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Is it wrong to hate your sibling?

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I honestly feel bad for those of you that don't get along with your siblings. My younger brother is my best friend in the entire world and I get along with my sister even if I don't connect with her as much since she is 8 years younger then me.


I suggest you try to mend your relationship with her but I don't know how to go about it. My brother and I grew close when we both went to an online school for 1 year. We got to play Runescape updates when they came out immediately and had lots of laughs together.


Perhaps find 1 thing you both enjoy and try to find time when you can both do that. You could try something like Just Dance as that is fun even for non gamers.
 
I mean outright hate them? Maybe that's not so good. Having nothing to do with them, perfectly understandable.

My younger brother only recently pulled himself out of the selfish, entitled, and idiotic spiral that dominated his life. We're talking about someone who:

* Only recently got a job (he's 30 btw)
* Spent the entirety of his academic career flipping out every time a paper or project came up (I'm not exaggerating when I say he only made it through HS and college with myself and my parents doing some/all of the work in some cases)
*Used his sexual orientation as an excuse to be a brat (him being gay was basically a license to yell at my parents whenever he couldn't get his way). Keep in mind my parents, while confused, never told him he was evil, never kicked him out of the house, and still treated him like a human being- which is more than he gave them.
*Tormented my mother with such vile and hurtful comments that I'm convinced played some part in her early death.

I might have been able to move past all that...but not a week after our mother passed away from cancer (not helped by the 10+ years of stress and hell he put her through), he had the gall to tell one of his friends over the phone that the woman who had raised him, cared for him, and had helped him at every step of his life, was somehow the worst mother ever. It took everything I had not to cave his skull in (I was in another room and overheard this). To this day he believes he did nothing wrong his entire life...and that's something you don't get past.

So while it might be wrong to hate your siblings, it's certainly okay to disown them.
 
Totally fine. Personally I lean towards indifferent to all three of my older siblings. The two younger ones are ok.
Heck, I talk to my mom about once a month and that's more for her sake than me caring that much. I see her maybe twice a year. Got 8 nieces and nephews that I basically don't know and have no need to do so.

My wife and friends are my family, them I could choose on my own
 
I absolutely hated my sister when I was younger. She knew every button to push to anger me, and she sadistically took great pleasure in doing it.

Now that we're older I don't hate her anymore. I simply don't have any time for her. I see her at Christmas and Thanksgiving, and that's it. She asks me to come and visit sometimes, but I honestly have no emotional attachment to her.
 
I hate my older sister..

Quick back story on why

Parents went on Vacation left her in charge..
Brother and I saw her once.
I got got sick and needed to be hospitalized..
She was caught by the cops trafficking cocaine through the airport. served 9 years.
Since that day i can't stand the site of her and haven't spoken to her in 26 years..
 
I would never hate a sibling unless they committed some horrible transgression. Being an annoying shit isn't enough for me to mentally exile them or treat them like trash. That just means I'm being immature and stupid.

Whenever I see threads like this I always wonder what kind of person the OP is because at the end of the day we're only seeing one side of the equation.
 
you can love her but still dislike her if she's being a selfish mess. But you can also help her out and at least point out the right way for her, even if she ignores it. One day she might surprise you and listen.
 
Only if she doesn't respect the depth and quality of the anime you watch.

(Was that GAF thread ref dank enough?)

You don't have to love someone because you're related.
 
My older sister was spoiled, mom finally admitted now that she's 30, but she had legitimate hormonal issues as she was prescribed some serious stuff. It was disgusting and rage inducing to see how she treated my mother and I vowed to never be anything like her. It didn't help she was pretty so got what ever the fuck she wanted from others sadly

Being an adult, she has luckily turned into a normal person.
 
Growing up my older brother would beat the shit out me and tease me. Around 11 I stood up to him and gave him a black eye and a bloody lip. Ever since then I hated him, before I didn't care after that I hated him. Countless fist fights later and all kinds of other shit, it all blew up about 5 years ago when he stopped by my folks house and was hitting my mom up for money and I was in town and wanted to see my folks. My dad wasn't home and I walked into my mom and him yelling and saw him spit on my mom........This is the woman who raised me, has taken care of me, the glue of the whole extended family. All bets were off, at that moment I knew this vile piece shit needed to DIE. I beat the fucking shit outta this man, last thing I remember was my mom yelling at me and I was on top of him pounding his face in. Haven't seen him since....don't care. So I feel its ok to hate your sibling.
 
Spring Drive said:
This is what happens when people watch Game of Thrones too much
Click to expand...

A true Game of Thrones fan knows that siblings can love each other very much.

On topic, it is not wrong to hate your siblings. It is not even wrong to hate a parent if they were abusive. I love my family because they treated me and raised me well, but I understand not everyone has had that bliss.
 
Though I wish it were otherwise, it is perfectly possible for your family members to be detestable human beings and as such there is nothing wrong with hating them.

I myself hate my uncle because he is an abusive asshole to his family. Luckily, I'm on fairly good terms with my sister who is a fairly decent person most of the time.
 
LastGamer84 said:
I mean outright hate them? Maybe that's not so good. Having nothing to do with them, perfectly understandable.

My younger brother only recently pulled himself out of the selfish, entitled, and idiotic spiral that dominated his life. We're talking about someone who:

* Only recently got a job (he's 30 btw)
* Spent the entirety of his academic career flipping out every time a paper or project came up (I'm not exaggerating when I say he only made it through HS and college with myself and my parents doing some/all of the work in some cases)
*Used his sexual orientation as an excuse to be a brat (him being gay was basically a license to yell at my parents whenever he couldn't get his way). Keep in mind my parents, while confused, never told him he was evil, never kicked him out of the house, and still treated him like a human being- which is more than he gave them.
*Tormented my mother with such vile and hurtful comments that I'm convinced played some part in her early death.

