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[Nathan_Drake]

I turned it down after completing the challenges. It was a tough call but then I thought what would Batman do. He defeated Ras's challenges to lead the League and then said naaaaaa. I am just here for Talia's booty. I am just hear for the booty.

 

[Madao]

You can't masturbate for 120 days. At the 121th day, you are reborn as a Mod.

if that was true, i'd be the owner of the forum by now.

 

[Murkas]

I've never understood why anyone would want to become a mod, extra work for nothing, reminds me of this pasta.

-he's a janitor
-on the internet
-on an anime image board
-he does it for free
-he takes his "job" very seriously
-he does it because it is the only amount of power & control he will ever have in his pathetic life
-he deletes threads he doesn't like because whenever he gets upset he has an asthma attack
-he deletes threads he doesn't like because they interfere with the large backlog of little girl chinese cartoons he still has to watch
-he will never have a real job
-he will never move out of his parent's house
-he will never be at a healthy weight
-he will never know how to cook anything besides a hot pocket
-he will never have a girlfriend
-he will never have any friends

 

[Fat4all]

I've never understood why anyone would want to become a mod, extra work for nothing, reminds me of this pasta.

-he's a janitor
-on the internet
-on an anime image board
-he does it for free
-he takes his "job" very seriously
-he does it because it is the only amount of power & control he will ever have in his pathetic life
-he deletes threads he doesn't like because whenever he gets upset he has an asthma attack
-he deletes threads he doesn't like because they interfere with the large backlog of little girl chinese cartoons he still has to watch
-he will never have a real job
-he will never move out of his parent's house
-he will never be at a healthy weight
-he will never know how to cook anything besides a hot pocket
-he will never have a girlfriend
-he will never have any friends

but their names r red

 

[themagicalkitsune]

I've never understood why anyone would want to become a mod, extra work for nothing, reminds me of this pasta.

-he's a janitor
-on the internet
-on an anime image board
-he does it for free
-he takes his "job" very seriously
-he does it because it is the only amount of power & control he will ever have in his pathetic life
-he deletes threads he doesn't like because whenever he gets upset he has an asthma attack
-he deletes threads he doesn't like because they interfere with the large backlog of little girl chinese cartoons he still has to watch
-he will never have a real job
-he will never move out of his parent's house
-he will never be at a healthy weight
-he will never know how to cook anything besides a hot pocket
-he will never have a girlfriend
-he will never have any friends

moderators are called janitors?

 

[Hot Coldman]

You ever killed a man? Cool. Now do it again.

 

[Fat4all]

moderators are called janitors?

 

[omnislayer]

At the very least you must be in possession of the Legendary Silver Crystal.
After that it's all up Evilore.

 

[the_batman]

I've never understood why anyone would want to become a mod, extra work for nothing, reminds me of this pasta.

-he's a janitor
-on the internet
-on an anime image board
-he does it for free
-he takes his "job" very seriously
-he does it because it is the only amount of power & control he will ever have in his pathetic life
-he deletes threads he doesn't like because whenever he gets upset he has an asthma attack
-he deletes threads he doesn't like because they interfere with the large backlog of little girl chinese cartoons he still has to watch
-he will never have a real job
-he will never move out of his parent's house
-he will never be at a healthy weight
-he will never know how to cook anything besides a hot pocket
-he will never have a girlfriend
-he will never have any friends

obligatory image

 

[HStallion]

Evil Lore invites you by yourself to a small backroom at the Neogaf offices, closes the door behind you and locks it with a weird little smirk on his face. Then he asks you to sit on a couch with him patting the cushion beside him in a friendly manner. It starts easy and casual with small talk, maybe even a drink from the small minifridge, maybe some Mountain Dew and Vodka or a Flaming Moe. At first its all rather innocent, questions about your background, work method, and eventually leads to question about what you can offer Neogaf, what kind of skills you have that the other mods might "like", if you have a gag reflex. Well one thing leads to another and everyone is in tears and only the strongest/most broken of people make it too mod hood...

