What did he mean by this?
Member
Your dog didnt appreciate you cutting his ties
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I cut ties with my main group of buds.
- Thread starter Skiesofwonder
- Start date
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RyougaSaotome
Member
I'm laughing so hard right now.
RedAssedApe
Banned
i think the dog typed this
gutter_trash
Banned
if you are still in your 20s, it's fine.
friends get married, friend who get married get kids, friend with families move away
in the end, we will end up friendless
it is the circle of life
friends get married, friend who get married get kids, friend with families move away
in the end, we will end up friendless
it is the circle of life
evil solrac v3.0
Member
yo dawg I wanna hear the rest of the story!
BLOODED_hands
Member
The OP is the dog. His human owner caught him typing that post and is now in trouble. We got a dog in trouble. Feelsbadman
I'm in my 30s and this is part of the reason why I tend to befriend people in their 20s. Babies make friends vanish. It's a bummer.
Puppet Shadow
Member
My cat at least knows to hit 'Preview Post' first.
SmackCrackleNPop
Member
Gotta break out the oldie. edited for accuracy.
If it's not threads, it's farts.
Oviously if the dog knew what it was doing, dark theme would be used
PROh1bited
Banned
lastplayed
Member
Man, talk about deja vu.
lastplayed
Member
evil solrac v3.0
Member
I don't think there ever were any friends.
Skiesofwonder
Walruses, camels, bears, rabbits, tigers and badgers.
Updated the OP with the rest of the story, but I get the feeling this thread would have been more entertaining if I never returned..
Complete post:
So I'm originally from out of town. I moved to my current location to attend college, and picked up a job here after graduating last year. When I arrived, I didn't know many people here, except for my girlfriend (now fiance). I made quite a few friends during my college years, but most have moved away since graduating.
Most of my friends I slowly accumulated through the common ground of my major. I had a few different pairs I hung out with, but we never could form a real group because some just didn't get along with each other. One of my friends (friend A) was the major problem because he wasn't particularly liked by the others. Well after graduation, our group finally took shape, but he was left out. He would constantly bug me to include him with the others, but they were hesitant about the idea. But i continued to invite him because he was my closest friend at my current location, and frankly I got tired of pushing him off. Well finally he started to hit it off with the others, and friend A's girlfriend hooked up one of the guys in the group with a friend of hers. So they started to double date, and then eventually we all started to get together as couples.
For awhile at least.
So I'm occupied with work and life with the fiance, and fail to notice that I start to receive less and less invites. I start to see snap stories and whatnot of hang outs that I'm not invited to. Okay, no worries. Then one day another buddy of the group comes over to my place to play some games, and says "you do know that the rest of our group is on a cruise right now... right?". At first I wasn't too shocked, it wasn't like I demanded to be invited to everything. But the more I started to think about it the more it pissed me off. Just a week ago they had invited me over the friend A's house, and I pointed to the calendar on the wall and said "oh cool, you guys (referring to friend A and his GF) are going on a cruise?" and everyone just kinda dodged the question. I didn't think about it at the time, but when my bud brought it my attention I started to think back and I got pretty heated (after a few too many beers). They knew they weren't inviting me, but yet no one said anything....
Two weeks later they go on another trip without inviting me, the fiance, or my other bud. And another after that, plus multiple local get togethers. So at that point I'm like whatever, obviously I misjudged the situation and they weren't really my friends in the beginning. But the next week, friend A has a get together at the apartment pool (yes, friend A moved into the same apartment as us) and decides to invite my fiance and I. So I tell them I have plans that day but I might be able to make it. I wasn't planning on coming, but for whatever reason I figured that was the best reply at the time. So the day arrives, and friend A blows my phone up asking if I am coming. Multiple texts, just constantly bugging me. I tell him I can't. He continues to bug me. So finally I just decided to address the issue and be done with it.
I asked him what was up with the situation, why did he plan multiple trips without inviting us and now he wants us to come to a pool get together? At first he acts like he doesn't know what I am taking about. So I push further. Then he replies with some weak-ass excuses about car spacing and timing, So at this point I just go ahead and tell him that as a friend of 2+ years, to plan multiple trips with our friend group and not even invite us was a dick move. Then he says that he agreed it was a dick move, and I am a good friend, but it wasn't just him making the decision. I didn't reply back, and I still haven't. He has a history of excluding people for no reason, so I just assumed it was him, But maybe it was a group decision. That's the part that hurts the most, not knowing.
So three weeks later, I have only had contact with one of my buds from that group, and it was through snapchat, One of the others works at the same employer, so I bump into him regularly, I'm sure that will be a bit awkward. And of course the whole living in the same apartment thing which is lovely. But my question is did I overreact? Should I have just let it go and not even addressed it? Part of me wants to ask if I can remedy the situation, but I feel like they aren't friendships really worth remedying at this point.
