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Last night I gave a guy $20 and I feel stupid

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Don't feel bad. I usually try to avoid giving cash whenever possible.

One time a guy came up to me with what looked to be his daughter and said he needed gas money for travel. I knew that he was pulling an older than dirt hustle by using a kid, but in the off chance that it would be helpful in someway I did give him money.

Lady always comes into my work with two kids trying to sell candy bars out of display boxes that were obviously pulled from some quick stop liquor store or gas station. Sometimes she comes in with kids and sometimes without. They say they're raising money for kids with cancer. So even trying harder to guilt you. But at least it's easier to turn them away. You can always ask for a website and name of the organization and say you'll donate there and they'll leave and say "it's okay nevermind."
 
I don't think you were unknowingly mugged. A lot of people I've given money to ask if I have anything else that I could give. I usually tell them that I have no more cash to give (which is true quite often, I rarely carry cash). The person I gave money to simply thank me and walk away.
 
It's hard to say if there is a need from someone being down on thier luck. All in all we are all people even if he was lying we should understand he is a person that we can at least respect in some way no matter what.
 
You think the homeless can't afford aftershave? You can find it in dollar stores.

It's 20 bucks, meh. I think I've given people money or paid their cover for near strangers a few times while drunk.
 
Don't feel bad OP. I felt stupid for giving someone five dollars. Pretty common here in Chicago to have people asking for money on the train and at train stations. But had someone asking people to sign some petition thing or whatever to get support for some local kids basketball team or some bullshit like that. I should have known it was sketch when the piece of paper was just some easily mocked up Microsoft word flyer with random signatures all over it. I signed it. But then the guy explained I gotta donate if I signed. I shoulda told him to fuck off at that point. But I pulled out my wallet to give him a dollar. And this motherfucker gets close to me to look in my wallet and had the nerve to go, "yo I see a 20 dollar bill there. Give me that come on." He kept trying to get me to give more money, but I ended up just giving him 5 to leave me alone. I should have e just flat out refused and called him out on his shadiness and left on my train. Anyways yeah, people years later to this day are still trying to get those basketball uniforms for their made up team.

Similar thing happened to me on Flatbush and Snyder in Brooklyn about a week ago.A guy comes running up from across the street to me asking to sign some crumpled piece of paper for a girl that was sexually assaulted in Erasmus high schooll. I say sure why not..but he doesn't have a pen. I ask him how are you asking for signatures but you don't have a pen , he says the last guy that signed forgot to give it back to him and walked away with it.He then asked if I can donate $3 to help out.I told him I'm sorry I'm almost broke and can't really help out and walked away. Went home and looked it up and didn't find anything about it ...

Telling them to "fuck off" or calling them out on their bullshit is probably a really bad idea unless you actually want to fight. Some of them will back off , but some of them will get up in your face. Best thing I think is to just say I'm sorry ,I'd like to help but I'm broke and can't right now..
 
You think the homeless can't afford aftershave? You can find it in dollar stores.

It's 20 bucks, meh. I think I've given people money or paid their cover for near strangers a few times while drunk.

It's not that he cant afford it. It implies he isn't homeless. Which is why I hope he just needed it for something important.
 
It's a tactic you gotta gotta suffer from you learn from. I feel for it too once, someone needed 5, then went "I said 10 dollars" but was hit so fast I gave her 10. Then she said amother 10 would really help, which I didn't give thank god. Now I make it a rule I don't give money when asked directly of me. Now if I see someone with a pot asking for money or holding a sign, that's a different matter.
 
Oh well, don't feel too bad. A friend of mine was in Amsterdam and thought about buying some weed. Talked to some guy and paid 100€ for enough of that stuff. The guy just said something like "Just wait here, I'll go and get some for you" and so he waited a few minutes.

He felt like the biggest dumbass for at least a week.
 
Dont give strangers money, ever ever ever.

Buy him a burger, or keep homeless kits in your trunk.

Cash is a bandaid that stops them from real help and encourages to annoy more people.

You didnt do a good thing but you can learn from it.
 
I'm not an idiot. If I feel sketched out at all I don't do shit and move on.

Good thieves and scam artists will dress and act accordingly to not "sketch people out". You're setting yourself up to get played by thinking you're good at profiling.

