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Identity Crisis

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Who's had one?

Just finished uni and i'm thinking that I have no idea who I am, what I truly believe in, where I want to be, what i'm passionate about and what I want to do with my life.

I like alot of things but I don't love many, I spread myself quite thin in general with relationships, friends and hobbies. I like many genres of music that are all quite different and quite enjoy going to anything from renaissance art galleries to gaming expos. I feel as though as I have plenty of breadth but not much depth in my life. Other people around me seem so sure of who they are!
 
Yeah, I feel like that too.

It's a huge problem for me as I feel I am not interesting seeing I don't have anything I love to the point of being call a passion.
I like and try a lot of stuf, never dwell on them though.

I feel like a person, totally into a music genre, or music, totally invested in a hobby or something he likes will be way more interesting than me for other people.

I feel like a jack of all trades. I can talk and do almost anything, with varying level of success but I'm not an expert or a genius in one field.
 
Newline said:
Who's had one?

Just finished uni and i'm thinking that I have no idea who I am, what I truly believe in, where I want to be, what i'm passionate about and what I want to do with my life.

I like alot of things but I don't love many, I spread myself quite thin in general with relationships, friends and hobbies. I like many genres of music that are all quite different and quite enjoy going to anything from renaissance art galleries to gaming expos. I feel as though as I have plenty of breadth but not much depth in my life. Other people around me seem so sure of who they are!
Click to expand...

well then this is your identity. it's not a bad thing to be an everyman.
 
shinji.jpg

ah come on people. you should have done this in high school
 
If not knowing these things consistently bothers you then you at least know that you're likely the sort of person that needs answers to these questions to feel content.
 
You can define yourself by organizing your life around a few of the things you find most fulfilling. Ideally, creative activities that can lead to concrete accomplishments. Starting your own business, making art, things like that.

Reading some good books can also be a big help when you haven't found your own identity.
 
I feel the same sometimes, I've no passion in life for anything,no goals, and I'm not even sure of the things I like,is one of the reasons I hardly ever have things to talk about because I don't do much of anything and sometimes the things I do I don't like telling, it just feels like my life is a huge contradiction.
 
DominoKid said:
well then this is your identity. it's not a bad thing to be an everyman.
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I guess not, although as someone said before those with passions are generally more interesting.

I seem to be craving a real passion or belief too, I didn't really have much time to think about finding myself while growing up. Just getting through uni was a struggle in itself but here I am.
 
Combine it with depression and social anxiety and you're me. The problem is that I turn 29 this year, and that's making me stress and worry about it even more.
 
Newline said:
Who's had one?

Just finished uni and i'm thinking that I have no idea who I am, what I truly believe in, where I want to be, what i'm passionate about and what I want to do with my life.

I like alot of things but I don't love many, I spread myself quite thin in general with relationships, friends and hobbies. I like many genres of music that are all quite different and quite enjoy going to anything from renaissance art galleries to gaming expos. I feel as though as I have plenty of breadth but not much depth in my life. Other people around me seem so sure of who they are!
Click to expand...


That's pretty normal.

Eventually everyone hits this at some point, and it's not necessarily a problem if this continues to be the case till the day you die.
 
DominoKid said:
well then this is your identity. it's not a bad thing to be an everyman.
Click to expand...

Yes, but if you're like that it's very very hard to identify or to be part of a group or a community.
You're kind of drifting between them, never getting in.
It's hard to relate to people and it's hard for people to relate to you.

You're like that guy that nobody hates and nobody likes because finally you don't have much in common.
They will never come to you first and you won't either.
 
umop_3pisdn said:
If not knowing these things consistently bothers you then you at least know that you're likely the sort of person that needs answers to these questions to feel content.
Click to expand...
I would certainly say i'm very introspective, perhaps even slightly neurotic :)

I'm also from a mixed race family, never felt like I fully identified with England, after living here my whole life.
 
you must seek for the small things that make you feel comfortable and happy. whatever that may be and work towards them. (family? friends? career? hobby? fitness? travelling? lover? people?) maybe a combination of these things or maybe something else entirely.
 
Bossun said:
Yes, but if you're like that it's very very hard to identify or to be part of a group or a community.
You're kind of drifting between them, never getting in.
It's hard to relate to people and it's hard for people to relate to you.

You're like that guy that nobody hates and nobody likes because finally you don't have much in common.
They will never come to you first and you won't either.
Click to expand...

This rings so true to how I am as well, I get into things but hardly ever stick with them, and also in a group of people I'm usually the one who can talk to almost everyone (provided they come to me first) but never gets close to anyone.
 
It's common to feel a sense of loss of who you are after uni, you just gotta move forward and see how the ride plays out.
 
Newline said:
I guess not, although as someone said before those with passions are generally more interesting.

I seem to be craving a real passion or belief too, I didn't really have much time to think about finding myself while growing up. Just getting through uni was a struggle in itself but here I am.
Click to expand...

Honestly, for a long time I looked for the one thing that I could put at the centre of my life. I thought if I found that I wouldn't need to ask for anything else.

I ended up finding it in religion/spirituality (Buddhism, lol). But my life hasn't really changed that much. I guess I do have a bit more conviction than I used to, but things like that don't really change you. Finding something outside yourself, even if it's supposedly something profound isn't going to change much, that's all the product of work and discipline. I guess you maybe need to find the important thing to know what you really want to work at, but in a way that's such a small part of it.
 
Newline said:
Who's had one?

Just finished uni and i'm thinking that I have no idea who I am, what I truly believe in, where I want to be, what i'm passionate about and what I want to do with my life.

