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How do people have sex?

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somuchwater

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Ok, that's perhaps not the best thread title. But...

Here are the things I understand:

1. People feeling an attraction to each other.
2. How people meet someone new and feel a connection.
3. How a feeling of attraction can grow over an evening.
4. How a feeling or booze or drugs can put you in unexpected situations.
5. How life is weird and complicated and unpredictable.
6. And obviously, the mechanics of sex itself (though by no means well).

I get all this.

Here's what I don't understand:

1. What exactly happens in between meeting someone at a bar and having sex with them?
2. What exactly do people say that goes from questions about what you do to a living to "hey do you want to come to my place?" Do people just say that outright?
3. What about if you're at your or her/his place and you're just chilling - how do you go from watching a movie to touching each other? What do real people do instead of the sitcom cliche of "the yawn and stretch"?

What I am actually asking is: can you explain what happens in the space between just talking to someone and you both acknowledging that you're about to sleep together? It just makes no sense to me - do people just say stuff directly? Or do they talk around it?
 
Step 1 - Be attractive.

Step 2 - Don't be unattractive.

If you perform above steps, then boom just go ahead.

This works for casual hookups.

For a serious relationship, you generally develop a good chemistry which leads to feelings for each other, and then finally leading to sex.
 
somuchwater said:
What I am actually asking is: can you explain what happens in the space between just talking to someone and you both acknowledging that you're about to sleep together? It just makes no sense to me - do people just say stuff directly? Or do they talk around it?
Click to expand...

It just happens ... there's no talking about it ... if you're talking, then you're doing it wrong
 
You feel it out man. You don't get to the peak of a hill in one step.

...Or you can just pull out your dingus and say "can we cut to the chase?"
 
One woman just asked me and I did it.

Another time I asked a woman and she said no.

I assume it for the most part just goes like that with varying results.
 
I usually start by showing them a few youtube clips of The Last of Us to show them how storytelling in video games has changed since the 16 bits days
 
I'm not one for one-night stands, but I guess I'll explain both scenarious for you:

1. Short one - Drunk, meet her, she puts her hand on your dick after you've grinded against eachother on teh dancefloor, ask her if she wants to get some air, go outside, have sex in a secluded spot or head back to your place, do the deed, maybe exchange numbers but you're not going to call eachother because it was a one-time thing.

2. Long one - Meet someone through a social activity, meet with them X times, establish that you're interested in her amorously, go on some dates, kiss, x dates, sex.
 
You start making out in the bar and you try to play your cards right. If it works bingo! If it doesn't work you can try next time.
Making out is key.
 
why do y'all overthink this so much
ceVe6sb.png
 
What you're looking for is "nonverbal cues" OP. It's really tough to explain, actually, but if you pick up on them you'll just "know" that they'd feel positively towards coming back to your place/going to their place/fucking right in that bathroom over there

Of course, before you start having sex, get a verbal cue. Consent is sexy.
 
Well, the first time I ever had sex, the girl blatantly told me that was her intent, long before we were in the moment that it happened.

I'd say generally, making out with someone leads to it, until you're in a long term relationship and it's become part of the norm.
 
Yeah, if we're talking more casual sex, then basically it's just making out, foreplay, and it just naturally goes where it wants to go ... no talking needed if your chemistry is right ...
 
somuchwater said:
Ok, that's perhaps not the best thread title. But...

Here are the things I understand:

1. People feeling an attraction to each other.
2. How people meet someone new and feel a connection.
3. How a feeling of attraction can grow over an evening.
4. How a feeling or booze or drugs can put you in unexpected situations.
5. How life is weird and complicated and unpredictable.
6. And obviously, the mechanics of sex itself (though by no means well).

I get all this.

Here's what I don't understand:

1. What exactly happens in between meeting someone at a bar and having sex with them?
2. What exactly do people say that goes from questions about what you do to a living to "hey do you want to come to my place?" Do people just say that outright?
3. What about if you're at your or her/his place and you're just chilling - how do you go from watching a movie to touching each other? What do real people do instead of the sitcom cliche of "the yawn and stretch"?

What I am actually asking is: can you explain what happens in the space between just talking to someone and you both acknowledging that you're about to sleep together? It just makes no sense to me - do people just say stuff directly? Or do they talk around it?
Click to expand...

1)You both give eachother DTF vibes via flirtation and touching.
2)If its a casual hookup, generally number 1 starts relatively soon into the conversation, as both parties are probably at the very least a bit buzzed.
3)It just happens, you sense that feeling in the air, whether it be from the closeness of both parties cuddling together on the couch, or the soft way in which both parties begin to talk to eachother, or even just the way both parties look at eachother. You get that DTF vibe, baby.
 
Chemistry, body language, subtle touches back and forth, there's a number of things direct and indirect. And I can't resist, sorry:

wSvoup5.gif
 
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