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[Freaky Fred]

1 of 3 things is going to happen

1) You'll end up in the hospital and will have to update us via MobileGAF

2) You'll be spending your days off on the toilet, and will have to update us via MobileGAF

3) You'll wake up tomorrow, hopefully sober and not remember making this thread

 

[Seanspeed]

like 3 drumsticks

You've never had food poisoning have you?

 

[Sadsic]

So were they precooked, or completely raw?

i cooked it a little bit then i was like "fuck it, it's 3am im just eating this now"

then i realized it was very squishy and cold and hard to eat

then i ate it later anyways

then i ate cool whip

 

[ramyeon]

I love my raw meats (Raw beef is one of my favourites) but chicken is one of the meats I wouldn't touch raw.

 

[Sadsic]

it was basically something like this

 

[Charles Foster Kane]

I just don't understand.

 

[Clydefrog]

it was basically something like this

that's already cooked meat though.

you ate raw chicken

 

[Escape Goat]

i cooked it a little bit then i was like "fuck it, it's 3am im just eating this now"

then i realized it was very squishy and cold and hard to eat

then i ate it later anyways

then i ate cool whip

Are you on any drugs?

 

[Sadsic]

Are you on any drugs?

no but i seem to have pretty weird perception from this antidepressant

 

[Persona7]

The freezer gnomes most likely cured the poultry of salmon bacterium.

 

[catmincer]

My cats love raw chicken, i've eaten undercooked chicken and I am alive still.

Good luck OP.

 

[Marvel]

I feel sorry for your toilet for what it is about to choke down.

 

[Zeyphersan]

i cooked it a little bit then i was like "fuck it, it's 3am im just eating this now"

then i realized it was very squishy and cold and hard to eat

then i ate it later anyways

then i ate cool whip

Are you on all drugs?

 

[dc89]

Is it safe to say it wasn't piping hot throughout the meat?

 

[Delta Assault]

The freezer gnomes most likely cured the poultry of salmon bacterium.

Chickens never come into contact with salmon, so he's probably just fine.

 

[Alphahawk]

no but i seem to have pretty weird perception from this antidepressant

You probably need to get into your GP as soon as possible to cover both issues.

 

[Gr1mLock]

Next time rub it in your eyes a little.

 

[TheSinkingKnight]

I once ate a bite of pre-cooked bacon without it being heated up (I thought it was already cooked again) and I worried for days about my health. I think this would literally worry me to death.

 

[Clydefrog]

Yeah, I eat raw chicken on a daily basis and I'm still alive. Good on you!

 

[fredrancour]

Top-tier bad decision right there.

One tiny slice of raw chicken mixed in with an order of fried rice once gave me horrible diarrhea for a week. I didn't swallow it, i merely ate rice that had been in close proximity to it before noticing it was still raw. May wanna consider inducing vomiting now as damage control......

 

[Persona7]

I once ate a bite of pre-cooked bacon without it being heated up (I thought it was already cooked again) and I worried for days about my health. I think this would literally worry me to death.

you have tapeworms

 

[SolVanderlyn]

you have tapeworms

Nah, he's good, OP might have them though.

Someone link that horrifying tapeworm story from a few weeks ago. OP, that's you a few weeks from now.

 

[Escape Goat]

Start drinking water. Every bit of moisture is about to go shooting out your ass over the next few days.

 

[RedBaron17]

i cooked it a little bit then i was like "fuck it, it's 3am im just eating this now"

then i realized it was very squishy and cold and hard to eat

then i ate it later anyways

then i ate cool whip

 

[GingerNathan]

Raw chicken itself won't hurt you, it's the potential bacteria that needs to be killed off with proper cooking so even if it's a bit undercooked if the Salmonella is in the meat it'll still be alive and you're in trouble.

Look forward OP to potential severe diarrhoea, abdominal cramps, nausea, vomiting, headaches, chills, fatigue and fever. If there's blood in your stool or vomit go to the doctors immediately. If nothing has happened after four days you're probably in the clear.

Oh and don't eat under cooked poultry again, that's of course if you get the chance to eat it again...........

 

[StoopKid]

I feel sorry for your stomach.

 

[Persona7]

Nah, he's good, OP might have them though.

Someone link that horrifying tapeworm story from a few weeks ago. OP, that's you a few weeks from now.

is that the one where the tapeworms eat chunks of your brain?

 

[Erico]

What's wrong with you?
You remind me of a screwy kid in middle school who drank a cup of dirty pond water we were supposed to look at under a microscope.

This isn't normal. Don't think that this is normal.

 

[Freaky Fred]

Next time you use the toilet, it's going to be like someone turned on a faucet inside your colon.

You'll try to pinch it off and catch your breath, but there's no stopping the flow, you're just going to have to wait it out.

It will literally feel like someone is pouring a pitcher of hot water through your ass hole from the inside

You might have to puke while you're on the toilet, in which case I hope you have a tub with a wide drain because you don't want to be puking into a bowl of shit water

I'm speaking from personal experience here

 

[JBourne]

is that the one where the tapeworms eat chunks of your brain?

