-
Hey Guest. Check out your NeoGAF Wrapped 2025 results here!
How good are you at holding a conversation...
- Thread starter Miles Quaritch
- Start date
- Status
Daft Bird
Member
8/10, if the person is over 35 I can have great convos that could last hours. Under 35 but over 15 I just can't seem to talk to and have a good convo. And below 15 I'm basically Jonny Karate and they love me. I find it weird that my age group is the hardest one for me to communicate with.
Grizzlyjin
Supersonic, idiotic, disconnecting, not respecting, who would really ever wanna go and top that
For 4 years, my job at my university was making small talk with new students and their parents. Literally just going up to strangers and trying to make them feel comfortable, warm up to the idea of talking so they would ask questions. And at lunch time, I had to gather up students and eat lunch with them. So it would be me, and maybe 5 or 6 shy freshmen or would barely talk. That was my lunch time everyday in the summer during college.
Honestly, it just became an internal thing for me. It wasn't so much about how talkative the other person is, but how you bridge that comfort gap. I stopped being so guarded about myself and usually people follow suit with that. I literally just think of that person as a friend already, and start talking to them. Everybody is going to be different, not everyone wants to talk about themselves even if they do like you or feel comfortable. My goal was just to get them to place where they knew that they could ask anything and it would be cool.
I also like listening to people talk about themselves, which helps. So if someone tells me they're from some town I've never heard of in New York or Kansas, I have this earnest interest in knowing more about it.
Honestly, it just became an internal thing for me. It wasn't so much about how talkative the other person is, but how you bridge that comfort gap. I stopped being so guarded about myself and usually people follow suit with that. I literally just think of that person as a friend already, and start talking to them. Everybody is going to be different, not everyone wants to talk about themselves even if they do like you or feel comfortable. My goal was just to get them to place where they knew that they could ask anything and it would be cool.
I also like listening to people talk about themselves, which helps. So if someone tells me they're from some town I've never heard of in New York or Kansas, I have this earnest interest in knowing more about it.
DeployThatPizza
Member
Terrible at it, especially with strangers. If I'm with my friends, I get a little bit better, but most of the time I let my friends talk and ask questions to bring me into the conversation.
I'm a bit on the introverted side, mostly quiet and reserved, but when I want or need to I can turn on the conversation pretty well. I'm most comfortable 1 on 1, especially if the person is interesting. For groups, I'm not too comfortable with groups of people I don't know, but if I know a few people then I'm good. I love conversing with interesting people, with the right person I can keep conversation going for hours.
disappeared
Banned
I can ask a few questions and make a few comments but anything longer than a couple of minutes is pushing it.
There's more to it than that. A big part of holding a conversation is knowing what excites the person you're talking to. Not everyone is interested in talking about their daily life. Effective conversation starters vary drastically from person to person, not everyone will respond to generic small talk with the same level interest.
Initially focusing on another subject (e.g. news, sports, international events, food, travel) will set the stage for the conversation and can lead to very different types of discussions than some variant of "how was your ____".
LegendofLex
Member
I have no problem responding to people as they talk, but I can't do either of these things:
- Lead a conversation
- Pontificate about something for more than a minute or two
- Lead a conversation
- Pontificate about something for more than a minute or two
ThatStupidLion
Member
I can be really good at it
and I can be really bad at it
and I can be really bad at it
User 479360
Banned
It fluctuates, and though this is probably normal, depends on who I'm talking to.
If I know the person pretty well, it's not hard. If I don't, I have a problem a lot of the time and can be awkward. It's especially bad around attractive women.
If I know the person pretty well, it's not hard. If I don't, I have a problem a lot of the time and can be awkward. It's especially bad around attractive women.
i love listening and talking to people, i find it fascinating that humans can express themselves through speech/body language. i honestly view everyone as a friend, after all we all live on this big ass round house so we should get to know each other because you are unique and different than anyone else 
BLOODED_hands
Member
I'm somewhat similar but I tend to listen more.
Eh, I'm okay in one-on-one conversations. Totally depends on the person I'm talking to. Strangely enough, if I get the sense that the person I'm talking to is actually shyer than me (and I'm pretty shy) I can be pretty good at picking up the slack.
Group conversations with strangers, though? Christ. I might as well be a cardboard cutout.
Group conversations with strangers, though? Christ. I might as well be a cardboard cutout.
