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Is Dating Someone Who Lives With Their Parents A Dealbreaker?
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Mammoth Jones
Member
Really depends on the details.
If it's someone with zero drive, zero ambition just content to pretend they're 18 forever...probably a dealbreaker.
If it's someone that's working, trying to save they money and just at home because of the economy or whatever and they seem to have an adult head on their shoulder...not a big deal.
Really depends what the person is DOING while they live with their parents.
And this. Rent is like 1600 a month for a shithole. Pay that, or just wear headphones when you masturbate....
If it's someone with zero drive, zero ambition just content to pretend they're 18 forever...probably a dealbreaker.
If it's someone that's working, trying to save they money and just at home because of the economy or whatever and they seem to have an adult head on their shoulder...not a big deal.
Really depends what the person is DOING while they live with their parents.
And this. Rent is like 1600 a month for a shithole. Pay that, or just wear headphones when you masturbate....
Nah, not a difference. Living with roommates sucks as much as living with the parents.
Man there's really nothing like living alone. Again --let us fuck freely! let us masturbate whenever and wherever we want! Let us be in the nude!--
Thebeardofknowledge
Banned
What age we talking about ?
Because anything over 25 is just fucking weird
Because anything over 25 is just fucking weird
Poor GRIMES
Banned
Well, he should probably be understanding of your current situation and work around it if he actually wants to spend time with you... It's totally possible to have a healthful sex life while living with your parents/roommates. Best wishes.
Not really we are all different people, as long as they are nice and he is nice... then I'm happy about it.
Shabadoo69
Member
No. My wife was living at home with her parents when I met her. Shit happens sometimes and you don't have other options or maybe you are helping to take care of them. There are a lot of reasons why you would live with your parents but the short answer is no.
Kingpin Rogers
Member
There's nothing wrong with living with your parents as long as they still want you there. My brother is 26 and still lives with our parents yet he's also a qualified teacher and has a successful career, he's just staying home because it's easier for everybody financially. Honestly, this is a silly question and if it is a dealbreaker to anybody in this thread I will be surprised as I thought Gaf would be better than that.
Of course not. There are too many variables to just outright call such a thing a deal breaker.
Drowns puppies in burlap sacks, has an I love hitler tattoo, believes homosexuality is a sin, watches two broke girls and laughs at the jokes, watches my little pony, is a herion addict. These are the unforgivable things that are dealbreakers.
Drowns puppies in burlap sacks, has an I love hitler tattoo, believes homosexuality is a sin, watches two broke girls and laughs at the jokes, watches my little pony, is a herion addict. These are the unforgivable things that are dealbreakers.
cubicle47b
Member
I wouldn't date someone who isn't building towards their future. That certainly doesn't exclude people who are living at home. It excludes people who are doing nothing with their lives.
hydrophilic attack
Member
Angelus Errare
Banned
Depends, or you could simply dismiss them without knowing their circumstances...which is par for the course.
TyMiles2012
Member
If you think it's a dealbreaker, you shouldn't be in that relationship.
the way things are going, getting a home to live alone doesn't sound appealing at all. it's tooe xpensive and most cities are a clusterfuck. i'd rather stay at my parent's home and help with expenses.
not gonna piss away my life at a stressful job until i'm an old fart. much easier to keep a much lower income in a more relaxing job and help with anything i use up.
so, if this is what's making it a deal breaker for me, tough luck. not gonna bend for some society stuff.
not gonna piss away my life at a stressful job until i'm an old fart. much easier to keep a much lower income in a more relaxing job and help with anything i use up.
i'm getting to the point dating is too hard and not worth the trouble.
so, if this is what's making it a deal breaker for me, tough luck. not gonna bend for some society stuff.
Moreover the free spirit 18 year old who got the boot and makes ends meet by their own bootstraps seems by and large a culturally white American phenomenon. Nothing against it but also from a cultural stance I don't think I could find it in myself to boot my kid out when they turned 18. That happened to my girlfriend and it seems so strange that her parents basically cut her off while she flailed about for a good few years struggling.
Anyway, it all depends as I posted before. A lot of things can be deal breakers to some people. I find not liking dogs a dealbreaker personally.
Amory
Member
I'm not sure I'd call it a deal breaker, but I think by the time you're in your mid-20s you should either live on your own or at least have a plan to.
I've dated 26 and 27 year olds who lived with their parents, and it usually was indicative of some degree of immaturity (though I don't think that's always the case).
If by "west" you mean the USA lol. Plenty of people in various countries of Europe stay at their parents' as long as it's convenient and no one has a problem with it. My cousin is 25 still living with her mom, they get along well so there's no need to pay for some crazy high parisian rent (she just finished school).
That said I saw the post you're talking about and if a 30 year old woman still didn't want to move out of their parents' by the time they're 35... yeah I'd have a hard time with it too, there would need to be some serious extenuating circumstances.
somuchwater
Member
Depends on age and other circumstances. I'm in my early forties and I live at home, and nobody should date me. It's a clear sign that I'm a fuck up and I don't begrudge any woman who thinks "uh, no thanks."
But with changing patterns in education and the economy, I dunno if there's a general rule. Some people might be continuing school, or saving for a down payment, or have lost their job etc etc. I think you have to exercise your own judgement about what living at home actually reflects: a kind of "defect," or just circumstance.
