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[davepoobond]

I like bars fine as long as they aren't really loud and crowded.

But I generally agree with the sentiment in those cases. Would rather not be there. What's the point if no one hears each other and you just have to pretend you do and nod your head to act like you did?

 

[ScreenSplitter]

Pubs/bars where you can socialize, I get that. And if you're with people you like, and their friends aren't total assholes, you can end up having a decent time.

Clubs are shitholes though. I am an absolute grumpy old man when it comes to clubs. Whoever perpetuated the idea that dancing in front of strangers while your ear drums get raped needs to be shot in the head. Three times.

 

[I'm an expert]

I think the point was that introverts don't like small talk... which is definitely true.

If they are going to talk.. they want it to have more substance than "How about that weather? Did you have a nice Christmas?"

That's elevator talk lol. That's not what a typical party/club convo is. Party/club talk is usually about story telling.

 

[killertofu]

This and the drug thread make me think GAF is no fun.

That's your fault you're being antisocial. You don't NEED drinks to talk to people. It doesn't seem like you're complaining about the drinking, you're complaining about the people you're hanging out with.

 

[Angry Grimace]

Pubs/bars where you can socialize, I get that. And if you're with people you like, and their friends aren't total assholes, you can end up having a decent time.

Clubs are shitholes though. I am an absolute grumpy old man when it comes to clubs. Whoever perpetuated the idea that dancing in front of strangers while your ear drums get raped needs to be shot in the head. Three times.

I used to really, really hate dance clubs. But then I decided one day to just invent the dumbest, most over the top dance moves I could pretty much non-stop and it suddenly became a lot more fun. Do chicks there think I'm mental sometimes? Sure, but I also get chicks I don't know asking me to dance all the time.

 

[RangerX]

I love going to the pub. I have the complete opposite opinion to the OP. To me they can have great atmosphere,you can meet really interesting people and bond with friends. Some of my fondest memories are out on the town lightly toasted with the lads and lassies.

If you are'nt happy in that environment in the first place your never going to enjoy yourself,which is cool, I have friends who are'nt really into that scene so they don't head out.

If your GF likes to go out and you don't that could be a problem though.

 

[creationtheory]

That's elevator talk lol. That's not what a typical party/club convo is. Party/club talk is usually about story telling.

My introvert bar talk is usually to make the conversation as awkward as possible just to make it entertaining for me when the other person is uncomfortable.

 

[GulAtiCa]

It's 100% about with the people you're going out with. So there's that....

Yep. I really don't drink much these days. But drinking with good friends, even more so getting drunk with awesome friends, can just be an absolute blast.

 

[Romez]

I'm fine with bars etc what i don't get is people who go out with the intention of getting drunk.

 

[Derrick01]

Decades of marketing have taught people it's what they're supposed to do in order to have fun with friends. You explained it yourself OP, she doesn't even know why she feels the need to go out and buy overpriced drinks or whatever...she just thinks you have to.

 

[IncandescentPrecept]

Socializing in a place with very loud music is very awkward - you can't catch half of what is being said.

 

[besada]

The idea that "introverts" don't like talking to people is way off base. You're describing social anxiety.

Introverts are perfectly capable of talking to other folks, they simply don't need to, like extroverts do. Consequently, when they're getting little to nothing out of small talk conversations (as the OP described), they generally avoid them as a waste of their time and effort.

And many introverts are bothered by loud, obnoxious environments, without the attending anxiety and panic attacks you'd find in someone properly diagnosed with social anxiety. And shyness (a discomfort in social settings that doesn't rise to the level of anxiety or panic) is incredibly often combined with introverted people.

Uncomfortable was probably a bad choice of words on my part, although both shyness and social anxiety dovetail pretty commonly with introversion.

 

[ATF487]

I'm not a social butterfly but I like drinking at bars, provided that I know other people and can talk to them. Also I love booze

I feel like everyone complains about the music being too loud, trying to figure out the reason for it. Maybe it makes everyone drink more?

 

[BossLackey]

Decades of marketing have taught people it's what they're supposed to do in order to have fun with friends. You explained it yourself OP, she doesn't even know why she feels the need to go out and buy overpriced drinks or whatever...she just thinks you have to.

