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Is it wrong to hold bipolar disorder against someone?

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He hasn't been officially diagnosed, but he exhibits ALL the signs.

This really does not mean shit than. Go take him to a doctor and get him diagnosed and get him some help. (He might not even have Bipolar the signs to me don't really scream out Bipolar at all)

If he really does have Bipolar he will probably have his first mania to depression episode as he closes in on 20. (Trust me seeing someone you love go through a mania to depression episode is one of the most heart breaking things you'll see if you have any sort of love towards that person.)
 
Esiquio said:
The balance between enabling and supporting is difficult, but you'll have to find it. Explain your feelings and be calm and reasonable about it. Also try recording him on your phone when he's raging. Maybe some playback will give him an idea of what he sounds like and have a small effect.

I'd be careful about this one. It's likely just my personal experience, but Bi-Polar individuals can have a paranoid streak. I recorded my family member once and she ended up flipping out and claimed I was listening in on her phone calls, hiding cameras in her room, etc.

Maybe my case was just especially paranoid, but I would caution against anything that you think might provoke them to act out, especially if they're not actually diagnosed yet and think you're trying to fuck with them.
 
IAmtheFMan said:
I assume there's more to his actions and things that you've noticed then events like the one in the OP. What's described in and of itself does not sound like bipolar disorder.

I'll use this site to describe his behavior along with examples:

Mania:

Feeling unusually “high” and optimistic OR extremely irritable
-he once claimed that he was going to get all As on his tests. He later revealed that he hadn't studied for any of them (or even went to class) and failed most of them.
-he's also VERY irritable. If you don't give him direct answers in an innocuous tone, he'll go "what did you say?" in an offended, belligerent manner and he'll warp the conversation in order to conclude that nobody wants him to succeed and that everyone lies to him and blah blah blah. In other words, you are henceforth an enemy.

Unrealistic, grandiose beliefs about one’s abilities or powers
-he used to refer to himself as God and said that he could literally do anything.

Sleeping very little, but feeling extremely energetic
-doesn't really exhibit this; he sleeps regularly

Talking so rapidly that others can’t keep up
-says so many things and makes it unable for someone to respond at times.

Racing thoughts; jumping quickly from one idea to the next
-we went to Applebee's the other day and he literally talked the ENTIRE way there. And whatever was on his mind would be interrupted by everything outside the car; he would start discussions about everything that he saw (people walking on the sidewalk, the drivers in other cars, stray dogs and cats, the weather, etc.). ADD to the max. He wasn't excited; he was just fucking TALKING >_<

Highly distractible, unable to concentrate
-see above.

Impaired judgment and impulsiveness
-90% of the more intense conversations with him ends in him declaring that he "can't wait to get a gun". We were talking about one of his managers being fired for sexually harassing some female employee and he concludes that he "should get a gun"....even though he no longer works there and had no involvement in the sexual harassment thing.

Acting recklessly without thinking about the consequences
-hasn't done anything "dangerous". The dumbest thing he did was he once got intentionally detained by a policeman.

Delusions and hallucinations (in severe cases)
-he thinks that the feds has our house bugged....because "he knows the truth".
-Also, the people he plays in videogames online are "out to get him" in real life--through the video game--and he feels that how they interact (fighting and/or using certain moves) is a personal attack against HIM.
-he "fixed" one of our older computers (and by "fixed", he just updated every single program) and claims that it runs faster than a brand new computer that can be purchased at a store. So because of this, he's a "computer genius". He also claimed that you don't need to wait for any of the windows to load....even though NOTHING has changed -_- It's still slow at times and we even watched and waited 20 seconds for a window to load...so the obvious explanation was that the "something" was out to prove him wrong.
-he came to my room the other day (totally and completely unprovoked) and told me that because I don't "sit in his room" (because he sits in mine), I'm apparently out to get him.....because I stand, rather than sit, in his room

When it comes to depression and hopelessness, he'll go a few days without saying anything to anyone (after going says without being able to STFU). And when he does talk, it's about how awful the world is and whatnot.

So either he's bipolar or just crazy.
 
I understand that it's rough, but I hate it when people use it as an excuse.

