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[PedroPanache]

I'm sure that the internet has played a huge role in shaping how people want to project themselves, and embellishment or lying is very, very easy on the internet. These things don't exist in a bubble either, so much of that culture has seeped into how people project themselves in real life too.

 

[Two Words]

Do you often mentally rebuke yourself for doing that? Any time I find myself pre-judging someone or making an unfair assumption I try to stop and mentally note my mistake. I find that it helps to at least be aware of those impulses even if I can't stop them to begin with.

I suppose if it is repeated a lot.

 

[Currygan]

nothing wrong with that

 

[zsynqx]

Are you a big liar yourself OP? Not wanting to come across as rude

Edti: Appears you have already answered this earlier in the thread

 

[NobleGundam]

The cake is a lie

 

[kitchenmotors]

I guess it lands into two different categories. There's the "I did this super crazy thing that is really hard to believe" category". For example, years ago a coworker at a retail job claimed to make significant contributions to a popular PS1 emulator.

Then there's the "I've got a story in my back pocket for any situation" person. These people always have a 1-upping story for any situation.

The thing is, I get that others have more interesting lives or have done such unique things. I've done some too. But I rarely feel compelled to share them unsolicited, unlike these cases.

That's entirely on you though and really has nothing to do with other people lying. People are social and like to talk about themselves, which is not a fault. This is how people get to know each other and communicate. If you don't believe stories of things that are interesting in other people's lives because they sound unbelievable, that doesn't automatically make those people liars. Some people are more interesting than you or I.

Sounds like you have some social issues to work through.

 

[jesu]

Only people on the internet.
I'm so cynical there.

 

[AlphaDump]

Does anybody else do this? I feel that I may be too cynical about this. Any time somebody tells me something about themselves that I find kinda hard to believe, I often assume they are lying. If I know they are trustworthy, then I believe them. But if I don't know much of them or have any reason to suspect that they are lying, I'll often assume they are just lying. I don't tend to call them out and just keep it to myself, but you still build a sort of "liar list" over time in your head. I guess a part of me feels that people often lie to sound more interesting and I feel a need to not be caught in them.

maybe you are projecting?

besides trust is built over time.

 

[dity]

I used to think everyone was a liar too, but that was back when I was a pretty sheltered teen with attitude problems. These days I try to have a bit of faith in everyone - plus I've found that having a bit of more faith in people has lead to others more willing to have meaningful conversations with me. Even if someone's using a bit of hyperbole I doubt they're doing it to screw with me, their view of whatever happened is probably just slightly more impressive than whatever took place is all.

 

[Two Words]

That's entirely on you though and really has nothing to do with other people lying. People are social and like to talk about themselves, which is not a fault. This is how people get to know each other and communicate. If you don't believe stories of things that are interesting in other people's lives because they sound unbelievable, that doesn't automatically make those people liars. Some people are more interesting than you or I.

Sounds like you have some social issues to work through.

Save the arm-chair therapist bit.

 

[Fliesen]

Save the arm-chair therapist bit.

you're the one creating a thread asking whether or not others follow the same patterns of thinking, offering to debate the validity of said patterns and the reasons behind them.

And then you get all snippy when someone mentions that might be a symptom of social issues (which everyone has to a certain degree).
which is a reasonable explanation to why you're generally considering 'interesting personal factoids' "lie until proven truth"

you see how many people in here, who think similarly also mention that they are aware of their personal / social insecurities?

 

[Shredderi]

This is my default attitude:

Just kidding.

Do you often mentally rebuke yourself for doing that? Any time I find myself pre-judging someone or making an unfair assumption I try to stop and mentally note my mistake. I find that it helps to at least be aware of those impulses even if I can't stop them to begin with.

I actually find myself doing this a lot. I have lot of insecurities which leads to all kinds of fuckery on how I perceive certain things but I take solace in the fact that I'm really good at recognizing this behaviour and slapping myself for it. One day at a time.

Others have already brought up projection to which you say you're not a big liar yourself. But what if you're lying to us when you say that? Where does this cycle of suspicion end? There has to be an oscar nominated movie about this.

 

[draetenth]

Well, I'm sure everyone has lied about something at least once in their life so technically everyone is a bunch of liars...

 

[kitchenmotors]

Save the arm-chair therapist bit.

Then don't make a thread about your trust issues dude if you don't want people to comment or analyze.

Also my comments are not arm chair therapy, it's called life experience and what I've learned through my own trust issues.

