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Is it ok to call someone out for bad husbanding or partnering.
- Thread starter darscot
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BobNewbert31
Member
I have strong doubts the average person truly appreciates unsolicited advice from a stranger, especially when it comes to their family.
darkazcura
Member
This seems like such a minor thing..and even then, I wouldn't be surprised if the wife asked not to be separated while he went out to get the car.
Threads like this make me really self conscious about anything I do in public, lol. Never really know if some random person is really judging me hard for something that seems like a non-issue.
Threads like this make me really self conscious about anything I do in public, lol. Never really know if some random person is really judging me hard for something that seems like a non-issue.
Lord Ghirahim
Member
SlimySnake
Flashless at the Golden Globes
lol yep. my wife wont even let me leave her with one. and i dont blame her i can barely control the freak. 2 year olds are worse than 4chan trolls.
lol people without kids have no idea how stressful trips to the airport are with kids.
I find this interesting, I don't mind advice. I find it odd that many people are hostile towards any advice especially anything related to family. I admit in this situation I was not in a mind set to offer it in the best way. If people come and say hey why don't you try this I'm cool with it.
Short and simple. Obviously physical abuse is something else. But in your case, you're in the wrong.
Uh huh...and how often does this happen to you where someone comes up to you and offers you unsolicited advice?
PrivateWHudson
Member
What airports do you go to where you can grab a snack in the luggage/shuttle area? Usually it's the most depressing location in the airport. Are you a parent? Did you think that maybe a "snack" for the infant would be breast feeding and the mom couldn't do that with the toddler running free in an airport? Could have been the reason for the crying and the mom wanted to get to the security and privacy of the car ASAP.
old manatee
Banned
If they didn't have those dumb kids they'd have more time to stand around judging people.
Astral Dog
Member
More men need to be told to man up op
Caddywompus
Member
What are you bad at OP? Do you want Captain Obvious over your shoulder point out what you already know? Most people probably shouldn't be parents but that's just how life works most of the time.
It's not uncommon and in normal life I offer info or advice to people. I just find the social convention interesting. Some advice people hate some they like. If I am leaving any kind of pay parking situation with a stub I offer it to the first person coming in. Some people get super offended or pissed other people are like cool thanks. Its just funny when you can step into a strangers little world and when you cant.
Squirrel Killer
Member
This, seriously.
You have no idea what their situation is, for all you know it could have been a friendly stranger trying to help a single parent out by helping one of the kids. I was once in line at a store that was taking forever because someone's card wouldn't swipe, I was next in line and kept expecting someone to get if fixed or at least have the cashier ring me up while waiting for a manager to come fix the problem. After 10 minutes, I finally left and got in another line which then had some other problem that was taking a while to fix. I called out to one of the floor managers to see if they could get some help and some asshole customer bitched me out because he thought I had only been waiting for 3-4 minutes.
Unless it's actual abuse, keep your judgements to yourself.
Netherscourge
Banned
I don't see what they did wrong.
They were all obviously exhausted.
They were all obviously exhausted.
ClosingADoor
Member
There is a difference between helping and telling people they are handling a situation wrong. If it was raining and they are getting soaked, I'm sure it would have been appreciated if you had given them an umbrella. But to walk over and say: why don't you go stand inside, is just useless criticism.
Bay Maximus
Banned
No. No, man.
Shit, no, man. I believe you'd get your ass kicked sayin' something like that, man.
Shit, no, man. I believe you'd get your ass kicked sayin' something like that, man.
This is also good input.
This exactly.
Byakuya769
Member
Be prepared to catch hands if you want to butt in. You have no idea what was going on, what their rationale was and you're making a sexist assumption that the woman involved had no agency in the decision. Even if your assumptions are 100% right, people don't always make the best choices as they wrestle with 100 other different things or have a crying child fraying their thought process. Your commentary serves to help none of that for what wasn't an issue worth even a second thought from a stranger.
You're a mess.