"Why didn't you get this done in time?"
"What's wrong with you? I'm bipolar!"
 
"No you're not. I'm taking my PS3 back to my room and if you put the disc in then we're going to have a problem."
"We already have a problem. You're being an obnoxious asshole."

then walk away and leave him with his thoughts
 
ronito said:
I understand that it's rough, but I hate it when people use it as an excuse.

"Why didn't you get this done in time?"
"What's wrong with you? I'm bipolar!"

I don't think this is the case with the OP (especially after his last post), but yeah... lots and lots of dumbfucks think having a mental disorder makes them cool (i.e. "I have Asperger's because people don't get me in social situations and I like to sit in my room and draw all day.")
 
Copernicus said:
As for the circumstances around your "encounter" you sound like a bitch. He wants to use his PS3, he can use it.

LOL, you sound like an accomplished asshole.

I don't think this is the case with the OP (especially after his last post), but yeah... lots and lots of dumbfucks think having a mental disorder makes them cool (i.e. "I have Asperger's because people don't get me in social situations and I like to sit in my room and draw all day.")

Yeah, this definitely isn't the case. We've only discussed what I think is bipolar disorder once and he has NEVER mentioned it. Sometimes he rationalizes his behavior (when I bring it to his attention) by saying that everyone else does it or that he just doesn't care.
 
MIMIC said:
Delusions and hallucinations (in severe cases)
-he thinks that the feds has our house bugged....because "he knows the truth".
-Also, the people he plays in videogames online are "out to get him" in real life--through the video game--and he feels that how they interact (fighting and/or using certain moves) is a personal attack against HIM.
-he "fixed" one of our older computers (and by "fixed", he just updated every single program) and claims that it runs faster than a brand new computer that can be purchased at a store. So because of this, he's a "computer genius". He also claimed that you don't need to wait for any of the windows to load....even though NOTHING has changed -_- It's still slow at times and we even watched and waited 20 seconds for a window to load...so the obvious explanation was that the "something" was out to prove him wrong.
-he came to my room the other day (totally and completely unprovoked) and told me that because I don't "sit in his room" (because he sits in mine), I'm apparently out to get him.....because I stand, rather than sit, in his room

When it comes to depression and hopelessness, he'll go a few days without saying anything to anyone (after going says without being able to STFU). And when he does talk, it's about how awful the world is and whatnot.

So either he's bipolar or just crazy.

That sounds less like BP and more like paranoid schizophrenia : /
 
Be patient, it's an illness, but yeah dude should get help. My aunt...shit's real. But people are perfectly ok when they're working at it.
 
MIMIC [b said:
Feeling unusually “high” and optimistic OR extremely irritable[/b]
-he once claimed that he was going to get all As on his tests. He later revealed that he hadn't studied for any of them (or even went to class) and failed most of them.
-he's also VERY irritable. If you don't give him direct answers in an innocuous tone, he'll go "what did you say?" in an offended, belligerent manner and he'll warp the conversation in order to conclude that nobody wants him to succeed and that everyone lies to him and blah blah blah. In other words, you are henceforth an enemy.

Unrealistic, grandiose beliefs about one’s abilities or powers
-he used to refer to himself as God and said that he could literally do anything.

Sleeping very little, but feeling extremely energetic
-doesn't really exhibit this; he sleeps regularly

Talking so rapidly that others can’t keep up
-says so many things and makes it unable for someone to respond at times.

Racing thoughts; jumping quickly from one idea to the next
-we went to Applebee's the other day and he literally talked the ENTIRE way there. And whatever was on his mind would be interrupted by everything outside the car; he would start discussions about everything that he saw (people walking on the sidewalk, the drivers in other cars, stray dogs and cats, the weather, etc.). ADD to the max. He wasn't excited; he was just fucking TALKING >_<

Highly distractible, unable to concentrate
-see above.

Impaired judgment and impulsiveness
-90% of the more intense conversations with him ends in him declaring that he "can't wait to get a gun". We were talking about one of his managers being fired for sexually harassing some female employee and he concludes that he "should get a gun"....even though he no longer works there and had no involvement in the sexual harassment thing.

