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[iRAWRasaurus]

27 and yeah love sucks. Been awhile since I talked to or dated a girl..forever alone!

But I hope the best for you!

 

[Jharp]

In a similar boat, OP. Things sure can get rough. Keep your head up, you'll get through it. I'm desperately trying.

 

[blame space]

Yeah love's the worst

 

[oxrock]

Staying friends with her is not in your best interest right now. Being friends simply won't be enough, not with someone you're in love with and you've just broken up with. It's not healthy for you or them. Make a clean break for your own good. Once you've moved on emotionally, you can always friend her on social media and rekindle a friendship from there.

You're going to feel like crap for a while, I wish there was some advice I could give for avoiding that, but it's the honest truth of the situation. My best advice is to do whatever you can to break the cycle of depression before it becomes depression. You said you feel like you're a failure, like there's no hope left, but you're only 27. Emotionally I know you're a wreck, but I hope you realize that logically you still have so much to look forward to. Use this time to prepare yourself for what's to come. Train to do things you've never done before. Invest the effort you would of been putting into your relationship into being a better you. Perhaps you can fill some of that emptiness in your chest with some pride.

I wish you the best, I think we've all been in similar circumstances. As others have said, the pains fades in time, slowly.

 

[ZombiePlatypus]

Everything sucks.
27 years old.
Gf broke up with me after 4 years.
My job sucks.
With my current salary it's going to be tough to find a new flat.

And the worst thing is, that I still love this girl. She is my best friend and I don't know what I should do without her.
Right now, I'm seriously panicking when I think of moving out / not seeing her anymore. Just this night I woke up on the couch (she stays in the bedroom for now) and had trouble breathing. We've talked a lot in the past few days and she told me that there's no chance of us getting back again. But deep within, I don't want to give up even if it's self-destructive.
She keeps telling me that it is not my fault but I know that it is actually my fucking fault. I didn't give everything to make it work and now it's too late.
People keep telling me that it will get better but how?
Right now, I don't have any hope left. I feel like a failure. Could not get a great job,could not save the relationship and can't even be on my own anymore.

I'm sorry for this stupid (and possibly cringy) thread but I just needed to get it off my chest.

Understand that there's no amount of wanting and dedication on your end that can fix this. Both parties have to be invested. If one's out, it's over.

I know it can suck unbearably, but this is the time to invest in yourself. Hit the gym. I don't care how in-shape or out of shape you are. Working out will make you feel better. Aside from that, as stated, do stuff for yourself. Pick up that hobby you always meant to pick up. Get new clothes. Buy something you wanted. Learn a new language. Etc. Do things that make you grow.

Also, surround yourself with your friends. Binge some stuff on netflix or hit up videogames.

Then, slowly, start seeing other people.

It'll get better OP.

 

[navii]

caught one, you'll catch another

 

[Stiflers Mom]

You lived more than 20 years without her in your life, you'll find a way to do it again.

I love the simpleness and philosophical trueness of this advice.

 

[SiteSeer]

Could be worse.

Could be going through divorce.

Could have kids.

basically this. plus you're still young. imagine 30 something with young kids. or even infidelity in that mix. so, could be a lot worse. i don't know if that helps. :/ good luck.

 

[RiccochetJ]

You'll be fine. Sounds like you're still talking to her. Stop that. You need to step away for a bit and completely disconnect yourself from her. I'm not saying to completely cut her out of your life, but you should do that for like 6 months.

 

[CortexVortex]

Understand that there's no amount of wanting and dedication on your end that can fix this. Both parties have to be invested. If one's out, it's over.

I know it can suck unbearably, but this is the time to invest in yourself. Hit the gym. I don't care how in-shape or out of shape you are. Working out will make you feel better. Aside from that, as stated, do stuff for yourself. Pick up that hobby you always meant to pick up. Get new clothes. Buy something you wanted. Learn a new language. Etc. Do things that make you grow.

Also, surround yourself with your friends. Binge some stuff on netflix or hit up videogames.

Then, slowly, start seeing other people.

It'll get better OP.

Hitting the gym sounds good. I was always talking about how I would get back into shape eventually, maybe now is the time to actually do it. I always wanted to learn Japanese. So yeah, I guess I could visit a course.

I know, that a relationship needs both parties to make it work. It's just... it's hard to admit that she wants to move on.

You'll be fine. Sounds like you're still talking to her. Stop that. You need to step away for a bit and completely disconnect yourself from her. I'm not saying to completely cut her out of your life, but you should do that for like 6 months.

I guess you're right. But she's my best friend. It really sucks that two of my closest friends just moved away a few weeks ago.
But yeah, I need to see her as little as possible even if seeing her still makes me happy (before breaking my heart afterwards).

Staying friends with her is not in your best interest right now. Being friends simply won't be enough, not with someone you're in love with and you've just broken up with. It's not healthy for you or them. Make a clean break for your own good. Once you've moved on emotionally, you can always friend her on social media and rekindle a friendship from there.

You're going to feel like crap for a while, I wish there was some advice I could give for avoiding that, but it's the honest truth of the situation. My best advice is to do whatever you can to break the cycle of depression before it becomes depression. You said you feel like you're a failure, like there's no hope left, but you're only 27. Emotionally I know you're a wreck, but I hope you realize that logically you still have so much to look forward to. Use this time to prepare yourself for what's to come. Train to do things you've never done before. Invest the effort you would of been putting into your relationship into being a better you. Perhaps you can fill some of that emptiness in your chest with some pride.

I wish you the best, I think we've all been in similar circumstances. As others have said, the pains fades in time, slowly.

Thanks for your kind words.
I need a lot of pride to fill the emptiness though, haha. I will try to hit the gym soon and also get some professional help to deal with my anxieties. Don't know if that will help but it's worth a try at least.
It might be the easy way out, but I don't want to let the depression win. Maybe she was not "the one" but I just wanted her to be it.

I know that we haven't met personally but it really makes me feel better to talk to you guys. Thank you so very much!

 

[JimmyRustler]

Jup, it sucks and it's totally not worth it. Perfect chance for you to learn to live on your own. Once you do, it's the best thing ever.

 

[DesertEater]

Thought this was about the TV show and came to agree. Season two is such a shit.

But regarding your situation, time will everything. You're still young and have time to enjoy your life. Figure your shit out, get over her and don't waste your time on a sinking ship.

Good luck!

 

[Monkeyball]

I'm happily married, with a 7 month old baby.

When I look back at my life, I realize every heart break was a necessary step towards finding the "perfect" match for me. I grew and learned from each one.

Just don't become bitter, better days will come, the sun will keep rising every day, and love will find you again.

Good luck friend.

How do you get past the age difference?

Spoiler

bad joke sorry

 

[MGrant]

- You're going through addiction withdrawal. Love is a drug as strong as many others. It'll get better in time.

- You're never alone. Don't give in to the temptation to be invisible and give up on everything.

- Focus on your needs right now. Stay healthy, active, and do things you're interested in doing. Make yourself feel good and try meeting new people when the time is right.

 

[CortexVortex]

Fucked up big time.
Got really drunk yesterday, then I bumped into her on my our way home. Of course I thought it's a great idea to tell her that she needs to give me another chance, that I am finally able to change and everything will be awesome.
Well, needless to say that I came across as an insane drunk and she locked herself in the bedroom when we came home (first, she wanted to stay with a friend but she didn't reply so she had to sleep at home).

Can't believe I am that stupid. Why did I had to get drunk? Why did I have to talk to her like that?
Jesus. I will try to sleep at a friend's place for the next two days to get distracted.