Also culture too! Don't forget that in lots of cultures it's considered less weird to live at home as an adult.
But with changing patterns in education and the economy, I dunno if there's a general rule. Some people might be continuing school, or saving for a down payment, or have lost their job etc etc. I think you have to exercise your own judgement about what living at home actually reflects: a kind of "defect," or just circumstance.
Also culture too! Don't forget that in lots of cultures it's considered less weird to live at home as an adult.
xDUMPWEEDx
Banned
Yes and no. It's very situational.
balladofwindfishes
Member
When I was 25 (almost 2 years ago) I had 30k in student debt. Luckily, I have a decent job, and have lived on my own since I was 24, but if I made less than I do now, there wouldn't be a hope or a prayer of me leaving home by 25.
Very Berry Sunday
Member
What if my parents are living with me?
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
Depends on age and reasons, I guess, but would be a huge turn off for me. If there was an actual relationship and they moved back for a decent reason, then it's something to work around or discuss, but early dating? Not appealing at all, so probably not.
Roland_Gunner
Member
I dated a woman in her early 30's who lived with her mom after going through a bankruptcy. At first, the lack of financial responsibility was a big concern but she seemed to have learned from the experience. We broke up eventually but the living situation was never a big deal.
Not necessarily.
Having lived at home with my mom for a really long time while saving up my money, I'm sure it affected my dating prospects. The asocial personality didn't help me either.
Incandenza
Banned
This ain't true at all, at least not any more. Most millennials consider themselves lucky if they can move out when they're 21.
I actually hope to do that one day when they retire, the thought of putting them in a home or something sounds horrible.
GustyGardens
Banned
Not at all.
If they believe they're not financially stable enough to live on their own, then what's the big deal? I have more respect for someone that can admit their flaws rather than attempt to struggle it out for some superficial reason.
On top of that, I'm dating the person - not they're living situation. Their home doesn't change who they are and what I like about them.
There are situations where living with your parents is a symptom of an overarching problem, and that could potentially be a deal breaker.
If they believe they're not financially stable enough to live on their own, then what's the big deal? I have more respect for someone that can admit their flaws rather than attempt to struggle it out for some superficial reason.
On top of that, I'm dating the person - not they're living situation. Their home doesn't change who they are and what I like about them.
There are situations where living with your parents is a symptom of an overarching problem, and that could potentially be a deal breaker.
PeterLegend
Member
I'm 28, living in SoCal and i live with my parents. I help them out with rent and bills since theyre retired and dont own a house...
cryptosporidium
Member
Theres a difference between living with your parents and be completely dependent on them. I still live with my parents for free and am fed, though I buy my own car, insurance, cell service, tuition, etc. I know its not viable for me to live on my own and goto school which is why I live at home.
My ex on the other hand.. rich spoiled only child, emotionally and financially dependent on her parents. They got her a 30000$ car, insurance, tuition, cell service, everything. She was a horrible human being and because of her priviledged life sought to create drama so she had something to complain about. I tried my hardest to make her have an idea of independence but nope. her rich dad also wanted to buy her an apartment.
These are two kinds of people who live at home
My ex on the other hand.. rich spoiled only child, emotionally and financially dependent on her parents. They got her a 30000$ car, insurance, tuition, cell service, everything. She was a horrible human being and because of her priviledged life sought to create drama so she had something to complain about. I tried my hardest to make her have an idea of independence but nope. her rich dad also wanted to buy her an apartment.
These are two kinds of people who live at home
scotcheggz
Member
At my age is pretty unlikely (34) but I'd say no, it's not really a big deal. There might be a small part of me that thinks maybe they're not a 'real' adult in terms of money and budgeting, as horrible as that is, but I don't think it would really bother me. I just assume we'd spend most of the time staying at my place, which is fine. A very tiny, issue? Perhaps, but certainly not a dealbreaker and as others have posted, context certainly counts for a lot here...
Specious reasoning (but what else would one expect from NeoGAF) as there are plenty of immature people who don't live with their parents.
If there's other fish in the sea, wouldn't it just be easier to move along to the next person who actually lives by themselves instead of figuring out their circumstances?
Is there really a difference?
I mean, depends on the situation. My girlfriend has been in and out of her mom's place while we've been dating the past two years, but it was entirely because she's had shit luck with her job situation. We now live together as of two months ago.
For me it's more about the other person's drive, life/career goals, and aspirations. I couldn't date someone who lives with their parents just because they're content working a minimum wage job, or no job at all even, and just not paying rent. That just says to me they're looking for a parasitic relationship and not a mutual one.
For me it's more about the other person's drive, life/career goals, and aspirations. I couldn't date someone who lives with their parents just because they're content working a minimum wage job, or no job at all even, and just not paying rent. That just says to me they're looking for a parasitic relationship and not a mutual one.
Do they pay rent to you?
bobbychalkers
Member
Context matters but now more than ever, its a really common thing. I know plenty of people who live at home.
Skellig Gra
Member
Entirely depends on the situation. So not explicitly no but if you are in your 30's and still living at home its not a great look.
CloudyTuba
Member
Pretty much. It's becoming increasingly common in recent years for reasons that are obvious.
Just depends on the person and the situation. Someone with no aspirations who still gets their laundry done for them would be a big no-no. Someone with goals who handles their own shit, probably fine.
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