That was my point when I said it, but I got lashed. It's not that I don't adore my girlfriend. I have every intention of spending the rest of my life with her, but you hit the nail on the head there.

 

[Malvolio]

I can understand not having a great time in the scenario, however you probably could have tried harder. I can't understand picking a fight about it afterwards though. This was clearly something she enjoyed, having you second guess her afterwards was a douchey move.

 

[CarpeDeezNutz]

Did you ever answer whether you paid 40 dollars for one drink or was it a round?

Also, sounds like this relationship might not last long. How long have you two been together?

 

[kehs]

…(I don't tend to enjoy dropping $40 on drinks, especially when I only had one beer)…

…

 

[Extra Sauce]

OP made me think of this:

I love that he's the only one wearing a party hat.

 

[lmpaler]

You dont enjoy it because you are introverted.

I have a blast going to lounges, bars and pubs. I enjoy making new acquaintances.

This. So much this.

The whole point is to have a few drinks to take the edge off(get that happy buzz going) and socialize. I know people who I have met through friends and their friends etc, from nights like this and our circle of friends grows bigger.

I can seriously strike up a conversation with anyone about any topic, even if I have absolutely ZERO knowledge of the topic, because I enjoy talking to people and meeting new people.

Social skills are an essential part of life my friend, force your way into a circle next time thus breaking out of your comfort zone, and start talking to these people. Who knows, you could end up having a new best friend in the end and then really enjoy yourself even more when you go out.

 

[MormaPope]

Yeah that $40 for one beer thing is weird, might be the cause of bitterness if you paid for everyone's drinks OP.

 

[Angry Grimace]

Decades of marketing have taught people it's what they're supposed to do in order to have fun with friends. You explained it yourself OP, she doesn't even know why she feels the need to go out and buy overpriced drinks or whatever...she just thinks you have to.

Right, because pubs, music and socializing were unpopular before the Anheiser-Busch company came along.

Asking someone "why they like [something]" is an inherently bizarre question that might or might not have a rational, coherent answer. Its like asking someone why they are attracted to a specific type of person. Her answer wasn't indicative of market-brainwashing anymore than my desire for Mexican food is due to subliminal messages from Taco Bell.

 

[zma1013]

I don't like it mainly because I can't hear anything in there or talk over the noise. The music and/or chatter is so loud, you have to literally, (and I mean the actual definition here), put your mouth about an inch away from someone's ear and yell just to have a conversation. It would be one thing if I could just go drink and talk to people, but I can't even talk to them, it's so loud.

 

[_DrMario_]

Which is the classic definition of that dude who sits on the side of a convo, mindlessly nodding his head while searching for any opportunity to escape. And everyone in the convo can pick up on it immediately. Sometimes it's just a matter of not trying to be so obvious, especially if you have someone else there with you like the op had. I'm sure it was embarrassing for her as she knows her friends probably brought it up after the evening.

Everyone picks up on it immediately and yet they don't do anything to help the situation.

Brilliant.

 

[Muffdraul]

I dunno, man. Human beings in general have been going out drinking together for at least a couple thousand years now, and apparently having a good time doing it. Maybe it's you.

 

[BossLackey]

Did you ever answer whether you paid 40 dollars for one drink or was it a round?

Also, sounds like this relationship might not last long. How long have you two been together?

No, it was 40 dollars total, but I had one beer, where my girlfriend had the rest. I was intentionally not drinking more than that (they were actually pretty big glasses), because she had the flu and kept telling me how she didn't want to be there very long, so I didn't want to drink a lot.

EDIT: Also, as for the last part, we are in no way in trouble of breaking up or anything. We very rarely argue, and the second we got home, I hugged her and said 'I'm sorry' and she did too. We're very good at communication and she realizes that this is one of our differences. We've been together about 2 and a half years and have been living together for a little over a year. We get along at all times. It's funny how posting about one negative instance in a relationship makes some people think the worst, when in reality, it couldn't be further from the truth. We love each other very much. It's just his little rough patch we haven't figured out yet (or rather, I haven't figured out yet. It is my problem, I concede that)

 

[I'm an expert]

That was my point when I said it, but I got lashed. It's not that I don't adore my girlfriend. I have every intention of spending the rest of my life with her, but you hit the nail on the head there.

