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[akira28]

Dont people pee when they poop? Oh god am I weird?

wut.

what is the matter with you? Or mores specifically what is wrong with your urethra and prostate?

You might possibly be the weirdest.

 

[.GqueB.]

...I don't

 

[AlexMogil]

I grew my dick shorter to solve this very problem.

 

[FallingEdge]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHwkD5QrVDI

 

[JayDub]

Heh, this thread makes me want to make another one:

"How do you take a dump when you're.....you know (?)"

-let it touch the toilet bowl?
-mash it and let it touch the water? (yuck!)
-hover and mash (lol)?

 

[AnathemicOne]

Who's making the banner?

All I know is that we need this GIF

 

[Chuckl3s]

 

[Mammoth Jones]

I sit further back. I am paranoid for the rest of my life about this after I got my sisters menstrual blood on my dick this way.

Never. Again.

 

[BigDug13]

One of them said "the water's cold." The other one said "and it's deep, too." I believe one of them fellers was from Arkansas. Get it?

 

[AnathemicOne]

I sit further back. I am paranoid for the rest of my life about this after I got my sisters menstrual blood on my dick this way.

Never. Again.

That's harsh man...

 

[Row]

just stick the tip in your belly button, the lint will hold it in place

 

[MIMIC]

I sit further back. I am paranoid for the rest of my life about this after I got my sisters menstrual blood on my dick this way.

Never. Again.

You need a disclaimer for this post >_<

 

[Thai]

You need a toilet made for guys:

But this has always made me wonder, how do really fat guys pee while sitting on the shitter?

 

[Omegasquash]

I sit further back. I am paranoid for the rest of my life about this after I got my sisters menstrual blood on my dick this way.

Never. Again.

Oh Jesus Christ. Now I'll never want to use a toilet that a woman uses ever again. Thanks...now I'll just shit in the basement for eternity.

 

[I_D]

EDITED

 

[ShinAmano]

Other problem with the tuck method is getting it in the water...it is a bad situation all around.

 

[Bulbo Urethral Baggins]

I purposely rest mine on the seat to give the guy a little break and a place to rest his head.

 

[AKingNamedPaul]

Gaf you crack me the f up

 

[JohnDoe]

Why not an entire Shit forum?

Yeah. Let's call it NeoGAF

 

[Quick]

Yeah. Let's call it NeoGAF

PlopGAF

 

[starchild excalibur]

What the hell? I'm pretty average in size, and i have to constantly hold my penis down so that it wont touch the toilet bowl.

I cant imagine every guy doing what I do. There must be some unspoken secret. GAF, spill.

I thought I was the only one. :|

And my dick isn't incredibly huge either.

Spoiler

only magnificently huge

 

[phosphor112]

You must either sit on the edge of the seat or have a gigantic dick.

Some toilets are smaller.

Also, to OP. I hold mine down. I flip out if it touches the toilet.

 

[Why would you do that?]

It's useful to know if you're a grower or show-er. I never encountered that problem...

 

[The Elite]

I have this problem too. Noticing that most guys don't makes me feel really good for some reason.

 

[phosphor112]

Wow, this thread is a gold mine.

 

[Gordon Shumway]

Certain toilets are a lot smaller/circular/don't allow room for the wang to breath (average wang). I fucking hate those toilets

Curse those tiny things!!!

 

[smr00]

This thread makes me feel like i have a small peter.

 

[Poyunch]

Dude, that's a minor issue. How do you guys keep it from touching the floor? It's embarrassing when people look under the door in the stalls.

 

[phosphor112]

Dude, that's a minor issue. How do you guys keep it from touching the floor? It's embarrassing when people look under the door in the stalls.

Why are you peeing on the floor?

This thread makes me feel like i have a small peter.

Don't, there are some small ass toilets. Someone posted an example above. Oval vs round toilets.

 

[Poyunch]

Why are you peeing on the floor?

Isn't that why there's a drain on the floor?

 

[Gordon Shumway]

Isn't that why there's a drain on the floor?

lol

 

[weepy]

I hate when this happens when I pee in urinals.

How the...how tall are you?

 

[Malvolio]

I put up a "No Touching" sign. Luckily my penis can read.

 

[akira28]

I thought I was the only one. :|

I think 'startling' is a nice adjective.

 

[Dark Octave]

or put down some paper towels or something and rest your wang on that. But seriously, put it against your abdomen and your tshirt will keep it in place, no more cold and wet willies.


standing up before you sit down, if you know you have to pee? Or I guess you can try to pilot it, if you can avoid peeing into your own asshole.

lol WTF.

 

[YoungHav]

I put it over my shoulder.

 

[JohnDoe]

I'm a total grower so I never have this problem. Taking a dump with a hard on sucks though

 

[Row]

wut.

what is the matter with you? Or mores specifically what is wrong with your urethra and prostate?

You might possibly be the weirdest.

don't listen to him jaydub, we're normal, really

 

[Kinitari]

It's not easy but you figure it out. Either I use my hand for guidance or I use my thighs to keep stuff where it's supposed to be.

 

[Pocks]

This is the bane of my existence, but I've found a solution.

Instead of taking your pants/underwear down to your ankles, try leaving them up just past the knee so that they cover the rim of the toilet. It will prevent touching the rim, but it opens up the risk stir-sticking it in cold toilet water, which is arguably worse.

 

[Az987]

Fuck dude, I get this too.

I was dating someone and her toilet was higher in the front and my dick just sat on the fucking toilet. It was gross. I told her and she said hold your dick while you go and I said but I pee afterwards involuntarily.

 

[Seanspeed]

At home, I kinda just deal with it. Keep the toilet clean as much as possible.

Elsewhere I sit back as far as I can and keep my hand down there bending it kinda backwards-like.

 

[Hung Wei Lo]

I don't know if it's thread-worthy, but to change things up a little - Peeing in a urinal: open the barn door and let the horse out, or just unzip?

 

[Rentahamster]

Have someone hold it

My favorite answer of this thread.

 

[Aselith]

I HAVE A LARGE PENIS

 

[AceOcelot]

I purposely rest mine on the seat to give the guy a little break and a place to rest his head.

oh my god... hahaha

 

[Buddha Beam]

I take a little square of toilet paper and put it on the rim. I only have to do this with public toilets since they almost always have that seat where it splits/doesn't form a complete circle. That way the tip of my dick isn't touching the pubic hair and dry piss-covered bowl of the toilet. Who knows what microscopic little bugs might crawl up my dick hole after some diseased drunk pissed, shat and/or vomited all over the toilet?!

I fuckin' hate public bathrooms.

 

[agrajag]

You need a toilet made for guys:

But this has always made me wonder, how do really fat guys pee while sitting on the shitter?

Well, their penis doesn't grow out of their stomach. They pee just like anyone else.

 

[Flying Toaster]

Fuck dude, I get this too.

I was dating someone and her toilet was higher in the front and my dick just sat on the fucking toilet. It was gross. I told her and she said hold your dick while you go and I said but I pee afterwards involuntarily.

Nothing wrong with giving yourself a golden shower.

 

[Carl]

I hold mine down too. I know how you feel.