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[A Fish Aficionado]

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration

 

[pottuvoi]

A medium sized vodka in two weeks? I hardly consider that heavy drinking but I hope you do get to a happier place soon.

Indeed.

Although if one feels that he drinks too much, he probably should have week or two without alcohol just to see how it impacts his life.

 

[Mxrz]

Try dialing back the video games, and picking up a hobby that requires going out more? Outdoors stuff is great this time of year. It sounds like your routine is killing you inside, but its on you to change it.

Don't necessarily need to jump into full on AA & therapy, a lot of towns have support groups and counselors. Its worth taking a look.

 

[Messofanego]

It's also uncomfortable to talk about, for me and for others. But I can't talk about this with my parents, who are the only non-internet/work related people I interact with these days, because seeing me this upset would crush them. I know, because it crushed them in high school, when I had depression issues then. My sister went through an anorexic spell and almost died, so I certainly can't talk to my mom about my image/eating/drinking problems - it might be too much for her to handle. I have nowhere else to go and Mental Health GAF seems to be for people with serious problems, not normal deadbeats at their wit's end.

I don't know where to go from here.

I had depression when I was going through med school. It was the first time in my life. The stress was getting to me. Didn't go to classes. I was living in another country away from my parents. I felt like a gigantic disappointment considering my parents paid for my education and I was wasting it by staying in my apartment always being on the internet. However, once I opened up about it to my parents, they got a ticket to fly me back. We discussed it at length, and we got through it. Worked on the little things first, like just hygiene. Brushing my teeth. Taking showers. Eating at the right times and enough of it. Got my grades back up.

Maybe your parents will be more likely to understand now that it's come back. You need someone physical that can listen to you, if not them, then a therapist.

 

[DamageControl]

1. Take a vacation. Go with a friend, or do it alone if you have to. Something which preferably gets you outdoors and walking about.

2. Try applying for jobs you are interested in.

3. Maybe meet up with some people from GAF in your area. It always helps to talk to people who have the same interests as you. It will help you relax.

4. Something which I have realized is that you gotta get up and help yourself. No one is gonna do it for you. Not your parents, not your girlfriend even if you had one and not even your friends. The positive change has to come from you. You will have to make the effort. It is definitely easier said than done. Sometimes wallowing in self-pity for too long makes it difficult to get out of it. Sometimes brave decisions have to be taken.

5. You are using alcohol and binge eating to fill a void. Some people do it with women, others with drugs as well. What you should realize is that this is not a healthy way of life. If you want change, drinking and eating more than you should won't do it.

Good luck.

 

[StanleyStutters]

The part about dreading work and avoiding sleep are things that hit home for me. When my anxiety was at it's worst, I would try and find anything to keep myself awake and would be filled with anxiety about the upcoming day. What helped me was going to a psychiatrist who prescribed some medication that really helped. I still have some sleeping issues, but I'm no longer filled with anxiety everyday and I don't dread things like work and school the way I used to.

Medication isn't the right path for everyone, but I would recommend at least talking with someone to see if that helps. It sounds to me like you have some form of anxiety or depression, but I am far from an expert and you should talk with a doctor and see what they have to say.

 

[Condom]

The part about dreading work and avoiding sleep are things that hit home for me. When my anxiety was at it's worst, I would try and find anything to keep myself awake and would be filled with anxiety about the upcoming day. What helped me was going to a psychiatrist who prescribed some medication that really helped. I still have some sleeping issues, but I'm no longer filled with anxiety everyday and I don't dread things like work and school the way I used to.

Medication isn't the right path for everyone, but I would recommend at least talking with someone to see if that helps. It sounds to me like you have some form of anxiety or depression, but I am far from an expert and you should talk with a doctor and see what they have to say.

He says he's narcissistic and idk if he has the disorder (like me) but then medication isn't the answer at all.

Honestly medication is the easy way out (for those with NPD) because it numbs us to the internal struggle and just makes us not care at all anymore (in a bad way).

I'd love medication for example, let's me just continue being narcissistic and without emotions/empathy.

I'd just go for therapy while also doing stuff that involves people. You'll hate both but that's because they require change and focus on other people's feelings.

 

[Always-honest]

Chances are that if you start going to a gym three times a week you'll feel much better about yourself and you'll probably drink less anyway. Also, sleep is important.

Then, when you feel better, move the fuck out. Find a place of your own.

in the meantime, try to find work you feel good about.


Good luck man.

