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How do you develop self-discipline?

clem84

Gold Member
I'm 45 and I've always found it really hard to do what I should do every day. I take shortcuts, I procrastinate, I always take the easy way out. And yes I end up suffering as a result. It seems to me that self discipline is something that needs to be drilled into somebody during their young years when they're developing into an adult. If this has not been done during that window of opportunity, it's very difficult to bounce back from it.

My dad left the home when I was 14. My mom wanted the best for me but she wasn't the kind of person to give me a good kick in the butt when I needed one. It took everything for me to finish high school and I got halfway through my college degree before dropping out. What saved my ass is that I got a government job with a union, so the pay and the benefits are good. My life has pretty much always been a mess, in one way or another. If I could only do what I know I should do every day, things would be tons better but tackling each day has always been a struggle.

I found this which gave me some pointers but it just seems like it wouldn't have lasting power. These tricks would work for a while but eventually I would slip back into my old ways.


1. Know your weaknesses.
2. Remove temptations.
3. Set clear goals and have an execution plan.
4. Build your self-discipline.
5. Create new habits by keeping it simple.
6. Eat often and healthy.
7. Change your perception about willpower.
8. Give yourself a backup plan.
9. Reward yourself.

10. Forgive yourself and move forward.

How do you do it?
How do you get through tough days when motivation has abandoned you?
How do you stay focused when life throws many curve balls at you at the same time?
 
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S

SLoWMoTIoN

Unconfirmed Member
Either do it or don't. Just don't stress about it.
DownrightWaryBasil-size_restricted.gif
 

greyshark

Member
It’s never too late to improve yourself. I wouldn’t try to solve all of my problems at once - just pick a small milestone that is a reasonable goal and build a plan to make it happen. Then build off your small wins slowly over time.

A quick example from my life - I struggled with going to the gym, and at one point I had enough of my excuses and got a workout partner. Having someone else hold me accountable helped build a workout routine and I ended up much healthier for it.
 

clem84

Gold Member
'it's easy to find something worth dying for.

do you have anything worth living for?'
I try to concentrate on my goals. Sometimes everything is clear, so is what I should do. On some days it's like nothing has any importance. It's difficult to stay consistent.

This helped me for a while, but only because that guy scares me. lol



Don't even bother at this point.
:messenger_grinning_sweat: Really tempting to go this way sometimes.
 
Dan Schawbel: What is the connection between discipline and freedom? How does this build off your previous book, Extreme Ownership?

Jocko Willink: While Discipline and Freedom seem like they sit on opposite sides of the spectrum, they are actually very connected. Freedom is what everyone wants — to be able to act and live with freedom. But the only way to get to a place of freedom is through discipline. If you want financial freedom, you have to have financial discipline. If you want more free time, you have to follow a more disciplined time management system. You also have to have the discipline to say “No” to things that eat up your time with no payback—things like random YouTube videos, click-bait on the internet, and even events that you agree to attend when you know you won't want to be there. Discipline equals freedom applies to every aspect of life: if you want more freedom, get more discipline.

Brb, gonna grab some discipline.
 
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MaestroMike

Gold Member
"An army marches on its stomach" - Napoleon

Just food/diet. Number 6 on the list is numero uno. Takes a lot of energy and nutrients to burn that energy and antioxidants to heal urself to get sh!t done. If u don't have the fuel, u won't be able to do shat. Ur body is a just a vehicle for ur brain.
 
If you really want to make a change, you'll do it. If not, it's just all talk. "I really need to get in shape" "I shouldn't be so frivolous with money" etc... Saying you need to change doesn't do anything, actually doing it does.

Fun fact, I've been asked by a few people if I was in the military or went to military school because of my discipline and how scheduled I am. I never did either, I developed all my habits by following through with what I set out to do. It's really not that difficult and you'll feel pretty good when you start accomplishing what you want to do.
 
I try not to pressure myself too much on discipline. I set goals, but give myself broad deadlines and conditions whenever it's possible. At the end of the day, be proud of yourself for the little things and don't punish yourself for the shortcomings. Keep the goal in mind. Be your friend, not your boss.

That doesn't mean you should slack away at life. Keep moving, keep going. Just try not to overdo it or you'll end up feeling like shit and it's all down the mountain again.
 

Tesseract

Banned
just keep doing good things, take little steps forward, build positive momentum with each good decision

if you cannot run, walk, crawl, even claw your way forward

@OP

what do you want?
 

ammodotcom

Neo Member
Don't think about it. Just do the thing. -- It sounds like a stupid slogan but it's the best advice I've ever received on the subject.

The last half of this is really good. Your brain is often, in a literal sense, your enemy.

 
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as clem84 clem84 mentioned, Jocko is your go to.

I'm not going to recommend which of Jockos videos, instead, go through them and watch the ones with the titles that catch your eye. You know what youre not doing and need to do.