When people come up to others and ask for money, they're taking advantage of the kindness/fear in that other person. It's stealing imo.

Charity is a good thing, but this was theft.

I dunno man, if it was really dark out I figure he didn't know if the guy was armed or what. He felt threatened that much is clear.

I can't tell if you guys are being serious. Have you ever walked around in a metropolitan area?
 
Good thieves and scam artists will dress and act accordingly to not "sketch people out". You're setting yourself up to get played by thinking you're good at profiling.





I can't tell if you guys are being serious. Have you ever walked around in a metropolitan area?

They'd probably be yelling "thief" in a crowded metropolitan area such as NYC several times a day.
 
Ah it's the old "hey Give me five dollars, give me five dollars, give me 10 dollars" scam. Very advanced scam, not surprised you fell for it
 
Similar thing happened to me on Flatbush and Snyder in Brooklyn about a week ago.A guy comes running up from across the street to me asking to sign some crumpled piece of paper for a girl that was sexually assaulted in Erasmus high schooll. I say sure why not..but he doesn't have a pen. I ask him how are you asking for signatures but you don't have a pen , he says the last guy that signed forgot to give it back to him and walked away with it.He then asked if I can donate $3 to help out.I told him I'm sorry I'm almost broke and can't really help out and walked away. Went home and looked it up and didn't find anything about it ...

Telling them to "fuck off" or calling them out on their bullshit is probably a really bad idea unless you actually want to fight. Some of them will back off , but some of them will get up in your face. Best thing I think is to just say I'm sorry ,I'd like to help but I'm broke and can't right now..

Yeah, I'm still little mad at myself for falling for it. Escalating is a bad idea considering there was a story about someone who got beat up for calling them out for that exact scam. Soliciting money for their made up junior league basketball team on the train.
 
The guy should have kept going. OP probably would have forked over his car and keys to his house as well from how this sounds. I think the homeless dude was the charitable one.

Edit: this sounds harsh but people letting themselves get steamrolled over is a huge pet peeve of mine. I've seen people give up thousands of dollars because they are too afraid to say no.
 
Reminds me of a floormate we had in college.

Dude was from a tiny town in Indiana and went to NYC for a weekend with his girlfriend. When he got back he told us he got mugged. We asked him how it happened and he said a homeless dude asked him if he had any cash. He told the guy he was traveling so yeah he was carrying plenty. The homeless guy asked if he could have some so he says, "Can you break a hundred?"...at that point apparently some other homeless guy came over with his hand in his pocket like a gun and told him to give him all of it.

I couldn't believe someone would say that...we just stared at him.
 
I would've just gotten him a meal.

When I lived in NYC and I saw a homeless guy opening doors for spare change at a fast food joint I would just order a extra meal and give it to him as I was leaving.
 
Even if you have cash next time just tell them you only have credit.

Also never walk the streets in Vegas, you will be broke before you even get into the casinos.
 
It's not that he cant afford it. It implies he isn't homeless. Which is why I hope he just needed it for something important.


Move on. Why are you overthinking it? He asked for money, you gave it to him. You got a hug, move on with your life. The amount of time you are doing thinking about this over $20 isn't good for you. If you spent $20 on a meal that sucked, I am sure you would just let it go. Do the same here.
 
How is this a good story...? I'd pity the person who told me for getting walked over by a random guy asking for money.
Yeah... some of the responses in here are fucking bizarre. So many sheltered people.

OP, it's time to sack the fuck up. You aren't obligated to respond to anybody. If you choose to respond, just say "I don't have any" and keep walking. If they talk shit, just keep walking. If they go physical on you, you should already be mentally prepared to whup some ass.

Going into sketchy neighborhoods looking like a victim is not going to end well for you.
 
don't you have to pay a monthly fee for that?

I have thought the same thing though lol

2 minutes fleecing OP and others like him, and you've got the fee more than covered.

Grow a spine, OP. Ridiculous amount of homeless man simping in your story, just for a hug.
 
Move on. Why are you overthinking it? He asked for money, you gave it to him. You got a hug, move on with your life. The amount of time you are doing thinking about this over $20 isn't good for you. If you spent $20 on a meal that sucked, I am sure you would just let it go. Do the same here.

