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How do you deal with racism?

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Psyclone

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I know that this is a strange topic to bring up, but how do you deal with racism? I am refering to all degrees of it: from violence down to underhand comments. This is not narrowed down to comments/actions directed at you, but also to people in your circle of friends or randoms in your vicinity.

Please share examples if you have any. I would also be interested in where you have had to deal with it and what your ethnic background is (eg. Chinese heritage/background living in San Francisco).
 
One of my friends recently said something about thuggish black guys being in a certain area. I called him out on it, he got kinda embarrassed and apologised when he realised what he said was racist. That's how I know he's a good guy, he didn't double down on some devil's advocate shit.

So yeah, call it out.
 
By not playing along. I look and treat all people as equal, and that's really all I can do. All change starts within as they say.

Some people can't be reasoned with, and I don't know what to do with them.
 
I try to correct people in situations where I think my word has a beneficial effect. It's where I differ from people I know who make a big deal out of every single instance, like a friend of mine who blows up every time someone on Dota uses an epithet toward black people.

People in those situations often want you to get angry, they want to push your buttons. I don't think it helps (rather it probably hurts) to give these tools exactly what they want, it just shows them that racism gets the results they're after.

My close friends are all good people, I don't know anyone personally who would make offhand racist comments.
 
Slowly got apathetic to it sadly.

Ain't nothin better than going to Niagara with a couple friends and getting drive by nigger'd after taking about 3 steps out the car.
 
I get pissed and then vent when I get home, I've seen it too often where people confront those with racist attitudes and only escalate the situation, you can't reason with stupid.
 
Depends on circumstances.

At work, I have to uphold Equal Opportunity laws, so it's safe to call out racist douchebags, since I'm HR.

In personal life, .... yeah, more difficult. But I've been fortunate that most of the comments I've experienced had come from 'good intentions'. I'm Asian Australian, so, there were a few unfortunate occasions where a few people had assumed certain traits about me that turned out to be quite wrong.

Example, a dude came up to me and told me that I am beautiful for an Asian. He meant, that he liked that I'm petite. I didn't even smile, though. I just.... yeah, couldn't.

Another example, one of my friends have this habit of reminding me what words meant colloquially (e.g. Sheila is girl, arvo is afternoon, etc.) even though he had done so a million times before. We'd be hanging out and then he'd say "Can't this arvo! Tomorrow's good though!" then he'd paused and turned around to me and said, "We say arvos for afternoon in Australia." And this is after we've known each other for a decade.

He's an okay dude, but his habit makes me feel that he probably would never think that I'm an Australian deep inside.

So, yeah, tl;dr depends on the context.
 
Angelus Errare said:
Nowadays, I laugh and realize I'm better than them literally, figuratively and financially.
Click to expand...

Yeah but you gotta admit, having to "prove" yourself, not to the frothing at the mouth racists, but instead to people that don't consider themselves racists, (i.e. the purse clutchers, the walk on the other side of the streeters, the elevator backer uppers, the "oh you speak so wellers", the try and speak to you with certain terminology-ers, etc.) becomes extremely exhausting to deal with on a regular basis.

God I hate that shit.
 
YesNOnoNOYes said:
Depends on circumstances.

At work, I have to uphold Equal Opportunity laws, so it's safe to call out racist douchebags, since I'm HR.
Click to expand...

What if your direct manager denounces underhand comments as something that is normal to that part of the country/town? Would you get a union involved? Take it to the top of the hierarchy?
 
People are assholes, I try not to take it to heart. I usually am not affected by racially charged jokes, but people sometimes say legitimately racist things (whether intentional or unintentional due to ignorance) and that makes me pause for a second; but my apathy is growing.
 
I've never faced any overt racism. Years ago, a friend of mine was doing a funny little skit where he just kept dropping n-bombs. It's wasn't really offensive in its use but I could feel people's eyes on me as he did it. Later on we had a conversation that went something like:

Hey, stop saying nigger around me
But I don't mean it in an offensive way
Yea but I don't wanna hear it out of your mouth

We haven't had that issue since. I only call shit out when is getting out of hand which rare. Hard for me to sweat the small stuff in general.
 