The mother who secretly fed her daughter tapeworms so she would lose weight.

Everyone, at some point in their lives, will wake up next to a toilet full of shit and a bathtub full of vomit.

If you haven't, you've had a pointless life.

 

[Shaanyboi]

like 3 drumsticks

jesus christ

 

[Alphahawk]

The mother who secretly fed her daughter tapeworms so she would lose weight.

That sounds like the plot to a horror movie, not something that actually happens in freakin real life.

 

[Zeyphersan]

Next time you use the toilet, it's going to be like someone turned on a faucet inside your colon.

You'll try to pinch it off and catch your breath, but there's no stopping the flow, you're just going to have to wait it out.

It will literally feel like someone is pouring a pitcher of hot water through your ass hole from the inside

You might have to puke while you're on the toilet, in which case I hope you have a tub with a wide drain because you don't want to be puking into a bowl of shit water

I'm speaking from personal experience here

Ummmmmmmm

Thank you for the insight

I think

 

[bomma_man]

I had intentionally rare chicken in japan.

It was pretty good.

 

[wanderingprostheyltite]

Next time you use the toilet, it's going to be like someone turned on a faucet inside your colon.

You'll try to pinch it off and catch your breath, but there's no stopping the flow, you're just going to have to wait it out.

It will literally feel like someone is pouring a pitcher of hot water through your ass hole from the inside

You might have to puke while you're on the toilet, in which case I hope you have a tub with a wide drain because you don't want to be puking into a bowl of shit water

I'm speaking from personal experience here

My sides.

 

[JBourne]

That sounds like the plot to a horror movie, not something that actually happens in freakin real life.

It's real. We had a thread for it.

 

[Escape Goat]

Next time you use the toilet, it's going to be like someone turned on a faucet inside your colon.

You'll try to pinch it off, but there's no stopping the flow, you're just going to have to wait it out.

It will literally feel like someone is pouring a pitcher of hot water through your ass hole from the inside

You might have to puke while you're on the toilet, in which case I hope you have a tub with a wide drain because you don't want to be puking into a bowl of shit water

I'm speaking from personal experience here

I've had that dilemma before. The expression of its coming out both ends isn't just an expression. I had a bad chicken panini from Panerai to thank for that lovely night.

 

[overcast]

But like why though? OP.

 

[HazySaiyan]

Is this for real? If it is you better get accustomed to your new porcelain throne for the next couple of days cause that's where you'll be staying.

You know what, screw that, go see a doctor. Eating that much can't be good.

EDIT: I can't spell.

 

[Persona7]

Next time you use the toilet, it's going to be like someone turned on a faucet inside your colon.

You'll try to pinch it off and catch your breath, but there's no stopping the flow, you're just going to have to wait it out.

It will literally feel like someone is pouring a pitcher of hot water through your ass hole from the inside

You might have to puke while you're on the toilet, in which case I hope you have a tub with a wide drain because you don't want to be puking into a bowl of shit water

I'm speaking from personal experience here

I think vaseline makes a sprayable product for this situation.

 

[Trojan X]

I second this.

 

[Sadsic]

But like why though? OP.

first it was on accident then it was just some level of laziness and recklessness

 

[Freaky Fred]

I've had that dilemma before. The expression of its coming out both ends isn't just an expression. I had a bad chicken panini from Panerai to thank for that lovely night.

mine was from moldy mac & cheese

after puking and shitting my brains out all day I was exhausted and somehow managed to eat a bowl of soup and crawl into bed without soiling my pants.

I woke up at like 3am soaking wet and realized I puked in my sleep all over my mattress. I felt another one coming up and just let it happen. At this point, I felt the damage was done and I had nothing to lose. I sprayed vomit all over my floor, put a blanket on top of the puke stain on my mattress, and slept at the foot of the bed for the rest of the night.

I couldn't be 50 feet from my bathroom for the next 3 or 4 days

 

[MarkMclovin]

I remember accidently eating a bit of raw chicken in Gran Caneria once. The day after we were out on a pedlow and it just got hit with lower belly pain. Was fucking intense. The 10 minutes it took to paddle back to the shore, and fast walk it back to my hotel was literally the worst 10 minutes ever. I don't think I have ever sweat so much either and it was already a hot day.

Good luck in having 10 times worse than this OP.

 

[Akahige]

Why in the FUCK?

 

[schroddycat]

first it was on accident then it was just some level of laziness and recklessness

Please go and consult a doctor, like now. Poultry is never meant to be eaten raw, not even medium cooked.

 

[i_am_ben]

I think in some Asian countries they eat raw chicken.

 

[-Kees-]

I don't know if this is better or worse than the guy whos friend wanted to eat a 3DS cart.

 

[Cosmic Dreams]

wow. you could've stayed patient and properly cooked the chicken man. better than having to worry about getting all kinds of sick.

 

[Nephtis]

Yep, really representing that avatar.