I probably would've been more angry about the meal. It wasn't a huge deal. I just felt stupid about it. The response here has allowed me to laugh at myself and made me feel better.
 
You gave a guy money 3 times and hugged him after? Weird.

I would've just gotten him a meal.

This is what I did when someone asked me for money at a Wendy's, he kept asking for money for food and then mentioned he really needed a cab and I'm like nah I'll just get you a couple burgers. As we're pulling away I see him lift a bike out of a ditch and ride off with his burgers.
 
Hey OP, I just realized I left my wallet at home... could I get twenty bucks?

Reminds me of a floormate we had in college.

Dude was from a tiny town in Indiana and went to NYC for a weekend with his girlfriend. When he got back he told us he got mugged. We asked him how it happened and he said a homeless dude asked him if he had any cash. He told the guy he was traveling so yeah he was carrying plenty. The homeless guy asked if he could have some so he says, "Can you break a hundred?"...at that point apparently some other homeless guy came over with his hand in his pocket like a gun and told him to give him all of it.

I couldn't believe someone would say that...we just stared at him.
Wow, what a fucking dolt.

I'm not one to victim blame, but come the fuck on.
 
Lock the door and fiddle with your phone. If he stuck around I'd get out of there.

On the street I do my level best not to acknowledge anyone asking for anything. No eye contact, no communication other than no or nope.
 
A few years back I was in a store parking lot late at night, and a woman comes up to my car asking for money.
She proceeds to tell me her sob story about how she's from out of town and her car broke down behind a McDonald's. I myself don't have much cash on me but I always feel bad for people in these situations. So I give her 5 dollars. She then rudley says "is that it?".

What kinda shit is that?

Fast forward a few weeks. Same parking lot, same time of night, same lady. Only she forgot she swindled me before. Tells me the same story only this time her car broke down behind a different fast-food place.
I want to tell her off but I'm too nice. So I give her 1 dollar and drive away.
 
this is a somewhat new phenomenon. i see people in parking lots of grocery stores going up to people coming in and asking for cash because they ran out of gas or something. its not always men, and they arent dressed like hobos. but the first time someone asked me for cash i instinctively knew something was wrong. people dont just run out of gas and ask strangers for money. especially 10 bucks.

i started noticing it more and more after that and it turns they are just drug addicts who want some cash for free. and people like you keep giving it to them.

In short, it's not charity. you are enabling them to do drugs. and dont be so scared. no one is going to shoot you in the middle of a parking lot. oh and dont ever roll down your windows.

It's not new. Every retail job I ever worked, this would happen every now and then. People work the same parking lots for days or weeks because it's so effective and it's hard to get rid of them

I have seen it in drive thru lines

Don't feel bad op, you'd be surprised how often this happens (though they do usually ask for gas money or something). Never roll your car window down when anyone approaches you as soon as you pull into a parking lot
 
How is this a good story...? I'd pity the person who told me for getting walked over by a random guy asking for money.
I didn't say it was good for him, just that it was a good story, hopefully he learned a lesson and has a cautionary tale which could also amuse the listener even at his own embarrassment.

Yeah... some of the responses in here are fucking bizarre. So many sheltered people.
Sheltered I definitely am not, but the OP obviously is. To the point he started this thread. But what's done is done berating him is not going to change a thing, neither is sympatizing with or pitying him.

He got out of the situation with a story and a lesson, one that he immediately came and posted here. I don't see how it's bizarre or makes me sheltered to point that out.

What am I supposed to do? Say "oh you fucked up this is what you should have done" after the fact?
 
Maybe if you're going into that (which is my) area.
Don't post Houston problems on here. People are some damn ignorant. They're usually well-intentioned but have no idea what they're talking about.
Post on /r/houston.

Yeah, I usually don't go downtown that often, so I'm not too familiar with the area. Outside of big events like conventions, I rarely stray far from the old Compaq campus.
 
You guys never learn, huh?
I guess. But I mean if I have a few dollars to spare and someone that's obviously worse off than me is asking for it, I'm gonna give it to them. Just seems like the right thing to do.


Also the town I live in isn't that big and doesn't have a huge homeless problem. So this kinda stuff rarely happens to me at least.
 
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