Well, if you plan to go that old school, may as well go back to the SNES Engrish one for the nostalgia and laughs.
Will do.
Which is why...
Prelude
Welcome to the world of
Final Fantasy II Final Fantasy IV. This is the first game in the series to utilize the Active Time Battle system. Pulling from my
battle system descriptions from the Final Fantasy Community Thread:
ATB (Active Time Battle System) (Final Fantasy IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX)
This system was introduced in Final Fantasy IV by our favourite, Hiroyuki Ito. It was inspired by Formula One racing. It essentially adds timing and strategy to character attacks, and it determines when characters are going to act. When the action is completed, the ATB gauge resets and recharges in order for the character to act again. The recharge rate is determined by the character's Agility stat and Battle Speed (set in the game's settings menu).
There are also two modes: Active for experienced players, and Wait for learners. In Active mode, time flows even when players are selecting party members' actions from the menu, meaning they can be attacked by the enemies while selecting commands. In Wait mode, time freezes when players are selecting party members' actions from the menu, meaning they may stop enemies from attacking them to choose commands, or they can even stall status ailments from taking off HP or the Doom counter from continuing. Exclusive to Final Fantasy VII was the "Recommended" mode, which mixed both modes together.
Characters may also start battles in different circumstances and formations, like pre-emptive strikes, back attacks, side attacks, and pincer attacks.
This is going to be a bit of a walk down memory lane for me. I haven't played this version in
years, so I can't remember a lot of what to expect other than it'll be a cakewalk and the dialogue will be laughably bad. So let's get crackin'. I'll try to snark off every now and then (read: often).
This post is going to be really long because there's a lot of dialogue in the beginning, and it's bad dialogue at that. So, sincere apologies since it'll look like a huge image-dump, even moreso than some of my Mystic Quest entries.
Because I'm not even playing the game yet, so there's nothing to elaborate on!
The Red Wings
Admittedly, this opening is pretty good. I like the fade in and how the BGM has less instruments (and is quiet) before the scene progresses. It sets the tone well.
Alright, you can't see it here, but they're basically flying around the world if you're familiar with the world map. We know that they're supposed to be headed back to Baron, but someone explain to me why they're flying around the world nowhere close to Baron. Baron and Mysidia are an ocean apart... They can't be about to arrive since they're faaar away from their destination. D:
Shit sounds dire. Apparently I'm playing as the bad guys.
Ah, yes. Welcome back to the era where you have more than one character talking in a text box! Well, that text box is freaking huge, so they needed to use all the space somehow.
Flashback time. That was fast. I'm gonna share all of the dialogue here for a reason.
Cecil's... pretty aggressive here. Uh, I
am playing as the bad guys, aren't I? You know, that isn't a bad thing. This could be neat.
Cecil's channeling Squall. Someone stop this madness.
Alright, if you've played any other versions of Final Fantasy IV, there is no dialogue in this flashback sequence at all, hence why I showed most of it. Wonder what the reasoning was behind adding the dialogue. For greater context? Because if it is for context, it's kind of strange because the soldiers are expressing extreme remorse in the scenes that bookend this, but in this scene they sound like complete assholes. Cecil sounds very aggressive here, even though he sounds like more of a guy doing this stuff against his will in other scenes. Kinda weird, but that's just me.
Red Wings' Mission Statement
- To protect and serve
- To serve our king
- To participate in battle representing Baron and come home as victors
- To test-fly Cid's Airships
- To protect Baron's airspace from nations that don't have airships
- To loot and pillage other cities
In other words, "Take your damn pride and shove it!" Cecil sucks, man. If you love the king so much, why don't you guys go to a nice buffet?
Anyway, monsters attack, and Cecil uses a bunch of items to get rid of them:
...I think that's the last time you see Lit-Bolt in this version, right? You can get FireBombs from Red Dragons.
The crew complains that there have been too many monsters around lately and monster attacks are getting worse. They shouldn't really complain about monsters, I think. All you have are Imps around your castle and even a little kid can beat up an Imp as we'll see later.
Anyway, we get to Baron and we have the best dialogue exchange so far:
I don't even know where to begin with this. Where did all of the articles in Cecil's dialogue go? Why is Baigan even questioning the spoils? Why was Cecil's response kinda out of nowhere? *sigh*
Showing pity = Act of rebellion. Off with his head!
(Can I start playing the game now?)
Er. What was up with that second dialogue box? Is this dialogue from Baigan? Dialogue from the King? Or is it an action that has the wrong tense associated with it? I bet it's the latter because the game's localization is awesome.
"............."
Wasn't Cecil supposed to get punished or something? Remember? He committed the crime of showing pity for those he had his men murder? Oh, no... I see how it is. The King and Baigan love their shinies too much.
YOU FOOL. You were gonna get off easy until you decided to open your mouth. In addition, I would've started playing the game by now!
(I've gotta say that the animation for Baigan and the King to turn in shock made me chuckle when I was younger.)
Aw shiiiieeeet. All of this just for saying, "Man, I feel bad for those guys I had killed"?
