who does one thing that bugs me. Virtually every meal i eat she wants some of what i eat. And when she does manage to restrain herself she just looks longingly at my food. We went to dog sit a few weeks ago at a friend of hers and it shocked me to realize that her behavior is identical to that of a dog. Ive asked her several times to not do this as it really bugs me but it doesnt work.

It was at a point where i wouldnt want to eat meals in front of her because she would always ask me for my food. Anybody have similar dealings with this? Its at a point know where im ready to hangout less or even eat less meals together to curb this shit.

And im not selfish. But i think asking me for some of each and every meal is greedy and annoying. Anybody have similar dealings with this?
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Dude you've got bigger issues if you don't know how to talk to your girlfriend. Just communicate with her and tell her you don't like that she does that. If that doesn't or hasn't worked then you need to have a discussion about how to resolve the issue or possibly come to some agreement that works for you. I'm sure there's a solution here. Honestly though it just sounds like a pet peeve of yours, it might just be something you have to put up with of you really care about her.
 
Seconding Chaos17's suggestion.

1) Order/prepare your food well above her level of tolerance for spice
2) Never have to worry about having your food stolen again
 
If I were dating a woman who was attractive AND liked the same music that I do, I'd put up with a lot worse (music is always a problem).

Just order more food. Build that extra demand into your ordering plan. If she's awesome, let it go.
 
riotous said:
After all; being happy when your partner takes food off your plate is a more desirable place to be in life isn't it? Not every boundary is so important that you shouldn't at least consider thinking about freeing yourself of it.
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No, not at all. Not if that shit makes you uncomfortable. People seem to be looking at this through the lens of a romance novel. Not everybody finds all the cutesy, borderline desperate "Tee-hee we're so co-dependent!" shit to be cute.

Like I said, it's almost not even about the food. OP has stated that it really bothers him, and that he's told her this. And unless she has some weird compulsion, calming it down on eating half her boyfriend's food all time is something she could easily stop doing if she at all gave a shit.

In this situation, I look at it like this: which would be easier? For him to get over his discomfort? Or for her to just grow the fuck up and stop?
 
Is she overweight? Does she eat her meal and yours?

I don't know how often it happens but I'm sure there's a point where it would become annoying to anyone despite what some people here are saying. I mean to me if it's one out of every few meals I wouldn't care. I'd share no problem.

If it's just all the time and she's just a straight up mooch (or pooch maybe?) though I'd tell her no. I've ordered my food that I want and if you want some of the same thing order it yourself. If she then thinks you're the one being greedy and/or selfish maybe it's time to reevaluate some things.
 
Chaos17 said:
I think people didn't read the OP after he posted his first post.
He said that his girlfriend doesn't just take a bite but can eat his whole share.
The second part is a problem, imo because then OP doesn't have anything to eat left.

Maybe he should eat her share instead ?
Like exhanging plates ? So that way she will maybe annoyed too ("hey my food!") ?
Click to expand...
I'm pretty sure it's less about that than him calling his girlfriend a dog.

Anyway, seriously, though, does she have some sort of eating disorder? Maybe she actually needs some psychological help.
 
BocoDragon said:
It only bugs me when I ask my gf if she wants anything, she says no, and when I get mine, she eats half the thing. I would have made/bought more! lol
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My ex did that shit all the time. "No no its ok! I'm not hungry! I just want a teeny little bite."

The situation always resulted in 2 hungry and unsatisfied people.
 
royalan said:
No, not at all. Not if that shit makes you uncomfortable. People seem to be looking at this through the lens of a romance novel. Not everybody finds all the cutesy, borderline desperate "Tee-hee we're so co-dependent!" shit to be cute.
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Who said anything indicating co-dependence who enjoys sharing food? Who talked about sharing food that came across desperate? What in the world are you talking about?

And if something makes you feel uncomfortable there is nothing wrong (and it's really healthy) to at least contemplate the idea that you are being affected by something other than "the thing making you uncomfortable."
You are literally angry that couples exist who enjoy sharing food; it's... not cute.

Like I said, it's almost not even about the food. OP has stated that it really bothers him, and that he's told her this. And unless she has some weird compulsion, calming it down on eating half her boyfriend's food all time is something she could easily stop doing if she at all gave a shit.