Completely remove them from my life. It's poison. Won't talk to my ex again after she went on a rant about Muslims last week. And pretty much told a lad I've known for a year to avoid me, because of his casual racism which he thinks is funny, finally had enough of his shit.


Some people talk too much and listen little. They can't be helped, and they invite suffering.
 
I've found that my favorite way to deal with it is to laugh/mock the person. Nothing feels better then to make their words feel like they have no weight. And sadly, being an ex-retail worker; I've done a lot of laughing.

Just to put some perspective on how ridiculous it used to be; I was once called a Nigger for charging someone sales tax.. no joke, lol.
 
I tend to look at racism, insensitivity, drug abuse, general assholishness, etc. as people just lacking education. I pity it mostly, they don't deserve the rises out of people they seek.

If you know them personally, dissociate or distance yourself.
 
Psyclone said:
What if your direct manager denounces underhand comments as something that is normal to that part of the country/town? Would you get a union involved? Take it to the top of the hierarchy?
Click to expand...
Again, depends on the circumstances. I don't have a personal experience that would match your proposed hypothetical situation, but there were a few close ones. Thankfully, I was able to initiate meetings that involve witnesses where the managers were made to check on their errors. It's amazing what people would behave like in formal meetings where there are impartial third party watching and taking notes.

Like a gaffer says above, sometimes it's a matter of educating people what behavior is acceptable, specially at the workplace.
 
YesNOnoNOYes said:
Example, a dude came up to me and told me that I am beautiful for an Asian. He meant, that he liked that I'm petite. I didn't even smile, though. I just.... yeah, couldn't.

Another example, one of my friends have this habit of reminding me what words meant colloquially (e.g. Sheila is girl, arvo is afternoon, etc.) even though he had done so a million times before. We'd be hanging out and then he'd say "Can't this arvo! Tomorrow's good though!" then he'd paused and turned around to me and said, "We say arvos for afternoon in Australia." And this is after we've known each other for a decade.

He's an okay dude, but his habit makes me feel that he probably would never think that I'm an Australian deep inside.

So, yeah, tl;dr depends on the context.
Click to expand...
Both of these examples make me cringe but I'm stunned by your friend "translating" for you after 10 years. That's just... crazy. What do you say?
 
If I know them and consider them friends, I will do my best to address the issue. If I don't know them and can't properly gauge how deep the stupidity goes, I just leave it alone and pity their lack of development privately.
 
The "we need immigration" argument usually succeeds at making people shut up.

I'm half asian and I live near Paris, but as you might see on my avatar I just look white, so I'm not a victim of racism (and asians are generally liked there) but a lot of people are racist around me (starting with the parents and the in-laws, and a few people I discuss online with). So when the subject comes up I just try to master it more than they do (which isn't hard).

I don't call people out on being racist. My girlfriend does, but the answer is always "no I'm not but blah blah blah", it never works.
 
I usually give a pretty firm anti-racism opinion when casual racism comes up anywhere including work. It's tough and you'll most certainly gain some negative attention, but there are no other ways to live for me. I can not tolerate it anywhere.
 
I'd disapprove and try to educate in a non-aggressive way, but...

YesNOnoNOYes said:
Another example, one of my friends have this habit of reminding me what words meant colloquially (e.g. Sheila is girl, arvo is afternoon, etc.) even though he had done so a million times before. We'd be hanging out and then he'd say "Can't this arvo! Tomorrow's good though!" then he'd paused and turned around to me and said, "We say arvos for afternoon in Australia." And this is after we've known each other for a decade.

He's an okay dude, but his habit makes me feel that he probably would never think that I'm an Australian deep inside.
Click to expand...