 

[ManUnkindH]

I think I need help. Let me frame this, though, by saying that I'm not a trainwreck. My life is on the brink of becoming one, though, and it has been for a while.

I drink way too much. I'm probably going to drink myself to death. I go through a medium sized vodka by myself in two weeks time. You would think I love drinking, but I don't. It's an addiction, plain and simple. And a big part of it is that I have trouble dealing with my other consumption issue: binge eating disorder. Or at least, that's what I think it is. Food controls my life in a bad way. I've been seriously overweight or seriously underweight my entire life. I enslave myself to the gym not to be healthy, but to enact damage control against what I've eaten that day. Sometimes the stress is enough to drive me insane. I'm also extremely narcissistic despite not being particularly good looking. I feel like I have to look my best at all times, which, as you might imagine, conflicts with the drinking/eating problems I have, which ups stress levels even more. I care so much about what other people think about me that it, too, drives me insane.

I don't sleep right. I get maybe three to four hours of sleep a night. I always choose recreation over sleep for free time. I cannot bring myself to give up spending so much time with my hobbies after growing up doing basically nothing but "my own thing". I come home from my 9-5 and feel like my soul has been drained, so I "need" my me time. Hint: this is tongue in cheek. I know I don't need it. I should get more sleep. Today at work I nearly passed out from how tired I was. I felt like I was injected with anesthetic. It's going to be the same tomorrow.

Speaking of work, I hate it. I hate it so much that it's become a problem, because I cannot mask my hatred of being there, even when I am giving it a good effort. I teach, so I am constantly "presenting" something. My students complain that I sound monotone, bored, and like I don't want to be there. I didn't even notice this until they pointed it out, My co-workers have noticed it, too. I take shortcuts when I can. I spend every night dreading work the next day. The worst is when I drink a lot the night before and go to work hungover, tired, and miserable. I think most people couldn't even function like that. I do manage to get my work done, and I'm not too bad at it. I'm not in danger of losing my "job" (I student teach, so it's not technically employment as of yet). But I feel like death the entire time, and my attitude is toxic.

Typing all of this out, I realize it doesn't seem that bad compared to what some other people go through. I'm functional, I have a career path, a place to live, and I don't have any serious mental health problems. But I feel like I am at the lowest end of the "normal" spectrum that is possible. I don't have friends anymore, I'm twenty six and I live with my parents, my only interest in life is video games these days. When I compare this to the high life I lived in college - going out all the time, being in a relationship, not being an alcoholic, doing well in school, being fairly popular - my life feels like a dark pit by comparison. I'm alone and miserable. I contemplate suicide every day as the forbidden fruit that I can never take. I'll never kill myself, but I'm constantly enthralled by the idea. I dread waking up and facing the day.

I don't even know why I made this thread. Complaining accomplishes nothing and nobody has an obligation to care about my woes. I guess a subconscious part of me really wants help. I hate being so open like this. A lot of this stuff is shameful to me, as stupid as it might sound. It's also uncomfortable to talk about, for me and for others. But I can't talk about this with my parents, who are the only non-internet/work related people I interact with these days, because seeing me this upset would crush them. I know, because it crushed them in high school, when I had depression issues then. My sister went through an anorexic spell and almost died, so I certainly can't talk to my mom about my image/eating/drinking problems - it might be too much for her to handle. I have nowhere else to go and Mental Health GAF seems to be for people with serious problems, not normal deadbeats at their wit's end.

I don't know where to go from here.

Alcohol is not your problem here. Anxiety and maybe, just maybe - depression. But I would go with anxiety. Anyway, forget about fuckin AA because you don't need it at the moment, that if you were being sincere about that vodka. Go see a doctor, tell him about your anxiety issues and that will go a long way. There's treatment with medicine that will make you feel a lot better. Also, go run, jogging every day goes a long way with anxiety and depression problems.

 

[shaki123]

It's great you asked for advice here. When I was in trouble I did the same and GAF helpen me out like a real family would. This is the first step.

In the past I had a drug and alcohol addiction. I smoked 5 joints a day, combined with 5 0,50cl 11% beers. I conquered it by signing myself up for rehab. When I got there something changed inside. When I saw all those helpless people I knew I was the only one who could do something about my life.

I walked out and gave up my addiction cold turkey. You have to want to change. Then you can and will change.

 

[mocolostrocolos]

Talking by the quantity you say, OP, you shouldn't be an alcoholic.

That said, what matters is how you feel, if you think you're an addict it may be true. You may not be addicted to alochol, though.

