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[Dega]

Perhaps you tossed them in trash on accident.

 

[Conciliator]

Create a sign that says "Please don't break into my home just because I couldn't lock the door on account of losing my keys" and hang it on the front door.

 

[GK86]

Leave the house. What are the chances someone will go in?

 

[Sapiens]

It's always under your scrotum.

 

[Dega]

Leave the house. What are the chances someone will go in?

Well, now that we all know..

 

[Slayer-33]

Perhaps you tossed them in trash on accident.

.

 

[Takuya]

Maybe you left in in the front door and someone took it, in which case, you're screwed.

 

[ptolemy]

They're always in the last place you look so I suggest going there first!

 

[ultron87]

Leave the house. What are the chances someone will go in?

And if they do:

 

[Suite Pee]

Leave a window slightly cracked. Lock door. Order new key later.

 

[tapedeck]

Perhaps you tossed them in trash on accident.

Yeah as much as it sucks to dig through trash, I would check there. Also maybe just sit down for a minute without thinking, sometimes it pops in your head what you did with them. Im pretty much out of ideas at this point lol.

 

[Kikarian]

It's under the lower part of your eye...

 

[scotcheggz]

Everything is quiet. The only sound is the hum of the refrigerator.

> Open refrigerator

The door opens with a slight creak. The bottom and middle shelves are empty, there is a small block of mouldy cheese and a soggy stick of celery on the top shelf.

What will you do?

 

[akira28]

a midget. "a midget?" a midget.

 

[Enco]

Last nights pockets
Jacket pockets
Under desks
In a bag
In the kitchen under shopping bags
In the trash

Good luck.

 

[Joe Shlabotnik]

It'd be awesome if we actually helped him find them using text adventure commands.

>LIFT COUCH CUSHIONS

 

[ffdgh]

Eh check your bathroom.

 

[reKon]

1. Open your door.

2. See if your keys are hanging in the doorknob.

done this twice this year =/

 

[cwmartin]

done this twice this year =/

Luckily last time I did it someone was nice enough to knock and alert me to it!

 

[Psychotext]

People are missing the more sinister options.

What if someone took them so that they can return later to steal a kidney?

Maybe someone is in the house right now moving his keys from room to room after he's searched them.

 

[CoilShot]

Check all the clothes that you wore yesterday.

And I mean every single item. No exceptions.

I was going to say this cause I've left my keys in my pants before.

 

[NinjaBoiX]

Ah well. Cancel whatever you had planned. Stay in and play some Borderlands 2. Perfect excuse!

 

[phosphor112]

Put a condom with lotion in it on the door knob. No one will touch it.

 

[Psychotext]

Put a condom with lotion in it on the door knob. No one will touch it.

He might return to a note saying "thank you, it was delicious".

 

[NinjaBoiX]

I love that Lee Evans joke about that saying, "They're always in the last place you look."

"Well of course they are! I'm not gonna find 'em, and then keep fucking looking!"

 

[Celegus]

Leave the door locked. Use the window.

 

[RionaaM]

To everyone telling OP to leave the house and not locking the door: the problem isn't that the door will remain unlocked, it's that he'll need the keys to open it again. Unless the knob allows him to open the door from outside.

 

[NinjaBoiX]

Leave the door locked. Use the window.

 

[Jeff Albertson]

Look in your left hand

 

[jossueinacoma]

its always in the most logical place, your butt.

 

[joelseph]

Leave a light and TV on.

 

[PartTimeWarrior]

Trapped in The Apartment, waiting for the Package

 

[Jackben]

You'll find it in the last place you look.

 

[injurai]

is this a game?

 

[Fine Ham Abounds]

Did you go outside at all without locking the door yesterday? Check the path you take to your car or the garbage?

Do you have a cat?

 

[Menelaus]

Where are the calls coming from? If inside, you are already dead.

 

[Alligatorjandro]

Your cat probably ate them.

 

[MushroomSamba]

1. Sabotage the place with exploding lightbulbs with nails and shotguns under the floorboards.
2. Remember that you've sabotaged the place with exploding lightbulbs with nails and shotguns under the floorboards.

Alternatively, you can just let the landlord know and lock/unlock the door for you until you find your key or get a new one made.

 

[RionaaM]

You'll find it in the last place you look.

No, he'll find it in the third-to-last. Then he'll keep searching for them 'cause he's bored.

 

[TheKaeptain]

This is why I have routine. As soon as I get to my room I go wallet on bookcase. Keys on wallet on bookcase. Charge phone or iPad. Backpack get sat next to my bed. Never lose anything.

 

[NinjaBoiX]

You'll find it in the last place you look.

"Of course he will! He's not gonna find 'em, and then keep fucking looking!"

 

[Jackben]

Dumb logic advice is best advice ;P

1. Sabotage the place with exploding lightbulbs with nails and shotguns under the floorboards.
2. Remember that you've sabotaged the place with exploding lightbulbs with nails and shotguns under the floorboards.

Would love to see a Mythbusters episode that covered this.

 

[GusBus]

Same day lock delivery from Amazon?

 

[Bladenic]

First thing I thought when I read the title was SH4 lmao. This happened to me before, my keys were below this pair of jeans. If you can't find them, you'll have to probably buy a new pair from your landlord.

 

[Anteater]

It's under your keyboard, most likely left it there when you rushed to your computer to see if your porn was done downloading

 

[Dead Prince]

go on amazon. order yourself a new doorknob.

 

[massoluk]

Your jean pocket? Your man purse?

Hey... may be... This isn't your apartment?
...
...
shit!
...
LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU!

 

[Broder Salsa]

Walk out and take your chance someone random won't come and try to get in, it's not like people usually try and get in when you sit at home, is it? You can leave the lights and a tv if you're too paranoid.

 

[Escape Goat]

Lock door

Climb out the window

 

[Yeef]

This is why I have designated places where I put my keys.