.. this would probably make me flip out at some point. lol
 
I don't see all that much outright racist hate, and if I do it'll be a stranger and I'll just walk away.

Subtle/casual shit though? It could come from classmates, coworkers, people in my friends group, etc. I'll call them out on the spot, if they own up to it, apologize, and learn from it, its all good. If they try to defend themselves and deflect it, well good bye its been nice knowing you have fun with life not really go fuck off.

Though I do admit there's always situations where you can't do that, and it sucks not being to do anything but you gotta just keep moving.
 
I'm white (and in Canada) so I don't have many contact points with racism towards myself. And in my 3 decades of life, no, other white people don't confide racist thoughts with me.

Recently I was in a small town. Most people were incredibly good about the surprisingly ample immigrant population (oil boom). But twice it happened where a bunch of lowlifes confided at my work that "thank god I wasn't a (racial slur)". It was their joke. A disgusting joke.

Note that this is the first time I've heard attitudes like this in years upon years in this country. And note that both of them appeared as human garbage. They looked like ugly hillbilly trash, and their words were hillbilly trash. You wouldn't be surprised to hear such ugly words coming out of such ugly people (and I don't just mean their appearance, per se, but they clearly lived horrible lifestyles and it showed).

I guess the way I reacted, me being so innocent to such attitudes, was to uncomfortably smile and give a fake chuckle, while inside I was thinking "you disgusting pigs, at every moment I will weasel out of ever talking with you again..."
 
someday said:
Both of these examples make me cringe but I'm stunned by your friend "translating" for you after 10 years. That's just... crazy. What do you say?
Click to expand...

He's not a bad guy, I mean, in general. Like, he's quite helpful and good-natured, but yeah... I don't know, I mean I've told him again and again and again when he does it, that "I KNOW ALREADY". He'd just nod and smile and says, "Yeah, sure." or "Cool." But then he does it again...... asljhdaksjdagdasd???? Oh well. I got used to him by now :x

suzu said:
I'd disapprove and try to educate in a non-aggressive way, but...

.. this would probably make me flip out at some point. lol
Click to expand...

haha yeaaaaaaah... it's really something that bother me sometimes, but then... yeah, i guess i just let it go cuz overall he's a pretty decent friend. but yea, trust me, i've gotten close a few times .___.
 
I face a lot of people around me who say stuff like "gay" and "faggot" as derogatory terms. I try to call them out and ask them why they feel it's neccessary.

These people aren't homophobic or have any problem with gay people, and thus feel they should be able to use those words as a way to prove it somehow. People have started to adapt though, it was much more common five years ago.
 
i deal with it pretty often. I see racism as a mental illness that people suffer with, filling the void in their lives where love and understanding should have been. I'll get angry but ultimately i'll pity the racist because it's his mental sickness rather than anything I've done. Had to say a few words to a few members about it in the football thread last week after a couple of members thought it would be alright to generalise about my ethnic group for jokes.

I try to call it out when i experience it but usually you find cognitive dissonance where people think they haven't done anything wrong or that they were "lol just joking." Hassle.

The worst i had to deal with was the night of England's 5-1 over Germany. I was trying to make my way home from the local town and all i could hear for 5 minutes were people screaming "I'd rather be a Paki than a Turk." A couple of Leeds fans had been stabbed the year previous in Istanbul which led to the chant. Got harassed by a few drunks on the way, but managed to avoid getting my head smashed in.
 
Racism permeates everything around me. It's in my relatives, it's in my friends, it's in my colleagues, it's in my workplace, it's in my former university, it's in my neighbourhood, it's in the media, it's in the city, it's in politics (oh boy is it ever) and it permeates the entire society.

I try to show my disdain for active and passive and casual racism by my friends and especially some of my family, but sometimes less empathic friends and acquaintances react very defensively. I vote politically for parties against racism and I try to hire and suggest people who belong to a marginalized minority group. I also try to show people who face discrimination extra care, understanding and leeway in their behavior and values. I attend protests and I try to support local endeavours that strive to lessen inequalities between people with different skin colors and/or cultures. Finally I would love to work with topics where I can provide or contribute support/platforms for people who have a marginalized and lesser voice in the society I live in.