I like alot of things but I don't love many, I spread myself quite thin in general with relationships, friends and hobbies. I like many genres of music that are all quite different and quite enjoy going to anything from renaissance art galleries to gaming expos. I feel as though as I have plenty of breadth but not much depth in my life. Other people around me seem so sure of who they are!
Click to expand...

are you me

edit:

Rayis said:
This rings so true to how I am as well, I get into things but hardly ever stick with them, and also in a group of people I'm usually the one who can talk to almost everyone (provided they come to me first) but never gets close to anyone.
Click to expand...

are YOU me??
 
Identity is just another word for ego. What I mean is young people use it to make themself feel unique and special while they aren't. It's bullshit imo.
 
Parallax said:
garbage
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knew you'd show up. let's get this started.

Riposte said:
One of the worst things to ever happen to DC. Not even a setting-wide reboot covers up the stink.
Click to expand...

it moved the characters forward. not every story has to be puppies and sunshine and not everything can be beaten with a punch.
edit: uh.. to stay on topic, I wouldn't worry about it Newline, you will find who you truly are in due time. the fact that you have so many interests just means that you will fit right in almost any place and probably excel.
 
Newline said:
Who's had one?

Just finished uni and i'm thinking that I have no idea who I am, what I truly believe in, where I want to be, what i'm passionate about and what I want to do with my life.

I like alot of things but I don't love many, I spread myself quite thin in general with relationships, friends and hobbies. I like many genres of music that are all quite different and quite enjoy going to anything from renaissance art galleries to gaming expos. I feel as though as I have plenty of breadth but not much depth in my life. Other people around me seem so sure of who they are!
Click to expand...

People are probably sure they know who you are. Let people in and they will see how diverse you are, and you will also see just how expansive other people are as well.
 
I hear you OP. It sucks and it's depressing. I'm just taking the time to figure out what I'm really passionate about and what I'm good at while looking for work. I feel a lot of what everyone is saying about not feeling like I have a depth or passion and having trouble getting close to people. I work everyday to try and get better in those areas. It's tough, but in a way, I'm happy I give enough of a shit about myself to go through it and work. There's a comfort in that, I guess.

MRORANGE said:
It's common to feel a sense of loss of who you are after uni, you just gotta move forward and see how the ride plays out.
Click to expand...

Each day, I'm realizing more and more how true this is. What's helped me is learning that I'm not on some kind of timetable and everyone doesn't work at the same pace. I figure it's better I go through this now than when I'm like 40 or something. I still have time to define my identity and pursue my interests and make moves to have the kind of life I want.
 
Prez said:
Identity is just another word for ego. What I mean is young people use it to make themself feel unique and special while they aren't. It's bullshit imo.
Click to expand...

A lot of people define themselves by their values and what they want out of life which isn't intrinsically egoic unless you use it as a way to draw distinctions between yourself and others to feel better about yourself or something. Really what it offers is a kind of security beyond the exercise of ego and self-comparison because it's just a kind of self-honesty. Finding a person's 'raison d'être' is a noble enough aim I think if people are committed enough to look into themselves without bias.
 
Riposte said:
One of the worst things to ever happen to DC. Not even a setting-wide reboot covers up the stink.
Click to expand...

Nah, Final Crisis is worse. Identity Crisis had some cool twists as a whodunnit, like all the heroes dogpiling on Dr Light and going to extreme lengths to punish him with the mind-wipe. Or leaving footprints in the brain to cause an infarction. Cool tragedy, obviously a bit ripped off from Watchmen, but a good amount of fun.

Although, I don't care about continuity in comics.
 
Easy to feel like you're the only one. I know I'm confronting all those things you listed at the moment as well.
 
Newline said:
Just dropping back in here to say two things.

Problem sorted
Apparently all it takes is half a gram of E
Click to expand...

Drugs can definitely give you perspective. Doesn't have to be the stereotypical hallucinogens either. Experience gives you the most perspective tho.
 
I used to have this problem til I tried to find a way to wrap all my little interests into one whole interest and started a business (barely so far).
I like comics, painting, drawing, graphic design, web design, reading, tech trends, programming, computers, etc. so I'm trying to start a silly little iPad magazine that kind of rounds all those interest up into one thing. If nothing else, it's kept me busy, happy and more or less with a sense of fulfillment and accomplishment for the last year or so. The funny thing is, if your have asked me 2 or 3 years ago, I'd have said starting a business sounds horrible to me.

Maybe it's just a question of bringing together several things you like, OP.
 
i don't even know who i am or what i value. i'm nothing. i'm worse than nothing, i don't even fill the void that nothingness fills. does nothingness fill a void? i'm talking out my ass.
 
Newline said:
Who's had one?

Just finished uni and i'm thinking that I have no idea who I am, what I truly believe in, where I want to be, what i'm passionate about and what I want to do with my life.
Click to expand...

Yes to those, and it sucks. And I don't feel like I will find an answer anytime soon.
 
Colin. said:
Yes to those, and it sucks. And I don't feel like I will find an answer anytime soon.
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I finally made it to the realization I need to stop sitting on my ass waiting for it though. Need to go out there and just do what you think feels right then see where it goes. Sometimes that feels like that's the best I can make of it. Still sucks that I'm stuck at the "have a part time retail job" stage and I can't seem to dig myself out of it even with a Bachelor's degree.

Because if you sit me down right now and ask me what I want for a career, I'll tell you I still have no idea.

Maybe some of us will not live for our work and just work to live instead.
 
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