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IGN Strikes Again: What Nintendo Can Learn From Catherine.
- Thread starter IceDoesntHelp
- Start date
corporate cheerleader
Member
Jocchan said:
He is, it was a pretty recent thread.
Dr.Palutena
Member
jman2050 said:
parody of another poster.
DoomXploder7 said:
Oh hey here it is: http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=30641455&postcount=633
Funny thing is the parody is very slightly less stupid than the original.
PairOfFilthySocks said:
Even if it were and even if it is a children's game it wouldn't make me any difference. When I became an adult I stopped spending all of my time trying to make sure I imitated one the way I did when I was a boy.
Doesn't get much more clear than that.
Edit: Trolling? Well, he got me fair and square.
SkyMasterson
Member
Nintendo has enough block puzzle games as is.
Also I heard the story turns into batshit anime crazy levels towards the end of the game.
Based on the demo, I will not waste my time with Catherine.
I feel like sometimes people ride Atlus's dick too hard. Like I appreciate what they do and the chances they take and how they reward people who purchase their games(first run copies having CD's, artbooks, etc).
But that doesn't mean every single Atlus release is gold.
Also I heard the story turns into batshit anime crazy levels towards the end of the game.
Based on the demo, I will not waste my time with Catherine.
I feel like sometimes people ride Atlus's dick too hard. Like I appreciate what they do and the chances they take and how they reward people who purchase their games(first run copies having CD's, artbooks, etc).
But that doesn't mean every single Atlus release is gold.
ShockingAlberto
Member
Why Nintendo needs to make the games everyone else is making because no one else is making those games by IGN
CartridgeBlower
Member
Someone needs to start keeping track of the OPs who post IGN links and see if it's the same two or three people every time. Crack this viral deception.
ShockingAlberto
Member
Catherine is legitimately amazing in a way very few video games are. Because of this, it will turn so many people off because it turns out that being really different means that it operates outside of traditional norms of, well, game design. Things people play video games for are generally not the things people will enjoy about Catherine.SkyMasterson said:
But I think it does more to move forward my personal perception of the medium than a hundred improving Gears of War titles and it has nothing to do with who made it.
Then again, we've had threads in here with similar arguments like "Why Assassin's Creed 2 is everything I want from a new Legend of Zelda"; so is not like it's exclusive to IGN. 
No offense to PhoenixDark.
Acquiescence
Member
darscot said:
Last I heard, it was Atlus' best selling game.
D
Deleted member 74300
Unconfirmed Member
Ah much better.
Leon S. Kennedy
Member
shuri said:
This needs to be repeated. Catherine was an overhyped niche game. Its a simple puzzle game with cut scenes thrown into into it. Nintendo could just throw in some cut scenes into the next Picross and have a better game.
AbsoluteZero
Banned
PairOfFilthySocks said:
...wow.
I just. Holy crap.
Edit: Ah, NeoGAF meme. Egg all ovah mah face.
Rodney McKay
Member
There's totally regenerating health in Mario 64. Just go swimming!uchihasasuke said:
The Technomancer
card-carrying scientician
Top Ten most Oscar-worthy friends in videogames.
Yeah, I could totally see that one.
Yeah, I could totally see that one.
SkyMasterson
Member
ShockingAlberto said:
That was a well written response and I respect your opinion and I'll even say I agree that the adult themes, with relationships are nice and pretty refreshing for a video game.
With that said, this game is probably geared more for anime/hentai people, not really my thing , especially when you have block puzzles as the main gameplay element.
Now maybe my opinion will change if/when I play the full game, maybe I'll get the game when it his $15 or so.
Actually my friend wants to get this game really bad, so maybe I'll just watch him play it.
Nocturnowl
Member
I present to you good people straight from the generator!
The top10 5 most out of nowhere guitars in videogames!
HM: Super Scribblenauts: nothing's more unexpected than a arachnophobic, polka dot, giant, flying guitar, except that you're the one typing those details in so I guess it's very expected.
5. I-No (Guilty Gear series)
So say you've just dragged yourself through the arcade mode of Guilty Gear XX or whatever of the billion iterations of the same game necessary for this point to work, you've been walloped by anchors, sliced by many swords and....whatever the hell crazy stuff Faust threw at you (unless of course you got a perfect in every round you spoilsport).
Point is after going through all of this you reach the final showdown, the ultimate test awaits you. Then this witch chick appears, surely there's some dark magic coming into play right? well no, in fact she pulls out a guitar as her weapon of choice, a guitar.
Look if she's planning on making your ears bleed with generic metal music then i've got news for her, i've already survived the games brutal buttrock soundtrack so she can't possibly do any worse (trollolololol!).
