Just found out my girlfriend is cheating on me

erlim

yes, that talented of a member
I had a girlfriend of 4.5 years cheat on me than marry a guy I used to collaborate with that's now a very famous YouTube millionaire. Who knows if I'll ever get my "revenge by living well." But I certainly have had a hell of a time. Just be kind to yourself and gregarious. Don't forget to exercise.
 
Just needed to vent GAF. Its 2AM here and dont know who to talk to.

We've been together for about 1.5 years. We met through a dating app and have been very steady (or at least I thought so). We were talking of getting married. She met my family many times. She got her family to meet me, specifically for marriage purposes.

The thing is, the week I met her parents, she was meeting someone else. She didnt know but the guy was a Facebook friend of my sister's. Somehow this guy sees pictures of my sister with my gf on FB and just asked my sister how my sister knew my gf and that he was dating her. My sister feigned that she was only a friend of a friend of my gf and asked the guy more details as part of her conversation.

The guy told that they met on the same dating app on which me and my gf met.
They've been dating for a couple of months and have met a few times. Didnt say anything about physical relations.
That my gf told him that she is single.
The guy is sure my gf likes him and that things will progress slowly and then they might think of getting married.

I am devastated. We were about to get married, I thought! I just met her family 2 weeks back! I am thinking of confronting her face to face tomorrow.

The thing is, I would think of ignoring the guy saying they both like each other etc. But why the hell is she on the dating app still and meeting guys when we were clearly in an exclusive committed relationship? I even saw the app once on her phone a few months back and when asked she said she made some friends on it before meeting me and she still talks to them on it. I thought that was OK.

I've been so trusting. I dont like doubting my partners. I never asked where she was, what she was doing, who she was with, what her plans were or anything at all. She used to say she really liked this about me- the complete trust. Now I feel betrayed and devastated.

Nothing to do other than wait for tomorrow. Just wanted vent. Thanks for listening GAF.
Just be grateful that you sorted the true nature of this person before getting involved seriously.
Don't even look back.
 
No confrontation, just leave...don't even say anything and don't look back.
You've been gifted a golden ticket to just leave and move on, be thankful it didn't happen after you were married and had children.
 
Bring it up real casually. Say your sister knows this guy that knows her and see what she says. No matter if she comes clean or denies knowing him, you can still tell her to fuck off.
 
talk to her face to face and dump her, and be sure to tell the other guy that she cheated! You don't want him to be miserable too, as it seems he didn't knew anything!

1,5 years seems long, but a lot of relationships ends at that time! Be glad it ended now rather than in 5 years after getting married! You'll find someone else, but don't rush anything
 
True, but something just doesn't add up for me. Why would she go through the effort to bring him around family, meet his family, and even want to plan a marriage. I'm not saying it will work out, but definitely figure out what went wrong and what the hell was she thinking with the situation overall.
I think it's because people just don't make sense. Hours before I got cheated on my ex spent most of the night telling me how she wanted to marry me and have kids. I spent countless hours with her family and that included extended family. Was with her for 2 years and we did all of what the OP is saying and then some. There's just people out there who don't care when they do things like this.
 
1: Stop talking to her, completely. Just tell her its over and she knows why.

2: Block her on all fronts. Facebook, twitter, snapchat, email, phone, the whole 9 yards. Allow no contact, and let it be known you want nothing to do with her. No reason to blurt out why, just say you have your reasons.

3: Move on with life. Its gonna suck, its gonna be hard. But you gotta do it. Dont send her well wishes, dont say happy birthday, just move on.

4: Hope it doesnt happen again.
 

TheOfficeMut

Unconfirmed Member
Have sex with her one last time but do it really rough like a hate fuck.


And as soon as your finished tell her its over and you know shes been cheating.
This is some twisted fantasy that most sensible people can’t even fathom doing when in a situation like this. The last thing you want to do when you’re this hurt is even associate with the person that cheated on you, let alone have sex with them, unless you already checked out of the relationship a long time ago.
 
Everyone in this thread is right. Nothing to salvage here.

Take it from someone who is divorced, in no small part because my wife cheated on me - be glad you're finding out now, and not in 5-10 years when your lives are seriously intertwined.

As Louis CK said in one of his bits, "You can end that shit with a phone call". I had to spent months of my time and thousands in legal fees.

It hurts, and it's going to for a bit. But you're going to look back on this in a year or two and realize how lucky you are.
 
1. Sorry.
2. Dump her.
3. Move on.
4. Getting married after dating for one and a half years is an incredibly stupid idea.
I am in awe at how seemingly easy some people throw around the "marriage" word around.

Both of the guys discussing marriage already? Seriously?

I had a girlfriend of 4.5 years cheat on me than marry a guy I used to collaborate with that's now a very famous YouTube millionaire. Who knows if I'll ever get my "revenge by living well." But I certainly have had a hell of a time. Just be kind to yourself and gregarious. Don't forget to exercise.
Gawd damn
 
1: Stop talking to her, completely. Just tell her its over and she knows why.

2: Block her on all fronts. Facebook, twitter, snapchat, email, phone, the whole 9 yards. Allow no contact, and let it be known you want nothing to do with her. No reason to blurt out why, just say you have your reasons.