Acting recklessly without thinking about the consequences
-hasn't done anything "dangerous". The dumbest thing he did was he once got intentionally detained by a policeman.

Delusions and hallucinations (in severe cases)
-he thinks that the feds has our house bugged....because "he knows the truth".
-Also, the people he plays in videogames online are "out to get him" in real life--through the video game--and he feels that how they interact (fighting and/or using certain moves) is a personal attack against HIM.
-he "fixed" one of our older computers (and by "fixed", he just updated every single program) and claims that it runs faster than a brand new computer that can be purchased at a store. So because of this, he's a "computer genius". He also claimed that you don't need to wait for any of the windows to load....even though NOTHING has changed -_- It's still slow at times and we even watched and waited 20 seconds for a window to load...so the obvious explanation was that the "something" was out to prove him wrong.
-he came to my room the other day (totally and completely unprovoked) and told me that because I don't "sit in his room" (because he sits in mine), I'm apparently out to get him.....because I stand, rather than sit, in his room

When it comes to depression and hopelessness, he'll go a few days without saying anything to anyone (after going says without being able to STFU). And when he does talk, it's about how awful the world is and whatnot.

So either he's bipolar or just crazy.

Gotcha. That sounds more like bipolar, and even from the examples you've given, he's close to meeting criteria. It's difficult to do without meeting him, but I'd suspect that there's a concurrent personality disorder of the Cluster B traits (at least as long as DSM IV is around...) specifically some borderline personality traits too. The two go hand in hand a lot of times.

He really needs to be seen and treated by a psychiatrist. I'd approach the topic with your whole family and let him know that you're worried about him especially when he makes comments like he "can't wait to get a gun." The problem is that it sounds like his insight into his actions isn't there yet. Be patient but supportive.
 
i'm pretty sure you are misinterpreting bipolar as having sudden changes of mind, which is nothing to do with it. bipolar generally means an extreme of mood that switches over weeks or months. switching even over a few hours is very rare.
 
RedGamer said:
Here's the correct response to this thread:

It's his PS3. End of story. He can do what he wants with it.

That's missing the point of the OP though. The brother's rights with his PS3 weren't questioned. The question is would it be wrong to hold stuff like this against someone with bipolar disorder.

--------

Don't know if this has been covered yet, but why hasn't he been officially diagnosed yet?
And yeah, brother or not, he'd have a hard time getting money off me doing stuff like this.
 
panda21 said:
i'm pretty sure you are misinterpreting bipolar as having sudden changes of mind, which is nothing to do with it. bipolar generally means an extreme of mood that switches over weeks or months. switching even over a few hours is very rare.
Nice to know that I am rare. 'Cus without meds my mood changes 10 times a day. And that said, this is a lot worse that any form of bipolar. With meds, no mood swings. I don't believe in God, but my doc it is one to me.
 
My girlfriend of 3 years is clinically diagnosed with bipolar. My solution to you: get your brother to the doctor and get him started on some medication. Seriously, it makes a world of difference. Aside from that, you do have to be incredibly patient, but you also have to let them know how you're feeling when they're doing weird shit. Like my girlfriend will go on talking sprees where she switches subjects a hundred times so I tell her, "Hey Sus, I have no idea what you're talking about anymore but you sound cute." The point is not to make it stop, it's just so she's aware of what she's doing. Helps a lot. I love her to death, but it definitely takes a completely different mindset to tend to a bipolar person.
 
MIMIC said:
...is always asking me for money....and I usually oblige him. I even gave him money to fix his stupid skateboard.

MIMIC said:
I usually listen as he talks my ear off during his manic episodes...

Bipolar or not, if you give a person who treats you like crap free money and attention, they have no reason not to continue treating you like crap.
 
You should get him officially diagnosed, then get him drugs.

Everyone's happy, you'll be able to watch your movie.
 
He was asleep so I wrote him a note and slipped it under his door. It wasn't too lengthy but I told him how I felt and "not to ask me for anything ever again" until he at LEAST gets checked out for what I believe is bipolar disorder.