That's when EvilLore opens the casting room door and BIsh and all the other mods enter with a jar of peanut butter, a small sand shark, and some clown masks. The party is only getting started.

 

[RoyalLaFlame]

when a man and a woman fall in love

They make little mods. Only one of them succeeds.

 

[SpiritSlayer]

Has there been a mod that has gone mad with power before?

 

[bobawesome]

Has there been a mod that has gone mad with power before?

Amir0x

 

[TsunamiOfSwagger]

moderators are called janitors?

They do have to clean up a lot of shit and take out the rubbish.

 

[bjork]

You have to get banned 5 times without getting perma banned

Is that all? Been there, done that. Red me up, fellas

 

[Lucian Cat]

you have to marry a current mod. neogaf keeps it in the family

I dated one. Are you saying if I stayed with him I'd become a mod automatically? Hot damn I better give him a call.

Spoiler

I don't wanna be a mod. Too much behind the scenes stuff and I'm so so lazy

 

[Chiaroscuro]

if that was true, i'd be the owner of the forum by now.

Clearly you are failing at reading.

 

[Mr Waluigi]

Occult sex rituals involving dead animals

 

[old manatee]

You need to defeat EvilLore with a wooden gun.

 

[RevenWolf]

Well I heard the fastest way to get a spot would be to best Bishtopl in single combat.

Problem is his ban hammer is essentially Mjölnir only several times more powerful, and you get to bring gloves to protect your delicate hands.

The longer way involves several dangerous trials that put yourself, your loved ones, and your beloved gadgets, consoles, and PC's at risk.

This is then followed by the previously mentioned caged bear match, which as previously stated is much less hazardous to your health compared to the quick option.

Or so the legend goes.

 

[hoggert]

okay since no one's taking the OP seriously this is how i became a mod on 7+ internet video game community forums each with a vibrant community:

• make at least 10 threads a day with single sentence ops fully quoting polygon/daily mail/vgcats articles, all thread titles must be as vague as possible and contain unnecessary ellipses plus make sure not to use any punctuation in the op
• use lots of red text
• hide hidden text in every post about your most recent wet dream plus following a review of the nocturnal emission using a universal grading scale
• entertain insane conspiracy theories ("well, i'm not saying bernie sanders did 911. but he could've right? and survived by jumping out of the plane pre-impact and floating down with his golden parachute provided by wall street.) or just deny slavery happened
• talk about destiny in division threads i guess
• i still dont know what gamergate is

 

[Audioboxer]

In all honesty probably be willing to give up otherwise free time to post on and enjoy GAF to clean up duties and wading through posts (many in topics you may have no interest in).

It might just be my opinion but most mods don't post anywhere near as much as the most active GAFers.

Still surprised GAF doesn't have a report post button but I guess that would be abused. Only thinking of it from the angle of helping mods.

 

[Dennis]

Post in ALL CAPS.

It conveys a certain mod-like gravitas.

 

[More_Badass]

In all honesty probably be willing to give up otherwise free time to post on and enjoy GAF to clean up duties and wading through posts (many in topics you may have no interest in).

It might just be my opinion but most mods don't post anywhere near as much as the most active GAFers.

Hasn't slowed me down

Spoiler

Nearing 32,000 posts and 850 threads

 

[Audioboxer]

Hasn't slowed me down

Spoiler

Nearing 32,000 posts and 850 threads

But you wouldn't be more badass if you weren't the exception to the rule

 

[CarpeDeezNutz]

Who you want to ban? Tabris gone

 

[old]

Can you unhinge your jaw?

Can you wink with three separate parts of your body?

 

[Unit 33]

- chicken bones
- blood of a virgin
- planets aligned according to the Necronomicon
- the Necronomicon
- hair of Nicholas Cage
- a single tear from Evilore gathered at the end of Turner & Hooch

Of course!

 

[E92 M3]

One random night, you will be kidnapped from your room, taken to an isolated location and perform an ancient blood pact. It's not too bad.

