• Hey Guest. Check out your NeoGAF Wrapped 2025 results here!

Is physical retaliation for verbal abuse ever justifiable?

Status
Not open for further replies.
Xeke said:
I feel the majority of people who say they would kick somebody's ass for saying something would probably get their ass beat by most people, I know I would.:lol

Say that to my FACE! :lol
 
I have a friend who's wife was about to rip a picture of his recently deceased mother. I'll just say that some of the events that happened afterwards involved a hand around a throat and a head in a toilet.

And I believe they were appropriate for that situation.
 
Hey, you guys remember Bob White? The guy that beat a guy within an inch of his life and took out one of his eyes?The guy that said he thinks he was in legal trouble because of it, and then vanished - presumably to jail?

Yeah.
 
Flo_Evans said:
Heres a tip: most women do NOT like their men getting in bar fights.

Pro tip: most humans hate being grouped and generalized into categories. Makes you look like a non-deserving of his smugness grade A fool.
 
MoxManiac said:
Hey, you guys remember Bob White? The guy that beat a guy within an inch of his life and took out one of his eyes?The guy that said he thinks he was in legal trouble because of it, and then vanished - presumably to jail?

Yeah.
Wasn't that his dad he did that to?

Anyway, this may be a shocker, but you don't have to beat someone within an inch of their lives to physically retaliate.
 
There's literally no insult that could make me hit someone.
That said, there is something someone could say that would result in me hitting them.
If someone were in my face wanting to fight and I asked them something along the lines of, "So you're sure that's what you want?" and their answer was yes, they'd get sucker-punched before they could even finish saying it.
 
God, I think about this all the time. Also I think about when it's okay to hit a woman, and when it's crossed the line enough to kill someone badly. If a guy is threatening to put me into a weird sex machine to rip my junk off, and his stamina is better than mine, so I cannot run away, I might resort to physical violence if my strength is higher than his(probably). I'm just tired of weird guys downtown that keep saying weird stuff to me, even when I'm with my girlfriend. I might fight back if a guy says something too insane.
 
Freshmaker said:
Glad you agree with your own response.

Aaanyhooo...

The way I chose to respond requires that I make at least one character outside of the quote box. I'll respond to your last comment outside of the quote box to make myself seem a little less pompous!

He forfeits the right to live in a civil manner if he elects to be uncivil. There's a wacky (since you seem determined to tone the nature of the comment down progressively with each new post) comment, then there's a focused, direct attack that has no other purpose than to wound.

Isn't civility at least partially defined by law? The guy, as rediculous as it was, had every single legal right to say what he said. It's simple freedom of speech, right? The attack on him was in no way legal. And if a civil society isn't defined by obeying laws, then how would you define it?



There was no precedent for that lawsuit. It was fueled by sheer malice.

Meh, I don't know the details of the case, but rediculous lawsuits have been filed for a long long time, no matter the reason.



Both. It's not a binary choice.

Fair enough.

Whoopie. Nancy Grace has talked people into killing themselves etc. Vicious comments aren't exactly immune to causing harm as well. (The odds of one punch leading to serious harm are about the same.)

Who's Nancy Grace? She's insulted people to the point of them killing themselves? Or she's talked them into it? There's a difference. You can talk someone into killing themselves without saying anything vicious.

Pfft.

You seem to not care about legal matters much. If I were the guy I would have sued. The guy who said what he did legally did nothing wrong. The kid who punched him did.

Both would be better.

If the offended parties needed that for satisfaction, then I guess. I just think it's too bad they need to hit someone to get satisfaction, or that they need satisfaction at all. It seems way too close to the whole vigilante justice thing to me.


.


Let me just add that I think most people feel the need to respond violently when their pride is hurt, or when they feel they need to defend someone's honor. Maybe it's the way I was raised, but if someone called my mom a c*nt to her face while I was there, we would both laugh, and walk away. The only verbal things which should EVER hurt someone are things which are truthful. And if it's actually truth, then you should come to terms with it, rather than be mad that someone said it. Why would I ever get mad at someone who is mad saying something untruthful (and usually just bizarre or silly) to me? I know it's a lie, people close to me know it's a lie. What's it matter?
 
Timedog said:
God, I think about this all the time. Also I think about when it's okay to hit a woman, and when it's crossed the line enough to kill someone badly. If a guy is threatening to put me into a weird sex machine to rip my junk off, and his stamina is better than mine, so I cannot run away, I might resort to physical violence if my strength is higher than his(probably). I'm just tired of weird guys downtown that keep saying weird stuff to me, even when I'm with my girlfriend. I might fight back if a guy says something too insane.
That's a very interesting situation, and also the fact that you think about it a lot.
 