But holy shit combating racism can be a huge energy and mood drain for me. And when I feel drained and ostracised for trying to speak up, I then become ashamed because this is what people of color face every single day throughout their entire lives and here I am as a White person getting depressed from my "selective" struggle. It makes me feel bad to have such a sentiment.
 
By not letting it phase me or nurturing my energy, time and attention towards it. By trying to live as an example rather than talk. By being the sexy-ass conscious self that I am and spreading that love equally in all directions.
 
If I know them?
Tell them to stop that shit that instant.

Co-workers?
Tell them to stop. If it escalates, get a supervisor.

People I don't know?
It depends.

My latest run-in with racism was at the optometrist office at Walmart. I needed cheap glasses, so I went with my mum and my GF. As soon as I started speaking Spanish, the employee assumed that I was a Mexican and wanted to call the clinic where I got my prescription from before even asking for my name, as she thought it was fake.
I let loose, calling her out on her bullshit assumptions until I just got tired of yelling at her.

Not my greatest moment, but fuck.
Don't be blatantly racist and expect me to not care.
 
I had a customer two days ago who interrupted me while helping another customer with some directions in the train station I work in.

I asked her nicely too not do that after I was done helping and then she answered "Oh yeah she was one of your kind/one of 'yours'"

Bitch hurt my feelings lol. I got mad and yelled at her to leave the store.

There is always the occasional drunk who'd throw racist slurs at you and I'm kind off indifferent to that. The thing that bothers me most though is the person who says racist stuff in a clear state of mind.

Edit : I'm Arab and Muslim, customer I was helping with directions was a women wearing hijab.
 
I try to ignore it. I find people are less direct about it and it's harder to call people out on their bullshit.
 
YesNOnoNOYes said:
He's not a bad guy, I mean, in general. Like, he's quite helpful and good-natured, but yeah... I don't know, I mean I've told him again and again and again when he does it, that "I KNOW ALREADY". He'd just nod and smile and says, "Yeah, sure." or "Cool." But then he does it again...... asljhdaksjdagdasd???? Oh well. I got used to him by now :x



haha yeaaaaaaah... it's really something that bother me sometimes, but then... yeah, i guess i just let it go cuz overall he's a pretty decent friend. but yea, trust me, i've gotten close a few times .___.
Click to expand...
Lol, this is the kind of racism that makes me laugh at its weirdness. I actually has a co-worker tell me and my boss that we were "good black people." She really thought that was a compliment. I can get upset thinking about it but at the time it took everything we had not to just die laughing. She was so oblivious.
 
It seems as if anti-racists are often just as stubborn as racists themselves.
Calling someone out who is obviously racist and starting a verbal fight is definitely the wrong way to handle things and will only result in a negative outcome.


Where i live racism is a tricky topic. Native Austrians are often careful when it comes to foreigners, and bad reputation sticks to them here.
While many are extremely careful due to what happened during WW2, others are more easy to openly state their opinion when it comes to immigrants.
It is very hard to stay un-biased when you are surrounded by racist talk, but i try to keep a low profile.
 
devious.one said:
I've found that my favorite way to deal with it is to laugh/mock the person. Nothing feels better then to make their words feel like they have no weight. And sadly, being an ex-retail worker; I've done a lot of laughing.
Click to expand...

This. I used to get really touchy about racism until I realized that was exactly the reaction people wanted from me. Trying to convince people to see the error of their ways in public is a waste of time. Instead, just laugh it off, don't show an ounce of insecurity, wisecrack on the other guy to make them look stupid. Since I've realized this, these sort of situations have always gone much better for me then when I used to get outright angry. It shows you have the character and self-assurance to not let random remarks bother you, and most people will let up on the casual racism after that.
 