 

[More_Badass]

One random night, you will be kidnapped from your room, taken to an isolated location and perform an ancient blood pact. It's not too bad.

Then Evilore tempted us with the thought of posting deliciously, and the thrill of banning and title changes. Afterwards, we danced madly around the bonfire, praising the great lord Nyog'ph

 

[RoyalLaFlame]

A hooded man called Bish comes in your sleep and says: "You sleep rather soundly for a mod. That's good! You'll need a clear mind for what I'm about to propose."

Then you engage in a conversation with him, with only 3 anwsers for you to choose.

 

[TCRS]

Spam your favourite memes to the best mod every day for 365 days in a row

I recommend this tbh

 

[Battlechili]

Challenge and defeat a current mod.

In what sort of challenge? A duel to the death? Seeing who can beat Superman 64 first? C'mon, I need details on what this great challenge entails.

 

[Little Mons†er]

5 pages in and still no definite answer

The mods are playing us y'all

 

[Audioboxer]

5 pages in and still no definite answer

The mods are playing us y'all

The real key is to PM Bish and ask him for a 6 month "ban". Be sure to use the ".

Sorry for leaking the answer EviLore.

 

[Michael F. Assbender]

5 pages in and still no definite answer

The mods are playing us y'all

I think that's because the definite answer is already well known.

-You find the biggest cave in the deepest part of the largest ocean, and you wait seven days. Don't worry about drowning. The cave is magically dry because of magic.

-At nightfall on the seventh day, you're approached by a half-lizard pigbird with the eyes of a man.

-This creature will offer you its left hoof [Important note: If the creature offers its right hoof first, you must begin doing squat thrusts while silently staring into the creature's eyes. Failure to do so will end the test at this step. Continue doing squat thrusts until the creature holds out its left hoof]. You need to refuse this offer. It will offer the left hoof again, and again you need to refuse.

-Upon the third offer, you need to spit not once, not twice, but thrice upon the creature's silken bathrobe. But not the bathrobe it's wearing. You need to spit on the bathrobe the creature is dragging behind itself.

-The creature will begin slowly turning in circles while humming the tune to "My Sharona." You must wait until it reaches the second verse before joining in, but you must spin in the opposite direction while humming.

-When the song is complete, the creature will drop an ancient box and leave the cave.

-Once the creature has been gone for exactly eight minutes, you must open the box. It will be filled with broken Cheez-Its brand snack crackers.

-You need to empty this box on the floor and divide it into fourteen piles, with each pile containing nine crackers. You will have four crackers left over.

-Find the two saltiest crackers of those remaining. Lick the salt from each, then wait for the saliva to dry.

-Once the two crackers have dried, eat them.

-Upon doing so, Evilore will enter the cave. He will ask for the two remaining Cheez-Its brand snack crackers. Give them to him.

-As he eats the crackers, you must rub his belly counterclockwise until he burps. He will then recite the President's speech from the movie Independence Day. You need to clap at every word that contains the letter W.

-When he's finished, he will kick you in the balls.

-You're now a mod.

 

[Camjo-Z]

It's all based on your avatar really. Got a hot tip that folks with Villager avatars are getting first crack at the job, you didn't hear it from me though...

 

[Daedardus]

NeoGAF is actually a totalitarian regime led by our Great Leader EviLord which works on strict admission and which requires tedious commitment from the members. Whenever members do something wrong, you actually have to signal the Mod Police through the PM Hotline. This ensures proper functioning of the NeoGAF morale. If your an excellent contributor in betraying non-functioning members, they start a process to admit you to the Mod Police.

 

[greycolumbus]

Just wait until your name redshifts. It'll happen to all of us eventually.

 

[jstripes]

If you see this mark on your door, you have been chosen.

 

[Little Mons†er]

I think that's because the definite answer is already well known.

-You find the biggest cave in the deepest part of the largest ocean, and you wait seven days. Don't worry about drowning. The cave is magically dry because of magic.

-At nightfall on the seventh day, you're approached by a half-lizard pigbird with the eyes of a man.

