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[Tertullian]

https://twitter.com/chanelpuke/status/371466337966514176

 

[Pilgrimzero]

Build a dungeon around it. Hire a huge monster to guard it.

Wait for the adventures to locate the dungeon and slay the monster.

Watch them be over joyed to have found a new magic item and carry it off to their doom.

 

[backflip10019]

Just put it back in the trash heap you found it in.

 

[Bisnic]

A cursed sword? What is this? Real life or Warcraft?

 

[ReAxion]

It would be a pretty stupid curse if you could somehow loophole your way out of suffering the effects of the curse.

 

[Rygar 8 Bit]

agents have been sent to your location in

Spoiler

redacted

for item retrieval please stand by

 

[drtomoe123]

By your own rules you didn't accept the curse willingly so don't worry

I didn't even think of this!!!

How old are you exactly?

26...and I really hope I make it to 27 without being eaten by scarabs or something

 

[Dr.Acula]

Wrong forum, also no name of game in thread title.

*reads op*

Oooooohhhh myyyy gaaaawd.

 

[Randolph Freelander]

Dude, it's +3 to Dexterity and Constitution and +5 to Strength.

 

[UpperCaseN]

I want to say take it to a local Occult shop and ask them to look at it, but they probably only exist in the movies.

 

[j0hnnix]

Pee on it like a jelly fish sting. Peeing on things helps. Ask R Kelly.

 

[Nafai1123]

 

[Lonely1]

You need to hunt down the sorcerer/warlock/shaman that placed the curse and behead him or her with the same sword. Only then the blade will be cleansed.

 

[ElTorro]

 

[Nyoro SF]

We need deets on the curse. Does it lower your defense rating?

 

[statham]

Dude, it's +3 to Dexterity and Constitution and +5 to Strength.

but -7 luck, -3 intelligence.

 

[stufte]

So my dad passed away a few years ago and his partner recently got in touch with me so he could give me some of his stuff that he came across while moving. Most of it was Cher memorabilia from the 70s and 80s, but once I got to the bottom of one of the boxes I found something I hadn't seen since I was a kid: a sword that my uncle brought back from Egypt back in the day. I texted my mom about it and she said that it was cursed and that I need to get rid of it ASAP. I'm not super superstitious, but this thing is starting to freak me out.

What do I do, GAF? I googled around and it looks like I need to burn it, take it to a Catholic priest, or give it away to someone who accepts the curse willingly. Am I already fucked?

Send it to me. I collect cursed items. Money can't change hands though, otherwise you retain the curse.

 

[Sun Bather]

A cursed sword needs virgin blood, to drive out the demons.

 

[Walter White Walker]

Put on a Cleric's Ring - that will nullify the curse while in battle.

 

[PSqueak]

Well, Shit OP, guess you're an anime protagonist, you will go on an adventure and forge a bond with the spirit cursing the sword.

Fuck, i was happier without the knowledge that our world was fictional and you're the main character of the story.

 

[Kuraudo]

What type of curse? Did it kill your uncle and your dad?

Also, need pics.

 

[Orbis Tabula]

I thought for sure, upon reading the thread title, that someone just accidentally posted a Gaming side thread on the OT.

 

[old manatee]

Cher memorabilia and a cursed sword. That's incredible.

 

[ultron87]

Salt and burn.

Also, we need a picture of this sword.

What if it doesn't like having its picture taken?

 

[Extra Sauce]

You can get a lot of money for a cursed sword on eBay. Be warned, however that most interested parties will not hesitate to use you as human sacrifice for their demonic masters should you give them the chance.

 

[B-Dubs]

Salt and burn.

Also, we need a picture of this sword.

That's only if it's haunted. He'll need some hex bags and maybe some holy oil to burn it with.

We seriously need a picture OP, don't let us down.

 

[LUFTRAUSER]

Ancient Egyptian curses expire after a while, OP. You're probably safe.

 

[DeaviL]

Don't sell that shit man, who knows when you might need a 2d8 +4 cursed sword.

 

[entremet]

Fuck yes this is the thread I need to get me through the rest of the afternoon

There's an awesome Uncharted 4 thread on the gaming side that's a doozy if you want some quality entertainment.

 

[PranooY]

Still waiting for the picture. I can take it off you, if it looks badass.

 

[JetBlackPanda]

I don't know why you guys are joking about this shit, demonic curses are real.

 

[TickleMeElbow]

Throw it in a swamp.

 

[Riki]

Use its evil power to rule the world. Duh.

 

[SturokBGD]

If you could only turn back time and see where that sword has been.

The important thing is why has this amazing post gone over everyone's heads?

 

[zeemumu]

Let the sword blind you so you get cool telekinetic powers.

 

[smurfx]

make sure to tell people it's cursed if you sell it. that will likely add to the value. you can always throw it up in the air like this.

if it doesn't cut off your hand then you can take possession of it.

 

[Subpar Spatula]

Let me fuck it. My sex scares anything away.

 

[outunderthestars]

For $500 I'll get rid of the curse for you. I accept paypal.

Don't listen to this fancy clown. I was his mentor and he was a terrible pupil. I can lift the curse, properly, for $300.

 

[Anton Sugar]

Almost positive there is an Adventure Time episode about this. Each episode is only 11 minutes long, shouldn't take you too long to find it.

 

[spindashing]

Siegfried, I thought you got rid of Soul Edge.

 

[explodet]

Spending all that time exposed to Cher memorabilia probably diluted the curse.
Or amplified it.

Truth be told, I'm unaware on how ancient Egyptian curses are affected by proximity to artifacts related to such a powerful entity from the 1970's.

Why would you wanna get rid of it? It damages ghosts without you ever having to use transient curse.

Seriously, have you priced Transient Curses lately?
We're not made of money.

 

[LycanXIII]

Sound's like your Father's partner tried to pass it off on to you unwillingly. You should give it back to them.

 

[davepoobond]

cursed ancient sword from egypt found in an attic in modern day America by skeptical son of dead father who was a fan of Cher?


i smell a movie idea

Too late op, the sword has already rendered you stupid.

savaged

 

[Duane Cunningham]

There's an old man in Brecconary you'll need to see.

 

[LUFTRAUSER]

Spending all that time exposed to Cher memorabilia probably diluted the curse.
Or amplified it.

Truth be told, I'm unaware on how ancient Egyptian curses are affected by proximity to artifacts related to such a powerful entity from the 1970's.

Maybe it isn't the sword that's cursed, but the Cher memorabilia!

 

[Ondore]

If you get into 256 fights with it, doesn't it become a Paladin's Sword? I'd try that.

 

[Regiruler]

Dude, it's +3 to Dexterity and Constitution and +5 to Strength.

-4 charisma apparently though

OP picccsssss

 

[AlStrong]

Fight 255 battles to turn it into a paladin sword.

If you get into 256 fights with it, doesn't it become a Paladin's Sword? I'd try that.

Curses.

 

[Vanillalite]

 

[drtomoe123]

Okay, sorry for the potato quality but my Moto X's camera is borked and all of my roommates are gone. I had to settle for the 3DS camera.

Sound's like your Father's partner tried to pass it off on to you unwillingly. You should give it back to them.

He just moved halfway across the country. Can you mail swords? Guessing I can't.