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[The Technomancer]

The door is unlocked. Its right there. I could walk out it at any moment. But I can't find my keys. I have no way to lock it behind me. They aren't under the couch, they aren't under the bed, they aren't behind the desk.

Everything is quiet. The only sound is the hum of the refrigerator.

 

[Duane Cunningham]

1. Open your door.

2. See if your keys are hanging in the doorknob.

 

[Baraka in the White House]

Check the fridge.

BAM.

Didn't know I could do that, did you?

 

[AntoneM]

Call a locksmith and get a new lock and keys?

 

[Steelrain]

So, you lost your keys.

Call your landlord.

 

[Gemini Z]

rub poop on the door knob after you leave

 

[Feature]

You should try looking for your keys instead of making threads on neogaf. That will probably solve your problem.

 

[RSP]

DRINK WATOR

PICK UP OBJECT

TAKE OFF PANTS

HIT FLOOR

WALK DINOSAUR

 

[BGBW]

Have you tried looking on top of the couch, the bed and the desk?

 

[The Technomancer]

Check the fridge.

BAM.

Didn't know I could do that, did you?

I just went and checked, not shitting you. They weren't...

 

[Slayer-33]

The door is unlocked. Its right there. I could walk out it at any moment. But I can't find my keys. I have no way to lock it behind me. They aren't under the couch, they aren't under the bed, they aren't behind the desk.

Everything is quiet. The only sound is the hum of the refrigerator.

Turn on a radio or TV with moderate volume and open a few windows a few inches.

Turn on the bathroom light and the living room light, in that specific order.

 

[dark10x]

First thing that comes to mind...

 

[Kazuma Kiryu]

check if your bathroom has a hole in the wall. if it does, you're fucked.

 

[andycapps]

Draw a picture in MS Paint of situation and maybe we'll be able to help you.

 

[empty vessel]

1. Open your door.

2. See if your keys are hanging in the doorknob.

I frequently find mine there.

 

[siddx]

The door is unlocked. Its right there. I could walk out it at any moment. But I can't find my keys. I have no way to lock it behind me. They aren't under the couch, they aren't under the bed, they aren't behind the desk.

Everything is quiet. The only sound is the hum of the refrigerator.

One of my most hated incidents. It makes me that much angrier because I know I only have myself to blame for not being able to find my goddamn keys or wallet. My favorite incidents are when, after 20 minutes of grumbling and burning rage, I find my keys in my front pocket.


PS check your trash can, I have accidentally tossed things in the trash several times before.

 

[Half and half]

Everything is quiet. The only sound is the hum of the refrigerator.

> Get Gown
Gown Taken.

> Put on Gown
You are now wearing your gown.

> Look in pocket
You see a bit of fluff and the keys to the apartment door.

 

[Old Lace]

Leave the door unlocked.

#YOLO

Spoiler

Check yesterday's pants pockets

 

[Like the hat?]

I'm stuck inside a condo with marlon brando

 

[golduck342]

check your pants pocket? you got in somehow so they should be somewhere... the idea of this thread is hilarious, never would I have thought that would be a reason to be trapped in your apt

 

[drugstore_cowboy]

What a Knightmare

 

[RSP]

I'm stuck inside a condo with marlon brando

> poke brando
Marlon appears to be dead.

 

[Alligatorjandro]

You've created your own prison.

 

[Baraka in the White House]

One of my most hated incidents. It makes me that much angrier because I know I only have myself to blame for not being able to find my goddamn keys or wallet. My favorite incidents are when, after 20 minutes of grumbling and burning rage, I find my keys in my front pocket.


PS check your trash can, I have accidentally tossed things in the trash several times before.

Yep. Done that before.

I've also come pretty close to a heart attack after half an hour of frantic searching only to find them rolled up in my comforter or bed sheets.

 

[tapedeck]

1. Check coat/pants pockets
2. Check the couch cushions
3. Lift up any laundry laying around
4. Look in the dumbest places you would never put them, as thats where you never think to look.

 

[ultron87]

God damn key gnomes.

 

[Seda]

Check coat pockets or hoodie pouches, pockets you don't normally put your keys in.

 

[Deleted member 81567]

Circumcise yourself.

 

[EVOL 100%]

Check all the clothes that you wore yesterday.

And I mean every single item. No exceptions.

 

[Zaptruder]

This recently happened to me.

I found the keys sitting under a book or bag I had carelessly thrown on top of them.

So... look under things that can be moved easily and have been moved recently.

 

[Kusagari]

I live in a four-person apartment and this happens to me a lot.

Then I open the door and find out I left my keys in the keyhole of my door.

 

[hbkajshdvfbkjhvgkahsgdfka]

You left them in the keyhole and forgot, but your neighbors were nice enough to leave them in for you and not throw them down the garbage chute.

Also, leave the TV on if you can't find them and want to leave.

 

[Horseticuffs]

JESUS CHRIST WATCH OUT FOR THAT GRUE!!!

 

[SugarDaddy]

Buy a tiger, or some other large predatory cat.

You'll never have to worry about locking your door ever again.

 

[GoldenEye 007]

buy insurance

walk out the door

 

[Vagabundo]

Walk us through what you did right after you last used them.

 

[tapedeck]

Buy a tiger, or some other large predatory cat.

You'll never have to worry about locking your door ever again.

Im not going to avatar quote you.

 

[kswiston]

I have had this happen a few times when I was running late for class or work. If you have renters' insurance, I'd probably just hid my laptop and a few other portable valuables under my bed and chance it.

 

[Snuggles]

This is pretty much it for you. Sorry dude. Might as well just curl up in the corner and wither away.

 

[The Technomancer]

4. Look in the dumbest places you would never put them, as thats where you never think to look.

Checked that weird cabinet over the stove that's filled with insulation, no dice.

Also yeah, been following the advice here. Not in any jacket pockets, not in any pants pockets from the last week, not in my backpack (emptied completely) not under any of the clothing in my room, or under anything in my room really...

 

[Shao Kahn Brewing a Stew]

 

[ChiTownBuffalo]

Checked that weird cabinet over the stove that's filled with insulation, no dice.

Also yeah, been following the advice here. Not in any jacket pockets, not in any pants pockets from the last week, not in my backpack (emptied completely) not under any of the clothing in my room, or under anything in my room really...

So, you unlocked your door presumably. Just retrace your steps from when you came in.

 

[CaptainSchwann]

Came in hoping for SH4 references. Not leaving disappointed.

 

[POWERSPHERE]

Walk N
'Theres a dirty brown couch and a white leather jacket'
Look under jacket
'There are keys and a used Condom'
Take Keys

 

[ultron87]

Have you considered that you actually aren't in your apartment at all?

 

[Meier]

1. Open your door.

2. See if your keys are hanging in the doorknob.

I have done this before. I've also apparently left them in the mailbox once.. thank god for honest neighbors. They'd been there for over an hour at least.. I had absolutely no clue. Thought they might have been in the doorknob but nope, she explained where I had left them.

 

[Buddha Beam]

Remember that Twilight Zone episode, "A Matter of Minutes"? That's probably why your keys are missing. Fuckin' Blue Minute Men misplaced the damn things.

Spoiler

...that episode is about the only good thing to come out of that terrible 80's Twilight Zone.

 

[Jibbed]

Have you considered that you actually aren't in your apartment at all?

Haha, I've been reading this thread in a lecture and I just lost it at this.

 

[shadyspace]

How wasted were you last night? You need to get exactly that level of wasted.

 

[hbkajshdvfbkjhvgkahsgdfka]

If you really want to leave and can't find them, call your superintendent and ask them to lock the door for you or to borrow the key for a couple of hours.