Nicktals said:
Isn't civility at least partially defined by law? The guy, as rediculous as it was, had every single legal right to say what he said. It's simple freedom of speech, right? The attack on him was in no way legal. And if a civil society isn't defined by obeying laws, then how would you define it?
Freedom of speech has limits, and you really can't go around spewing invectives, get punched and expect a judge to sympathize with you.

Who's Nancy Grace? She's insulted people to the point of them killing themselves? Or she's talked them into it? There's a difference. You can talk someone into killing themselves without saying anything vicious.
Nancy Grace runs some kind of talk show on Court TV. She's a former prosecutor and she spends a lot of time deciding who's right and who's wrong in a legal case then she doggedly attacks the party she thinks is in the wrong.

In one case, she brought a mother on her show who's daughter disappeared. Grace spent the whole time accusing the woman of killing her daughter. The lady killed herself shortly thereafter.

Another interesting example of harmless words with no power and therefore there's no reason to ever react to them...

http://www.tmcnet.com/usubmit/2007/12/06/3147036.htm

A thoroughly disgusting case.

You seem to not care about legal matters much. If I were the guy I would have sued. The guy who said what he did legally did nothing wrong. The kid who punched him did.
I doubt he'd have won.

If the offended parties needed that for satisfaction, then I guess. I just think it's too bad they need to hit someone to get satisfaction, or that they need satisfaction at all. It seems way too close to the whole vigilante justice thing to me.

Self defense is legal IIRC.

Let me just add that I think most people feel the need to respond violently when their pride is hurt, or when they feel they need to defend someone's honor.
That's great, but there are occasions where it's not just a matter of ego. Smugly dismissing all altercations as ego's nice and all, but it's not reality.
 
PrinceAdam said:
That's a very interesting situation, and also the fact that you think about it a lot.

You never think about the level of other people's attributes relative to your own?
 
If it's a legitimate threat, the person is relentlessly verbally abusing you, or they say something that will knowingly hurt the person by a great amount (the levious example, for example), physical retaliation is absolutely justifiable.

Hell, I'm of the mind that physical abuse is always justifiable - whether or not it's legal. If someone's dumb enough to throw verbal punches at me with the intent of inciting hurt or anger, they should expect to have some nonverbal fists coming their way.

I've never resorted to this kind of violence, but if I was pushed to it far enough I wouldn't feel unjustified in doing so.
 
Meh, if its appropriate I'll fight someone. Dont matter to me, way to many people here saying "no never sovles anything" and that has a lot of loopholes.

While I agree it wont solve anything what does drugs and drinking do when your having a bad day? What if someone was shit talking to your mom?

The following is a true story that happened to me when i was around 18-19.

My family has a feud with the neighbors in front. They just dislike eachother. My dad gets along with them because he tries to keep the peace unless otherwise. Families and extended familes all started as friends, some just stop liking each other.

Anyways, my uncle did work on the neighbors house, my uncle ended up screwing them over,(he does that to family as well) the neighbors tried taking it out on us, giving nasty looks and what not. My uncle would drive by and they'd talk shit to each other and everything. One way or another, my mother and one of the neighbors started arguing, my mom not trying to turn it physical but was doing those "w/e haha w/e" type rebuttals which was pissing the neighbor off more.

The neighbor husband comes out along with the daughter who is around 28 and start talking shit, my dad steps in trying to calm everyone down. Husband of neighbor saying he knows my dad is good people but my mom shouldnt be talking shit etc.

They LITERALLY cross the street and come to my gate, my mom goes to the sidewalk my dad pulling her back, all 3 of them talking shit, me just standing there watching them. PISSING ME OFF, me staying quite for a bit ended up losing it and telling them off, I couldnt help it with them talking shit to my mom, my dad was trying to defuse the situation.
The woman neighbor starts telling my mom to come out of the yard and fight and what not, the daughter talking shit and the husband, I tell the woman off saying fucken whoop her ass if she wants to be big shit, the husband jumps in, and I go wild and go @ it with the husband, my dad runs over to us to try to break it up, one of them try pulling me off so I swing my arm @ them hitting another while the mom takes a swing @ me.

It was basically a brawl, I didnt give a shit, I cant stand there seeing my mom being cussed out. Fact is noone gets along with those neighbors, recently the husband was arrested for fighting with his neighbor on the left. Its constant, they just start shit, they dont work, he's retired, in his early 50s I say. But they are like the young type of 50's not old old type people.

Bah /end rant. I've been in several fights due to verbal altercations, it happens, its not one of those if I dont fight I'm a pussy, but if I feel threatened, or anyone I know, in anyway I get defensive(or offensive lol) fast.
I think I have anger problems tbh.

