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[Grenouille]

When I moved to South Africa it was very weird at first to see everyone calling teachers sir or ma'am. As my understanding of english was very bad i thought they were saying mom. But then I got used to it and started doing it myself.

 

[Dishwalla]

This thread floors me, who knew it'd be such a bad thing to be polite to strangers. Should I not hold open doors for random people because it might suggest they are "superior" to me, or they might think I'm a twat for doing so?

 

[NinjaFridge]

This thread floors me, who knew it'd be such a bad thing to be polite to strangers. Should I not hold open doors for random people because it might suggest they are "superior" to me, or they might think I'm a twat for doing so?

Because as we all know you can't be polite without calling people sir or ma'am.

 

[n00bsauce87]

If it seems like they are older than I'll say it.

 

[MIMIC]

Wow. Some of the posts on the first page (particularly these two) have absolutely stunned me. When it comes to someone far older than me (especially a stranger, and especially in a public setting) I'll usually refer to them as "sir" or "ma'am".

"Excuse me sir/ma'am, you dropped your wallet/phone/whatever."

 

[injurai]

I refer to everyone as homosapiens.

 

[Dishwalla]

Because as we all know you can't be polite without calling people sir or ma'am.

But why is it such a big deal? It takes no effort on your part, it shows common courtesy, and unless the person you are calling sir specifically says "don't call me sir you twat", why should it matter if they think any less of you for saying it?

Maybe I should just start walking around saying "excuse me, dickhead".

 

[entremet]

All the time, I have Southern roots after all.

 

[daviyoung]

But why is it such a big deal? It takes no effort on your part, it shows common courtesy, and unless the person you are calling sir specifically says "don't call me sir you twat", why should it matter if they think any less of you for saying it?

Maybe I should just start walking around saying "excuse me, dickhead".

it's almost like different places have different customs

for example:

"Excuse me sir/ma'am, you dropped your wallet/phone/whatever."

becomes "Excuse me, you dropped your wallet/phone/whatever"

it does not become "Excuse me you pig fucking ugly sack of shit, you dropped your wallet/phone/whatever"

 

[Wicked Sushi]

Never have. When I hear someone address others as such, who are on the same level as them in the interaction (e.g. not serving a customer or speaking with a boss), it always strikes me as a subtle way to socially elevate themselves over others. "You did not call me a sir, but I'm going to do that anyway to let you know how much more respectful and classier I am than you!"

Seems like many people are genuine about it in this thread, but I think it's good to know how some might potentially perceive it, even if they will not tell you in person.

Of course, it's different when it's between friends.

 

[Dishwalla]

I got that it's different customs, but I don't understand the people suggesting that saying sir or ma'am is a bad thing.

 

[CarpeDeezNutz]

I'm like you OP, I say sir or ma'am all the time, usually to people working somewhere though. Like, if I get gas I say "10 dollars on pump three ma'am, thank you".

 

[daviyoung]

I got that it's different customs, but I don't understand the people suggesting that saying sir or ma'am is a bad thing.

it's not a bad thing, it's just that in some places (like the UK) it'd be a weird thing

 

[MollyAttack]

I used to use those terms when I worked retail. Now I don't work retail and I don't ever really need to use it...

 

[FritoBandito]

I've always felt that many women would consider being referred to as "ma'am" a little insulting since it implies being old.

 

[RedShift]

I got that it's different customs, but I don't understand the people suggesting that saying sir or ma'am is a bad thing.

Eh, to me calling random people Sir or Ma'am would be like going up to random people and calling them m'lord or m'lady. Not rude just... weird.

 

[GravityMan]

This is one of those things that I don't think too much about. I usually just go with my gut feeling. Some people I do say sir/ma'am to, some I don't. It just depends on the person, the situation, etc. I can usually tell pretty easily whether the person is the type that prefers being addressed with "sir" or one that hates being called "sir" or "ma'am". To me it's just being polite.

There are some people that call me "sir" and others that don't. I don't really care either way, it's not a big deal.

 

[Halcyon]

If you don't use sir/mam/miss often that just means you are an impolite entitled piece of shit as a human being.

Could be worse things though.

 

[John Kowalski]

I very, very rarely use honorifics, instead using the formal pronouns that my language has.

 

[dan2026]

If you don't use sir/mam/miss often that just means you are an impolite entitled piece of shit as a human being.
.

I hope you are being sarcastic. But then again I am an impolite, entitled piece of shit, so what would I know?

 

[RyougaSaotome]

All the time. I used to work at a pretty upper tier hotel, but even before then I just kinda adapted it.

There are instances when I need to get somebody's attention but they're not looking at me, so "Excuse me" doesn't cut it.

I could always say "Excuse me, lady/dude/man" but it just sounds awkward and rude.

 

[dan2026]

There are instances when I need to get somebody's attention but they're not looking at me, so "Excuse me" doesn't cut it.

Why doesn't 'excuse me' cut it.

I have been using it my whole life and nobody has ever called me rude.

 

[Halcyon]

I hope you are being sarcastic. But then again I am an impolite, entitled piece of shit, so what would I know?

Like halfway sarcastic. I think its polite and I tend to use it but I get why people would think it's weird. I just hyperbole'ing

 

[Panthalassic]

I was raised to call people older than me "sir" or "ma'am" by my parents, but things seemed to be so casual in my university town that I forget sometimes unless I'm in a serious situation or something.

