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How important is sexuality in your life/well-being ?
- Thread starter Manoko
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Well you didn't even try to put yourself in my shoes did you? Also I tried to step up to your level after your first few rude posts in here towards me, apparently I did good. I'm a quick study.
Not very important. I'm 17 and have done everything except for sex; Ive had opportunities, however I just don't have this huge desire for it.... Well that and the other reason is because I'm gay and all my opportunities have involved girls. I literally know no gay people in my city, I really hope this changes when I go to college next week.
Lmfao.
Abraham Maslow and his Hierarchy of Needs are kind of a big deal in the field of psychology.
When you're still renowned among psychologists across the world 45 years after your death, maybe what you have to say will be taken into consideration. Until then, lol.
Then are people who have no care for sex but seek food and water mutants?
Well, then again, I care very little for love/belonging, so I guess I am a mutant.
wanderingprostheyltite
Member
You could actually address some of their points rather than focus solely on the snark. Plenty of things in there that seem valid. It does seem like you're just going out of your way at this point to not understand their position/personal experience.
Hellwarden
Member
First off, linking to wikipedia articles for an argument is pretty fucking lazy. Secondly saying "lol, you're not a famous psychologist" to disregard someone's opinion is even worse.
Also, in the very article you linked...
"The position and value of sex on the pyramid has also been a source of criticism regarding Maslow's hierarchy. Maslow's hierarchy places sex in the physiological needs category along with food and breathing; it lists sex solely from an individualistic perspective. For example, sex is placed with other physiological needs which must be satisfied before a person considers "higher" levels of motivation. Some critics feel this placement of sex neglects the emotional, familial, and evolutionary implications of sex within the community, although others point out that this is true of all of the basic needs."
What a terrible post man. Seriously.
Just because there are critics doesn't mean it is wrong. Also, it might not be a universal hierarchy that applies to everyone. As we can see from this thread, some people aren't motivated by sex. Placing the emotional, familial and evolutionary implications anywhere near the physiological needs for me would be very wrong.
What don't you understand? I swear people in this thread are willfully obtuse.
A theory like his can still be correct but not apply to everyone in the world. The wiki also says that it is ethnocentric... Maybe his hierarchy correctly describes 70% of the population of "western" countries (just a random number I chose and geographic location), so how is it wrong for those 70% of the people? That is their hierarchy of needs and it describes them correctly. So it is not "wrong."
Is Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs designed to represent all of humanity, or a percentage of humanity?
Then what should I have linked? Wikipedia was a quick and convenient source to let him know that Maslow wasn't just some random dude who said something once, he's a famous psychologist.
Well when he says "Maslow's just some dumb guy who doesn't know what he's talking about," then yes, you would have to be a brilliant and renowned psychologist for such a suggestion to be taken remotely seriously.
Lots of things are subject to criticism. That doesn't mean the criticism is correct.
Sorry, but yours is the terrible post for completely missing the point of mine.
Count Dookkake
Member
If you kill my penis, you have killed me.
It's been a long time since grad school and studying Maslow's Hierarchy so I can't tell you what my professors said, but I would hazard a guess that he didn't believe every single person on the planet fit neatly into his hierarchy, though I could be wrong! And even if he did design to represent every person, the fact that it doesn't represent everyone on the planet again doesn't make it wrong.
Shadow Broker
Banned
It's very important to me.
You're original message was reasonable I thought, though it might have made your wife upset if she read it, kind of personal. I totally hear you and feel for you man
This is me.
On the flip side I also love giving pleasure as well. It is a very enjoyable experience for all involved
.There is a bit of that, but it's still pretty good
Eh I find that I can take it or leave it a lot of the time in a context where it's on the table long-term. But I am outside that context right now so I guess I feel differently about it.
Psychotext
Member
Pretty much how I feel. In a short term relationship it was all go, go, go, but longer term I've gone from being horny all the time, to not really caring.
Hellwarden
Member
Something that didn't actually contradict your argument.
Maslow isn't exactly a household name. He's well known if you've studied psychology, but he's still not a household name. Not to most people.
Just because Maslow's hiearchy of needs is well known doesn't mean it's perfect by any means. Maslow's research is very debatable. Somehow I don't think you've read it.
That is the weakest fucking defense. A third grader could come up with a stronger counterpoint.
Sorry, but yours is the terrible post for completely missing the point of mine.
How can I come back from such a strong argument? You're a child.
TBH I wish it was more active than it is currently, gonna have to work on it.
I don't know why but anecdotally speaking it seems like less people are having sex than previous generations. Again this is just based off anecdotal evidence but I think technology is very much getting in the way of intimacy.
I know a lot of people my age(20) that are would probably admit to being sexually frustrated or whatever. Come to think of it, I don't even see that many couples in my age range. I mean a know some but you'd figure there would be much more...