Can this game be called Final Fantasy IV: Asshole Saga instead?
Suspicion
So now I'm just a grunt? Well, at least it means I can probably start playing the game soon. Who am I supposed to be handing this "Package" off to?
Are you even allowed to eavesdrop on private audiences with royalty like this?
The King is
pissed. He's turned someone who treats him like a father figure into a delivery boy. Tsk tsk.
So who's this guy with the pointy armour? (He and Cecil were pretty much raised together and he had an iffy relationship with his own father, but this version doesn't really go into it much. Also, he's left-handed, which makes me feel quite delightful.)
I think the King should put
Steve Yzerman in charge of the Red Wings, but that's just me.
Kain tells Cecil not to worry too much about it and go to his room to rest... but then he busts this out before ending the conversation:
What a wonderful way to break the fourth wall! Thanks, localization team!
With that, we finally gain control of Cecil. But in a controlled setting. So no stats talk or menu talk yet.
Let's talk to people!
Kingdom of Baron
Well, Kain did say that NPCs had important stuff to say. That one guy who said "Treasure your life" said the most important bit of all. <3
Cecil and Kain's friendship, or the fact that they were raised together, wasn't elaborated much on in this version. That's kind of why the last text box strikes me as odd, because you'd expect that they'd be a team anyway...
In this version, it's also stated that Cecil was pushed and ordered to become a Dark Knight and use the Dark Sword, when in other versions, it didn't seem like that. This is the only dialogue you have with Kain at this point in this version, btw. You may recall that he talks about his father or something in other versions. Kain's relationship with his father, once again, is not elaborated upon in this version. For some reason. I dunno.
THE BED.
I'm sorry; I think you're missing an article there, dear.
Don't mind her; she's in remedial classes. So, this was before they started using the -ra/-ga/-ja stuff employed in newer games. It happened all the way up to FF7, with FF8 finally using the suffixes for all of the spell names.
Oh, this game decided to make the items use the same classification system too. So you get items called Cure1, Cure2, etc. Let's pretend that they aren't potions. They're disposable spells instead.
And we get GP instead of Gil. I bet Cecil's richer than Megaman and gets a better allowance from the King.
These people work on the airships. They have such lovely dialogue.
This is Cecil's girlfriend. She generally makes dialogue awkward and uninteresting to read. I don't like her very much.
Yeah they did. Didn't they surrender? Don't you raise your hands to surrender?
Heh heh.
Speaking of wizards, let's go to the dungeon in the basement.
...wait, the crystal can function as jewellery too? Why didn't anyone tell me this?
I JUST WANT TO GET SOME SLEEP.
You were what?
Also, if you've played other versions of Final Fantasy IV, yes, the dialogue with Cid is different with no references to Rosa worrying about Cecil or anything.
Why does this dialogue sort of remind me of Mystic Quest's dialogue in that Cid walks away right after saying this?
I didn't know Reuben was in this game!!
I completely forgot this dialogue was in there. It's so bad...
Cecil goes up the left tower and encounters his maid who said she changed his sheets. His room is literally called "Room". As you approach the bed, Cecil automatically walks in and lies down and tucks himself in... without taking his armour off or anything. It must be comfortable.
The screen does this neat fade to blue thing, and we have the sound of a ticking clock which I don't remember ever being used again. Really, the scenes at the beginning of the game are pretty good in terms of setting the mood.
Yes. We all want
peas peace. Cecil vows to never do something like this again, even if he's under orders!
Theme of Love
I dunno why but scenes between Rosa and Cecil with the Theme of Love playing in the background always struck me as awkward. I can't put my finger on why, though. Maybe it's because I don't like Rosa as a character? *shrug*
Haha. In other versions at least she seems genuinely concerned after Cecil says he feels like a jackass.
Well, at least their relationship is established in the first few moments of this game. That's something. I feel like it's written to be more platonic in this version than other versions.
I love how Cecil spends the majority of this conversation in his bed.
With that, Cecil tells Rosa that it's getting late and that she should get some sleep. Rosa tells Cecil to "take care" and leaves. We're left with this bit of dialogue, though, which is much different from other versions:
It kind of downplays their relationship because in other versions, Cecil would say something to the effect of, "As a Dark Knight, we can never be together." Here, the dialogue would sort of imply that he's just talking about his position as a Dark Knight and how it sucks that he can't get out of it. A lowly Dark Knight who follows the King's orders.
In the morning, Cecil meets up with Kain who tells him that we can get equipment and items in the Town of Baron. Then we get treated to something neat.
Prologue...
Airships had been a dream of many people...
After the realization of the dream, came greed and ambition.
Through its fleet of airships, Baron became the most powerful nation. But why is Baron seeking the crystals? Why do the monsters keep increasing...?
The crystal was shedding its light silently...
And now the game finally begins.
(btw, the time on the clock is about 20 minutes. 20 minutes to start the game.)
Next Time: Less Talk, More Fight. Also, the game tries to teach us left from right. Edit: Oh, I'll rename Cecil and Kain too.