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[Zozz]

Woke up this morning

Turned on my phone

I have two voicemails from her.

They're each about 30 seconds long.

Not sure I want to listen to em, I'll go to work and think about it.

I called up her BF, told him I didn't like him and I don't want to chill today. I said what I said to her, because she's also my friend. He sounded frustrated, I definitely riled up suspicions, I told him to get over it, I didn't make any moves on her, never did. He believed it, I just told him to be a bit more attentive and left it at that.

Girl 2 will come over tonight, not gonna think about it too much, I'll just roll with it.

 

[Rhaegar]

Can I get a summary? Is it just more typical GAF Simping?

Quoting my earlier summary:

"OP friendzoned by Girl #1, didn't make a move so his alpha friend moved in and started dating her. OP plots behind friend's back and continues to be girl #1's emergency dick in a jar.

Later, after having his man-card revoked, OP concocts a story regarding a girl #2 who is an alleged fuck buddy that is now into him. Oh, she's also friends with girl #1 and all 3 of them talk about every aspect of their relationships with the others.

By the way, girl #2 has a boyfriend, but is ready to ditch him for OP.

Oh, I forgot. OP slept with girl #1 prior to her hooking up with his friend. It was casual though, so naturally this would not come up until about 300 posts into the thread.

Actually, OP has either kissed or fucked all his female friends.

Later he spills his feelings for the girl who pats him on the head and sends him home. He ain't mad. She tells her boyfriend (his ex-friend) who "knows those feels" and offers to "smoke him up". Now they're best friends again and he never wanted to steal the girl.

Drinking rum, the OP later receives a text message from girl #1 indicating she needs some time to think and is second-guessing her answer. His dick is stil effectively pickled on her shelf.

For some reason, this all makes him more convinced he should make girl #2 leave her boyfriend for him. Because he's mature.

Also, FailWheelDrive has been exposing our brave OP all night."

 

[Pastry]

Woke up this morning

Turned on my phone

I have two voicemails from her.

They're each about 30 seconds long.

Not sure I want to listen to em, I'll go to work and think about it.

I called up her BF, told him I didn't like him and I don't want to chill today. I said what I said to her, because she's also my friend. He sounded frustrated, I definitely riled up suspicions, I told him to get over it, I didn't make any moves on her, never did. He believed it, I just told him to be a bit more attentive and left it at that.

Girl 2 will come over tonight, not gonna think about it too much, I'll just roll with it.

So wait a second... Your bro was okay with being chill with you after you unsuccessfully tried to swoop in on his girl and now you tell him naw you're a dick? Hahahaha

 

[Rhaegar]

I have two voicemails from her.

No, you really didn't.

But I appreciate your hard work in trying to keep this thread relevant.

 

[Count Dookkake]

So wait a second... Your bro was okay with being chill with you after you unsuccessfully tried to swoop in on his girl and now you tell him naw you're a dick? Hahahaha

To be fair, it's the only way he can deny someone something. It's almost like winning when all you are doing is losing.

 

[No Love]

Go on...

Damn skippy you can.

Yes.

Yes, you can.

You're the gift that keeps on giving.

And away we...go!

No




But you can PM them to me.

Ok so the story goes... there was this girl last year that I met, she was of average looks, but she was down to be a bad girl so I'm like 'ok, I can deal with this.' I was sort of sex-crazy at the time and was hooking up with quite a few girls.

Anyways, so she's like 'Ok, I'll get a ride from my friend over there.' Later, she says the guy her friend is supposed to hang out with is being a flake. I jokingly suggest that she should bring her friend too and we can all fuck.

She then says 'hmm, let me show my friend your pics', sends a pic of both of them together (her friend is wayyy cuter in the pic than she is), and she goes 'my friend says she's down.'

"Fucking awesome!", says I. Thing is, I didn't realize how hot and uh... *stacked* her friend is until they arrived. They arrived at around midnight, and this is what I got an eyeful (and more) of:

Edited pics out

She wasn't that dressed up, mind you. She was in a hoodie but still looked incredible. We drink some vodka, we all fuck til 6 in the morning, I leave my apartment with my arms around both of them and walk them back to their car and tell them goodnight.