Complete post:
So I'm originally from out of town. I moved to my current location to attend college, and picked up a job here after graduating last year. When I arrived, I didn't know many people here, except for my girlfriend (now fiance). I made quite a few friends during my college years, but most have moved away since graduating.
Most of my friends I slowly accumulated through the common ground of my major. I had a few different pairs I hung out with, but we never could form a real group because some just didn't get along with each other. One of my friends (friend A) was the major problem because he wasn't particularly liked by the others. Well after graduation, our group finally took shape, but he was left out. He would constantly bug me to include him with the others, but they were hesitant about the idea. But i continued to invite him because he was my closest friend at my current location, and frankly I got tired of pushing him off. Well finally he started to hit it off with the others, and friend A's girlfriend hooked up one of the guys in the group with a friend of hers. So they started to double date, and then eventually we all started to get together as couples.
For awhile at least.
So I'm occupied with work and life with the fiance, and fail to notice that I start to receive less and less invites. I start to see snap stories and whatnot of hang outs that I'm not invited to. Okay, no worries. Then one day another buddy of the group comes over to my place to play some games, and says "you do know that the rest of our group is on a cruise right now... right?". At first I wasn't too shocked, it wasn't like I demanded to be invited to everything. But the more I started to think about it the more it pissed me off. Just a week ago they had invited me over the friend A's house, and I pointed to the calendar on the wall and said "oh cool, you guys (referring to friend A and his GF) are going on a cruise?" and everyone just kinda dodged the question. I didn't think about it at the time, but when my bud brought it my attention I started to think back and I got pretty heated (after a few too many beers). They knew they weren't inviting me, but yet no one said anything....
Two weeks later they go on another trip without inviting me, the fiance, or my other bud. And another after that, plus multiple local get togethers. So at that point I'm like whatever, obviously I misjudged the situation and they weren't really my friends in the beginning. But the next week, friend A has a get together at the apartment pool (yes, friend A moved into the same apartment as us) and decides to invite my fiance and I. So I tell them I have plans that day but I might be able to make it. I wasn't planning on coming, but for whatever reason I figured that was the best reply at the time. So the day arrives, and friend A blows my phone up asking if I am coming. Multiple texts, just constantly bugging me. I tell him I can't. He continues to bug me. So finally I just decided to address the issue and be done with it.
I asked him what was up with the situation, why did he plan multiple trips without inviting us and now he wants us to come to a pool get together? At first he acts like he doesn't know what I am taking about. So I push further. Then he replies with some weak-ass excuses about car spacing and timing, So at this point I just go ahead and tell him that as a friend of 2+ years, to plan multiple trips with our friend group and not even invite us was a dick move. Then he says that he agreed it was a dick move, and I am a good friend, but it wasn't just him making the decision. I didn't reply back, and I still haven't. He has a history of excluding people for no reason, so I just assumed it was him, But maybe it was a group decision. That's the part that hurts the most, not knowing.
So three weeks later, I have only had contact with one of my buds from that group, and it was through snapchat, One of the others works at the same employer, so I bump into him regularly, I'm sure that will be a bit awkward. And of course the whole living in the same apartment thing which is lovely. But my question is did I overreact? Should I have just let it go and not even addressed it? Part of me wants to ask if I can remedy the situation, but I feel like they aren't friendships really worth remedying at this point.
RedAssedApe
Banned
dog pls post if you're ok 
I wouldn't say you overreacted, you asked all the questions I'd probably ask, imo.
I've been away from a group of friends for quite some time, and have slowly drifted apart from them. I still keep as friendly with them as possible, even though we don't talk on a regular basis. At the same time, I've gotten with a new group of friends through various means. It really does suck to lose a connection with others you were close with, but it's not too rare these days. Just focus on making new friends and new connections.
Mechanized
Member
Someone poisoned the well and talked shit about either you, your GF, or both of you when they were with the group.
BennyBlanco
aka IMurRIVAL69
evil solrac v3.0
Member
eh..... I'd rather hear more about the dog now.
BLOODED_hands
Member
Pretty much this. Sorry OP
Don't worry, you now have an even better friend in your dog.
Randolph Freelander
Member
Man, that dog can type.
RyougaSaotome
Member
So that I don't just shit in the thread without saying something meaningful:
I don't think you overreacted, OP. I've been there before with an old group of friends, and I found out that yeah, it was mostly a group thing (save for a few cool peeps). Years later I found out that one of the shitty people had poisoned the well completely and everyone just followed blindly.