Berserking Guts
Member
Their situation is none of your damn business. Maybe the husband didn't want to leave his wife alone with two screaming kids (or gasp, vice versa!). I personally find it more disturbing that you were standing there analyzing them and judging their situation. I WISH you'd of said something, maybe then you'd of learned a lesson.
To me, the worst part is that the woman had the baby in a car seat AND all the luggage, while the man was carrying the toddler and a single diaper bag? UGH, my husband does that to me all the time too - grabs kiddo and calls it a day, leaving me to lug the 50 million other things necessary to travel with a child. I guess I'm glad he's focused on what matters most, but c'mon!
Mammoth Jones
Member
Yep. This is how I feel. Mind your business. Kids cry. Can't always stop what you're doing everytime little Billy weeps. You have no idea the details of their situation so you'd just be a dick if you tried calling them out.
O.v.e.rlord
Banned
Ding ding.
I don't understand how the situation in the OP is a "bad husband". You don't know if the wife didn't want to be left alone with both kids, or vice versa, or maybe they didn't think of doing it that way or something.
When I clicked, I expected something like child endangerment, one partner yelling and screaming at the other, or something like that.
When I clicked, I expected something like child endangerment, one partner yelling and screaming at the other, or something like that.
Wind, I was going to say it was right at 0 but didn't want to confuse Americans.
P.S. And as a Canadian I have no idea what the freezing point is in F.
Earthbound64
Banned
TimeEffect
Member
Id feel like shit if some dude told me to man up for my family.
Hey why didn't you offer help! Maybe they would have appreciated that
Hey why didn't you offer help! Maybe they would have appreciated that
CarpeDeezNutz
Member
Mind your own crops and cattle!
Offering a parking stub to someone is not offering unsolicited advice about their current situation.
You're absolutely killin' it.
It was just one thing that came to mind. They are all little bits of advice or being what you perceive as helpful. I have been in a huge line at a sporting event and told a dude and his kid there is a family bathroom around the corner. I have been told my kid can go the mens room in an and angry insulted way and I have been told sweet thanks.
ProfessorMoran
Member
As a shitty father to a brat myself, no.
Again, this is nothing like what you thought would be proper advice in the OP. "Hey, there is another bathroom right over there" is no where near the same as "Hey, leave the women and children inside and go get the car and bring it around."
I think they are degress on the same scale. One is much higher for sure, but the line is not always clear. Sure you can just say nothing all the time but that is not ideal either.
Here is one more, is it offside to tell a parent and child waiting for a bathroom, just hit the gender neutral you know its empty.
davidwhangchoi
Member
op should try to offer a dollar to someone short in Flatbush.
This is the same as the previous example you gave. It is just telling another person in line with a kid, another bathroom exists that may be faster.
Here is how I look at it...all your examples outside the OP = helpful or at least good intentioned. The OP example is anything but helpful.
MsKrisp
Member
Wondering the same... who even thinks to ride a shuttle and drive all the way back around to pick everyone up? Why were so mad at the father?
Guess what OP, men or women of any height can be scary and intimating when they're too close to you at bus stops at night.
Seriously. I wouldn't let him leave me there with the kids, just the thought of having to wait alone with 2 young children at the airport is making me burst into hives
Ok I fully admit I had no idea that some parents can not or have no desire to handle their children without their spouse. That honestly never occurred to me until it was posted in this thread. I guess that is a good a reason as any just never thought of it. It is strange to me though because the abuse I would take for mentioning that, no thanks. I would be sleeping in the street.
You don't get the point of what people are saying when they say that the parents want to stick together. It isn't because they "can not or have no desire" to parent, it is just that much more difficult in situations.
What you are saying is actually downright insulting to many parents.
Man GAF is tough on language and I'm a native speaker. I thought having no desire was like I have no desire for ice cream. I didn't think it meant incompetence or was an insult. I followed it with that is as good a reason as any. This is just that thing that anything family related people get insulting no matter what.
Right now it just looks like you're doing everything you can to not admit you were misguided. Just take the L.
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