In this situation, I look at it like this: which would be easier? For him to get over his discomfort? Or for her to just grow the fuck up and stop?
Click to expand...

There do seem to be some potential respect issues; which became more clear as he elaborated more.

Why does it matter what is easier though?

You should always examine your own role in any anger you feel at something; refusing to do so is not a ticket to happiness. I mean dude is describing scenarios where his girlfriend sits and eats his entire meal.. what exactly is he doing during all of this? He said he's said some things to her several times.. but to what extent is he communicating? There are at least signs that there could be issues on both sides of the table here and it doesn't hurt for the OP to get advice beyond "fuck her, I agree."
 
Not a thing that bothers me, but I can understand it bothering others.

DragonKnight said:
Many times she will get her food, sample mine and then continue to eat mine. What bothers me is that if i dont stop her she will eat all my food. There is no restraint. She Used to eat herself to the point of damn near bursting...every meal
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Has this happened before? If my girlfriend actually ate all the food on my plate, I think I would go nuts. That is some boundary-busting bullshit, right there.
 
Take a big share of her food next time and see if she gets irritated. If she does, tell her that's how I feel when you do it.
 
riotous said:
Who said anything indicating co-dependence who enjoys sharing food? Who talked about sharing food that came across desperate? What in the world are you talking about?

And if something makes you feel uncomfortable there is nothing wrong (and it's really healthy) to at least contemplate the idea that you are being affected by something other than "the thing making you uncomfortable."

You are literally angry that couples exist who enjoy sharing food; it's... not cute.
Click to expand...

I'm not angry at couples who share food. If that's what you and your partner do, then do you.

It's as you pointed out, all the "You should just be happy you're not alone!" "I share food with my partner all the time OP! You're weird and petty!" that aren't even trying to empathize with OP.
 
royalan said:
I'm not angry at couples who share food. If that's what you and your partner do, then do you.

It's as you pointed out, all the "You should just be happy you're not alone!" "I share food with my partner all the time OP! You're weird and petty!" that aren't even trying to empathize with OP.
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Yeah don't disagree; don't see how those people fit your description of "rose colored glasses".. really seemed like you were referring to the people who enjoy sharing food.

What does "you should be happy you're not alone" have to do with "the lens of a romance novel"?

Clearly you weren't just referring to those people.
 
Charge her for every bite, this is a great money making opportunity.
 
Tell her she looks fat and ask if she really wants the food.
Or just give her some food.
Or just say "no".

Lots of options. Try one and see what works.
 
riotous said:
Yeah don't disagree; don't see how those people fit your description of "rose colored glasses".. really seemed like you were referring to the people who enjoy sharing food.

What does "you should be happy you're not alone" have to do with "the lens of a romance novel"?

Clearly you weren't just referring to those people.
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"Lens of a romance novel" is reference to people thinking that your girlfriend eating your food every time you eat is somehow universally cute and OP is automatically weird for being made uncomfortable by it. It's those stereotypical things that you see couples on TV shows doing. Always sharing everything (even food), holding hands every time they go so somewhere. It rings of that, "this is what 'together' couples do!" and that's bullshit and doesn't ring true to reality. In real life, not every couple finds that stuff adorable. In real life, a lot of mature couples have standing boundaries that they respect.
 
make more food in the beginning,
share the extra food,
she notices the thoughtfulness,
you still have the desired portion on your plate.
winwin
 
KieferCrimson said:
I got dumped for bringing up a talk about boundaries and respect. Kudos to you for bringing this up. To this day I think that if I had suggested a threesome with her sister and best friend, she wouldn't have gotten so fucking angry. Good god.
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Sounds like a story. So what was it that she was doing that she was so defensive about?

OGoofy said:
make more food in the beginning,
share the extra food,
she notices the thoughtfulness,
you still have the desired portion on your plate.
winwin
Click to expand...

Going to a restaurant and ordering two dishes of the meal you want because you know she's going to eat one isn't "winwin".
 
I really fucking hate anyone eating off my plate.
 
St3v3 said:
I really fucking hate anyone eating off my plate.
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97c133628aa4503a1b27a4cdcd34b897.gif
 
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