And yes, they're real.

 

[ginger ninja]

also, OP said girl A tellw everything about their hookups to his bf which would presumably include the casual sex part..and his bf is ok with it ?

man this is like mgs4 storyline, soon OP is gonna tell us it was nanomachines all along

 

[EsotericManiac]

Sounds like a fantastic summary and I must say the OP sounds like a person I wouldn't want to be friends with or allow into my house.

GOOD DAY SIR

 

[freenudemacusers]

Woke up this morning

Turned on my phone

I have two voicemails from her.

They're each about 30 seconds long.

Not sure I want to listen to em, I'll go to work and think about it.

I called up her BF, told him I didn't like him and I don't want to chill today. I said what I said to her, because she's also my friend. He sounded frustrated, I definitely riled up suspicions, I told him to get over it, I didn't make any moves on her, never did. He believed it, I just told him to be a bit more attentive and left it at that.

Girl 2 will come over tonight, not gonna think about it too much, I'll just roll with it.

Just hold on to the voicemails for a few months, then decide if you want to listen to them.

 

[Hari Seldon]

This is not a sound plan, how did you know she wasn't crazy?

Well we dated for 4 years before the wedding. Basically my advice for anyone friendzoned is to distance yourself from the girl for a period of months, and use the simping as motivation to improve yourself.

 

[kirblar]

Holy shit this is 100% textbook friendzoning + keeping on the hook. You're her fallback plan. I'd feel bad for you except you literally did the exact same thing to girl #2.

THIS. Earlier I said you needed to find out whether she was legit, or just stringing you along.

With that phone call, you now have the answer. You're her fallback plan. Get away from her, and let your feelings for her fade away. You need to be looking elsewhere. Don't be a parachute. If she wants you, she'll break up w/ the other dude and come after you. You were already Girl 2's back up plan, don't be Girl 1's as well.

 

[CrankyJay]

Woke up this morning

Got yourself a gun...mama always said you be the chosen one.

 

[kurbaan]

Woke up this morning

Turned on my phone

I have two voicemails from her.

They're each about 30 seconds long.

Not sure I want to listen to em, I'll go to work and think about it.

I called up her BF, told him I didn't like him and I don't want to chill today. I said what I said to her, because she's also my friend. He sounded frustrated, I definitely riled up suspicions, I told him to get over it, I didn't make any moves on her, never did. He believed it, I just told him to be a bit more attentive and left it at that.

Girl 2 will come over tonight, not gonna think about it too much, I'll just roll with it.

LMAO OP now you just firing blanks. Post the voice mails online so we can judge.

 

[Pastry]

Ok so the story goes... there was this girl last year that I met, she was of average looks, but she was down to be a bad girl so I'm like 'ok, I can deal with this.' I was sort of sex-crazy at the time and was hooking up with quite a few girls.

Anyways, so she's like 'Ok, I'll get a ride from my friend over there.' Later, she says the guy her friend is supposed to hang out with is being a flake. I jokingly suggest that she should bring her friend too and we can all fuck.

She then says 'hmm, let me show my friend your pics', sends a pic of both of them together (her friend is wayyy cuter in the pic than she is), and she goes 'my friend says she's down.'

"Fucking awesome!", says I. Thing is, I didn't realize how hot and uh... *stacked* her friend is until they arrived. They arrived at around midnight, and this is what I got an eyeful (and more) of:

She wasn't that dressed up, mind you. She was in a hoodie but still looked incredible. We drink some vodka, we all fuck til 6 in the morning, I leave my apartment with my arms around both of them and walk them back to their car and tell them goodnight.

And yes, they're real.

You've become the most entertaining part of this thread. Hopefully your career on GAF is as illustrious as your first two months.

 

[Arment]

And yes, they're real.

She's a model? Cus TinEye pulls one up from a modeling website. And her name is on there.

 

[ginger ninja]

holy jackpot junior member, but yea be careful with them pics bro...its the internet, u can never be too careful..also one of them pics may be NSFW

 

[Rhaegar]

Ok so the story goes...

I am now your devoted acolyte. Thanks for bringing some nonfiction into this thread.