I used to rage when I'd hear anyone refer to me as white trash, but things like honkey and cracker make me laugh.

In my part of the world we are very diverse so fortunately racism isn't a massive problem. I feel extremely lucky to grow up in an area of large indo-canadian/asian/native populations. My whole life (with the exception of exceptions) I can say for myself and people I grew up with, racism is not an daily experience*.

*I do need to say there are still massive open wounds in Canada regarding 1st nations that need real attention. The racism between the 1st nations and rest of Canada (not just whites) runs deep. I married a beautiful native woman and the thing's I see are shocking. I am shocked at how accepting of racism agaist native people is at times. People will say shit to me not knowing my wife, kids, best friends and people who raised me are native. On the flip side I also had to fist fight every single day as a kid/teenager for being white in a 1st nations neighbourhood. And holy fuck the fights I got into when I started dating my wife, because I was a "white man that stole their hot woman", like she was their possession or some shit.
My wife had it no better mind you, she was constantly insulted when people would say she was a "race traitor" and because she was pretty she felt she's better than other "indians" and that she's "too hot to date an indian man".

Anyway I could go on, but I think I've lost my point.
 
Lamel said:
People are assholes, I try not to take it to heart. I usually am not affected by racially charged jokes, but people sometimes say legitimately racist things (whether intentional or unintentional due to ignorance) and that makes me pause for a second; but my apathy is growing.
Click to expand...

Basically. Or, I laugh, because I think if you really have to look at the color of my skin at all to make judgements, you're just the worst kind of person.
 
Angelus Errare said:
Nowadays, I laugh and realize I'm better than them literally, figuratively and financially.
Click to expand...
Same here. I can't even get mad and let them ruin my day with the stupid shit they believe and feel. Now if it's degrading someone and verbally attacking them that's another story. I'll deff get in the middle of it.
 
YesNOnoNOYes said:
Another example, one of my friends have this habit of reminding me what words meant colloquially (e.g. Sheila is girl, arvo is afternoon, etc.) even though he had done so a million times before. We'd be hanging out and then he'd say "Can't this arvo! Tomorrow's good though!" then he'd paused and turned around to me and said, "We say arvos for afternoon in Australia." And this is after we've known each other for a decade.

He's an okay dude, but his habit makes me feel that he probably would never think that I'm an Australian deep inside. .
Click to expand...
Speaking as another Asian Australian, you'd probably want to call him a cunt at that point and see if that works out or not.
 
I have only faced racism once and it was during a job interview and I was shadowing a guy selling crap to an old lady and she noted me and the guy said "oh don't worry about him he doesn't speak any English."

I just left, the guy was a slimly snake.
 
My former best friend was pretty racist as he used racist terms quite a lot but "Didn't mean it" whenever I called him out on it. I cut him off for the racism and a few other reasons.
 
I call them out, be it towards me or my country, or others'. I just can't fucking stand ignorance. One day I had to literally lift this skinny American guy from his place and throw him out of the door, he was loud, ignorant and spitting offensive shit about the English in a public place in fucking London for a good 40 minutes. Enough is enough. I'm quite large, so that was quick, and he was lucky he didn't get a more serious lesson
 
I call it out when I am at least fairly certain that what is happening is a case of racism. I try not to assume it without evidence or at least solid reasoning. It is easy to let myself think every other bad thing that happens due to racism. I tend to try and not show much disapproval at first because I want the person to actually do themself in. Whenever you immediately call out somebody as a racist, they'll make an excuse. So it's best to wait for them to really put their foot in their mouth first.
 
I get angry at racists and call them out if I think they can be reasoned with. If not, I just ignore them until they move on to another subject, because they're wasting my fucking time with that nonsense. I live in Missouri, and I honestly can't stand the goddamn racism/Confederate flag-loving type of attitudes that ooze out of every slimy corner of this place.
 
tumblr_mic7orp04E1r7ajimo1_400.gif


If I went around confronting racism, I would literally do nothing but that all day.
 
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