-This creature will offer you its left hoof [Important note: If the creature offers its right hoof first, you must begin doing squat thrusts while silently staring into the creature's eyes. Failure to do so will end the test at this step. Continue doing squat thrusts until the creature holds out its left hoof]. You need to refuse this offer. It will offer the left hoof again, and again you need to refuse.

-Upon the third offer, you need to spit not once, not twice, but thrice upon the creature's silken bathrobe. But not the bathrobe it's wearing. You need to spit on the bathrobe the creature is dragging behind itself.

-The creature will begin slowly turning in circles while humming the tune to "My Sharona." You must wait until it reaches the second verse before joining in, but you must spin in the opposite direction while humming.

-When the song is complete, the creature will drop an ancient box and leave the cave.

-Once the creature has been gone for exactly eight minutes, you must open the box. It will be filled with broken Cheez-Its brand snack crackers.

-You need to empty this box on the floor and divide it into fourteen piles, with each pile containing nine crackers. You will have four crackers left over.

-Find the two saltiest crackers of those remaining. Lick the salt from each, then wait for the saliva to dry.

-Once the two crackers have dried, eat them.

-Upon doing so, Evilore will enter the cave. He will ask for the two remaining Cheez-Its brand snack crackers. Give them to him.

-As he eats the crackers, you must rub his belly counterclockwise until he burps. He will then recite the President's speech from the movie Independence Day. You need to clap at every word that contains the letter W.

-When he's finished, he will kick you in the balls.

-You're now a mod.

Hang on... Just getting ready for my adventure

 

[Audioboxer]

Just wait until your name redshifts. It'll happen to all of us eventually.

Implying GAF will have to scrape the barrel at some point to get new mods?

 

[CaptainofIndustry]

The old selection process was similar to a WWE Royal Rumble match that would take place in a different location every year. I participated a few times, but was eliminated fairly early each time. That's how I know about it. Not sure what they do now.

 

[Levyne]

The serious answer is that you contribute positively and remain active over a long time and mods notice.

Something something "xx notice me"

 

[ActWan]

Some say it's harder than the trial of the grasses

 

[rickyson1]

I've never understood why anyone would want to become a mod, extra work for nothing, reminds me of this pasta.

-he's a janitor
-on the internet
-on an anime image board
-he does it for free
-he takes his "job" very seriously
-he does it because it is the only amount of power & control he will ever have in his pathetic life
-he deletes threads he doesn't like because whenever he gets upset he has an asthma attack
-he deletes threads he doesn't like because they interfere with the large backlog of little girl chinese cartoons he still has to watch
-he will never have a real job
-he will never move out of his parent's house
-he will never be at a healthy weight
-he will never know how to cook anything besides a hot pocket
-he will never have a girlfriend
-he will never have any friends

it was fun as a teenager,felt worth it for the rush of power

wouldn't wanna be a mod for anything now though

 

[Error]

you need one of these OP

 

[LookAtMeGo]

There must be something to this whole sending gromph some salsa thing.

 

[HMD]

So mods, how many bans a week on average?

 

[shadowkat]

First and foremost, every GAF mod/admin is expected to tip their server no less than 15%.

Secondly, all must be circumcised lest their unsightly foreskin lead them to the dark side.

Third, they must never cosign loans for any purpose and must thoroughly shame everyone on the internet who does.

With those qualifications met, nominees personally selected by current red names may choose to undertake our deadly mod trials of doom. Past trials have included but are not limited to: Creating a real life tribute interpretation of Wollan's colored outline orgy men; getting insanely intoxicated, blindfolded, spun 200x, and then swinging a baseball bat at a moving pinata in your gaming den; and much, much more. The list goes on and on, be prepared for anything.

Those who brave the trials and survive then have the privilege of stepping into the octagon with a pissed off grizzly bear for a no holds barred, kill or be killed fight to the finish. Then and only then may you join the ranks of these fine men of red letters.

But what about Kagari and Aeana?