I have a recent story @ the gas station of a 19yr old who was talking shit cuz he thought I was gonna hit his car and than decided to pull out of the pump i was waiting on extremely slow to be annoying. When he left he decided to go around and stare me down again which pissed me off since i let the initial shit talk go since my gf said too. So since he started me down passing by slowly I told him "wtf bitch wtf you looking @?" he stopped and opened his door, I went around to my driver seat took out the crow bar and proceeded to approach him to scare him. Worked fine he stayed in his truck and asked me to leave him alone cuz his kid and gf were with him. I told him dont tell me shit or stare me down for no reason etc. He apologized and left.

I was upset already and he was only 18-19 being cocky so I figured I'd scare him, call me out on the crowbar, I use anything I dont give a shit..

I'm a lover not a fighter
 
I think it is...but my one situation is unique in as much as I acted ONLY on a verbal threat...Let me explain:

A few months back, I was at a game store a few towns away from where I live, it was in a shitty neighborhood, but my friend works there, and would give me discounts, etc. So, It was a few minutes to closing, and both of us were talking, and a masked guy comes in, with what looked to be a 9mm, and wanted to rob the place.

We copoerated, as neither him, nor I really cared to be shot over the store being robbed...and he only was demanding a PS3 and a 360 (which my friend said would be tracked down anyway), so we did what he said...that is until he started on the other employee, who was a 16 year old girl, and was already freaked out on the event.

He started to make crude remarks at first, but what caused me to act was when he said (and I am quoting roughly what was said) "Maybe I'll come back later, and rape your ass after the police leave, bitch!" I had a pocket knife, which I used to disarm, what was later discovered to be an airsoft gun that was altered and held the knife to bastard's neck. I honestly don't recall what I said, but I am pretty sure I threatened him enough to make him cry and beg for mercy.

I still don't know why I didn't act, until he said that honestly...something about scaring an 'innocent' in a situation is how I explained it to the police when they came. Still, I can NOT tolerate threats against women, childeren, and those who can't defend themselves...esp. since this guy was going to get what he wanted, had he not said that.

Thankfully, the creep confessed to the crime and my testimony wasn't needed for him to go to jail...if it had, I am sure some defense attorney would try to make me feel guilt for what had happened (not that I would have...but I don't do that manipulative shit).

So, to answer, I do believe you can be justified...just be aware there are potential consequences that you may not forsee until afterwords.
 
I know this thread is old but it seems most relevant to my current situation which I need helpful advice from.

Basically tonight, my mom's financee got very drunk at this concert me, my mom and him went to. He was making very rude and obnoxious comments and was making my mother very physically uncomfortable. This led to a long night of him getting lost after the concert and many verbal arguments over the phone between him and my mother.

To make a long story short after everyone got home, and we were all going to bed (i was in my bedroom) my mom and him started getting into an argument. I then from my room heard "get away from me" from my mom, which led me to jump out of my bed and go and see what the fuck was going on...

as I was making my way to the downstairs kitchen, i then heard all this glass breaking and things smashing everywhere. I then screamed, "What the fuck is going on!" and proceeded to run towards the kitchen... my mom then screams crying, "call 911!" and so then I go into their bedroom to grab the phone...

unfortunately this is my mom's financee's house and I have no idea where the phone is or if he even has one in his bedroom... too concerned about what was happening downstairs I run to go see... at this point from hearing him screaming all these fucking weird things and such, I actually thought about the movie the shining and when jack goes fucking crazy for some reason. It was that fucked up... though for some reason I wasn't scared at all... anyway

My mom was in the living room crying and the asshole (financee) was shirtless yelling and stuff. I start yelling at him asking what he has done... and then he gets into about a 15 minute argument with me acting really macho and attempting to pick a fight with me. Luckily I get control of the situation and everyone ends up okay.

Now heres my question... I asked my mom if she at anytime felt threatened and she said yes. Apparently he never actually physically touched her, but he basically came at her and she backed off.. to which he either threw or knocked over a bunch of glass containers on the counter. But to me... it seems like something else must of happened for her to scream "call 911!"... the urgency in her voice definitely made it seem like she was in grave danger... so I am conflicted.

My mom claims to love him, and she says that 95% of the time they get along great, but when he drinks he never can control himself and goes crazy sometimes. I am of course concerned about her, but I don't know what to do. I know she is financially tied to him in the sense that if she left him... she would have little money to pay for herself and schooling for me... so I feel like she is under that pressure to not leave him.

All tonight, I have been keeping quiet listening making sure he doesn't sneak into the guest bedroom and try to hurt her or anything. I really think he's got a fucking psychotic side to himself.