 

[kingofkingz30]

YOLO

 

[Zozz]

So wait a second... Your bro was okay with being chill with you after you unsuccessfully tried to swoop in on his girl and now you tell him naw you're a dick? Hahahaha

The thing is, I didn't try to swoop her away, that was never my intention. It's been about honesty and trying to find out her intentions, why she does the things she does.

Right now, it seems like she's looking into herself.

He knows why we haven't hung out for months, neither of us ever talked about It till today, he gets it though why were not in speaking terms and won't be a while.

 

[Zen_Arcade]

Everyone shut the fuck up about OP and his attention whoring about nothing. This thread should now be about this guy and whatever other stories he has. This story shit over the past 15 pages from a great height.

 

[Pastry]

Yes, she's a low-ranking professional model trying to make her mark. You can find her on ModelMayhem. She needs to add more pics though, she has wayyyyy sexier pictures on Facebook and Instagram.



That's her alright. Be kind, Detective-GAF, no stalker stuff please.

It's not detective GAF you should worry about but non-registered lurkers.

 

[Subtle]

I don't know what's less believable. The threesome story, or that girl #2 actually exists?

 

[Plywood]

That's her alright. Be kind, Detective-GAF, no stalker stuff please.

You're good, I only know how to reverse image search.

 

[Artanisix]

Quoting my earlier summary:

"OP friendzoned by Girl #1, didn't make a move so his alpha friend moved in and started dating her. OP plots behind friend's back and continues to be girl #1's emergency dick in a jar.

Later, after having his man-card revoked, OP concocts a story regarding a girl #2 who is an alleged fuck buddy that is now into him. Oh, she's also friends with girl #1 and all 3 of them talk about every aspect of their relationships with the others.

By the way, girl #2 has a boyfriend, but is ready to ditch him for OP.

Oh, I forgot. OP slept with girl #1 prior to her hooking up with his friend. It was casual though, so naturally this would not come up until about 300 posts into the thread.

Actually, OP has either kissed or fucked all his female friends.

Later he spills his feelings for the girl who pats him on the head and sends him home. He ain't mad. She tells her boyfriend (his ex-friend) who "knows those feels" and offers to "smoke him up". Now they're best friends again and he never wanted to steal the girl.

Drinking rum, the OP later receives a text message from girl #1 indicating she needs some time to think and is second-guessing her answer. His dick is stil effectively pickled on her shelf.

For some reason, this all makes him more convinced he should make girl #2 leave her boyfriend for him. Because he's mature.

Also, FailWheelDrive has been exposing our brave OP all night."

this definitely happened

 

[freenudemacusers]

It's not detective GAF you should worry about but non-registered lurkers.

^^

 

[Flying Toaster]

You're good, I only know how to reverse image search.

I read that as reverse cowgirl at first...

That would have been equally as good as reverse image searching.

 

[AlphaSnake]

What I learned from this thread is that: Zozz is the epitome of a dipshit scumbag and so are his circle of friends, who are just a pile of backstabbing immature assholes.

FailWheelDrive is my boy and has my respects for spitting truth.

 

[No Love]

I don't know what's less believable. The threesome story, or that girl #2 actually exists?

Why would I lie about a threesome? And besides, I've given more than enough proof, any more proof would be a huge violation of her privacy. I'm not going to give out her phone number, her FB link, etc etc.

What I learned from this thread is that: Zozz is the epitome of a dipshit scumbag and so are his circle of friends, who are just a pile of backstabbing immature assholes.

FailWheelDrive is my boy and has my respects for spitting truth.

An Alpha has spoken! *fistbump*

 

[Flying Toaster]

Poor girl. Your need to brag. Means she'll probably have perverts and white knights bothering her and trying to hack her instagram and facebook.

You really should keep these things to yourself.

This is GAF if you say your going to drop pictures of someone you drop pictures of someone.

 

[No Love]

Poor girl. Your need to brag. Means she'll probably have perverts and white knights bothering her and trying to hack her instagram and facebook.

You really should keep these things to yourself.

She already has perverts and white knights on FB/Instagram. She just deletes them. All of her stuff is private. She can handle herself just fine. I'd argue that you're trying to white-knight right now, if we're going to get technical. Anyways, that was my story, it's just for fun, and I can follow up with her and ask if her white knight/pervert attract rate has gone up in the next week. Fair enough?