 

[Zakalwe]

I would honestly try to avoid medication if you have an addictive personality. I went through something similar a few years ago and found myself becoming addicted to sleeping aids and painkillers.

Look into Cognative Behaviour Therepy (CBT). In the Uk it's just a matter of speaking with your GP and getting a referral.

There's one way out of this and that's the decision to make a change.

You can do it.

 

[A Fish Aficionado]

I would suggest against meds if it is benzodiazapines. Benzos work in the same chemical channels as alcohol.

I think alcohol being called a depressant is a misnomer. It's a central nervous system depressant (CNS agent).

So, mainstream antiperspirants are not harmful and should take care of a percentage of the anxiety or dullness.

 

[SneakyStephan]

I think you should work on the sleeping problem

A lack of sleep is going to make your depression a lot worse.

The me time thing (staying up late I assume) sounds like a lack of discipline.

If you want to make a change that's where I'd start (especially before resorting to anti depressants and shit...)

 

[antiloop]

Hang in there and take time for sleep. I am also depressed and have other problems. Being out of work and having too much freetime is one of them.

 

[Zakalwe]

I think you should work on the sleeping problem

A lack of sleep is going to make your depression a lot worse.

The me time thing (staying up late I assume) sounds like a lack of discipline.

If you want to make a change that's where I'd start (especially before resorting to anti depressants and shit...)

At this point it's chickens and eggs.

OP says their life was different before, lots of friends and hey were happy. Some series of events led them to where they are now: little sleep, drinking every night, no social life, hating work, etc...

All of these things could simply be due to lack of sleep. Exhaustion can ruin our ability to function at the most basic levels, if it's sustained for a period of time then that's going to negatively change your world and you'll feel it.

The OP's depression and anxiety might just be symptoms of the above, but now they're the reason everything is difficult. Trying to sleep with depression and anxiety can be incredibly difficult, whixh is why I suggested CBT (or something similar) which gifts you the perspective to rationalise things into easy, small steps.

In the meantime, I'd recommend trying this next chance you can OP (I did this as part of my CBT course and it helped a great deal).

Wake up tomorrow and forgo all caffeine (if you drink it at all).

Turn your phone off during work hours (unless you require it for work), avoid browsing the internet entirely and try to avoid using electronic devices.

Take your breaks outside and meditate. Just feel how tired you are, let your body tell you what it needs. Know when you get home you'll be able to sleep. Really appreciate that fact.

When you leave keep your phone off. Cook a proper meal in the evening (this will keep you busy, give your a sense of satisfaction) and eat it early, avoid all electronic devices, read a book if you can.

Then go to bed early.

Try this a few times. After the third attempt for me I started to feel so much more aware and capable. Once you get your sleep pattern back the rest will still require effort to fix, but it will be much easier to manage.

 

[diggmcbadass]

OP, your alcohol consumption is fine.

It's fine for not developing a physical addiction or severe health problems, but it's still enough that it can mess with your sleep quality, which is far from ideal for someone who sleeps as little as OP.

 

[casablanca]

OP,

I think you should work on your eating and drinking habits first.
I went trought a little despression 6 months ago nearly lost my girlfriend and my job.
I spent all my savings to make myself feel better but it didn't work.
When i told my mom about it she asked me how my stomach felt, it was a revelation.
So i changed some of my eating habits (and the WHEY i was taking) , took some herbal medicine to clean my stomach and i felt better , a LOT better.

The lesson that i learnt is to take care of yourself asap, as i was more iritated my friend wher fed up with my assholish attitude , as aconcequence i was isolated and that makes things worst.
So act on your problems !

Good luck.

 

[Cryxo93]

OP, sometimes it takes more courage to say no than to keep carrying on. You know that your life isn't working out for you and that is the first step.
Try and get some balance, manage the stress, try to sleep better, stop drinking (at least wean yourself off it, every drink less per day is a victory), eat better. Take up yoga or something that likewise meditates mind and body. And finally seriously consider whether the career path your going down is what you want. By the sounds of it you dislike it immensly. Do you really want to be doing something you don't really want to do for the rest of your life?

Be proactive and listen to yourself, be kind to yourself.

Edit: Oh and also be open and honest not only with yourself but other people. Sounds like there's been a lot of anger and frustration. Let yourself to acknowledge that rather than fighting and suppressing it. Sounds cheesy but it works.

 

[BannedEpisode]

What numbers? The millions of members who session daily around the world? What group did you attend, if you don't mind me asking?

