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Is it wrong to hate your sibling?

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SwolBro

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I absolutely loathe my younger sister. I have nothing in common with her, i find her to be the most obnoxious, self-entitled, spoiled brat i've ever met. She cares about no one but herself, and doesn't mind burdening the rest of the family with her drama and problems both emotionally and financially.

I try to feel bad but then she does something that just blows my mind with the level of disrespect and lack of consideration for others. Do i have a moral obligation to try and see beyond all this and love her regardless because she's my sister? I'm increasingly finding it harder to do so.

I often feel if i never spoke to her again that i'd be completely ok with it and happier for it.
 
No. You don't get to pick your family, so it's just going to be chance whether they're good or bad people who you are forced to associate with.
 
I don't like my brother either, but its more like he annoys me and would never loath him enough to wish something bad on him.
 
Nah man. My family is complete trash, and my brother has always been a jerk. Just because they're closer to you genetically doesn't mean they deserve special treatment. Treat people how they deserve to be treated, no exceptions.
 
How old is she?

Back in high school my sister and me couldn't get on at all. At. All. It was hell. My brothers and me were fine, but there wasn't a lot of common ground. There was quite an age gap between me and the rest, and while I was in early high school the rest was either late high school or had already moved out for university.

I went to university, lived a little, did everything you do in that time and grew up a little bit, and now everything is fine. My brother and sister have kids, which was a big change, and we're closer than ever. All we needed was a little bit of maturity.
 
You're in my exact position OP. I just kind of gave up. I couldn't deal with my sister so I just have no desire to talk to her anymore. It sucks because I would have loved to have a great relationship with her and I have a great relationship with everyone, but she's just too difficult to be around.
 
I don't think you have any obligation to love your sister or let her into your life. My husband has a similar relationship with his younger sister. They are just oil and water. They have very different personalities and have never gotten along.

I do feel a little sorry for the both of you though. My big brother is one of my best friends and I love having a friend that grew up with me, has a shared childhood and knows exactly where I came from. I think it's a bit of a bummer when other siblings don't get that same amazing relationship.
 
My little sister is kind of like that. She ignores family and is all into her friends but when she needs something she asks the family for help and not the friends shes always with.
 
Spring Drive said:
This is what happens when people watch Game of Thrones too much
Click to expand...
It's almost on that level but not yet there.

faridmon said:
I don't like my brother either, but its more like he annoys me and would never loath him enough to wish something bad on him.
Click to expand...

I don't wish anything bad on her, i just wish i never had to deal with her ever again. Hopefully soon when i make a permanent move outside the state i'll never have to.
 
How old are you and how old is she? I have a feeling you are both teenagers/early 20's from what you've said. You might never find that you like your sister but you will grow to love her, despite anything, as time goes on.
 
UraMallas said:
How old are you and how old is she? I have a feeling you are both teenagers/early 20's from what you've said. You might never find that you like your sister but you will grow to love her, despite anything, as time goes on.
Click to expand...

no, we're beyond teenage years. It has nothing to do with that young sibling rivalry or age difference.
 
What are your ages?

Is there a huge age gap?

If she's especially young, she may grow out of those characteristics as she gains more life experience.
 
Dude, I have a older sister that gave me, my mom and my younger sister hell for seven years with her horrible antics which include:

-Drugs

-Stealing the family ride and going on a car chase

-Threatening a family member who was trying to reason with my sister, with a knife

-Generally giving my mom her ass to kiss

-Put my mom in the hospital because what she was doing gave my mom stress, badly

She mellowed out and we communicate, but as far as I'm concerned, I still never forgave her for those years and probably won't ever.
 
SwolBro said:
It's almost on that level but not yet there.



I don't wish anything bad on her, i just wish i never had to deal with her ever again. Hopefully soon when i make a permanent move outside the state i'll never have to.
Click to expand...

Yep, you can hate her. I don't go my way out to see my brother either. So frustrating just to actual have a conversion with him.
 
Sounds like me and my younger sister too a tee. My younger sister is for lack of a better word a cunt. Does nothing for anyone asks for everything and when not getting something throws temper tantrums. She's emotionally & physically abusive to me and my mother but to the outside world she puts on a secret mask like she's the best thing ever it pisses me off to no end.
 
Hell no. Just because they're blood doesn't mean they aren't worthy of your scorn. (not that people can't change, or mature and grow out of it, but hate away until then)
 
Only if you're the hound.

I sometimes get the feeling my older siblings resent me. I was the last born and they have stated I've had it easier and am spoiled. Yet I paid for my parents bills in my twenties lol.
 
I always knew she was heading in this direction, but i'd hope it would change after she got through her teens, early 20s. It's only gotten worse.
 
my brothers threated me like trash for 12 years, self entitled assholes.my parents let them do whatever they pleased as long as it didnt bother them, so i understand when someone says they have problems with siblings :/

now, one after marrying and studying abroad they mellowed out a bit and we try to get along now, thats good i just try to left behind the things they said and did to me,.

but im not sure how to answer the question if its "wrong" or not, sometimes we need to distance ourselves from aggressive family for our sake, other times we should try to help and get along for our family, its not easy finding the right answer but we should try.
 