How About No
Member
How good? ...I don't wanna talk about it
NoblesseOblige
Banned
Just fine when I want to. However it's rare that I want to.
quickwhips
Member
I host meetings all the time most last about an hour. I did spend 2 hours today talking to my boss's boss. I guess I'm ok at it.
blame space
Banned
it's bad
old manatee
Banned
Me pretty good, but not as good as others.
I can hold a conversation if it is something i find interesting and/or i know about. And i happen to be in a mood to talk. Otherwise, i won't even try, unless i really need pretend for politeness sake or something.
I won't start a conversation easily though except with close friends. With friends, i know what topics can be talked about.
(Small talk? Don't bother. A nod as a greeting should be enough. Besides, nearly all small talk questions etc. are rhetorical, or asked with expectation that they will be turned around so that the person who asked may listen to their own voice.)
I won't start a conversation easily though except with close friends. With friends, i know what topics can be talked about.
(Small talk? Don't bother. A nod as a greeting should be enough. Besides, nearly all small talk questions etc. are rhetorical, or asked with expectation that they will be turned around so that the person who asked may listen to their own voice.)
Zen_Arcade
Banned
Mediocre. I don't mind not talking so I usually stop trying to keep the conversation up if the other person isn't really putting in an effort. If they lead the conversation well I can usually play off it, but if I'm driving the conversation and they aren't interested in moving the conversation along it usually dies out pretty quick.
I'm even worse at starting conversations with people I don't/barely know. I never know what to talk about.
I'm even worse at starting conversations with people I don't/barely know. I never know what to talk about.
How About No
Member
But yeah I don't like small talk, I'm not informed enough for deep conversations, I don't do anything interesting enough to share, and I'm not usually interested in other peoples opinions to ask questions
I don't like being said hello to most times
Forever in silence. Its OK tho
I don't like being said hello to most times
Forever in silence. Its OK tho
Nemesis121
Member
Depends on the subject, if it's something i am well verse in, very good at holding the convo, if i have no clue I just nod and bail the fuck out..
Rabbi_Vole
Banned
I'm awful at pretty much every subject.
John Kowalski
Banned
hello!
How about no.
VistraNorrez
Member
Usually the other person in the conversation will say something that sounds interesting to you. Make note of it and pursue that line of inquiry when the opportunity arises. Relate things to your own experiences if possible.
A friend of mine does this interesting thing where he will straight up say, "Ask me a question." It's strange enough that most people feel compelled to respond.
A friend of mine does this interesting thing where he will straight up say, "Ask me a question." It's strange enough that most people feel compelled to respond.
John Kowalski
Banned
I guess I'm not who he's looking for.
Alligatorjandro
Banned
you guys ever eat cheese
New Year. New Me
Member
I could talk about anything for an infinite amount of time (just not on the internet).
chaosblade
Unconfirmed Member
It's a safe bet that someone responding like this probably doesn't want to hold a conversation. I can't hold one very well because I'm boring and can't speak well, but I'll only respond like this if I just don't want to talk.
How About No
Member
HELLO. How. ARE. You.
thoseAREmySHOES
Member
This is me. Like, exactly me.
Depends on the person. If I'm talking to someone who is talkative then I will have plenty to say because they're giving me a lot to work with. If it's someone who is not naturally chatty, it's a lot harder unless we have some common interest.
This is very true, but you need to ask good questions. For years I stuck to asking questions because I was terrible at talking, and it's unbelievable how much people enjoyed talking to me. It's the conversational cheat code.
This is very true, but you need to ask good questions. For years I stuck to asking questions because I was terrible at talking, and it's unbelievable how much people enjoyed talking to me. It's the conversational cheat code.
davidwhangchoi
Member
fine thank you. how are you?
Danis Saur
Member
Does anyone else feels like they are the ones to start the conversation all the time? When I hang out with people I'm always the one to break the ice or start the conversation, and it weirds me out that its the case everytime.
Yes. I like conversing with people and am good at it. It involves listening, responding empathetically, and having a treasure trove of interesting things to talk about in case the conversation needs a little pick me up. I've spent my life learning a little bit about everything, which is generally useless, but comes in pretty handy at cocktail parties. And I lke hearing people's stories, so I listen appreciatively. And apparently it's obvious, because random strangers often come up and start chatting and everyone tells me their stories and secrets. I think a lot of people just want someone to hear them and acknowledge their ideas about the world.
blame space
Banned
beep boop
- Status