I hope I wasn't too aggressive (or insensitive) but I guess it's past the point where I'm going to tip toe around the issue and allow him to behave however he wants.
 
MIMIC said:
He was asleep so I wrote him a note and slipped it under his door. It wasn't too lengthy but I told him how I felt and "not to ask me for anything ever again" until he at LEAST gets checked out for what I believe is bipolar disorder.

I hope I wasn't too aggressive (or insensitive) but I guess it's past the point where I'm going to tip toe around the issue and allow him to behave however he wants.

Out of curiosity, is your mother not involved/concerned in this matter?
 
Joates said:
Out of curiosity, is your mother not involved/concerned in this matter?

I brought my theory to her attention a few months ago so now she knows how to respond to whenever he randomly flies off the handle (or whenever he gets manic). Also, she has noticeably changed the way she interacts with him.

So she's definitely concerned, but I guess the extent of "involvement" is up for interpretation.
 
You can't hold it against them in a moral sense, because it's not a choice.
But you don't have to take all their shit either if you don't feel like it.
Just remember: it's probably fucking horrible for your brother as well. He never asked for this, yadda yadda.
 
JoeBoy101 said:
This. My wife is bipolar, with manic anxiety so she doesn't even have happy energetic mood swings.

My condolences. I've recently been diagnosed as bipolar II with hypomanic anxiety, so we're in close to the same boat. I know how miserable it made my wife, so I imagine it's been tough on you.
 
scar tissue said:
You can't hold it against them in a moral sense, because it's not a choice.
But you don't have to take all their shit either if you don't feel like it.
Just remember: it's probably fucking horrible for your brother as well. He never asked for this, yadda yadda.

LOL, that's the thing. It's not like he CHOSE to be like this but at the same time, my nerves are practically frayed. But I'm not going to throw my hands up and abandon him....even though I've felt like doing it on several occasions.

Fake edit: OK, now my mom is actively involved. I just asked my brother if he read the note and he said yes. Then I asked him what he thought about it. He rambled about something then I asked if he felt if that he needed to talk to someone and he said no (shocking). So I said I would give him more time to think about it.

So I went to my mom and basically told her to fucking get him to talk to SOMEONE so he could be properly diagnosed (or so we could have SOME explanation as to why he behaves as such) because I am serious about him not asking me for anything anymore.

just buy a 2nd bluray player and plenty of soda

LOL, I literally just bought a blu ray player 5 minutes ago on eBay. ^_^
 
MIMIC said:
So I went to my mom and basically told her to fucking get him to talk to SOMEONE so he could be properly diagnosed (or so we could have SOME explanation as to why he behaves as such) because I am serious about him not asking me for anything anymore.

That someone should be a psychiatrist. Your general practitioner is likely to make the situation worse. When my wife finally convinced me to get help, I went to my GP, who gave me Lexapro, which is contraindicated for people who are bipolar with unstabilized moods, because it can cause more rapid cycling, and exacerbate the depression. So I took it for a while, getting worse and worse as I went.

It wasn't until I saw a psychiatrist, who got me on mood stabilizers, that I began to see improvement. A GP isn't capable of determining what their problem is, particularly with something like bipolar II, which can present in unusual fashions (like co-morbid unipolar depression and anxiety, for which Lexapro is recommended.)
 
besada said:
That someone should be a psychiatrist. Your general practitioner is likely to make the situation worse. When my wife finally convinced me to get help, I went to my GP, who gave me Lexapro, which is contraindicated for people who are bipolar with unstabilized moods, because it can cause more rapid cycling, and exacerbate the depression. So I took it for a while, getting worse and worse as I went.

I was put on various antidepressants that either didn't work at all or made me worse from 14 (starting with Zoloft) through 25, before one of the various psychiatrists finally diagnosed me properly and referred me to testing with a psychologist (MMPI-2/MCMI-III) this year. Unfortunately she turned out to be a bitch and I'm back to my old psych but man do I function a lot better now that we all know I need stuff like Seroquel and Lamictal instead of Prozac or Cymbalta. I'd urge anyone who isn't getting better with a particular psychiatrist after about a year to get a fresh set of eyes.
 
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