 

[Dabanton]

She already has perverts and white knights on FB/Instagram. She just deletes them. All of her stuff is private. She can handle herself just fine. I'd argue that you're trying to white-knight right now, if we're going to get technical. Anyways, that was my story, it's just for fun, and I can follow up with her and ask if her white knight/pervert attract rate has gone up in the next week. Fair enough?

So you're both attention seekers got it.

I shall leave my point there.

 

[LyleLanley]

His dick is stil effectively pickled on her shelf.

I may be late to this thread, but this is fucking hilarious.

 

[No Love]

So you're both attention seekers got it.

I shall leave my point there.

Whatever you'd like to think. But at least my story is true. And I'm not here to make myself feel better, just contributing something more interesting and valid. Take it as you will.

 

[Flying Toaster]

So you're both attention seekers got it.

I shall leave my point there.

I don't see how you have to lump them in as attention seekers because honestly all he did was tell a story and a rather funny one at that with the inclusion of pics.

 

[Josh7289]

What's going on here? I can't follow.

 

[Zen_Arcade]

I shall leave my point there.

Thank god for that. Nobody cares.

 

[Flying Toaster]

What's going on here? I can't follow.

The OP is stuck in a texting/voicemail circle jerk.

 

[RedNumberFive]

Everyone shut the fuck up about OP and his attention whoring about nothing. This thread should now be about this guy and whatever other stories he has. This story shit over the past 15 pages from a great height.

I concur. As a married man I need to live my life vicariously through you guys.

 

[Josh7289]

The OP is stuck in a texting/voicemail circle jerk.

Oh. Why not just talk to everyone and sort this out?

 

[Jackben]

Doesn't make for a good thread. Gotta drag it out like a soap opera.

OP is a textbook simp.

 

[Flying Toaster]

Oh. Why not just talk to everyone and sort this out?

Because the girl he wants, needs time away from him to see if her feelings are true. And the girl that wants to be with him is being ignored by him.

round and round we go, when it will end nobody knows.

 

[Arment]

Why would I lie about a threesome?

Wouldn't that be the same reason you said OP lied about his love life? Just sayin.

I don't see how you have to lump them in as attention seekers because honestly all he did was tell a story and a rather funny one at that with the inclusion of pics.

Should have checked to make sure the pics weren't traceable first imo.

 

[Josh7289]

Because the girl he wants, needs time away from him to see if her feelings are true. And the girl that wants to be with him is being ignored by him.

round and round we go, when it will end nobody knows.

1. Tell the girl that wants him, "I'm interested in someone else."
2. Wait for the girl he wants to get back to him.
3. ???
4. End up with no one?

Maybe he should just give up on this whole thing for now. Start afresh with other people. Now I understand the craziness.

 

[Flying Toaster]

Should have checked to make sure the pics weren't traceable first imo.

Eh, makes Detective GAF's work easier.

 

[Arment]

Eh, makes Detective GAF's work easier.

Right clicking an image and clicking the TinEye app is pretty easy I agree, lol.

 

[Gr1mLock]

You're good, I only know how to reverse image search.

I do not advocate this type of behavior. However if you happen to ..you know.. come across a link ..i wouldn't not click it?

 

[Flying Toaster]

1. Tell the girl that wants him, "I'm interested in someone else."
2. Wait for the girl he wants to get back to him.
3. ??? (A totally unrelated story of a threesome makes this thread bearable)
4. End up with no one?

Maybe he should just give up on this whole thing for now. Start afresh with other people. Now I understand the craziness.

I don't think the OP has stirred enough shit to find new friends yet. But he is getting there.

 

[Magwik]

FailWheelDrive is my new hero after reading this thread.

 

[Orrichio]

1. Tell the girl that wants him, "I'm interested in someone else."
2. Wait for the girl he wants to get back to him.
3. ???
4. End up with no one?

Maybe he should just give up on this whole thing for now. Start afresh with other people. Now I understand the craziness.

See man, you get it. This man gets it.

 

[Jackben]

Dang FailWheelDrive had a threesome with a model? Please, tell me more, google image search.