I usually go back to doing it when I go home.

 

[IceCold]

I've always felt that many women would consider being referred to as "ma'am" a little insulting since it implies being old.

Then say miss, you'll be assuming that they are young.

 

[Ahasverus]

What is the non super formal form? "Mister/miss?" Also how dp you pronnounce ma'am lol as the french "madame" or "mom"?

 

[Steelrain]

Only when I'm feeling euphoric

 

[Wynnebeck]

Everyone. Coming from a military family has ingrained me to saying "sir" and "ma'am" to everyone even my own friends. I don't mind though.

 

[SeanR1221]

Frequently.



Is there a better alternative that a stranger could call you? Serious question, genuinely curious what people prefer.

M'lady

 

[FyreWulff]

I've always used Sir or Ma'am when addressing people I don't know the name of. It's neutral and getting their attention in a complimentary way.

I've never thought of it being only for old people though, and nobody I've asked has either.

Never. I'm perfectly polite but "sir" and "ma'am" suggests superiority. Fuck that.

wat

 

[mclem]

I always think it sounds patronising and insincere, to be honest, so I'll generally only use it in a tongue-in-cheek way among friends.

 

[mclem]

This thread floors me, who knew it'd be such a bad thing to be polite to strangers.

The thing is, I genuinely interpret it as impolite!

 

[FyreWulff]

The thing is, I genuinely interpret it as impolite!

Why? Holding the door allows everyone to make it through faster. It's polite as a bonus, and much more effiecent.

Like, seriously, everyone does it here in Nebraska. Men hold doors for men, women hold doors for men, men hold doors for women, adults hold doors for kids, kids hold doors for adults. I think some are -really- overanalyzing social interaction.

 

[mclem]

Why? Holding the door allows everyone to make it through faster. It's polite as a bonus, and much more effiecent.

Like, seriously, everyone does it here in Nebraska. Men hold doors for men, women hold doors for men, men hold doors for women, adults hold doors for kids, kids hold doors for adults. I think some are -really- overanalyzing social interaction.

I mean the sir or madam thing; I'll gladly open doors for people. Edited my previous post to clarify.

 

[FyreWulff]

I mean the sir or madam thing; I'll gladly open doors for people. Edited my previous post to clarify.

DAMNIT MAN

 

[Grisby]

All the time.

Parents raised me to say it to older folk as a sign of respect.

 

[Pankratous]

All the time.

Parents raised me to say it to older folk as a sign of respect.

I absolutely despise the attitude that elders deserve respect automatically.

 

[EYEL1NER]

I was taught pretty good manners when I was younger but "sir" or "ma'am" weren't things I grew up on. I really only started using those due to the military and they stuck after getting out.
So I still use them, as it became habit. Now that I know there are people out there that will overthink it or question my intentions and have a big deal over it, it certainly doesn't make me want to stop using them anytime soon.

 

[Grisby]

I absolutely despise the attitude that elders deserve respect automatically.

Ok. I think of it as being polite. Plus, depending on the age, they probably know or experienced something a lot longer than I have.

I mean, if the person is a grade A asshole then they won't get nothing.

 

[SmartBase]

When I use keigo would be the only time I use those terms or similar ones, but there's no point doing the same in English.

 

[CarpeDeezNutz]

I was taught pretty good manners when I was younger but "sir" or "ma'am" weren't things I grew up on. I really only started using those due to the military and they stuck after getting out.
So I still use them, as it became habit. Now that I know there are people out there that will overthink it or question my intentions and have a big deal over it, it certainly doesn't make me want to stop using them anytime soon.

Nobody really cares, we're just on a message board and overthinkig it haha.

Sir

 

[zsswimmer]

I usually say it while working to someone who looks significantly older than me. Plus I live in the south so it's a pretty common thing to say, especially ma'am.

 

[Des0lar]

I live in sweden so we dont have that kind of stuff (socialism ftw!)

However, we do have "Ers kungliga höghet" and "Ers majestät" which basically means the same thing. I use that all the time for random people.

Wut? You call people "Your highness" or "Your majesty"?

I absolutely despise the attitude that elders deserve respect automatically.

You have the attitude of a rebellious teenager.
Being polite and courteous is something you should be to everyone. Not respecting other people just makes you the asshole.

If someone does you harm or mistreats you, then they deserve to lose your respect.

 

[Pankratous]

Wut? You call people "Your highness" or "Your majesty"?



You have the attitude of a rebellious teenager.
Being polite and courteous is something you should be to everyone. Not respecting other people just makes you the asshole.

If someone does you harm or mistreats you, then they deserve to lose your respect.

I am polite and courteous to everyone. That's not the same thing as respect.

 

[Mammoth Jones]

All the time. I'm pretty polite and respectful to strangers.

 

[FritoBandito]

Then say miss, you'll be assuming that they are young.

Then they'll think I'm flirting! Argh!

 

[Massive Duck. C.M.]

I just think of it as everyone being worthy of respect unless they prove otherwise, which doesn't seem radical or subordinate to me.

 

[EdibleKnife]

I say that to most individuals older than me unless they say not to.

 

[Epsilon-delta]

Military has made it what I say, just a natural reaction for me.

This right here.

 

[Acrylic7]

all the time.