The best thing I can recommend to stop doing right now is thinking that youve reached some arbitrary time limit for change. Even just drinking less soda or beer by one bottle today and two next week is progress, a small change, but it will show you that you can do it.

Do the small things to learn you can make progress and the motivation will just happen.
 

jufonuk

not tag worthy
The dude's 45 years old.

Just be glad you had a full-time job at the very least instead of being homeless.

IF your life isn't the same as Kojima's then you failed.
By this logic you failed then ?

OP small steps add up to big changes. Just be the best you that you can be. Stuff all the Instagram my life is perfect bullshit. Make a change, try. If you slip up. Get back on it. Don’t beat yourself up for trying. Break it down.
 
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Airola

Member
1. Know your weaknesses.


Ok, done.

2. Remove temptations.


Meh, I'm good.

3. Set clear goals and have an execution plan.
4. Build your self-discipline.
5. Create new habits by keeping it simple.
6. Eat often and healthy.
7. Change your perception about willpower.
8. Give yourself a backup plan.
9. Reward yourself.

10. Forgive yourself and move forward.

Failed already at point 2 so I guess that's that.
 
How much do you want it?
There are winners and losers. The winners don't stop, even in failure.

Some of the most inspirational movie advice to be given:

You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!
 
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Karma Jawa

Member
Perseverance and repetition.

The more you persevere the more you repeat the steps. The more you repeat, the more natural it becomes. Just accept that it won’t come naturally at first, but through repetition it will start to feel natural.
 

entremet

Member
All about habits and environment. This has been studied.

When people think of paragons of discipline they may think of athletes. But check out top athletes, they all have crazy support systems, coaches, facilities, nutrition, and so on. Your environment matters.

 
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Make a goal of one of the following,


Strict diet
Exercise x days a week (3 is a minimum)


If it's diet get myfitness pal and download the app and start logging what you eat. Otherwise tell me more about your problems. Also, when you try to do anything hard, know their are days you will mess it up. The key is getting back on schedule and continuing to try. Over a long period of time it gets easier until at some point it becomes routine.
 

clem84

Gold Member
Thanks for all the replies! I have some ideas but I just wanted to get some basic tips. It always helps to get someone else's perspective. It can sometimes make you realize simple things you never would have thought of yourself.

just keep doing good things, take little steps forward, build positive momentum with each good decision

if you cannot run, walk, crawl, even claw your way forward

@OP

what do you want?
I don't have any earth shattering dreams, I just want to become a bit more disciplined and stop doing destructive things. I want to make my own game. I want to learn another language. I know I have what it takes to achieve those two things but I just need the discipline to work on them on a consistent basis. I also eat way too much junk food and at 45, I'm really feeling the negative effects. I just want a bit more order in my life.

The way I see it, and most likely this has been my problem all along, when I set my goals and I figure out exactly what I want to do and how to do it, I, a bit naively I guess, expect that this sense of purpose will last forever. It never does. My goals and my reasons for doing them, are things that I should be reminded of on a daily basis, or at least on a pretty regular basis. Or else I just get caught up with daily life and I kinda forget what I really want. That's my plan right. I'll set clear goals and remind myself of them on a regular basis. Oh and watch the Jocko podcast. :messenger_grinning_smiling:

How much do you want it?
That's the question that will get me through everything.
 

highrider

Banned
Discipline is stacking little wins, in a routine that you stick to and never bitch out of. The time you wake up, your work ethic, exercise, cleanliness, grooming, conduct, diet... it’s all connected.

How do you get it? You emulate people who best reflect the qualities you aspire to in your own life. Live simply. Get rid of superfluous things mental and physical. It’s a daily process that took me a long time to master.
 
Discipline to me is doing something even when you don't want to do it. If you can get over that hump, it'll help you form the habits that you want.

Like I'll start a diet and it'll be love at first sight. Discipline doesn't set in until that day I get off at 8pm, don't have any food at home, and fast food starts sounding really good. But I ignore the urges, still go to the store, come home and cook. Then I learn from that to not put myself in that position again. Sometimes I fail, but you know how it goes.
 
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autoduelist

Member
Screw big lists. Start small.

Every weekday morning, do 3 sets of max pushups. Start with on your knees if you must. Value form over speed and quantity.

Do this. As you build strength, and build self discipline and self worth into your daily pattern, you will begin to naturally seek out other failings and correct them. Your body and mind will force you to align your other habits. You will want to alter your diet, you will want to start challenging yourself to dips, pullups, etc. [If you add pullups to your regiment, I recommend the Armstrong program].

Seriously, though - open challenge to anyone who feels like they are flailing about. Do 3 max sets of pushups every day and report back in 1 month, and 2 months as to your state of mind.

[And clean yer room]
 
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