Oh please lol. I bet I could dissect your life and find a bunch of dumb shit you do because "marketing" told you to. Your girl wants to go out because every once in a while she wants to meet people and show off to friends. Whether it's her style, or new experiences, her boyfriend, people enjoy letting others know how they're doing in life. People go to drink because it relaxes the mood and can be a starting point for experiences that don't normally happen in your everyday life.

Everyone picks up on it immediately and yet they don't do anything to help the situation.

Brilliant.

Some people do, sure. But then you risk offending the person by calling them out and forcing them into their shell even more, especially when everyone's attention is now on them.

 

[Timedog]

Ugh, another interruption to my 3rd Metal Gear playthrough. Fuck me.

 

[killertofu]

No, it was 40 dollars total, but I had one beer, where my girlfriend had the rest. I was intentionally not drinking more than that (they were actually pretty big glasses), because she had the flu and kept telling me how she didn't want to be there very long, so I didn't want to drink a lot.

Break up with her, spend all your nights on GAF.

Problem solved!

 

[Sub_Level]

Which is essentially "I'm afraid of people."

Not at all, actually.

 

[JDSN]

OP made me think of this:

And it has evolved into this now that a couple of kindred spirits have joined:

 

[oatmeal]

If you hadn't just sat back and frowned, and made an effort and was as witty and charming as you claim to be...your girlfriend would have sucked your dick.

 

[AyaisMUsikWhore]

This is how I feel about clubs. I don't see the fun. I don't like being around hot thirty sweaty people who are predominantly there to fuck. I'm a chill person so I can go to a nice lounge and have a drink with some friends and catch up. I hate clubs because they always play the shitty top 40 songs with some amateur remix and it just irks me. I'm not anti sociable by any means and can make friends pretty much anywhere I go if I feel like it but I'm not doing it at a club. A chillwave lounge playing some nice synth, maybe a live band or two.. Or maybe a nice urban neo-soul setting with people casually dressed while sipping some martinis and cocktails, with some nice appetizers is my type of scene.

 

[Devolution]

I don't mean this in a mean way, but its becoming apparent that introversion has become a universal excuse to act anti-social. .

I agree.

And if you're introverted and work on it people assume you're a social butterfly. I fucking wish.

The only way to learn and get better at socializing is to do it not read a walkthrough.

 

[Timedog]

If you hadn't just sat back and frowned, and made an effort and was as witty and charming as you claim to be...your girlfriend would have sucked your dick.

I just don't understand having a girl's mouth on your penis.

 

[dem]

A chillwave lounge playing some nice synth, maybe a live band or two.. Or maybe a nice urban neo-soul setting with people casually dressed while sipping some martinis and cocktails, with some nice appetizers is my type of scene.

Spoiler

Im sorry. I had to. I'm not cool enough to know what a chillwave lounge, or an urban neo-soul setting is.

 

[MormaPope]

I just don't understand having a girl's mouth on your penis.

Marketing.

 

[lmpaler]

I just don't understand having a girl's mouth on your penis.

A key to happiness my friend.

 

[I'm an expert]

This is how I feel about clubs. I don't see the fun. I don't like being around hot thirty sweaty people who are predominantly there to fuck. I'm a chill person so I can go to a nice lounge and have a drink with some friends and catch up. I hate clubs because they always play the shitty top 40 songs with some amateur remix and it just irks me. I'm not anti sociable by any means and can make friends pretty much anywhere I go if I feel like it but I'm not doing it at a club. A chillwave lounge playing some nice synth, maybe a live band or two.. Or maybe a nice urban neo-soul setting with people casually dressed while sipping some martinis and cocktails, with some nice appetizers is my type of scene.

So..you like clubs. The bolded are also "clubs," just not dance/house/trance clubs.

 

[JDSN]

I just don't understand having a girl's mouth on your penis.

Decades of marketing have taught people it's what they're supposed to do in order to have fun with boyfriends. You explained it yourself TimeDog, she doesn't even know why she feels the need to drop your pants and let her suck your dick like a burrowed flute or whatever...she just thinks you have to.

 

[CarpeDeezNutz]

She's probably talking to her friend about how you acted while you talk to us.