When I was younger, in middle school my brother was a dick. We would constantly get in fights which he would win, as he was older. Into high school, he mellowed out a bunch and now I love him.

But no, you don't have to love them. They're related to you by blood only and you have no need to call them family if you don't want.
 
SwolBro said:
I absolutely loathe my younger sister. I have nothing in common with her, i find her to be the most obnoxious, self-entitled, spoiled brat i've ever met. She cares about no one but herself, and doesn't mind burdening the rest of the family with her drama and problems both emotionally and financially.

I try to feel bad but then she does something that just blows my mind with the level of disrespect and lack of consideration for others. Do i have a moral obligation to try and see beyond all this and love her regardless because she's my sister? I'm increasingly finding it harder to do so.

I often feel if i never spoke to her again that i'd be completely ok with it and happier for it.
Click to expand...

How old are they? I hated my sibling between the ages of 4 - 20. Once they got out of the "teen" ages, it's usually better. This is normal.
 
Nope, I hate mine. Little piece of shit. Even though we are family and we have the same parents, that doesn't mean I have to like him.
 
I think it's wrong not to give family a chance, but if she's always been terrible and you don't see any possibility of her not being terrible in the future then why bother continuing a relationship.

That sucks though, my siblings are like my two best friends. Still would recommend checking in now and then to see if she still sucks.
 
SwolBro said:
I always knew she was heading in this direction, but i'd hope it would change after she got through her teens, early 20s. It's only gotten worse.
Click to expand...


At the end of the day, they are still family and you still have to share a bit of your life with them. Make the best of the situation that you can. If there is something you can do to help her out that does little or no harm to you, then do so. Your relationship with family is one that is hard to replace and has very strong positives. If you can maintain a good relationship, it's worth it to work toward.

One thing to keep in mind is that you both are just going out into the world on your own for the first time. Mistakes will be made, especially financially. My sister and I helped each other out a lot through our twenties. I would certainly have made it out alive if not for her, but she helped me and made things a lot easier. You're both still young and will grow into people completely different from who you are now. It would be a shame to let go now before you both have fully matured.

That said, if having them more removed from your life makes it better, then so be it. I know people in their late forties that don't speak to their siblings and they do all right.
 
Pendas said:
How old are they? I hated my sibling between the ages of 4 - 20. Once they got out of the "teen" ages, it's usually better. This is normal.
Click to expand...

Older. I thought this was going to be an age thing as well back then. It's only gotten worse, way worse.
 
Absolutely despise my older brother. Don't talk to him at all, and don't plan on ever doing so again.

Honestly one of the worst people I have ever had the misfortune of meeting.
 
She doesn't sound like the worlds worst sister but you don't have to like everything she does to love her. She's the only sister you'll ever have tell her the things you don't like that she does. If there is anyone on this planet you can talk to its probably her
 
I don't really have a relationship with my two younger brothers at all. I'm glad we don't actually hate each other, we just went through a lot of shit growing up and it kinda broke the family in half. I have a really good relationship with my older half brother.

We see each other at the occasional family event but that's about it. We manage to get along, which hopefully means there will be no problems in the event of a family crisis.
 
SwolBro said:
Older. I thought this was going to be an age thing as well back then. It's only gotten worse, way worse.
Click to expand...

In that case, it's probably permanent. Family members are people too, you like some, and you hate some. There's no biological code that say's you have to like your family. Best you can do is deal with it, or try and talk it out.

Sorry :(
 
I used to despise my older brother. He used to beat the shit out of me when I was younger (although I did my best to wind him up a lot), but as I grew older we grew to respect each other and once he moved out I appreciated the times we did get the chance to hang out.

These days things are much better, although we were on opposite sides during Brexit and there have been some heated discussions between us.

Spring Drive said:
This is what happens when people watch Game of Thrones too much
Click to expand...

Could be worse, could have a relationship like Jaime and Cersei.
 
My 4 siblings and I all grew up as best friends. We had a fantastic childhood and as adults we're really close, with the exception of one my sisters who got into some heavy drugs and alienated most of her family. She seems to be getting her life back on track however. I've never hated her though. I couldn't imagine hating anyone in my immediate family.

I'm pretty sure my girlfriend hates her brother though. She has nothing good to say about him, which is understandable considering he is a completely selfish dick. I guess if your sibling is horrible enough then its ok to hate them.
 
SwolBro said:
I absolutely loathe my younger sister. I have nothing in common with her, i find her to be the most obnoxious, self-entitled, spoiled brat i've ever met. She cares about no one but herself, and doesn't mind burdening the rest of the family with her drama and problems both emotionally and financially.

I try to feel bad but then she does something that just blows my mind with the level of disrespect and lack of consideration for others. Do i have a moral obligation to try and see beyond all this and love her regardless because she's my sister? I'm increasingly finding it harder to do so.

I often feel if i never spoke to her again that i'd be completely ok with it and happier for it.
Click to expand...

To be honest OP this is something I could see myself writing word for word about my own younger sister. I don't know if there is a right answer though. I do my best to keep things civil and don't let it interfere with my family obligations. I generally just keep my distance from her and her problems and that works for me. Just don't let her take advantage of you.
 
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