 

[Violet_0]

in a way, liars are more honest

 

[The Spoony Hou]

I'm the opposite. I'm way too trusting of people.

To be fair, I just assume people believe everything they tell me. If that is actually true, it's not for me to judge.

 

[CarpeDeezNutz]

I take most things with a grain of salt.

 

[Shredderi]

Save the arm-chair therapist bit.

An interesting thing to get snippy about when you made a thread about your own trust issues. I mean it's not like this particular arm-chair therapist said anything that was too out-there. Actually sounded pretty reasonable.

 

[Always-honest]

That sounds like a real issue.

 

[disappeared]

I see everybody as truthers.

 

[Super Wario]

According to you we are all liars, so why even ask?

 

[Fliesen]

I'm the opposite. I'm way too trusting of people.

To be fair, I just assume people believe everything they tell me. If that is actually true, it's not for me to judge.

yeah, unless it directly affects you - like lilith said - where's the point in doubting someone ACTUALLY gave birth to a dolphin during their trip to Bali.
Where's the point in doubting they met Chris Pratt in Vegas. Where's the point in doubting they were actually able to count to 100 by the age of 2-and-a-half-years.

It's not like there's anything to be gained from dismissing those as facts, other than compensating for one's own insecurities.

if it makes for a better story and interesting conversation, who the hell cares, really

 

[Violet_0]

the biggest tragedy was that the OP couldn't see he was lying to himself

 

[supernormal]

I get this a lot from people who don't believe a lot of things I do when they first meet me, and they act like the OP, they don't question anything and just assume I'm lying. Then if they stick around and get to see proof of some the things I say they'll be like "oh so that was actually true" - wtf!?

How are people like this?

 

[dity]

yeah, unless it directly affects you - like lilith said - where's the point in doubting someone ACTUALLY gave birth to a dolphin during their trip to Bali.
Where's the point in doubting they met Chris Pratt in Vegas. Where's the point in doubting they were actually able to count to 100 by the age of 2-and-a-half-years.

It's not like there's anything to be gained from dismissing those as facts, other than compensating for one's own insecurities.

if it makes for a better story and interesting conversation, who the hell cares, really

The point's over in the wrastling pit, where we wrastle for it pardner. Now git oiled up, 'cos this'll be one hell of a internet argument.

 

[WhateverItTakes]

Nah I'm the opposite. I see no reason to lie in my life so I assume others feel the same. Leaves me hopelessly gullible but I kinda like believing that people are mostly good

 

[Ryouji Gunblade]

Ask them to prove logically how or why they are not lying to you.

 

[CSJ]

I have this issue at work, but I wouldn't call it an issue in that I'm usually right, but it comes with the job. When you work in IT support you know when people are talking bullshit because it's most of the time.
Now, I don't know if they do it on purpose or it's simple ignorance and stupidity; you don't just clog up your system with all that shit by magic. You don't download stuff? Liar, you clearly did and you admitted nobody else uses the device.

Outside of work I'm not like this.

 

[John Kowalski]

I lie all the time. Like, ALL the time.

 

[Kyoufu]

I lie all the time. Like, ALL the time.

I don't believe you.

 

[The Spoony Hou]

yeah, unless it directly affects you - like lilith said - where's the point in doubting someone ACTUALLY gave birth to a dolphin during their trip to Bali.
Where's the point in doubting they met Chris Pratt in Vegas. Where's the point in doubting they were actually able to count to 100 by the age of 2-and-a-half-years.

It's not like there's anything to be gained from dismissing those as facts, other than compensating for one's own insecurities.

if it makes for a better story and interesting conversation, who the hell cares, really

Exactly. I agree with everything you said.

 

[HotHamBoy]

Every one is playing a character based on themselves.

 

[30yearsofhurt]

sound advice

 

[teruterubozu]

I used to lie more to sound interesting.

This is probably why.

 

[Makai]

When I'm on a date or meeting a new friend and find they share a lot of my interests, I suspect they are being deceitful - not maliciously, just being overly agreeable.

 

[thelatestmodel]

Yeah, I think that's an issue.

My mum is a retired doctor who saw thousands upon thousands of people during her career, often from a pretty rough area of the city.

Her reflections from meeting so many people are that most people are generally good hearted and truthful. There are some people who are actually shitty, but generally that's like 1 out of 10 people, if that. It's best to assume a positive attitude and deal with the shittiness when the time comes. Be aware of it, but don't assume people are always trying to take advantage of you.