Actually she decides that the best plan is to start hitting you with it and shooting some random ass projectiles out of it, hey here's a better idea, a machine gun! I direct you to Call of Duty you silly old mare, that's where the real weapons lie!
4. Jealous Bass (Mother 3)
Unexpected because Nintendo don't expect you to play this game! AHAHAHA!
Seriously though what in the blue hell is this? Trawling through some filler attic section of the game you eventually come across the boss of the area, but this is the mother series that's renowned for being as random as the IGNerator so it's not your typical and sensible boss. Nope it's a pissed off Bass guitar that is going to take its rage out on you! Yeah whatever Nintendo, you stick to your kiddy fisher price style boss designs while i'll be over here playing some real hardcore bosses! like a soldier that has more health than the standard, you can learn from this Ninty.
3. Fake Guitar (WWE Smackdown Vs Raw series)
Wrestling makes no sense to begin with, but this goes one step further. My oiled up tights wearing chap has numerous options to maim his foe, the sledgehammer? oh yes that's a good one for murder or maybe a classic steel chair will do nicely.
But somehow when searching under the ring you can pull out a guitar, for what reason would this be under the ring? well I guess those wrasslin folk may have some weird gimmicks like a country music singer, jeez imagine someone like that founding a company, creepy stuff. Point is if you want to win just use the hammer, using a guitar that seems to be made of dust just seems illogical and I can't function without heaps of realism. Hopefully THQ/Yukes will take realism into account in the future when making their WWE games.....
2. Dixie Kong's random guitar out of nowhere (DKC2)
Back in the 90's everything was about edgy cool attitude and stuff. So Rare did the unthinkable, first of all they tarted up some monkey with earrings, mascara and blonde hair because they're odd like that. And following this I discovered the obligatory "rock guitar" reference for the cool kids (PS: Not really cool).
When finishing a stage Dixie Kong will pull a guitar literally from her backside (wtf Rare?!) and play a small guitar riff, this warrants a number 2 spot because I want to believe the guitar actually comes out of nowhere and not from you-know-where. And it's also most certainly not this high because the writer has some kind of insane love for the game, nope nothing suspicious here.
1. Klavier Gavin's air guitar (Apollo Justice Ace Attorney)
First of all Klavier means Piano so why this eurotrash took up rock music I haven't a damn clue, his parents must be very disappointed since they chose to name him after a vastly superior instrument.
But he's not just a rocker, he's also a prosecutor who likes to make fun of big foreheads and act like a smug git yet at the same time is more than willing to help you along and screw up his own case.
But his role in this glorious countdown is one so crazy it makes me want to commit murder, but if I did he may end up prosecuting me so i'd only suffer the stupidity again.
At random intervals our musically minded madman just breaks out an air guitar motion in the middle of court, IN COURT! What kind of judge takes this crap? Things take a step further though because you can actually hear a guitar being played when there is clearly nothing in the mans hands and then BOOM penalty Mr Justice.
So to review we have a deluded prosecutor who busts out guitar solos in the middle of court that can help towards a guilty verdict without actually holding a guitar.
And since this is a court based game after all I have proof!
Disclaimer: anything insulting towards a franchise here is purely jest, please don't take things too seriously, I have no problems with the guilty gear music! just don't hurt me!
Oh and I expect many spelling errors within.
The top
HM: Super Scribblenauts: nothing's more unexpected than a arachnophobic, polka dot, giant, flying guitar, except that you're the one typing those details in so I guess it's very expected.
5. I-No (Guilty Gear series)
So say you've just dragged yourself through the arcade mode of Guilty Gear XX or whatever of the billion iterations of the same game necessary for this point to work, you've been walloped by anchors, sliced by many swords and....whatever the hell crazy stuff Faust threw at you (unless of course you got a perfect in every round you spoilsport).
Point is after going through all of this you reach the final showdown, the ultimate test awaits you. Then this witch chick appears, surely there's some dark magic coming into play right? well no, in fact she pulls out a guitar as her weapon of choice, a guitar.
Look if she's planning on making your ears bleed with generic metal music then i've got news for her, i've already survived the games brutal buttrock soundtrack so she can't possibly do any worse (trollolololol!).
Actually she decides that the best plan is to start hitting you with it and shooting some random ass projectiles out of it, hey here's a better idea, a machine gun! I direct you to Call of Duty you silly old mare, that's where the real weapons lie!
4. Jealous Bass (Mother 3)
Unexpected because Nintendo don't expect you to play this game! AHAHAHA!
