AKingNamedPaul
I am Homie
Sad part is, his post is the only one I laughed at in this threadShawsie64 said:
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If I was a comedian..
- Thread starter Propagandhim
- Start date
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Tim the Wiz
Banned
If the OP is elaborately constructing an ironic play on his "apparent" lack of humour, then this could be a slightly funny thread. If not, then this is an unmitigated train-wreck.
Cauliflower of Love
Banned
Propagandhim said:
That's what people see in my avaatar? You people sicken me.
It's a dragon making love to a car, jeez.
Stabby McSter said:
The sad thing is that Dane Cook actually had a bit of talent when he started out, but decided to drop his actually funny bits in favor of pandering to the stuff that got the biggest reaction out of the lowest common denominator.
Ned "Carlos" Mencia, however, is a fucking unfunny joke stealing son of a bitch, and I really hope his show gets cancelled so I can watch Comedy Central without having to change the channel in disgust every time they air one of his commercials. The man steals jokes, and then ruins them.
Also, Dan "Larry the Cable-Guy" Whitney is an asshole for not letting his core audience know that he is just standing up there and mocking them.
BlueTsunami
there is joy in sucking dick
adamsappel said:
:lol
I could actually be Colin Quinn if I played up the "Self-deprecation after not being able to deliver a joke" angle. Quinn does that the best.
BlueTsunami said:
They say it takes a comedian years to be able to tell a joke they enjoy themselves (or is it jokes about stuff they like?). And that frightens me.
Makes me think about great comedians like Killer Beez 25 years into the biz trying and failing to make the show Last Comic Standing.
What has this world come to dammit!
A friend of my wife took a stand-up comedy class then began playing comedy clubs around NYC as a side job. She now does it fairly frequently. I've seen her act twice and it wasn't funny at all because she talks about things from her life as if everyone knows all about her. My wife laughs at these things because she understands them, but the rest of the audience is in the dark.
Your Headberg reference is pretty lame if a lot of people don't know who he is. Steve Martin wrote in his biography that knowing ones audience is key to successfully entertaining them.
Comedy coaches will tell you to find something with which the audience can relate then turn it on its ear for a laugh. If you can make audiences relate with you, then turning yourself on your ear becomes funny. This is the way comedians who seem like "average folks" can get big laughs when they make faces. Bill Cosby is one example.
A savvy audience may appreciate insights and observations you make, but that doesn't mean they will laugh at what you're saying. If I were a comedian, I'd try to think of some things that are commonplace then find unexpected and amusing ways to discuss them.
For instance:
"Technology is everywhere now and I suck at it. I tried to surf the web for porn the other day. So I turn the lights down low and take all my clothes off. The computer is on and waiting for me...then I knock the screen over with my surf board. My wife hears the noise and comes into my office to find me naked, standing on a surf board with a broken monitor on the floor then just turns and storms out."
<laugh break>
"I tried to stop her but it was no use. I went to call her on the Blackberry, but just wound up squishing it in my hand. Now I'm naked with berry juice all over me. My mom was horrified! I got the blackberry from her fridge. She told me I should buy a Mac if I'm bad with computers. She also insisted I put some clothes on."
<more laughs>
"I went to the Apple store. I picked up some blackberrys to replace the ones I squashed. I got some apples too. Anyway, I also stopped at the computer place and asked them for a Mac. They showed me a Mac mini but I wanted something more manly looking. I asked for a Big Mac but they said there wasn't such a thing. So I just went to McDonalds and called it a day."
<laughing and applause>
Your Headberg reference is pretty lame if a lot of people don't know who he is. Steve Martin wrote in his biography that knowing ones audience is key to successfully entertaining them.
Comedy coaches will tell you to find something with which the audience can relate then turn it on its ear for a laugh. If you can make audiences relate with you, then turning yourself on your ear becomes funny. This is the way comedians who seem like "average folks" can get big laughs when they make faces. Bill Cosby is one example.
A savvy audience may appreciate insights and observations you make, but that doesn't mean they will laugh at what you're saying. If I were a comedian, I'd try to think of some things that are commonplace then find unexpected and amusing ways to discuss them.
For instance:
"Technology is everywhere now and I suck at it. I tried to surf the web for porn the other day. So I turn the lights down low and take all my clothes off. The computer is on and waiting for me...then I knock the screen over with my surf board. My wife hears the noise and comes into my office to find me naked, standing on a surf board with a broken monitor on the floor then just turns and storms out."
<laugh break>
"I tried to stop her but it was no use. I went to call her on the Blackberry, but just wound up squishing it in my hand. Now I'm naked with berry juice all over me. My mom was horrified! I got the blackberry from her fridge. She told me I should buy a Mac if I'm bad with computers. She also insisted I put some clothes on."
<more laughs>
"I went to the Apple store. I picked up some blackberrys to replace the ones I squashed. I got some apples too. Anyway, I also stopped at the computer place and asked them for a Mac. They showed me a Mac mini but I wanted something more manly looking. I asked for a Big Mac but they said there wasn't such a thing. So I just went to McDonalds and called it a day."
<laughing and applause>
Dark Octave
Banned
Andy Kauffman didn't consider himself a comedian though.Evander said:
Cauliflower of Love
Banned
AlexMogil said:
and boy were my legs tired.
*rimshot*
It's all in the delivery. If I were a comedian, I'd yell that story at my audience until they felt very uncomfortable and awkward. This would compell them to laugh. I'd then send a tape of it all to Comedy Central and get a half-hour stand-up special in which I said the most outrageous and shocking things. This would create buzz and get me my own regular show where I could bomb and steal material from other comics. This would cause a huge backlash against me but I'd already have made my money and signed a lucrative contract with some ad agency.Uncle said:
I love show-biz!
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