Oh, and also remember that there are lot of people out there who are just stupid, and that the vast majority of people actually don't really have all their shit together, and are often just scrambling through life without really knowing what they're doing.

 

[80s Bad Guy]

I wouldn't say liars, but everyone is an opportunist. Skepticism is healthy, but don't let it turn you into a paranoid android.

 

[Sai-kun]

Other people don't always have to lie to be interesting, OP. Lmao

 

[zma1013]

Hello, my name is George. I'm unemployed and I live with my parents.

 

[theJohann]

Save the arm-chair therapist bit.

Two Words, that is rather rude of you, and you are usually quite reasonable to talk to. I think you know what I mean.

 

[GeordieMark]

I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt, but I am far less trusting on the internet. I certainly don't see everyone as a liar though.

 

[Bay Maximus]

uhhhhh

Sometimes I feel like people tend to embellish stories but I don't automatically feel as if everyone is lying to me, no.

 

[Transhuman]

I'm not paranoid but I genuinely think people are trying to gaslight me because their lies seem to be geared to making my life harder.

 

[Warm Machine]

It is not my fault if I post a picture of me having a good time in Vegas and then you create an elaborate fantasy in your mind that I'm destroying at roulette and doing body shots off coked up fashion models. Human projection is just as guilty when it comes to social media.

 

[Two Words]

you're the one creating a thread asking whether or not others follow the same patterns of thinking, offering to debate the validity of said patterns and the reasons behind them.

And then you get all snippy when someone mentions that might be a symptom of social issues (which everyone has to a certain degree).
which is a reasonable explanation to why you're generally considering 'interesting personal factoids' "lie until proven truth"

you see how many people in here, who think similarly also mention that they are aware of their personal / social insecurities?

Then don't make a thread about your trust issues dude if you don't want people to comment or analyze.

Also my comments are not arm chair therapy, it's called life experience and what I've learned through my own trust issues.

Me making a thread about a view I have doesn't mean I'm looking for unprofessional psychological help. I don't have any social issues and it's silly to assume that just because I say I tend to assume people are lying when they say something that is hard to believe.

Two Words, that is rather rude of you, and you are usually quite reasonable to talk to. I think you know what I mean.

I don't appreciate that kind of advice when it comes from many assumptions before the advice. Think about this. The reason I act this way could be because of many different reason. I haven't really given a lot of details in the OP. So to take those few details and assume it is due to some social problem is both unhelpful and rude. It's like assuming somebody who has trouble with a very specific math topic has a learning disorder when all you know is that they have trouble learning a very specific subject.

 

[Messofanego]

I used to lie more to sound interesting. I feel like I don't do it anymore, though I'm sure I shouldnt use absolutes. I feel that I tend to lie more for self-preservation/gain than appeasing others. I think I lie less than the average person, but I do lie.

You might have some guilt of having been a liar before and now have projected that onto everybody else? You mention self-preservation, so it could be a trust issue that you don't want others knowing too much about you.

What is your obsession with absolutes? We get it, you don't like absolutes!

 

[Plywood]

Trust nobody, not even yourself.

 

[kitchenmotors]

Me making a thread about a view I have doesn't mean I'm looking for unprofessional psychological help. I don't have any social issues and it's silly to assume that just because I say I tend to assume people are lying when they say something that is hard to believe.




I don't appreciate that kind of advice when it comes from many assumptions before the advice. Think about this. The reason I act this way could be because of many different reason. I haven't really given a lot of details in the OP. So to take those few details and assume it is due to some social problem is both unhelpful and rude. It's like assuming somebody who has trouble with a very specific math topic has a learning disorder when all you know is that they have trouble learning a very specific subject.

The situations you're describing are social situations. Nothing I said is extremely far fetched.

You're upset at the responses in here because you're projecting your issues onto others. Not everyone is not to lie or mislead you. That isn't the normal response people have when dealing with others. I work with children in a daily basis and while do children lie and exaggerate sometimes, I'm not going to automatically assume everything they say is a lie.

 

[Northeastmonk]

Wasn't it Alan Watts who said that businesses cannot have free enterprise because that would require trust?

Size that down to a more human to human level and you might find your answer.

 

[Messofanego]

I wouldn't say liars, but everyone is an opportunist. Skepticism is healthy, but don't let it turn you into a paranoid android.

Good song, that.