Seriously though what in the blue hell is this? Trawling through some filler attic section of the game you eventually come across the boss of the area, but this is the mother series that's renowned for being as random as the IGNerator so it's not your typical and sensible boss. Nope it's a pissed off Bass guitar that is going to take its rage out on you! Yeah whatever Nintendo, you stick to your kiddy fisher price style boss designs while i'll be over here playing some real hardcore bosses! like a soldier that has more health than the standard, you can learn from this Ninty.
3. Fake Guitar (WWE Smackdown Vs Raw series)
Wrestling makes no sense to begin with, but this goes one step further. My oiled up tights wearing chap has numerous options to maim his foe, the sledgehammer? oh yes that's a good one for murder or maybe a classic steel chair will do nicely.
But somehow when searching under the ring you can pull out a guitar, for what reason would this be under the ring? well I guess those wrasslin folk may have some weird gimmicks like a country music singer, jeez imagine someone like that founding a company, creepy stuff. Point is if you want to win just use the hammer, using a guitar that seems to be made of dust just seems illogical and I can't function without heaps of realism. Hopefully THQ/Yukes will take realism into account in the future when making their WWE games.....
2. Dixie Kong's random guitar out of nowhere (DKC2)
Back in the 90's everything was about edgy cool attitude and stuff. So Rare did the unthinkable, first of all they tarted up some monkey with earrings, mascara and blonde hair because they're odd like that. And following this I discovered the obligatory "rock guitar" reference for the cool kids (PS: Not really cool).
When finishing a stage Dixie Kong will pull a guitar literally from her backside (wtf Rare?!) and play a small guitar riff, this warrants a number 2 spot because I want to believe the guitar actually comes out of nowhere and not from you-know-where. And it's also most certainly not this high because the writer has some kind of insane love for the game, nope nothing suspicious here.
1. Klavier Gavin's air guitar (Apollo Justice Ace Attorney)
First of all Klavier means Piano so why this eurotrash took up rock music I haven't a damn clue, his parents must be very disappointed since they chose to name him after a vastly superior instrument.
But he's not just a rocker, he's also a prosecutor who likes to make fun of big foreheads and act like a smug git yet at the same time is more than willing to help you along and screw up his own case.
But his role in this glorious countdown is one so crazy it makes me want to commit murder, but if I did he may end up prosecuting me so i'd only suffer the stupidity again.
At random intervals our musically minded madman just breaks out an air guitar motion in the middle of court, IN COURT! What kind of judge takes this crap? Things take a step further though because you can actually hear a guitar being played when there is clearly nothing in the mans hands and then BOOM penalty Mr Justice.
So to review we have a deluded prosecutor who busts out guitar solos in the middle of court that can help towards a guilty verdict without actually holding a guitar.
And since this is a court based game after all I have proof!
Disclaimer: anything insulting towards a franchise here is purely jest, please don't take things too seriously, I have no problems with the guilty gear music! just don't hurt me!
Oh and I expect many spelling errors within.
One gets the feeling that IGN Nintendo writers, and Nintendo haters in general (not critics, out-and-out haters) were bullied in high school for liking Nintendo games, and somehow blame Nintendo for it.
"It's not me, it's Nintendo that needs to change! It's their fault I'm not cool and mat00r! Waaaaah, why is Mario such a fruity fatass? Why isn't he ripped like John Cena, shagging Peach doggy-style while firing a huge machine gun at giant KoopaTaliban OPFOR Turtle Robots? With IRON SIGHTS, none of that Aim Assist bullshit! Why isn't he MATURE? It's all Nintendo's fault! Teh KIDDIEZ! NEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRDD RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGEE"
At least, that's what it looks like from here.
Edit: Damn, perfect timing.
"It's not me, it's Nintendo that needs to change! It's their fault I'm not cool and mat00r! Waaaaah, why is Mario such a fruity fatass? Why isn't he ripped like John Cena, shagging Peach doggy-style while firing a huge machine gun at giant Koopa
At least, that's what it looks like from here.
Edit: Damn, perfect timing.
AcceptableGhost
Member
I am not even going to click the link to give them traffic. Will IGN please stop this shit?
Fine Ham Abounds
Member
Well, I guess you could argue Catherine was occasionally "Nintendo Hard."
Catherine is this great game that I have to pace myself with. I want to see what happens next story-wise, but between the controls and the frequent 30 minute intervals where I can't figure out what the hell to do next, I end up taking 3 day breaks in between stages.ShockingAlberto said:
Thunder Monkey
Banned
Holy crap Jocchan I'm laughing my ass off over here!
Captain Chaos
Member
Cipherr said:
Yeah, I rated this guy ever since that 'sweets for my sweet' tune.
On topic, silly article.