I don't know why but anecdotally speaking it seems like less people are having sex than previous generations. Again this is just based off anecdotal evidence but I think technology is very much getting in the way of intimacy.
I know a lot of people my age(20) that are would probably admit to being sexually frustrated or whatever. Come to think of it, I don't even see that many couples in my age range. I mean a know some but you'd figure there would be much more...
Sorry, but yours is the terrible post for completely missing the point of mine.
Did you two just... negate each other?
My most recent ex was an unfortunate combination of reasonable sex drive, reluctance to ask for/initiate sex and a laundry list of reasons why she wouldn't want to on a particular day... it really doesn't mesh well with a partner having a laissez-faire towards sex
Solideliquid
Member
My last few relationships, my girlfriends all surprised me and swallowed. Now, this girl I've been dating (who's great) says she can't, won't, whatever and hasn't even tried. I am GGG about going down on her as long as necessary. Feeling pretty down about it. And I feel bad about it, like I'm being shallow.
Psychotext
Member
She could still blow you you know, finish on her face.
Crash Station
Member
That was worded a lot more belligerent than I meant it to be. It's not so much I think I'm incapable of attracting people. In fact, I know that's not true as it has happened. It's more me never finding a person in my 28 years of life that I'd actually want to hang out with for more than an hour or 2, which has cost me some very good friends in the past year. So it's less a self-worth issue and more me legitimately finding people painfully boring even if we share the same interests. But this isn't mental health gaf which I've posted in before on topics like this, so I'll just leave it at that.
I wouldn't rule it out and say it will never happen, but I, at this very moment have trouble envisioning being with someone in that way and all the headaches that come with it. An FWB is far more feasible to me than an SO, but it's not like I'm going out seeking that either (though I have been offered once).
Anyway, I'm sorry all that happened to you, but I'm glad you found some happiness.
Yeah, I'm just getting back to this thread and, reading through this shit...welp. I know what you mean, vern.
For some of us, sex seems more like a need than a want. Like you, I realize that for me to be happy and fulfilled in a relationship, sex is key.
I absolutely agree with you that if one partner is not willing to engage sexually while the other desires a sex life, then it is insane and profoundly unloving and inconsiderate to attempt to deny one's "significant other" a sex life with other, willing, persons.
Insane.
Totally unloving.
Shows a ridiculous lack of compassion for one's "better half".
In my opinion, the frequency of sex in a loving relationship is set by the person who wants it most often, not the person who wants it the least often. Otherwise it just doesn't seem like a very loving relationship
So, yeah, I'm with you. Asexuals, and even low sex-drive individuals, can be difficult for me to really understand. But I try. Why am I a monster, or vacuous, because I'm on the other end of that spectrum?
And wow, these last couple of pages. Man. Some people could maybe just concede that sexuality is a very personal thing, individual and subjective, and get some empathy. Jeez.
kavanf1
Member
The ignorant responses to your post were what made me decide to bail from this thread. I mean, if you don't know who someone is, it takes five seconds to google them, rather than make yourself look a fool by dismissing them out of hand. I think based on the responses you're getting there's not much point pursuing the discussion.
Indeed.
Who said anything about screwing someone disliked? No one said sex is the key to happiness. But the lock on happiness has multiple keyholes, and sex is one of those keys. Has anyone said sex is the most important thing in a relationship? It sounds like you are inventing things to rebut.
Sex can be an end in itself. You can have a relationship without sex, sex without a relationship. But many people need a healthy sexual relationship to remain interested and involved with a significant other. You may not. You're projecting yourself onto everyone else.
crazyrabbits
Banned
Not that important. I'm happy, have good friends and great life experiences. I can't ask for much more.
I don't see how that contradicts what I said. You are inventing things to suit your argument.
ThatStupidLion
Member
sex is going well in my marriage/9 yr relationship....i can nitpick the shit out of mine, but in the end it's not really that important - as long as it's there enough and both are content.
i do gave a much worse sex addiction than her though, which concerns me.
i do gave a much worse sex addiction than her though, which concerns me.
diablos991
Can’t stump the diablos
It's important. Very important.
It's of vital importance to the future of the human race as well.
It's of vital importance to the future of the human race as well.
Megalosaro
Banned
I've had a few sexual encounters but my libido is pretty low to be honest.
I Jo maybe once a week. I don't ever really think about sex any more.
I Jo maybe once a week. I don't ever really think about sex any more.
"To remain alive, food is key."
"Are you saying food is the most important thing???"
"To remain alive, water is key."
"Are you saying water is the most important thing???"
"To remain alive, breathing is key."
"Are you saying breathing is the most important thing???"
You are being deliberately obtuse to misguide and confuse the argument. You are inventing intent. Whether or not you recognize this is irrelevant to the fact that it is what you are doing, just as whether or not you recognize that sex is crucial for some people to maintain healthy relationships is irrelevant to the fact that it is true.
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