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How to politely ask someone to stop talking to a friend?
- Thread starter ThanksVision
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AvidNobody said:
that's because you're a white-knight captain with no game
let her handle her own shit. she's never gonna give it up to you and if it does it'll be in a moment of weakness and only because she didn't have a better option and it won't mean shit (cue that xkcd comic)
next time you meet a pretty girl you'd like to fuck, make it clear from the start that you're interested in her sexually and don't be her fucking friend
real talk real talk
Hellsing321
Member
We are jumping to conclusions. If we could get pictures of the girl in question it would make this much easier to decide.Shaka said:
Siebzehn50
Member
Hellsing321 said:
This initiative seems worthwhile
umop_3pisdn
Member
Mumei said:
This is exactly what I wanted to say. I can't even recall a time when that has happened. If I only kept my male friends around out of sexual interest I would have no same-sex friends :lol
Mumei said:
Well the assumption is that (assuming it's a straight male and straight female) if you both like being around each other, enjoy each others company, etc. then why aren't you together? Isn't friendship the foundation of a good relationship anyway? It's actually a very logical assumption if you operate on the premise that a male wouldn't spend a lot of time with a female he wasn't attracted to on some level (and visa versa).
I can think of a couple of reasons not to date female friends and keep them just as friends (mainly having to do with level of attraction or being unavailable), but my parents and older people in general give me shit for it every time I hang out with a female friend.
umop_3pisdn
Member
esquire said:
There are many different ways one can take enjoyment in another's company. Many, if not the overwhelming majority, have very little to do with romantic interest.
There are many who's company I enjoy. How I would qualitatively describe that enjoyment varies across the board. And very rarely does that make me go "Hmm, we should date." 98% of the time, all it does is assure me that we'd be better off as we are already, as friends.
Mumei said:
I can't figure out if you're a gay dude or a chick. I'm going to choose chick because it more fits what I already wrote.
Figures a chick doesn't get it. I love how girls don't even consciously lead dudes on. I fault the dudes more than girls because you have to know chicks are going to lead you on and you can choose the leash or not. For the record all these "just friends" dudes want to fuck you raw. Don't you find it odd that so many smokingly hot girls keep talking about how "Guys are so much better friends than girls!" Yeah, there's a reason. Because the dudes are being led on and putting it on a pedestal so doing anything her pretty little eyes tell them to do. Then you'll find ugly chicks seem to never have any of these great guy friends who do anything they say.
umop_3pisdn
Member
Tenks said:
He's gay. So am I.
Maximus.
Member
Just be nice and tell the dude the chick doesn't want to talk to him and to leave her alone. Don't get mad at him and just keep explaining how she doesn't like him.
other thing you could do that effective from experience is whenever he is around just take her away from him or talk about things and do not involve him and start playing the ignore game.
Regardless, the dude is probably going to be pissed.
other thing you could do that effective from experience is whenever he is around just take her away from him or talk about things and do not involve him and start playing the ignore game.
Regardless, the dude is probably going to be pissed.
SuperSonic1305
Member
Tell him to make like a tree and fuck off.
umop_3pisdn
Member
Tenks said:
Well, I would imagine it's difficult to hypersexualize or hyper-romanticize one's own gender. From the whole self/other dichotomy, it is a bit problematic. There's also the shared history growing up amongst other boys, they were regarded as peers by my childhood self before they could be regarded as anything else.
I imagine the whole heteronorm thing would be more likely to cause that, since the 'other' is in a sense more of an 'other', certain perspectives have no urgent motive to change. Sex is more easily seen as an uncrossable gulf. Though that's arguably largely due socialization. Those with big sisters or who had girl friends growing up are probably more likely to maintain honest friendships with the opposite sex in the future, since that schema is already there.
Women can make great friends, so I find it hard to believe that it's so unlikely to want to keep them around only for that reason.
PflargBlarg
Member
I'm in the camp that finds it very unusual for a guy to be 'just friends' with a single girl. For all you who have these 'friends' can you honestly say that you would not have sex with them if given the opportunity? I suppose it's possible, but I cannot think that it is very common.
And when I say friend I mean a person that you hang out with and talk to outside of work/school/whatever other scheduled thing. Imagine that it's just you and your female 'friend' alone somewhere. Is there sexual tension? I can almost guarantee it.
And when I say friend I mean a person that you hang out with and talk to outside of work/school/whatever other scheduled thing. Imagine that it's just you and your female 'friend' alone somewhere. Is there sexual tension? I can almost guarantee it.
Well to be fair girls love having gay guys as a friend. They get that male perspective on situations while knowing completely he doesn't want to diddle her cooter. My girlfriend has a gay friend, my ex had like three, my mom direly wants one. Hell I even have a few but thats just cause they're cool dudes.
Wormdundee said:
Back when I was a stupid high schooler / college freshman I had a girl who I wanted to plow in the utmost. I kept fooling myself into thinking her and I were just really good friends and maybe, maybe someday we'll be more. Yeah, that never happens. Only reason I kept talking to her is cause her rack was hot and I wanted to fuck. Finally losing my virginity made cutting that relationship alot easier. She still calls me and asks why we're not very close anymore. I don't have the heart to tell her it's because she led me on for so many years :lol
My parents still think we're going to end up married in the next 5 years
KratosKilla
Banned
OP this is dirty work that a friend should not be doing. It's her responsibility to end it. I don't understand why you should feel any obligation considering you are just friends. Unless she feels physically threatened by this guy, I would say leave this to her. Or you could make her unavailable by trying to seek more than just friendship because any man who's willing to get involved in stopping another man from going for a woman is interested in her himself. If you are, you should tell her, because there is no use bottling it up if she feels the same way about you. If she doesn't, you can move on or if the friendship means that much to both of you, you can continue it.
mysticwhip
Banned
Tell him her pussy looks like a Blue Waffle.
abstract alien
Member
Honestly, I'd be respectful, but there is only so much "kindness" that can come from an act such as this. You aren't familiar with his temperament or style of handling things, so just understand that things could go sour quickly. He could understand and be civil, or he could feel his manhood being "tested", feeling the need to get a bit aggressive(or maybe really aggressive). Just be respectful while staying on guard.
Tenks said:
Or straight guys (like, say, you) that they aren't having sex with.
umop_3pisdn said:
Maybe there's something to this.
red shoe paul
Banned
Just say she's not into you, and she's creeped out by it.
Vanillalite
Ask me about the GAF Notebook
Mumei said:
Meh I've got a ton of friends both guys and girls who have been single or dating and the same with me. If we want to hang we want to hang. I think it works though now cause IDK I've been like this forever so nobody in my circle gives a fuck about this issue.
umop_3pisdn
Member
Wormdundee said:
But I have no personal concept of this, which makes me think it's not inherent but rather something more socialized. Otherwise, one would presume the same would follow for my case?
I mean, I've had more straight friends confess an interest in me, than I have ever experienced for my straight friends :lol
Maybe I'm too choosy or something, but I find this notion really dumbfounding. Platonic interest seems the more likely default for anyone I take an interest in, regardless of gender.
hey_monkey
Banned
RedShift said:
Truest damn thing I've ever seen anyone post here.
ThanksVision
Member
I told her to do it herself. She said that it really wasn't that big of a deal in the first place, etc. But I guess she did it.
And some of you keep telling me that I'm in a friendzone, but that's where I want to be with this girl. There wouldn't be any "sexual tension" or anything if we hung out alone. We're just pretty good friends.
And some of you keep telling me that I'm in a friendzone, but that's where I want to be with this girl. There wouldn't be any "sexual tension" or anything if we hung out alone. We're just pretty good friends.
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