I might have been able to move past all that...but not a week after our mother passed away from cancer (not helped by the 10+ years of stress and hell he put her through), he had the gall to tell one of his friends over the phone that the woman who had raised him, cared for him, and had helped him at every step of his life, was somehow the worst mother ever. It took everything I had not to cave his skull in (I was in another room and overheard this). To this day he believes he did nothing wrong his entire life...and that's something you don't get past.

So while it might be wrong to hate your siblings, it's certainly okay to disown them.
Click to expand...
im sorry this is so sad,your mom went through a lot , and what could happen to your brother to start behaving like that absolutely not normal at all,
 
Wonder how old she is... Sounds like a pretty typical teenage girl, but if she's in her later twenties then eh, don't have much to go on.

I hated my siblings when I was a kid, and have definitely since come around on them, but still find faults... Just like I'm sure they do in me.
 
I absolutely hated my brother after 7th grade until he moved out to go to college. After we got distance and we both grew up a bit things changed a lot. Now I wouldn't call him my best friend but I'd defiantly take a bullet for him.

Him also wanting to be the cool uncle that spoils my kid when she gets old enough is also pretty nice.

So not sure if things will get better for you with distance but it worked for me.
 
Yeah, definitely your decision to make. I've never subscribed to the "but it's your Mother!" or "but it's your Brother" kind of thinking. Some people, blood related or not, are not worth the time and effort.
 
I would only say it's not okay to "hate" your sibling if you are constantly being upset, stressed, angry, etc because of your hate. If you are simply choosing not to love them, don't want them in your life, don't want to talk to them again... That's all right. But being consumed by hate for anyone isn't very healthy.

Unfortunately I fall into the same camp as you and several others in this thread. My sister abused me physically and emotionally to the point where I would be terrified to be alone in a room with her. I can't forgive her for these actions when she acts like nothing happened because she can't "remember" her beating me up. But I'm not consumed by hate for her. I pretty much just "let it go." It helps that we are both older and don't live with each other. I don't really have to see her ever again, unless we end up both visiting around the holidays (which hasn't happened so far because work conflicts...). I literally only speak to her, online, for birthdays and Christmas, and I am okay with just that.

If you are not both older, and you don't live away from each other, I would say still try to give her another shot. Only you can be a judge on if your sister can truly improve herself and be respectable enough to be a part of your life again. Yes, family is important...but only when family members can respect one another. If there's no respect, it's not fair. You have to watch out and take care of yourself too, OP. Even if the person is just shitty and not abusive, like in my case, it's still completely fair if you don't want anything to do with her again.
 
Nah. Family are the people that treat you right. Shitty people are shitty people and you don't have to include them in your family.
 
Replace younger sister with older in the OP and you've got where I've been at for a while. It's become clearer over the last few years as I've matured and she hasn't that my sister is a spoiled fucking teenager living in a 31 year old body. I wouldn't go so far as to say I hate her, but I have almost no relationship with her, despite us both living with our parents, and I don't really think it'd bother me too much if we ended up not seeing each other again.
 
SwolBro said:
I absolutely loathe my younger sister. I have nothing in common with her, i find her to be the most obnoxious, self-entitled, spoiled brat i've ever met. She cares about no one but herself, and doesn't mind burdening the rest of the family with her drama and problems both emotionally and financially.

I try to feel bad but then she does something that just blows my mind with the level of disrespect and lack of consideration for others. Do i have a moral obligation to try and see beyond all this and love her regardless because she's my sister? I'm increasingly finding it harder to do so.

I often feel if i never spoke to her again that i'd be completely ok with it and happier for it.
Click to expand...

Do you live at home? Because this is the kind of thing that happens when you're still living at home.
 
Uncle_Classy said:
Replace younger sister with older in the OP and you've got where I've been at for a while. It's become clearer over the last few years as I've matured and she hasn't that my sister is a spoiled fucking teenager living in a 31 year old body. I wouldn't go so far as to say I hate her, but I have almost no relationship with her, despite us both living with our parents, and I don't really think it'd bother me too much if we ended up not seeing each other again.
Click to expand...

Wow, this is the exact same scenario I'm in. It feels like I wrote this myself.

My sister is 31 too. I'm 27.
 
Feelings are largely things that happen to us. You don't have to fan the flames of contempt or whatever, but if you don't like her you don't like her. I think it's generally good advice to try to see the good in people, but you're never obligated to like anyone.
 
Depends on the reason. Did she do something in particular where it was her intent to harm you or cause you some kind of undue duress? I mean I guess you can hate anyone for anything you want, but, at the end of the day, "she's annoying" doesn't seem to be a good reason to express something as soul crushingly bitter and angry as hatred towards her.

Hating something is much harder on you than on whoever you think the hatred is directed towards, so just make sure it's something you find worth the emotional angst.
 
SwolBro said:
she has a low paying job, and she's a single mom. everyone has to take care of her kid when she wants to go out.... besides her own baby dady of course.
Click to expand...

At least she's working and trying to do what's best for the kid, what about you OP, are you the loner type with not that much social interaction and that's why you hate her and have to cut her down like you do.

Also bringing the kid into it is pretty gross.

Maybe just maybe you're the dick?!
 
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