Also, what religion? I am a member and haven't seen any push for any religion; in fact, we are encouraged and welcome to believe (or not) anything we want and we are respected for it.

The sole purpose of AA is reaching sobriety and helping others reach it, nothing else.

There are specific chapters in our literature dedicated to agnostic or atheist members.

AA does not endorse nor does oppose any religion, political organization or any endeavor for what it's worth.

There's a lot of misinformation regarding AA, the "religion" aspect is really nothing but accepting that we became helpless against our drinking problem, hence we need something, whatever or whoever that may be, visible or insivible, named or nameless, representing a power superior to us because clearly, alone by ourselves we were unable to control our drinking problem. This superior power can be "God", a fellow member, a sponsor, a mentor, etc., anything, anyone but YOU; we believe that it is much harder to succeed at being sober by ourselves. Many of us have tried but failed. I can attest to my sobriety thanks to AA and while it is not a quantity contest, believe me when I say I was a much heavier drinker than you, OP. Tinygaf can testify to this.

Is there spirituality involved? Yes, but I wouldn't in a million drinks equate that to religion.

Also, a doctor co-founded the program. Thanks in part to the efforts of AA, alcoholism was recognized as a disease by the WHO.

AA works, if you work it. OP, don't dismiss what you don't know. There's a solution for alcoholism (defining alcoholism when your drinking affects any aspect of your life). Give yourself the chance, visit the website, familiarize yourself with the program, attend a session; no one can tell you that you have the problem but yourself. Alcoholism is the only disease where the afflicted self-diagnoses by virtue of honesty.

Do you feel alcohol is affecting any aspect of your life? Reach out. To your doctor, psychistrist, priest, family, but don't suffer in solitude.

Hey man if it helped you or a loved one I'm super glad it is working.

“Peer reviewed studies peg the success rate of AA somewhere between five and 10 percent,” writes Dodes. “About one of every 15 people who enter these programs is able to become and stay sober.”

There are plenty of results with a quick google search. This link is to an Atlantic article discussing the subject.

Social support is obviously very important but not allowing yourself access to clinical support for the very real physical aspects of addiction is foolhardy. Relying on a twelve step program, AA or not, is short sighted.

 

[SolVanderlyn]

Hey, I am just checking in to say that I still think I'm fucked up, but I think I'm doing better than I was before, and some of the advice in this thread really helped.

I still have anxiety and all of the problems I mentioned in the OP, but I've started trying to use my time more productively. Instead of looking forward to sleeping or drinking all the time, I started writing. I have a blog I force myself to update daily and I'm writing a novel, which I don't think is particularly good, but I'm 32 pages in, which is more than I've ever managed to get done without quitting before. I did get junior'd for posting too many threads, admittedly many of which had little substance, so I've lost my GAF outlet in that regard, but I think that was also a nice blow to my psyche that I needed because I had very little concept of restraint when it came to expressing my mind in public, which I think made people uncomfortable and contributed to my anxiety.

Basically, I think I am headed towards the right track, even if I'm still not there. Really, really sorry for the blogGAF post, but like I said, some of the advice and support in this thread has really stuck with me and helped, so thank you.

 

[Stevey]

I drink more than you and dont consider it a problem, but yeah, you should get help about the other stuff.

 

[Astral Dog]

Hey, I am just checking in to say that I still think I'm fucked up, but I think I'm doing better than I was before, and some of the advice in this thread really helped.

I still have anxiety and all of the problems I mentioned in the OP, but I've started trying to use my time more productively. Instead of looking forward to sleeping or drinking all the time, I started writing. I have a blog I force myself to update daily and I'm writing a novel, which I don't think is particularly good, but I'm 32 pages in, which is more than I've ever managed to get done without quitting before. I did get junior'd for posting too many threads, admittedly many of which had little substance, so I've lost my GAF outlet in that regard, but I think that was also a nice blow to my psyche that I needed because I had very little concept of restraint when it came to expressing my mind in public, which I think made people uncomfortable and contributed to my anxiety.

Basically, I think I am headed towards the right track, even if I'm still not there. Really, really sorry for the blogGAF post, but like I said, some of the advice and support in this thread has really stuck with me and helped, so thank you.

Happy to hear you are doing better

great that you are trying to focus on doing things that you like but also constructive, and taking medicine.

 

[inked_illusion]

Please seek help, but not from us.

 

[John Kowalski]

Being a junior improved you life?

Must feel grand.

 

[nilbog21]

Sounds like you just need a girl and some ssri's

Sexuality in closet perhaps?