What do you want her to do exactly? Dump her friends? Do you want her to leave you be while she goes out with them?

How long has this been an issue?

 

[Angry Grimace]

I agree.

And if you're introverted and work on it people assume you're a social butterfly. I fucking wish.

The only way to learn and get better at socializing is to do it not read a walkthrough.

Exactly - simply brushing it off as "introversion" makes it seem like social skills are an innate characteristic that can't be learned or changed, when that isn't true at all. Tending towards introversion doesn't mean you don't enjoy the company of other people; human beings are social creatures. My wife is that way - she is uncomfortable around people she doesn't know that well, but that doesn't mean she avoids those situations entirely.

 

[Foghorn Leghorn]

Used to have the same problem with my wife's co-workers every friday night for about 1 1-2 years. They would split into little groups and talk about work stuff. So boring and if I would try and join in I would get one word responses. Come to find out after the fact, they thought that I was snobby lol ok.

 

[VanWinkle]

This whole "you HAVE to drink while going out with friends" thing Is TRULY one of the most bizarre mind sets I've ever known. I love hanging out with friends and having fun, and drinking is never involved. Why does it have to be with so many people?

People in here acting like people who don't drink are introverted...what in the world does that even mean!? How does that fact that I don't drink make me introverted? Not a single person I know would EVER call me introverted. It seems like drinking is for introverted people who want to act extroverted.

 

[Mammoth Jones]

Find a relaxing lounge instead of a loud poolhall.

I like drinking. I like socializing. I like going out. What I do NOT like is having to yell over shitty music and other screaming people then having to yell my order to the bartender.

Find a lounge. Less noise. Less people. More relaxing atmosphere where you can actually enjoy your drink and talk.

People in here acting like people who don't drink are introverted...what in the world does that even mean!? How does that fact that I don't drink make me introverted? Not a single person I know would EVER call me introverted. It seems like drinking is for introverted people who want to act extroverted.

Not introverted. Just fucking strange.

Kidding!

But seriously...it's strange...

 

[DUFFMCWALIN]

This whole "you HAVE to drink while going out with friends" thing Is TRULY one of the most bizarre mind sets I've ever known. I love hanging out with friends and having fun, and drinking is never involved. Why does it have to be with so many people?

People in here acting like people who don't drink are introverted...what in the world does that even mean!? How does that fact that I don't drink make me introverted? Not a single person I know would EVER call me introverted. It seems like drinking is for introverted people who want to act extroverted.

Why can't it be involved? Why does it have to be one or the other?

 

[creationtheory]

Used to have the same problem with my wife's co-workers every friday night for about 1 1-2 years. They would split into little groups and talk about work stuff. So boring and if I would try and join in I would get one word responses. Come to find out after the fact, they thought that I was snobby lol ok.

I think social people are more sensitive than introverts.

 

[Devolution]

This whole "you HAVE to drink while going out with friends" thing Is TRULY one of the most bizarre mind sets I've ever known. I love hanging out with friends and having fun, and drinking is never involved. Why does it have to be with so many people?

I have never seen anyone in real life force or continually insist someone has to drink. Drinking is fun for tons of people, so it's easy to assume such and offer drinks.

People in here acting like people who don't drink are introverted...what in the world does that even mean!? How does that fact that I don't drink make me introverted? Not a single person I know would EVER call me introverted. It seems like drinking is for introverted people who want to act extroverted.

The shit people who don't want to drink post makes me think they're extremely uptight not necessarily introverted.

 

[terrisus]

Just gotta find the right kind of drinks for you.

I already did.
Diet Cola.

 

[VanWinkle]

Why can't it be involved? Why does it have to be one or the other?

It just isn't. It's not like we are actively stopping ourselves while we hang out; we just enjoy hanging out both out and at home without drinking. We always have a great time.

The shit people who don't want to drink post makes me think they're extremely uptight not necessarily introverted.

I don't think I have to be all chilled out or something about the subject to be considered not uptight. Do you not have a strong opinion on anything? If you do, would you consider yourself extremely uptight? Or do you only feel that way about peoples' opinions on alcohol?

 

[xxracerxx]

I don't understand drinking alcohol to begin with. Even the smell of it disgusts me.

Do you really not understand drinking booze or just not like the smell/taste?