3: Move on with life. Its gonna suck, its gonna be hard. But you gotta do it. Dont send her well wishes, dont say happy birthday, just move on.

4: Hope it doesnt happen again.
This, but don't hold back if you feel like calling her out. I had the same approach when i found out there was another man and the moment she asked me why for the upteenth time as I was walking out the door with the slightest hint of anger in her voice I let it all out. It felt vindicating, like the ball was back in my court and i was looking down on her
 
I think it's because people just don't make sense. Hours before I got cheated on my ex spent most of the night telling me how she wanted to marry me and have kids. I spent countless hours with her family and that included extended family. Was with her for 2 years and we did all of what the OP is saying and then some. There's just people out there who don't care when they do things like this.
I guess so when you put it that way. Funny you say you went through that, my ex wanted to have another kid right before pulling her bs as well, so glad I didn't go through with it.
 
If you are strong and smart, you can use this awful experience to your advantage. You can use that sadness and hurt to give you drive , inspiration and courage for the future and change some things in your life that currently need a change, to improve or to turn things around 180. Just don't forgive her and move on, I wish you all the success in the world.
 
I had a girlfriend of 4.5 years cheat on me than marry a guy I used to collaborate with that's now a very famous YouTube millionaire. Who knows if I'll ever get my "revenge by living well." But I certainly have had a hell of a time. Just be kind to yourself and gregarious. Don't forget to exercise.
Jeez

That hurt me


Name names. What is his channel?
 
Bro,
[*]Also, you may need to start looking into perspective why she started cheating you. It seems that she started looking somewhere else when you guys started the "let's get serious thing". You need to confront her in a civilized manner. And find out the why? because if you don't it may come to hunt you in your future relationships (that's if you decide to come back to the game again).
My god, be careful with this advice.

I'd say, be ready to accept that you will probably never fully understand the "why" to this situation. If you accept that, it'll be easier in the long run. Especially if she tries to fuck with you mentally and emotionally through gaslighting and shit. If someone is willing to cheat on someone, I'd keep your expectations in check and assume the worst of this person.

But by all means, there are plenty of exceptions. But when I dealt with a cheater, she clearly had emotional issues (which rose red flags in the past but I ignored, love is blind) that led to an insane shit show in the divorce. In trying to get an answer to the "why," I was almost driven insane. Mainly because I wasn't dealing with a normal, emotionally healthy individual. And yes, I was seeing a therapist at this time.

Being introspective at this time is important. Finding your faults and flaws is key as we all have plenty of them. But don't assume that the cheating was caused by flaws of your own (other than perhaps flaws like being overly codependent or something). It's a careful process, by all means. You don't want to undersell yourself, but you don't want to over-inflate your ego. Surround yourself with support. Friends and family you can REALLY trust. People you can ground yourself with. Don't just isolate yourself with your own thoughts as they can be your worst enemy at times.
 
Get your sister to invite her out for a lunch and then get her to invite him out for lunch at the same time and then show up after they are both there.

Bring a camera.

/priceless
 
Man, how do you prevent running into shit like this?
You choose someone who is very good at communicating everything with you. Even the stuff you don't want to hear. And vice versa. You have to be willing to talk about every single one of your insecurities with your partner.

You can never have complete fidelity unless you have that deep level of brutal honesty at all times. It has to start the first time you meet the person and never waver. Every single statement out of both of your mouths has to be the truth at all times, even if it sucks.
 
OP, it's probably true that she is cheating on you, but it wouldn't hurt to lay it all out to your gf and see what she has to say.

For example, does your sister have any reason to make stuff up? Can you be sure the guy in question is telling the truth?

You can certainly just end things, and it may end up being the best option. I know if I was as serious as thinking marriage with someone, I'd want to be sure.
 
Some of the advice in this thread..

Seriously OP, take the high road and confront her calmly about it. Don't reach out to the other guy, that's just opening up a can of worms.

Have a serious conversation with your gf. Ask her about how she feels about the relationship in general, tell her how you felt prior to learning about this other guy, then share your thoughts and findings. Don't be hostile, petty, or vindictive, now matter how much it hurts - that's the easy way out and will just end up hurting you even more.

Being cheated on is one of the worst feelings out there, but don't let the infidelity consume you. If you feel like crying then bawl your eyes out. Going to the gym doesn't work for everyone.

Hope you and your gf can come to a decision that works best for you both.
 
It probably sounds impossible now, if you are head over heels in love with her, but you will find someone better and worth your time in the future. It sounds cliché, but it's really true.

Someone like that does not even deserve your attention anymore OP. Call her out when you talk to her and don't even allow her to shift any blame on yourself. People tend to blame the other person for them cheating, but that's what cowards do.
 
Seriously OP, take the high road and confront her calmly about it. Don't reach out to the other guy, that's just opening up a can of worms.
I agree it could get dicey, but the other guy deserves to know.

I'd suggest talking to the other guy first even, as that also serves to verify the cheating is taking place (since some in thread are doubting the OP has truly confirmed it, but I don't think this thread would be there if there was room for doubt)
 
Wait why did dude message your sister unsolicited exactly? To ask this random girl who's in pictures with his GF how she knows her? 🤔

Dude was tryna cheat on your cheating girl with your sis