Sometimes you gotta cut your losses and move on.
I don't think you overreacted, OP. I've been there before with an old group of friends, and I found out that yeah, it was mostly a group thing (save for a few cool peeps). Years later I found out that one of the shitty people had poisoned the well completely and everyone just followed blindly.
Sometimes you gotta cut your losses and move on.
RedAssedApe
Banned
why don't you ask the other dude (that isn't one of the couples) since it sounds like he brought up and knew about the cruise thing?
But our journey to the ultimate brojob was only just beginning...
For you, OP:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QcIy9NiNbmo
Honestly though, we've all been there at one point or another. It hurts. But what else can you do but move on when the other person clearly no longer cares about you?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QcIy9NiNbmo
Honestly though, we've all been there at one point or another. It hurts. But what else can you do but move on when the other person clearly no longer cares about you?
Hickbilly Deluxe
Banned
Less than a uear ago, I lost most of my friends due to a personal deciaion I made that they didnt agree with. And I am honeslty happier without them, despite knowing them all for over a decade.
OP, friends can fall to the wayside for any number of reasons. Sometimes its for the best, but either way all you can really do is just move on with life and not think about it to much. If they exclude you for any reason other than serious legal troubles, they werent good friends to begin with. Jist keep on livong life, youll male new friends.
OP, friends can fall to the wayside for any number of reasons. Sometimes its for the best, but either way all you can really do is just move on with life and not think about it to much. If they exclude you for any reason other than serious legal troubles, they werent good friends to begin with. Jist keep on livong life, youll male new friends.
TickleMeElbow
Member
A's scheming against you as revenge for all those times you blew him off.
exmachina64
Banned
It happens and I've been through it before. We ask ourselves what happened or what we could have done differently, which neglects that others are dynamic -- sometimes it's as simple as someone wakes up one day and doesn't want to be your friend anymore.
It's hard to maintain relationships you made in college after you graduate, just like your high school friendships. People move, get busy with careers, get married and start families, etc.
Just do your best to make new friends and be a good person.
Skiesofwonder
Walruses, camels, bears, rabbits, tigers and badgers.
Pretty much this. Sorry OP
Don't worry, you now have an even better friend in your dog.
That was my first thought. My mind went straight to friend A, like I said he has a tendency to do such things. But shit, why? I have always been inviting and accepting of everyone in the group.
It is the thought process behind the decision that hurts me more than the actual reality of being left out. I could take or leave hanging out my college buds at this point, but why would you actively try to leave someone out?
It's crossed my mind. She doesn't particular like the vast majority of the group, but she doesn't make it known to them. I've also looked back at my role in the group and realized I was more of the "glue" for the group than anything else. Most everyone was there through connections to me, but I wasn't particularly best buds (besides friend A) with anyone in the group. On a one-on-one basis, I only hung with two of the six people. So I guess the group just slowly moved to a point where the glue wasn't particularly needed.
He has been excluded as well. He chalks his own omission up to being single. So he has just learned to accept it and still hangs out with them when invited.
Pinko Marx
Banned
I would have personally confronted them to get the full story at least. Give them a chance to prove you wrong, I guess. BUT it does seem like you got shafted for no reason. Fuggem I guess. Who needs friends anyway?
exmachina64
Banned
Friend A sounds paranoid and insecure about his own place in group settings.
thoseAREmySHOES
Member
I've been in similar situations. Sometimes I've left the group once I realized I was being excluded. The next time I didn't feel as though it was intentional exclusion, kind of like how your friend said "the plans were out of his control" so I stuck with it and eventually started to make it in the core group of friends.
You know how to get the answers, it'll just take more confrontation. The ball is in your court if you want to press forward.
I don't consider that a good sign... but different people have different friendships. I would never consider people that I'm not comfortable with 1 on 1 my friends. We should be able to talk about personal things, hang out, go do things etc.. My comment on page 1 about high school friends was half-kidding, but for me the biggest difference between high school friends and college friends was that. The high school friends would only meet up in groups, and weren't particularly fun to be around 1 on 1. I mean, I'd literally call one up to hang out and he'd say "oh yeah, let me see what ___ and ___ are doing that day." Later, I felt comfortable and could have all sorts of fun with my college friends 1 on 1, whether just talking or doing an activity together. Those friendships were far more rewarding.
This guy is playing a weird in-between game, but at least it sounds like he's still your friend.
Frozenprince
Banned
I'm confused.
Is there anything in your story that involves anything other than drifting away from people because you no longer spend the majority of your day with them?
I mean, you guys drifted away. It happens.
Is there anything in your story that involves anything other than drifting away from people because you no longer spend the majority of your day with them?
I mean, you guys drifted away. It happens.
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