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How do you eat an Orange?

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Just know that the first five times you attempted it, whoever was in the room with you watching you struggle your way through the process thought you were a fucking alien.
 
Just know that the first five times you attempted it, whoever was in the room with you watching you struggle your way through the process thought you were a fucking alien.
Best thing about this thread has been you popping in every few minutes to show how angered you are by the threads existence.

Keep it up!
 
Put the whole thing in your mouth without peeling and swallow.

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First things first, you throw that shit in the fridge, and let it chill for an hour or so. THEN you peel and consume. Chilled oranges are like an orgasm for the soul, not just the body, trust me on this.

For me this applies to most fruit. Mmmmm... Chilled fruit...
 
Best thing about this thread has been you popping in every few minutes to show how angered you are by the threads existence.

Keep it up!
Do I sound angry in my posts? Sorry if that's how it came across, I was going for more astonished/bemused.

To be fair, you started a thread asking how to eat an orange.
 
The easiest way is to just cut it in fourths and eat it.

Peeling it is easy too but takes longer and can be messier.
 
Make one cut along the side, work your thumb in between the fruit and the skin and just peel it off it pieces.

Victory.
 
Cut it into quarters and eat them so that you're left with the peel in your mouth like a boxers mouth guard.
 
How do you not know how to eat an orange. How have you reached 22 without having eaten an orange properly. How have you only had 5 in your life?

New question: have you ever eaten a peach? A plum?

An apple?
 
ProTip: Roll the hell out of it first before you peel it. It separates the peel from the flesh and makes it super easy to get off. When the entire outside feels swollen, you're ready to peel.

ProTip 2: Use your upper front teeth to make the initial puncture. Stop wasting knives.
 
I hate all of you. This isn't up for debate. It's a simple process. Peel. Eat.

Peel. Eat.
 
The hell are people even talking about in here? Sucking them dry? Just peel it and eat the damn orange. Are you throwing out tiny, dried up slices of fruit? I've seriously never heard of this.
 
I peel the outer skin and then peel the inner skin. Any other way is uncivilized.
 
Cuties/Halos are a brand name of mandarin oranges.

Yep and they are pretty good. I just use that brand name because you know they will be seedless, since most do not want to deal with those. Toss-up whether they will have seeds even if they say they won't without the Cuties/Halo brand.
 

SMITHERS
Mr. Simpson, are you listening? Simpson!
HOMER
Huh? Oh yeah, I was listening. Very funny.
MOE
Oh, you were not! You were just eating a damn orange!
HOMER
Yes, to the untrained eye, I'm eating an orange. But to the eye that has brains, I'm making a point about marriage. For you see, marriage is a lot like an orange. First, you have the skin. Then the sweet, sweet innards. Mmm...

Homer devours the orange.

APU
I don't understand.
WILLY
If I wanted to see a man eat an orange, I would have taken the orange-eating class!

Cut to another classroom. Hans Moleman is the teacher.

HANS MOLEMAN
The eating of an orange is a lot like a good marriage.
ABE SIMPSON
Just eat the damn oranges!
 
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