Anyway... if you were me what would you do? I contacted my mother's sister and texted her about it and told her she should call my mom to talk about it... but what should be my next step?
 
Most of the time it is not, but in some cases yes. Verbal abuse is sometimes a lot more harmful than physical abuse. Our mind is much more sensitive than our bodies. but of course, physical abuse also damages the mind
 
Absolutely justifiable.

The people that say otherwise are people who haven't had to deal with verbal abuse to the point where their mental wellbeing suffers to such an extent that their self-esteem and self-confidence plummet. Years and years of this sort of abuse can be the sorts things that can help create your spree killers, your suicides, your serial killers. All this because other people can't have the decency to respect another individuals right to simple, basic dignity. If a punch in the head can solve a problem, that left unchecked could have the potential to be much more serious, then it is entirely justifiable.

Physical violence makes it forcefully clear that people need to back the fuck off and it establishes the boundaries of what you will and will not accept. This is not a pussy foot world, there are cunts out there who will do you verbal harm, and take great pleasure in it if you let them. Physical abuse is often all these people seem to understand, not reason, not logic, physical violence. Listen to their shit and do nothing and they'll show you contempt, punch the shit out of them and they'll respect you out of fear. That's the reality of the world.
 
xabre said:
The people that say otherwise are people who haven't had to deal with verbal abuse to the point where their mental wellbeing suffers to such an extent that their self-esteem and self-confidence plummet.

Not true, actually.
 
A quick jab in the mouth to shut somebody up is OK. Stamping on somebodyÂ’s head because they called your Sister fat is probably taking it a step too far however.
 
I'm usually against violence, but I found out yesterday that a cop who lives across the street from my parents taught his kids to be little racist punks and they broke the back legs of a tiny dog owned by my parents' latino neighbors. I could be absolutely OK with the cop getting his legs smashed in with a baseball bat.
 
Depending on the level of subversive undertones within the conversation. Words can be used much in the same way as machine guns or bombs, that can ultimately destroy your identity, credibility or relationships with people that you love. If you find yourself in danger of losing an important piece of your life because of something that someone is saying; Yes.

Violence is acceptable. But exalt all of your verbal efforts to resolve the issue first. Physical fighting is always a last resort, but a steadfast and reliable one as well. Be sure to approach your violence rationally and conservatively. A punch to the face will usually be enough to resolve most problems, but expect things to quickly escalate from there if they are not resolved.

Oh, and try not to kill anyone if you can.
 
isn't in the bill of rights that you have the right to freedom of speech until you talk about someone's momma, sexual orientation, race, car, and pokemon collection?

i think it is.

It's always justifiable for beatin' someones ass for talkin' too much.
 
"An armed society is a polite society"

Those are some true words, it seems that since the world became a place whee you could feel like you can say whatever or do whatever to your fellow man without some sort of retaliation that things got bad and manners and politeness were lost.

I liken it to the "civilization" of man. In the old west or perhaps even earlier when everyone had a weapon and the wherewithal to use it then most folks were polite and respectful of others since no one knew when being an ass would get you killed.

I don't justify a return to those times but there are attractive things about it.
 
sonarrat said:
Yes. And if the other guy escalated it I'd have my phone out to call the cops.

I actually see this kind of nanny state logic as a huge problem with the overall culture. It is an act of creating the hyper-individual with little regard towards others only fear of state lead retaliation.
 
I thought nothing could ever bother me worse than being called a n*****, now I realize there are a lot of reasons to lay an asshole out where he stands. Family, race, and intervening on someone else's behalf are really the only things that have ever forced me to lose it and go off.
 
Karma Kramer said:
Anyway... if you were me what would you do? I contacted my mother's sister and texted her about it and told her she should call my mom to talk about it... but what should be my next step?

We come from similar places.

I put my father in his place when he got in my mother's face and we have had a better relationship ever since. It is silly that it took what I did to make our relationship better, but, in this case, the ends justify the means... To me anyway.
 
when the person holds 100% of the conflict. like street scenarios where the person wont give up.

now, in marriages and shit, you are both to blame for the fight most likely. so it's unjust.
 
The Faceless Master said:
if there's an implied future physical threat in the verbal abuse, then yes.

More or less, that's what I said.

JayDubya said:
Never justifiable, unless the words are coupled with another action, which itself warrants action.

Which brings us back to "never justifiable" if you think about it.

Scenario #1:
"You're an asshole."
*punch*
Unjust use of force.

Scenario #2:
"I'm gonna kill you."
*punch*
Just use of force.
 
Never justifiable nor smart but hey, its not like you have total control of yourself all the time. I know I don't, especially if you push the right buttons at the right moment.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top Bottom